A Curse So Dark and Lonely: Chapter 45

To my surprise, Jake joins me on a bench before midnight, saying he’ll wait for Grey with me.

He thinks he’s patronizing me. I’m not entirely sure what he really thinks is going to happen, but we curl onto a bench near the awning where Grey left me, as the city shuts down around us.

“Are you excited to be going back to fairyland?” Jake’s voice is edged with a little mockery.

“Go to hell, Jake.”

He says nothing, but eventually, a long breath escapes. “I’m not sure what to say, Harper.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Go back home.”

He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t leave, either.

“I was really worried about you,” I say. “I can’t believe what you were doing for Lawrence.”

He shakes his head somewhat ruefully. “I didn’t want to, Harper. I just … I just couldn’t see another way out of it.”

“I know.” My voice is thin. I keep thinking of Rhen and all the choices he’s had to make along the way.

I wonder what he’s doing now.

Would it have been so hard to tell him I love him?

Was that even a choice?

Did I love him?

This is all so confusing. I’ve never been in love before, but I feel like it shouldn’t be like this.

I look at Jake. “You could come with me. To Emberfall.”

His face twists, like he’s caught between believing me and wanting to patronize me before I vanish again. “Harper …”

“What?”

He rubs his jaw, roughened after two days of not shaving. His voice is low and quiet. “I can’t leave Noah.”

I hesitate. There’s a note in his voice I’ve never heard before. “You love him.”

He glances at me. His expression is almost shy. “I do.” He pauses, and that shyness turns into sorrow. “Mom’s the only one who knew.”

I rise up on my knees and lock my arms around his neck.

He stiffens at first, but then he holds me, too. “I missed you so much,” he murmurs against my shoulder.

“I missed you, too.”

“Even if there’s a part of me that thinks you’ve gone crazy.”

I laugh a little, but he doesn’t let go, so I don’t either.

“I wish I could have met Noah,” I say.

He draws back and grimaces. Late-night traffic rolls past us, but the sidewalks are empty. “I don’t want him to get involved. I don’t want him to know about any of this.” He pulls his phone—a new one he must have gotten to replace the one I lost in Emberfall—out of his pocket and glances at it. “He’s at the hospital tonight anyway. He said he gets off at midnight, which really means he’ll be working until like six in the morning.”

“How’d you meet him?”

Jake hesitates, but then a small smile finds his lips. “I was buying coffee once. When I was there with Mom. You know. He’d forgotten his wallet, so I picked up his coffee, too.”

“He’s a doctor?”

“Yeah, but he’s still a resident.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“He’s still learning. He’s doing a rotation in a hospital. He’s in the ER now.”

“Sexy.”

He grins. “Yeah.”

My eyes burn again, for an entirely new reason.

“I can’t believe you want to leave,” says Jake. “You just got home.”

I press my hands to my face. “There’s too much at stake.”

“In Emberfall.” He hesitates. “There’s a lot at stake here, too, Harp.”

“Yeah.” I pause. “Please. Please come with me.”

“You know I don’t really believe in this whole thing you’re telling me.”

“You do a little.”

He blushes. “Yeah, the part of me that used to hide in my room with Eragon and Harry Potter. But they’re not real.”

“It is real.” I hesitate, wondering what Jake will think of Grey. “You’ll see. At midnight. You’ll see.”

“Even if this magical swordsman appears—”

“He’s not magical.”

“Fine.” Jake rolls his eyes. “Even if this completely mundane swordsman appears, I can’t just snap my fingers and leave home. It’s nuts, Harper. Do you understand what you’re asking me to do?”

“I understand that you’re not going to be safe,” I say. “You think Lawrence isn’t going to hold what you’ve done over your head to make you do more for him?”

He flinches but doesn’t say anything. We sit and watch the odd car roll down the road. Somewhere in the distance, a woman is shrieking at someone: a child or a boyfriend. No way to know.

Darkness eventually slips out of the sky to wrap us up. The store closes. I’m curled on the bench, leaning against Jake. So much about him is familiar. His scent. The pattern of his breathing.

“Harper.”

I jerk awake. The street is pitch-black and I’m freezing.

“It’s almost midnight,” says Jake. “Do you have to do something special?”

Adrenaline hits me harder than a shot of espresso.

It’s almost midnight.

Grey is coming. This is it. I’m saying goodbye to Jake … possibly forever.

My breathing is quick and rapid. I look at the darkened streets, at the narrow store doorway.

Jake must read my panic, because he says, “Harper. We can just go home. You don’t have to go anywhere.”

“What time is it?” I demand.

“It’s eleven fifty-nine.”

I swallow. Leave it to Grey to bring it right down to the minute.

I don’t know what to do. Jake takes my hand. “It’s okay,” he says. “Whatever you decide.”

I count to sixty.

Then I do it again, in case I did it too fast. And again.

Grey doesn’t appear.

A strangled sound comes out of my throat.

“It’s okay,” Jake says again.

I punch him in the shoulder. “It is not okay.”

Something happened.

Grey would show. I know he would.

“We need to wait,” I say to Jake. “Just—we need to wait.”

We wait all night.

Grey doesn’t show.