January 26th, 2016

Chanel's Haute Couture offerings were better than Versace, but no by a huge margin. The dress up there/over there is the only one out of 60+ that I actually liked. Sarah xx

~*~*~

"Hello, duckling."

"Hello, Pug."

"Ah, so we're back to name calling now?"

"It comes from a place of love."

"If you say so."

"How were today's shows?"

"They were ok. I was pleasantly surprised by the Chanel show. Some of the designs were really nice."

"Really? Well, that's good."

"Yeah. You'll never guess what happened to me today, though?"

"Never a truer word said. Just tell me, it'll be easier."

"Well, Cara Delavigne- do you know who she is?"

"Yes. She's supposedly a model."

"Right, her. Well, she brought her puppy with her-"

"Puppy? Like, dog?"

"Yes, her dog. She brought it to the show, and as the show was closing and people were mingling after, her dog decided to pee on my brand new Louboutins."

"Haha! It peed on you. Wait, what's a Louboutin?"

"Louboutins. You know, red soled shoes. I was furious!"

"That's funny."

"No, it bloody wasn't. I had to go back to my hotel to change and was running late for my meeting with an up and coming designer."

"Well, you didn't have to change your outfit, did you."

"Yes, I did! The shoes completed my look and without the shoes, I didn't have a look at all. So, I had to change. Anyway, that's not the worst thing to happen today."

"It isn't?"

"Nope. I totally humiliated myself in front of the designer I was meeting with."

"How so?"

"I arrived at his studio and bumped into something. Thinking it was a model, because of the dress, I apologised."

"How is this humiliating?"

"I'm getting there. Anyway, as it happens, I bumped into a mannequin, not a person. Then- and this is where it gets embarrassing- I said, 'Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a person.'"

"Haha. You not only apologised to a mannequin, but you proceeded to talk to it? That's hilarious, not humiliating."

"You would think that. The designer thought I was cooked in the head. I was mortified."

"You are cooked in the head."

"I'm beginning to see why people think that of me."

"It's only now you're beginning to see it?"

"Shut up, Danny Boy."

"No, thank you. So, last day in Paris tomorrow, huh?"

"Technically. It's my last working day but I'm not travelling until Thursday."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you something."

"What? Wait, let me guess! You're pregnant?"

"Yes, I'm pregnant. You guessed correctly."

"Always do, hon. So, what's your news?"

"I'm going away next week."

"Oh."

"I'm going back to Dubai. I have to meet one of my clients."

"In Dubai? Why?"

"Because that's where he lives."

"Let me guess, he's a rich Emirati Prince, or something."

"Not quite. British ex-pat."

"That's not exciting in the least."

"He is rich, though. Too rich. That's why he wants his divorce to go through the courts there and not here."

"Divorce? You're a divorce lawyer?"

"Ah, I'm guessing I forgot to tell you that."

"Must have slipped your mind."

"Yes, uh, well... I don't tend to tell people what part of the law I practice. They always assume I'm a blood sucking, money hungry, love-does-not-exist type of person."

"Are you any good at it?"

"Yes."

"Huh. Well, if I ever need to get my quicky Vegas wedding dissolved, I know who to call. Do you do mates rates?"

"What?!"

"Ew. What the hell? Did you just spit at the phone?"

"..."

"Daniel?"

"..."

"I think you drowned your phone in saliva."

"I was getting a cloth to wipe up the tea."

"That you spat tea onto your phone?"

"Phone, couch, carpet... Elias."

"Oh, Elias is with you?"

"Yes. Why?"

"No reasons."

"So, back to this Vegas wedding. You were joking, weren't you?"

"I don't know, Daniel. Was I?"

"That's the thing, I'm not entirely sure."

"I though I was a book that was easily read."

"Yes, but sometimes I'm still a little wary. Right now, I'd say you were ninety percent joking but that ten percent chance that you're telling the truth is very tempting to believe."

"I did-"

"You did? You got married in Vegas?"

"Whoa, don't jump the gun. Gosh, give a girl some time to finish what she has to say. I did not get married in Vegas. Who does that?"

"Several of my clients, actually."

"No wonder they need a divorce lawyer, then."

"I'll have you know, Church of England weddings are statistically more likely to come to me seeking an end of the marriage than the Elvis led marriages."

"Interesting. But, just out of interest, if I did ever need a divorce lawyer, you do do mates rates, right?"

"There's no chance in hell of me representing you. I'd represent the poor bugger that's divorcing you. He'll need all the help he can get to get away from you, and like I said, I'm good. No, wait. I'm the best."

"I resent the fact that you won't represent me. I also resent the fact that you think the man would be the one to divorce me and not the other way around. Furthermore, the best? Really?"

"Really. You honestly had no idea I was a divorce lawyer? I thought you saw my LinkedIn profile."

"I saw your profile. I didn't read it."

"You just wanted to see my pretty face."

"I wouldn't necessarily say you have a 'pretty' face."

"Insulted."

"Again, if you would just let me finish."

"Ok, continue."

"No. You don't deserve to hear any compliments now. You missed your chance for an ego boost."

"Shucks."

"Too right."

"Haha. I like this bantering we have going on, Sophie-kins."

"Ditto, duckling."

"But, as much as I like it, I have to go. I need to do some more reading for the Dubai case and try to find a loophole in the pre-nup."

"Sounds juicy. Deets, please."

"That's breaking my attorney-client privileges."

"You're such a bore."

"I'm sure you'll read about it soon enough. Like I said, the guy is rich. Filthy rich. His whole personal life will be splashed across the tabloids by the end of next week."

"I look forwards to it, then. Hey, before I forget. I learnt a new fact this week."

"Ok?"

"Guess how many birds US planes killed last year?"

"You actually learnt the answer to this question?"

"Of course. You never know when it'll turn up in a pub quiz."

"Who the hell would ask a question like that in a pub quiz?"

"Me."

"I'm friends with a lunatic. I don't know, Soph, how many birds did US planes kill last year?"

"Thirteen thousand, one hundred and fifty-nine birds. And one iguana."

"And one iguana?"

"Yep. I'm treating it as a suspicious, unexplained death."

"A suspicious, unexplained death of an iguana?"

"Do you have something against iguanas, Daniel?"

"No."

"I should hope not. Right, with that thrilling fact, I shall let you go and try to work out a loophole in Rich Brit's pre-nup."

"Thanks. Enjoy tomorrow, Soph."

"Will do. Enjoy... ending people's marriages."

"What a strange thing to say."

"I'm cool like that."

"Yes, you are. Bye, Sophie."

"Toodles, Daniel."