January 24th, 2016

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You know, usually the one doing the calling typically speaks first."

"Shh!"

"Sophie-"

"I said, 'Shh!'"

"Why?"

"Because I'm thinking of something to say!"

"Well, how long do I have to wait for you to think? I'm in the middle of a thrilling game of chess."

"Yeah, said no one, ever."

"Soph-"

"Shh! I'm still thinking."

"I'm still waiting- rook to A3- are you done thinking yet?"

"No."

"May I ask why you are thinking?"

"I'm trying to work out what I could possibly say to you after last night."

"Why what happened last night?"

"You know what, Daniel."

"No, I really don't."

"The stupid call that you weren't supposed to overhear!"

"I thought we were forgetting that happened."

"Well, I can't! God, I am beyond mortified that you heard any part of it."

"I liked the plan that we- bishop to H3- that we don't discuss any of it."

"Why?"

"Because if we have to talk about yours and Charlotte's conversation, then we need to address the fact that you were annoyed with me. Are annoyed with me."

"Why is life so complicated?"

"If it weren't complicated then it wouldn't be life."

"Ok, so we have two things to address. The first being what you heard and the second being the fact that I'm annoyed with you. Shall we discuss the issues in the order I gave?"

"Yes - No! Ok, um, knight to F3- in the order is fine."

"Who are you playing against?"

"What?"

"Chess. Who are you playing against?"

"Baxterley, my grandmother's butler."

"Connie has a butler?"

"Who the hell is Connie?"

"Your grandmother."

"You call my grandmother, 'Connie?'"

"Constance is such a mouthful."

"But, really? Connie? - Excuse me?- Baxterley says that my grandfather used to call my grandmother Connie in private. I didn't know that."

"Now you do. So, my conversation with Charlotte. We were discussing Luc and his doctor's appointment."

"Yes, and then?"

"Charlotte asked about you because Hugo has a huge bloody mouth."

"Yes, and?"

"And nothing."

"Ok, if that's your official line."

"It is."

"So, the fact that Charlotte thinks there's more to us than there is, is what exactly?"

"My sister's overactive imagination, that's all."

"Ok. Then, who is Him?"

"..."

"Sophie-"

"My ex-boyfriend and I don't want to talk about it."

"The reason I said on Friday that my and Samuel's relationship wasn't worth explaining is because it really isn't worth explaining. He and I have never been close and despite the fact that I love him, I don't particularly like him. Which is anything nicer than what he would say about me. Ask Samuel the same question and he'll give you a sob story that'll make your heartstrings tug for him. The truth is, brothers or not, we hate each other."

"But you love him?"

"Classic love-hate relationship."

"My ex boyfriend, the man that I dated and stupidly loved for six months, turns out to be a happily married father of two."

"..."

"I dumped him as soon as I found out about his wife and family but he kept calling and begging for a second chance. I refused and he couldn't accept that. Anyway, to cut a long story short, things went too far and I had a restraining order placed against him. He's not allowed to come within two hundred yards of me. And I had to move. I fucking loved my last flat!"

"..."

"So, that's why I'm not super into relationships because they get ugly when it all goes to shit. Now do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand. Has he ever violated the order?"

"Thankfully, no, he hasn't. It wouldn't do his public image any good if he did."

"Public image? "

"He's kinda famous."

"Of course he is. Anyone I would have heard of?"

"Probably. In the eighteen months since the order was served, he's been portraying himself as the ultimate family man in the press. His PR team are working overtime to make him look like the perfect hubby and daddy."

"How's that going?"

"Let's just say that his PR team should get a gold medal. They could make even El Chapo look like a saint, they're that good."

"El Chapo? The Mexican drug lord?"

"Yep, the exact one."

"By any chance, after the restraining order, did he serve you with a gagging order? You know, one of those orders that say you can't talk about any aspect of your relationship otherwise you'll be financially liable?"

"No, he didn't. Like I would want people to know I'm the other woman!"

"Understandable. So, all those other reasons you've given for not wanting a relationship, for example, your job, those were just excuses? The real reason being that you don't want to get hurt again?"

"Urgh, don't ever rationalise it like that! It makes me sound broken."

"Fine, you're not broken. You're perfectly whole. Which, if you'll permit me to say, is worrying. Because if you're like this as a whole, then there's something fundamentally wrong with you! - No, Baxterley, it's not rude. At least not with this woman.- Sophie, tell Baxterley that you're not offended by what I said."

"I'm totally offended by what he just said!"

"Sophie be serious!"

"Fine. I'M NOT OFFENDED BY DANIEL'S COMMENTS!"

"- See, she's not offended.-"

"Anyway, I'm not broken, per se. I've had relationships since Him but they don't tend to last long. The last one ended around Christmas time. It wasn't an amicable break up, though."

"What happened?"

"He wanted more, I didn't. I told him that, he wasn't happy."

"But he's not harassing you, is he?"

"No, he isn't. I can take care of myself, Daniel. I've taken some self defence classes so I'm good. Thanks for the concern, though. It's touching."

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated."

"I know- just a moment, Charlotte. I'm on the phone!- I have to go-"

《Is that lover boy?》

"-piss off, Charlotte!- I should go before she tries to wrangle the phone from me and decides to interrogate you."

"I'm a lawyer, I think I can handle it."

"Trust me, you've never gone up against anyone like Charlotte."

"Huh, that could be interesting. One day soon, maybe."

"Not even then. She'll eat you alive, my friend."

"Like sister, like sister."

"I'm a delight compared to Charlotte."

"Said no one ever."

"Boo, you suck!"

"Truth hurts, baby."

"Did you seriously just call me 'baby?'"

"Do you prefer something stupid, like 'duck?'"

"Hey, 'duck' is not stupid!"

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Look, Charlotte's on her way back so I better go. I'm doing this as as favour to you."

"Ok. Well, I have to go, too. Baxterley is about to beat me at chess and I'll be damned if that happens!"

"Well, good luck with that. I'm rooting for Baxterley."

"Naturally. Speak to you tomorrow, Soph."

"Bye, Daniel!"

"Bye, Soph."