May 6th 2016

CatastrophicAura Is the Dubai fact truth of fiction?

Allofthestars-234 Does the tree exist?

Not sure who could verify the fact about the sloth!

Unedited! Be warned!

~*~*~

"Guess what I learnt today?"

"What did you learn today?"

"There's this drug for schizophrenia and depression-"

"Hold on, I think I might need to sit down for this."

"It's called Abilify and it can cause excessive shopping, compulsive eating and an uncontrollable urge to have sex."

"..."

"That sounds like me when I'm on my period."

"Yep, glad I'm sitting down."

"You're going to freak out about the fact that I said 'period'?"

"No, but it's an interesting theory that you're probably going to explain in great detail, so I'm glad I'm sitting down. So, when you're on your period, you shop more, you eat more and you want to have a lot of sex?"

"Basically."

"How do you explain your behaviour when you're not on your period?"

"Well, that's just me being a woman. With needs."

"Quick question- why do you have this uncontrollable urge for sex when you're on your period?"

"Because I want what I can't have."

"You technically can have sex when menstruating."

"Ew, gross on so many levels, Daniel."

"I didn't say you should or that you would, just that you could."

"Still disgusting."

"And the shopping and the eating?"

"I don't have a therapist, so I turn to shopping."

"Ah, retail therapy."

"Yep, and then the compulsive eating is because I love chocolate!"

"Interesting. Why, exactly, did you learn this fact?"

"Twitter."

"Ah, the modern day Encyclopaedia."

"I thought that was Wikipedia?"

"Maybe you're right."

"Anyway... I'm not entirely sure why I bothered to remember this particular fact. I'm not even taking Abilify, so it's a pretty useless fact."

"True. So, uh... you know tomorrow?"

"Yes?"

"It's Saturday."

"And?"

"Are we going to Skype?"

"Oh."

"..."

"..."

"It's just... we're getting along and I was hoping that maybe... I don't know, we could-"

"No."

"Right."

"It's not that I don't want to, because I really want to see you, but I told you that the next time I see you, we could talk about what happened, and I don't want to do that over Skype. You understand, right?"

"I do, but that doesn't mean that I like it."

"Daniel-"

"It's ok, I promise. As long as we can talk about it eventually."

"Of course. Now, do you want to hear another fact I learnt on Twitter?"

"I'm going to regret saying this, but, yeah."

"One in thirty-eight people living in the US live in New York City."

"No way. Really?"

"Apparently."

"That's pretty cool."

"There's this tree in Kolkata in India that's bigger than your average Walmart. It's over two hundred years old and it's roots cover almost four acres of land."

"That's vaguely interesting."

"It takes sloths forty-two hours to have sex."

"Tantric sex. Man, just thinking about sex is making me hungry."

"Thinking about sex makes you hungry?"

"Mhm."

"Apparently, in Dubai, you can push a button on a refrigerator magnet to order pizza and it'll get delivered to your door."

"Is that true?"

"Not sure. But if it is, I'm moving to Dubai next. Wait, why are you asking me? You've probably spent more time in Dubai than I have."

"Yeah, but I usually stay in hotels. If I want a pizza, I call room service."

"Typical man."

"Sophie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not even sure what we're talking about any longer."

"Me neither."

"Haha, tonight's conversation took a turn into weirdville."

"Where Sophie Clément is the President."

"No competition from me on that point."

"Finally! I'm the President!"

>

"-Jasmine, you need to... go away?-"

>

"-Piss off.-"

>

"-Absolutely fabulous?-"

>

"-Will do.- Did you hear that, Daniel?"

"I did. What are you requesting?"

"Hm?"

"You're requesting something. What is it?"

"Oh... you know... Stuff."

"You and my grandmother are up to something again, aren't you?"

"Well, technically it's my mother and Connie that's plotting."

"God, I still have that blood board meeting next week."

"It'll be fine."

"I wish I could be that optimistic."

"Fine. It'll be horrific beyond belief!"

"Tell me about it."

"Prepare for the worst but expect the best."

"Do I have to go to this meeting?"

"Yes, if you want to find out what Mum and Connie are planning."

"Catch-22."

"Oh, that's a good book!"

"Never read it."

"How are we friends?"

"I accidentally called you and berated you for cheating on me on New Year's Eve."

"It was a rhetorical question."

"But I felt like I could offer a reasonably accurate answer."

"Oh, it was accurate, but it unnecessary."

>

"-By?-"

>

"-You know he can hear you, right?-"

>

"-Jasmine, get back here!- Daniel, I have to-"

"Go fire Jasmine?"

"Fire her? Why would I do that?"

"Because she's rude and opinionated and... American?"

"I can't fire someone because they're American, Daniel. And I wouldn't want to fire her, anyhow. Do you know how hard it is to find an assistant as good as Jasmine Gough? Impossible!"

"Would you kindly remind her that my name is Daniel, then?"

"But Jerky McJerkFace suits you."

"Go away, 'gator."

"I shall, baboon."

"So, phone call tomorrow?"

"Phone call tomorrow."

"Cool. Bye, Sophie."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"This is kinda where you say goodbye to me and we both hang up."

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you... can you just call me Soph, just once?"

"Sure?"

"Yeah."

"..."

"..."

"Soph."

"Right."

"Are you ok?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I'm good. Good bye, Daniel."

"Bye, Sophie."

~*~*~

A/N

Kinda random tonight, my little Blue and Red Danphie!

I LOVE Jasmine! Like, seriously... she's amazing. Now, who I could I eventually pair her off with? (I know who, but can YOU guess?)

Chapter tomorrow, remember!

Sarah, xx