January 21st, 2016

Once again, if you see >, it means a third character is talking. Enjoy, Sarah xx

~*~*~

"Are you back in London yet?"

"I'm going through customs at Heathrow. Or, I'm trying to, anyway."

"I must say, you sound positively thrilled to be home."

"I'm sure I'll sound even more positively thrilled once I actually get home. I miss my bed. I don't think you understand that."

"Must be a hell of a bed if you miss it that much."

"It is a hell of a bed. King sized, four poster, solid wood. Fifteen tog duvet, a mountain of down pillows, Egyptian cotton sheets. It's like sleeping on a cloud."

"A cloud?"

"The bed in New York was like sleeping on a bloody wood pallet without a warm duvet, comfy pillows and soft bedding. I need my cloud- What are you looking at?-"

"Who are you talking to?"

"Some arsehole that thinks I'm weird because I said the word 'cloud.'"

"So you snapped at him?"

"He deserved it. Bloody hipster."

"Let me guess, you're jet lagged?"

"How'd you know?"

"Because you're being a raging bitch. What's up, Pug?"

"I just spent eight hours on a plane from New York and now I have to wait to go through customs to come into my own fucking country. I hate travelling."

"You sound very angry. I have to wonder, why do you travel if you hate it so much? And, really, Sophie, no comment about being called Pug?"

"I travel because I like the destination, just not the means of transportation. To be honest, the whole Pug thing is entirely my fault. I shouldn't have told you. I'm not sure why I did tell you. Either way, my fault."

"Is this a sort of test? If it is, I have the best answer to this situation. It was entirely my fault."

"Haha, nice try in wanting to take the blame but it really was my fault. Some embarrassing secrets should be kept a secret. Pug, included."

"How long is the queue at customs?"

"It's clogged up. I'm pretty sure, if you put us to stand in a straight line, we'd reach Denver, Colorado."

"That bad, is it?"

"Worse."

"Suck it up, Pug."

"I sometimes wonder why I bother to call you."

"You hardly ever call me first. I'm the one that always calls you."

"Really. Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Huh. Interesting. I better step up my game."

"Yes, you should."

"Ok, that was the perfect opportunity for you to use your right answer. You know, 'No, Sophie. I shall continue to call you first.'"

"Stop trying to imitate me. It's a poor interpretation, Sophie. That said, you really should call me more often."

"..."

"Why are you being quiet? I can hear you breathing but you're not speaking. Did you have a stroke or something?"

"Do not make jokes about strokes. I was processing, that's why I was quiet."

"What is there to process?"

"Whether or not I want to phone you any more."

"Come again?"

"I mean, I'm really not that good at phone calls-"

"I think you're doing a stellar job at phone calls."

"-Thanks, but what I was getting at was that I'm not great at keeping track of calls and it would probably be weeks before you heard from me if I was the one that had to call you first."

"So, for ease of access, you want me to call you first?"

"I wouldn't call it 'ease of access.' That's sounds too... sexual, in a weird kind of way."

"How, in your twisted mind, does that equate to being remotely sexual?"

"Hugo once said something about 'ease of access' just before he went and conquered Everest."

"Everest?"

"Oh, that's the nickname we gave his ex-girlfriend. She had big tits."

"Tits?"

"You don't like the word? Fine, she had larger than average breasts- Seriously, dude, do you see me listening on your conversation? Back the hell off.-"

"Leave the poor man alone, Sophie."

"He's being judgemental. It's annoying."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't be saying that sort of thing in public."

"Now you're being judgemental."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Yes, you are! - Yes, sir. Just a moment.- Daniel, I'm handing you over to the custom's officer while I'm being interrogated."

"Interrogated?"

"..."

"Sophie?"

"..."

"Hello?"

>

"Um, hello. Who is this?"

>

"Daniel. Is Sophie really being interrogated?"

>

"Typical over reaction, then."

>

"Why did he reconsider?"

>

"She's not my girlfriend, but I'll agree that she's scary."

"Daniel, stop talking shit about me. I am not scary."

"Oh, I didn't know you had your phone back."

"Clearly."

"I was only saying that about you to placate the custom's official."

"Liar."

"So, you're cleared to re-enter the country."

"Yep. I get to go home to my cloud!"

"You have a  weird relationship with your bed."

"I have a blissful relationship with my bed. It's the only thing that hasn't disappointed me. Men disappoint, blister causing shoes disappoint, Jon Snow dying was a huge disappointment. It took my years to get over Ned Stark's death, and then those sadists over at HBO rip my heart out all over again."

"I assume we're talking about a TV show."

"Where have you been living since 2011? Under a rock? Under the sea? Under Arabella's thumb?"

"I don't watch TV."

"You're missing out, duckling. Ok, go to your nearest HMV, or Tesco even, and buy every available season of Game of Thrones."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because we can't be friends unless you watch all the episodes. Trust me, you won't be disappointed."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"How many seasons?"

"Five. Season six starts in April. Winter is coming."

"We're in mid winter, Sophie. It's coming to an end."

"Oh, you uneducated fool."

"I'll have you know that I'm very well educated."

"With your law degree, you mean? Socially, you're lacking."

"Gee, thanks."

"You're welcome. Now, Game of Thrones is a must see. Oh, I've got it! If you watch GoT, I will make a bigger effort in calling you first."

"As a lawyer, I feel like I should tell you that this is blackmail and it's against the law."

"Seriously?"

"I could make a strong argument for it, yes."

"You really need to get a life."

"Mhm. I am acutely aware of that. Elias lectures me on that all the time."

"Oh, that reminds me, I need to call him."

"Uh, no, you don't."

"Whatever. I'm about to jump in the car and I know that as soon as I'm sat in the plush seat, I will fall asleep."

"Even if it's not your cloud?"

"Even if it's not my cloud."

"Ok, well I guess I'll call you tomorrow."

"Or, maybe I will call you. You never know. Stranger things have happened."

"I won't hold my breath."

"Good shout. You'll probably die of asphyxiation."

"I see you're utterly concerned about my welfare."

"Naturally."

"Liar."

"Bye, Daniel. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Mhm. Enjoy your cloud, Soph."

"Oh, I shall."