Chapter 3 - Do crocodiles dream of Custard Bunnies

“no good” the storekeeper said, removing one of Yerin’s better forgeries from between his teeth and tossing it back to the pair. Yerin and Ross looked at the collected pile of coins on the countertop beside a basic short sword, each coin had a sizable bite mark denting its otherwise flawless surface.

“I’m not sure what’s happening” Yerin said, his weaselly voice aided the near imploring tone and puppy dog eyes he gave the shop keep.

The large set bald man shuffled on his feet awkwardly and scratched at his beard, for his part he tried to seem like he cared “Look it’s not just you guys, been hearing word of merchants along this trail getting scammed with fake coin a lot from the way you’ve just come. Likely your wares got sold to the same guy.”

A bead of sweat graced Ross’s head and he was thankful they entered the weaponsmiths with a fabricated tale of being merchants that need to protect themselves. The first few coins to be proven fake had given the very large shop keep a very angry expression. Least now they had a fall back.

Without pressing the matter, they left the store sword-less still and now several coins down.

“Well this is Shit” Ross said

“Best hope your quest plan pays off now Ross, because we have very little option left”

Ross shrugged “let’s just hope that Wiesse and Troit are having more luck at the guild hall”

They were not

“What in the name of all the God’s” Wiesse muttered from what he hoped was a secluded corner of the Guild Hall.

“I must say it is a very accurate drawing” Troit stated, studying the document thoroughly as though they were in one of the illustrious art galleries of the big cities and he had come to peruse the latest masterpieces.

The Town they were in was not a big one, still large enough for the standard amenities to be present, and while Ross and Yerin went to procure some weapons Wiesse and Troit had left Lichter to sun himself outside of town and gone to get a job from the Guild Hall.

It was likely to be as small as any guild hall got, doubling up as the town hall and having no bar or jostling adventure parties hanging about which were normally common place. But, despite its size it still managed to have a warrant, plain as day on the wall, for Wiesse and Ross’s arrest.

Wiesse stared at the image some more. It really was a good drawing of the pair of them, he was slightly flattered. He read the description:

WANTED!

Wiesse and Ross, formerly of the Icklehiemer Theatre Troupe.

Crime: The theft of two-thousand silver coins.

Reward: one hundred gold coins.

Paid upon presenting BOTH persons, alive or dead.

Payment will be given in the event head received only.

Short simple and to the point. Wiesse admired that. He looked down at the coin purse on his hip. There were only four silver coins left. It had been a long time ago, but when he and Ross gave up their previous lives as actors, they didn’t exactly leave empty handed.

Worse they had been frivolous with the spending, paying for the pair and Lichter was proving to be an expensive hobby, especially when they knew they had Yerrin’s back up forgeries to rely on.

But Wiesse was starting to understand Ross’s desire for a change of tact. Seeing the figure in front of him, two thousand really put into perspective how much they had at one point. Having absolutely nothing to show for it on the other hand was another thing.

Stolen story; please report.

-

Ross and Yerin walked through the small town square, a debate flittered half-heartedly in the air between them as to what constituted the definition of a town, village or city and they both settled on the decision that this was more a village than town.

They stopped by a fountain in the town/village centre, the stone bowl was dry and stained with the residue of old green moss. The spout at the centre where water should have been gracing the basin bore a broken statue of a person holding a fish. Ross gave it a once over to stave off boredom but turned to sit on the bowl when the clouds parted and the sun once more shone with the intensity intended to blind idiots that stare into the sky.

“So how much actual money do you have left?” Ross asked

Yerin was unceremoniously curled over his own bare foot which he massaged eagerly “Fuck all”

It was not a promising response.

“Crap, I think we’re all but out too. Wiesse holds onto our stash so I’ll need to ask what we’ve got to work with when he gets back”

“It’s not wise to keep it all in once place, you should split up the coin, you should know this Ross, all those silly little books you read”

“Hey I’ve split up the funds ok” Ross started defensively, hands up in mock offence “I just…”

Yerin ceased his foot prodding at the pause and looked back “You just what?”

