Little Talks

I decided to go to my house before going to Neal's. I walked the whole way because no one's house was too far away from each other's in this neighborhood and I needed time to clear my head before speaking with Neal.

When I got there, my sister's car was the only one parked in the drive way.

I cringed as soon as I saw it. I had disappeared last night not even bothering to call home. It wasn't for my parent's sake; they probably didn't even know I had gone to the party, more for my sisters. I knew she cared about my wellbeing.

I hesitated before I walked into the house, slowly closing the door trying not to make my presence known to my sister then I tiptoed to the stairs.

I didn't get a foot up on a step before I heard Gwen growl from behind me. "Where in the hell have you been?" She snapped.

I cringed for the second time, slowly swiveling around to face her. "I-I was uh..." I started off not really sure if I should tell her about spending that night at Olivia's. Good thing Gwen started ranting before I could even finish.

"I was worried when I couldn't find you when we were leaving the party," She shouted throwing her hands up in frustration. "I called you about 100 times; I thought something had happened to you."

I really should have checked my messages. I hung my head with guilt, not really wanting to look at her face that was filled with disappointment, "I-I'm sorry."

Gwen sighs loudly, putting her hands on her hips, tilting her head towards the ceiling. "It's alright. It's just you have never been to a party before and I shouldn't have left you."

"It was expected." As soon as it the words left my mouth I felt kind of bad; Gwen lips down turned into a frown. Gwen felt bad when I brought up the fact that I'm always at home alone or our parents really don't care about me that much because she often tried to ignore it. "I m-mean, it was a party I expected you to go off and have fun." I didn't expect her to take Neal with her.

Gwen looked at me with an unreadable expression before coming over to me and pulling me into a hug. I haven't gotten a hug from Gwen since I was at least 10 or so. I was so shocked I just stood there as she hugged me. I felt like I was being rude not returning it so I lifted a hand and patted her awkwardly on the back.

"So what really happen? Where were you?"

I didn't want to tell her that Nolan had spiked my drink because then all hell would break loose or the fact that Olivia had left me alone for a few moments; so I thought on my feet.

"Uh, w-well Olivia had a f-few drinks and I didn't think it was safe f-for her to drive home so I-I took her." I swallowed trying to keep my stutter in check otherwise she would surely know I was lying. "Then Olivia let me stay at her house." I sort of mumbled the last part, but she still heard me.

"Are you serious?" Gwen said with squinted eyes and a big Cheshire type grin. I ducked my head trying to hide my blush, looking down at my feet. "Did something happen?" I just stood there, not saying anything, trying to avoid the question.

I was released from my misery when we heard someone come lumbering down the stairs. My grandma came down lugging to suitcases. I rushed forward to help rest of the way.

"Thank you kangaroo," She said a little breathless, making her way down the rest of the stairs. "Let's get this show on the road; I don't want to miss my flight."

My shoulders slumped immediately when I heard that. I had completely forgotten this was grandma's last day here. She would be leaving me to the wolves that were my parents. Without her, judgment would come at me in heaps.

"Sure thing." Gwen said giving me one last look, then scooping up grandma's suitcases and taking them outside to her car.

"Goodbye Grandma." I said dejectedly not looking directly looking at her. It was always like this when she left, we didn't hang out much but she made me feel safe.

"Kangaroo don't be sad. There will always be next time." She literally always says that when she leaves. It was the same routine. I get all teary eyed and then grandma says she will be back. I nod and in my head I think she that she will be back but it's never soon enough.

"I know."

Grandma gives me a sad smile before coming over to me and wrapping me in a hug. I return it automatically. She ruffles my hair then releases me. With a small wave, Grandma leaves out the door.

I let out a small sigh then trudge my way up the stairs to my room to change out this dress then head over to Neal's.

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I knocked softly on Neal's front door then waited with my hands clasped behind my back. Ms. Ramsey swung open the door not a minute later with a huge smile on her face.

"Josephine, honey, I haven't seen you in so long!" Ms. Ramsey exclaimed, pushing her red locks out of her freckled face and stepping aside.

"I saw you at the mixer." I said with a large smile and a nonchalant wave of the hand. I walk past her and into the house. I was just about to go up the stairs when Ms. Ramsey spoke again.

"Before you go I bought you and Neal some goodies. Wait here." She left the room and went in the kitchen while I bounced on my toes excited for the candy I was about to get.

Ms. Ramsey came back holding bags of gummy bears (my personal favorite), Twizzlers, and Starburst jelly beans. Why did she want to kill me? I went over to her taking the bags out of her arms then leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

"Thank you!" I squealed with excitement.

"You're welcome. Don't you dare eat all of it, save some for later?" She said with a scolding finger. I laugh going up the stairs not promising anything.

I turned left and went straight to Neal bedroom door. I didn't even bother knocking because what was his was mine.

Neal was stretched out on his bed reading something called Gifted hands by Ben Carson. I chuckled when I saw his t-shirt. It said "Never trust an atom.....They make up everything." It was such a corny joke, but hilarious at the same time.

When he just continued on reading failing to notice my presence, I huffed and went over to him and I snatched the book out his hand then tossed it on his desk.

"Hey! I was reading--" Neal stopped talking mid-sentence when I dumped that candy on his lap. He stared about it with wide eyes. "Where did you get this gold mine?" He said as he ripped out the bag of Twizzlers, sticking a couple in his mouth.

"Your mom gave them to me." I take a couple out of the bag as well; putting them in my mouth, making them look like walrus teeth.

