Chapter 8 - When to keep your mouth shut and just spin the meat

“What do you mean he put you up to it?!”

Lichter was sat around the campfire with Ross, Wiesse and Troit barking out laughter in great guffaws and slapping his meaty hand on his thigh “You should have seen your faces” he wheezed, wiping a tear from his large golden eye.

“That son of a bitch” Wiesse remarked, he was laughing along with his friends and dropped his head to his hands in disbelief.

“So please for the love of all the known Gods, tell me you are not a fucking pacifist” Ross asked, and the bout of laughter was reinvigorated.

“I didn’t even know what it meant!” Lichter near shouted, bursting out with such fervour he toppled backwards off the log he was perched “he had to tell me!” he eventually got the words out through the laughter.

“What are you all laughing at so much?” Yerin asked as he poked his head out from the sole tent and gingerly led Felicity by the arm to the fireside.

“How you are apparently the world’s biggest asshole” Ross replied and passed a wine skein to Yerin.

The oldest member of their crew took the skein and chugged deeply to catch up with his comrades. After the battle of the day everyone had walked over the bodies left by Troit and Lichter’s massacre to where Felicity lay bleeding, taking a stab from one of the bandits. A short debate played out as to whether or not she was dead and if that then meant Lichter could eat her or not before she opened her eyes and promptly told them to ‘fuck off’. Since then they rebuilt her campsite, looted the bandit’s corpses and dispossed of them in the river, while Yerin, the only one with any medical know how had tended to Felicity’s wounds.

“Think I can get some of that?” Felicity asked, and ran a shaking hand through her short messy auburn hair

Yerin pulled his own gruff hand across his chin collecting the dribbled wine spilled from his hasty sip and tentatively passed the skein over. Everyone stayed quiet as Felicity practically upended the contents, streams of the red liquid cascading down either side of her chin.

The atmosphere around the campsite had gone from one of Joviality to a sombre respect. No one stopped Felicity from downing one of their last wine skins and they watched, aware that she had likely undergone a fair bit of trauma.

Ross felt a bud of pride well up in his chest and with a lump in his throat he realised that they had probably saved her life.

For the first time since he and Wiesse set out to become adventurers did he feel as though they had achieved something worthy of note, something that could be placed in the annals of his life as an achievement, of which there were very few to merit thus far. He wondered if this was the feeling that Squiz and the Impere he had travelled with must have felt. Though the famed adventurer had detailed in the books Ross loved how the crew he adventured with had done such heroic feats as defeat monsters that terrorized towns and freed cities from the clutches of ravaging hordes and despots, Ross felt as though he was taking the first steps toward such great heights. All that remained Ross thought was to return Felicity to her father, collect the reward and reap in the adulation of a good deed well done.

Felicity finished her thirsty gulp smacking her lips together with a loud relaxed exhalation “That is much fucking better” She said and burped contently. “I may have nearly died but at least I’m no where near that shithole of a farm”

“oh” Ross said, accidently putting word to his immediate thoughts.

“Felicity expressed to me as I tended to her wounds how she is out here because she ran away from home and is rather glad to be away from it. With no desire nor intention to go back.” Yerin said, his voice a monotone betraying no emotion but his eyes leering at Ross and Wiesse twitched highlighting his frustration.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

The collected crew slowly turned their heads to regard Felicity again and almost as one expressed a quiet “Oh”

Sensing an awkward silence Felicity coughed and, wiggling her nose habitually, she asked “so what brings you guys through this way anyway?”

“Well…” Wiesse slowly began, letting the sentence trail off unsaid.

“Would you believe us if we said we were simply walking around looking for pretty young damsels to rescue?” Ross asked hopeful and it elicited a short polite albeit uncomfortable laugh.

Felicity’s response warranted further shame upon the acting duo “If that were the case wouldn’t you have to actually pull your finger out come the fighting?”