“Well, I feel kind of stupid about it now, but, well Lichter carries the rest”

They both stared at one another for a very long time

“You are an idiot” Yerin said eventually and returned his attentions to his foot.

Ross nodded, it was hard to argue a case when he thought about it, the crocodile man was not exactly the embodiment of reliability. “I wonder where he puts it, he never has pockets…”

“Do you really, really want that question answered”

The response was a resounding no.

-

Wiesse held a warrant for his own arrest tightly bound in his fist. He kept throwing glances at the Guild Halls lone worker, a skinny man sat behind an intricate desk complete with carvings of ancient battles up and down the length of the legs. Wiesse wondered if he had been recognised, but the Guildsman simply carried on whittling a piece of wood.

“Lovely desk” Wiesse said, in an unintended shrill pitch that he hadn’t replicated since playing an overacted whinny lady in an old comedic theatre piece, he coughed to bring his voice down to a more respectable level “Carve it all yourself?” he barely managed in a few tones below shrill.

The man looked at the former actor with a look of perplexity and simply nodded, returning his attention to his work.

Wiesse let out an audible sigh, Troit suppressed a snigger.

They scanned through a few more of the requests on the board, stepping far away from the area marked ‘Bounties’ and ‘Dangerous’ to the far more desirable ‘Escort’ section, which had nothing in it and the slightly less but still preferable ‘Retrieve’ section.

“The choices in here are shit” Wiesse said

“I can’t read any of them” Troit pointed out. Reminding Wiesse that his companion was born before broader education became popular and actually lawfully required in certain areas. Which in turn reminded Wiesse of just how much older Troit was than himself, he suddenly felt like a child helping his father out with chores.

“Well never mind that Troit, because I just found the jackpot!” he plucked the scroll from the wall and rolled it up with his bounty “Ross will love this one, looks like we have ourselves a quest big man” he patted Troit on the shoulder and sauntered over to the desk where the whittler reluctantly put down his tools and opened a large leather tome.

“One bounty and one retrieve quest to sign for” Wiesse said proudly.

“Ident numbers of those two” the man said, his local drawl heavy and ideal to express his absolute disinterest.

Wiesse checked the markings on each scroll and read them out, the man ran his finger down the pages looking for the corresponding entry.

“So I’ll mark you down as accepting both, ya’ll need to tell us if you can’t get it done”

“Naturally” Wiesse agreed and proceeded to acknowledge the following terms of contract as they were read out

“Ok, so you got ol’ Patch’s task and a bounty for one Ross and Wiesse it says in my book. That right?”

Wiesse gulped. Then stared. The man asked again. Wiesse nodded.

“Well I just need your name, so we know who’s taken the job then”

There was a long pause, eventually Wiesse responded “Troit. My name is Troit” his companion stared.

“and this fella?” the whittler pointed at actual Troit

“Also Troit” Wiesse quickly stated

“I am Troit”

The man blinked. Wiesse stared. Wiesse gulped. The man shrugged. Wiesse sighed.

“That will be fifty copper for the quest and one silver on the bounty then for deposit”

“What?!” Wiesse near blurted “We have to pay you?”

“Well we have to get a deposit; otherwise how would we know you’re gonna get it done?”

Incredulous Wiesse pulled out two silver coins and deposited them on the desk. Taking his change and looking into his coin purse he audibly whimpered.

“I hope Lichter still has the rest or we’re going to all be at Yerin’s mercy for the next few turns” Wiesse said, the hopelessness in his words palpable.

-

Just by the outside of town Lichter sat on the hard dirt ground soaking in the warm sun rays. The atmosphere was quiet and peaceful. It was nice to be away from everyone for a while he thought.

An enticing smell wafted over and he lifted his head from its snoozing position. A vendor had just set up nearby and he cooked hot food which eddied plumes of fragrant smoke about the place. A sign showed a list of foods. Lichter, who it turned out could read went through the list and settled his eyes on ‘Custard Buns’ Hehe, like little custard bunnies Lichter thought and amused himself with images of custard rabbits bounding about. He licked at his lips and checked at the coin purse stored in his cheek, within a small pouch, he poked it a couple of times to see if he had any coin. Just enough to spare he thought and sauntered over to the vendor.