"Ready to get everything that's in your mind off your chest?" Neal says with a mouth full of Twizzlers; and he tells me not to talk with food in my mouth.

I shook my head no. I don't think I was ready I confront my feelings, and not just because I began to feel nauseous, more because I was terrified that if I said it out loud it would be real and I would have to face it.

"Well tough, you're going to tell me anyways and I'll tell you what's been happening to me lately as well."

I nodded watching Neal as he swiped the candy onto the floor then lying down next to it on his back. I followed suit lying on my back next to him with the candy in the middle.

We usually did this when things got little hectic or new situations happened that caused us to think more than usual so we get together lie on our backs and talk out our problems; we trusted each other. It felt like the troubles of life were more bearable lying down, it was like it made the earth stop spinning for just a moment so you can catch up.

"Want me to go first?" Neal asked tilting his head to the side to look at me. I nodded.

Neal took a deep breath before speaking. "It was about the summer before this school year. You weren't home that day, I think you went to visit your grandmother and I didn't know about it. Anyways, I came over and Gwen was home. I was going to leave but your sister invited me to eat dinner with her. I said yes." He paused looking at me for my reaction. When I didn't say anything he continued on with his story. "One thing lead to another, I guess and now we have been dating for about a week."

We sat in silence for a couple of moments. Neal chewed nervously on a Twizzler waiting for me to speak. Instead I opened the bag of gummy bears then stuffing a fist full in my mouth. I chewed slowly trying to think of what to say.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"We thought you would be angry." He answered. "But recently we got tired of sneaking around and what not. We felt like you should know. Are you mad?"

"I'm not mad, I'm just a little hurt that you didn't tell me but I understand why you didn't."

"It's not that I don't trust you. It was just that we didn't know how you would feel about you best friend dating your sister." Neal said with a small chuckle. I guess I should have been mad but I wasn't. If they wanted to be together who was I to stop them?

"Good, now your turn." He said reaching over taking some gummy bears.

I took a deep breath, chewing on my lip nervously. My face heated all the way to the tips of my ears. I twiddle with a red gummy bear that I still had not eaten yet; I like to save those for last. I put my hands over my face not wanting to see his reaction. "Olivia asked me on a date." I whispered.

Neal shot up from his spot sitting up straight, with eyes wide. "You're shitting me?" I laugh a little which comes out muffled under my hands.

"No, I'm not shitting you. She asked me this morning."

"Wait hold on!" Neal said with eyes almost falling out his sockets. "What happen to you at the party?"

I wanted to feed him the same lies that I did my sister, but I trust him though I don't want him going on some type of protective rampage. I still didn't want to lie, so I modified the story a bit. "Danika got me a little drunk last night." Neal looked so angry that I could practically see the steam coming out his ears, I sat up and I patted his arm to try to calm him down. "Olivia handled it. I wasn't, uh, put together enough to go home on my own so she took me to her place."

"Sorry I wasn't there for you." He said. I just nodded my head already over it. Then Neal's eyebrows shot up to his forehead. "You slept over at her house!" I blushed even harder lying hard on my back with a thud covering my face again. "Oh my gosh! You didn't just sleep over at her house, you slept in her bed!" I blushed harder; I couldn't cover my embarrassment any longer, I quickly crawled up on Neal bed and dived under his blankets.

Neal laughed loudly dropping all his candy on the floor and jumped on top of me, bouncing up and down. "I can't believe this!" Neal shouted, ripping the cover back away from my face. "You slept in the same bed as Olivia freaking Winchester!" He exclaimed right in my face.

I cringed a bit knowing since I already told him the beginning of the story, mind as well tell him the rest. "I also k-kissed her." I said quickly tearing off the band-aid. Neal stopped bouncing immediately. His mouth fell open as he stared at me.

"You what?"

Apparently his mind couldn't take the shock. "I kissed Olivia." Neal just sat on top off me, staring. "I was drunk. And her lips looked soft." I mumbled the last part, but the way his eyes looked right about now I'm pretty sure he heard me.

Neal crawled off of me and leans on the headbroad of the bed. I pushed myself up and sat next to him, "So you like her?"

"I think I do." I said truthfully. I think I did like her. If butterflies in my stomach, blush always on my face, and my heart racing when she was near meant that I like her then I'm pretty sure I did.

"Do you even like girls?"

"I like this one."

"Did you say yes to the date?" Neal said before reaching over me to grab the jelly beans that were on the floor. I laughed at how silly he looked, with his long thin arms stretching out towards the candy. He came back up with the bag, taking a fist full he put some in his mouth then put some up to mine; I took them willingly.

"No, I told her I would think about it. She gave me her number though."

Neal chuckled popping more jelly beans in his mouth, while giving me a sideways look. "You sly dog."

I laughed along with him. "What should I tell her?"

"Clearly, you like her so tell her yes."

I sighed, I really did want to say yes but there was something holding me back. "What about my mother?" I had no idea what happen if Olivia and I were together. I blush just thinking about it. I didn't care about everyone else, just my mother really. This would give my mother another reason to think I was a failure.

Neal slammed the bag of jelly beans on the bed causing some jelly beans to escape and jump around on the covers. "May I be frank?" He asked staring at me with seriousness all over his face. When I didn't respond he continued. "Fuck your mother. You deserve to be happy."

I leaned over and buried my face in Neal's scrawny chest; he circled his arm around my back in response. He was right, I needed to forget about my mother thought and just be happy with myself and Olivia made me happy.

I pulled out my phone, enjoying the sound of Neal chewing in my ear for some weird reason as I typed out a simple message to Olivia.

"Yes."

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