Lichter burst out with a bawdy laugh and slapped at his thighs again, he tried to comment, pointing at the acting pair but his sentences never made it past a wheezy ‘she’ or ‘you’ due to his amusement. Felicity for her part bore a wide grin and her eyes shone with mirth as they took in the happy Kkyrunnig. Ross though was displeased to notice that the agreed upon group dynamic appeared to be shifting very quickly towards mocking Wiesse and himself.

The flame at the centre of their small circle hissed and spat a few rogue cinders into the dirt, loose sparks floated off into the darkened evening sky and a gentle breeze picked up which teased the flames and disturbed a duck that had been bobbing along the river. The creature took to the sky with a flapping of wings and splashes as its feet kicked away at the water’s surface and droplets fell scattered into the river. The noise distracted Lichter and Felicity for long enough to bring an end to the spew of comical jibes about the somewhat absent bravery of the acting duo.

Troit tested the heat of the flame and satisfied of its high temperature he produced a hog, liberated from the possessions of the bandits, and suspended it above the fire on a spit, also taken from the possessions of the bandits.

“Ah the loot, I trust you lot haven’t taken everything worthwhile already?” Yerin pried, and he looked over to the pile of tattered satchels, holdalls, and skeins.

“If by everything worthwhile you mean the pig that Troit is currently turning, the wine you are currently drinking and the amazing sum of three, no less three silver coins than your shit out of luck my friend” Wiesse replied and he held up the three silver coins to show their plunder.

“Don’t tell me, Lichter ate everything worthwhile when he murdered everyone?” Yerin asked, and the Kkyrunnig smiled sheepishly.

Wiesse shook his head “No we just appeared to have somehow stumbled upon the only people poorer than ourselves in this entire land."

“Well, I mean they probably buried their goods somewhere before the raid” Felicity chimed in and, unaware of the blank expressions now staring at her she took another long sip.

“Buried them?” Ross asked making no efforts to hide his confusion.

Felicity stared at him and all the vacant faces in turn as wine dripped form her lips “well, yea they’d have buried all their valuables, right?”

“Who in their right mind would do that!” Lichter asked, he had to angle his face downward so that both his eyes, being on the sides of his head, could focus forward. It gave off the impression he was talking intently to the floor.

“It’s kind of common practice. Before a bandit group goes on a raid or attacks someone they bury or hide a chest of their goods in a safe place.” Felicity rolled her eyes as the faces continued to stare blankly at her “That way if they get overpowered or scattered their goods are safe somewhere and they know where to regroup.”

“That” Ross began, then paused for a moment to contemplate it further “is actually really sensible.”

“Nothing like that in your little adventuring manual no?” Yerin mocked, but Ross just shook his head.

“Squiz never really detailed the finer workings of bandits, only where they're common, how to avoid them, the best way to barter with them and of course how he and the Impere slaughtered a fuck load of them.” Ross said matter-of-factly.

“So, all the useless stuff. So much for the vital adventurer’s guidebook”

“I mean” Wiesse added “that does at least explain why of the few bandits we have battled we have scrapped together almost nothing by way of loot.”

“You won’t find it anywhere nearby if that’s what you’re planning” Felicity said, interrupting the groups bickering “It would be at a safehold far away and pretty well concealed i bet”

“Well shit” Yerin burst “So we are officially left with nothing to show for this”

“Well we saved Felicity” Lichter pointed out, and Yerin tactfully chose not to answer.

“Hey, how comes you know my name?” Felicity asked, straightening her back and raising an eyebrow “I only told the old git here while he patched me up”

“Well that’s easy” Troit said as he gingerly spun the cooking meal and Yerin protested the 'old' comment “It was on the note”

“What note” She pressed, and the near naked barbarian just smiled blankly as he continued to tend to the meat.

“Well you see…” Wiesse began, but he trailed off without saying anything.

“You guys didn’t just happen to stumble upon me in need then, did you?” she asked

Wiesse sighed heavily “Yea, about that, so here’s the thing….”