May 27th 2016

Unedited. 21:20 27.05.16

Sarah, xx

~*~*~

"What colour is your bridesmaid dress for Emma's wedding?"

"I can't tell you."

"What do you mean, you can't tell me?"

"I'm not at liberty to divulge any wedding related information."

"Why not?"

"My very neurotic sister has us all sworn to secrecy."

"Even from me?"

"From everyone. Not even Dad knows half the details and he's paying for the whole lot."

"But I need to know what colour dress you're wearing."

"No, you don't."

"I do, because I need to get a tie to match."

"A tie?"

"A bow tie?"

"A bow tie?"

"A cravat?"

"Haha, like Fred from Mystery Inc.?"

"From what?"

"You know, Scooby Doo?"

"Never seen it."

"Your childhood must have been bleak."

"My childhood was fine, thank you very much. Unlike some, I was out enjoying the countryside instead of sitting indoors watching Scooby Doo."

"Excuse me, I was not sitting indoors watching TV all the time. I lived in some amazing cities. How else would I have known about the Catacombes?"

"No! Never talk about that place again."

"Still not over the fact that you went into the Parisian underground and saw human bones, I see."

"No sane person would get over it. In fact, no sane person would ever go down there in the first place. You'd have to be bloody mad to do that!"

"You went. Therefore, according to you, you're mad, too. But I'll tell you a secret, some of the best people are."

"Funny to be quoting Lewis Carroll, but no more talk of the graveyard."

"Fine. You spoil all my fun."

"Diddums."

"Anyway, you can't wear a cravat."

"So, tie or bow tie?"

"Um... tie? Wait a second. -Emma? Une cravate ou un nœud papillon?-"

>

"-Daniel.-"

>

"Daniel? Emma says to wear a tie?"

"Colour?"

"God, so many questions! -Emma, quelle couleur?-"

>

"A black tie."

"Black isn't that a little too... funeral for the occasion?"

"Oh, for God's sake. I'll sort out a suit for you. Tie and all."

"Just a quick question, how come I wasn't allowed to wear a cravat, but I can wear a cravate?"

"Really?"

"I was just wondering."

"Surprisingly, the word 'cravat' doesn't come from the French 'cravate.' It's actually from the corrupt French pronunciation of the word 'Croate.' Cravats came from the uniform worn by Croatian military."

"History lesson as well as a linguistic and a fashion lesson."

"Multitasker, see."

"Apparently."

"Do you want me to sort out a suit for you or are you bringing one with you?"

"I'll bring my own, but it might be worth having one on standby just in case you don't like what I bring."

"I'm sure what you'll bring will be fine."

"Really?"

"..."

"..."

"I'll arrange to have one here just in case."

"Thought you might."

"Not that I don't trust you to bring one."

"Of course not."

"It's just that Emma is being very specific about what she wants at this wedding."

"Uh huh."

"I'm being serious!"

"I know."

"Whatever. So, how was your week? Is the sexual frustration getting any better?"

"If by 'better' you mean 'worse,' then yes. It's getting better."

"That bad?"

"Let's see... I can't concentrate, I'm constantly snapping at Evelyn and this morning, when I woke up, it was very clear that I'd been dreaming about you."

"Haha. That's... sweet?"

"It's not funny, Soph. I'm a man on the edge."

"Oh, shut up. It's not that bad. If you think about it, Monks are abstinent."

"Do I look like a Monk to you?"

"All these conversations this week would be extremely awkward if you were one."

"Good job I'm not a Monk then. I honestly do not get how they can abstain."

"Right? I mean, even Britney gave up that purity stuff."

"Who the fuck is Britney?"

"Britney Spears. Oh, and the Jonas brothers. I'm pretty sure Nick and Joe are having sex."

"Soph?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are we talking about Britney Spears and the Jonas brothers?"

"I'm demonstrating a point."

"I can't keep up with you."

"You'll be saying that next week, too."

"Oh, will I?"

"Yes."

"I'm not sure if that's a threat or a promise."

"A little bit of both. I'm insatiable."

"Please don't say stuff like that. Not while I'm three thousand miles away."

"Haha, ok."

"Thursday had better hurry the fuck up!"

"Sweetheart, you're starting to sound a little desperate now. Who knew you wanted to get into my pants that much?!"

"It's not about getting into your pants, 'gator. It's about seeing your smile."

"My smile?"

"I haven't seen it in over a month. I'm starting to forget what you look like when you're smiling."

"Seriously?"

"I have that photo of us from our date at MEATmarket, when you were grinning like a weirdo, but it's not the same when it's a photo on your phone. I want to see the real deal."

"I think you just went up, like, ten boyfriend points."

"Only ten?"

"Fine twenty."

"Twenty? C'mon, Soph that must be worth at least... a million points!"

"Dream on, Danny Boy. Not even you are that smooth!"

"Oh, babe, you haven't seen the start of it yet."

"You talk a big game, Whitaker."

"Don't you know it, Clément."

"You know I'm going to be majorly disappointed if you don't turn out as charming as you promised."

"Ah, crap. Right, I really need to step up my game."

"You bet your sexy arse you do."

"Haha, if that's the type of charm I'm going to have to beat, then I'm cool. Sexy arse, Sophie? Really?"

"What? Your arse is sexy! You just can't see it because it's behind you, but for the rest of us, that's a hell of a nice view! It's the only time I'm actually happy that you're walking away from me."

"I'm flattered."

"Mhm."

"You're thinking about my arse now, aren't you?"

"Oh, you bet I am."

"Well, in that case, I'll leave you and your imagination run wild about my arse."

"Just what every girl wants to hear!"

"You're bonkers."

"I know."

"But I'll let you in on a secret... all the best people are."

"That we are, my friend."

"Later, 'gator."

"Soon, baboon."

"Bye, Soph."

"Night, Daniel."