In a clearing deep in the thickly forested slopes of Glen Durie, I faced off to my attacker.
All in black tactical gear, he raised a handgun and pointed it directly at my chest. Then, with menacing ease, he flicked off the safety.
âWhat are you going to do?â he growled.
Sweat dripped down my face and into my short beard, the summer sun strong even for Scotland, and I subtly shifted my weight so I was on the balls of my feet. Tiny movements so not to telegraph my intent.
To stay alive, I needed that gun in my possession and the man immobilised.
âWaitââ I started.
A deflection.
With practiced reflexes, I shot out my left hand and grabbed the weapon, simultaneously hitting and buckling his wrist with my right.
Oh, and swerving my body out of the line of fire.
The gun boomed, a shot discharged, just before I forced the barrel to face the assailantâa tactic to get him to give it up.
It worked. I danced back, the revolver now mine. I trained it on the man then threw a fast glance down my body.
No marks.
This time, Iâd survived.
âBetter,â Jack announced. Heâd dropped to the ground to show his submission. âNow what?â
I raised the weapon, acting out smacking it into his temple.
âDead.â From the edge of the clearing, Max sang his bet.
I tilted my head. âThat would knock him out.â
âIâm with Max,â Lochie said from his lean against a tree, my dog rolling in pine needles on the ground beside him. âYe donât put yourself at risk of role reversal. If he gets the gun back, he wonât hesitate.â
Jack pointed at Lochie. âWhat he said. Youâre thinking about this with too cool a head, Cameron. If you ever go up against a gunman again, it wonât be in a controlled environment. Itâll be a surprise, and you need to train your instincts to protect yourself, not just attack. Disarm, then fire or get away. Letâs take it from the top.â
For a day per week over the past three months, weâd drilled in defence techniques. Jackâs deadly teachings had me growing in confidence. Weâd even spent time at a shooting range. Iâd handled a shotgun, though it had fucked with my head.
Here with a pretend weapon, I had no such problems.
Jack took back the fake gunâone that shot paint pellets to mark where a bullet wouldâve torn into meâand gestured for me to try again. âThis time, lad, get angry first.â
I squinted at him.
Jack rolled his hands. âI need you pissed off. What was the last thing that caused you to fly into a rage?â
That was easy. Elise had.
Or, rather, her belief that Iâd sold her out.
Add to that the person whoâd taken a photo of her in that intimate moment, one that had been branded on my mind as the single most erotic scene of my life, and then shared with the fucking world.
Her expression as sheâd smashed up my car. The pain that little lunatic had been in.
At the time, Iâd had no clue why she was acting that way.
But afterâ¦
Anger and hurt built in a steady rolling wave.
âOh fuck,â Max quipped from the side. âHeâs flipping out. Itâs the lass, aye?â
Max was the only person who knew what Elise had done. Even Isobel, whose garage Iâd driven to and paid to replace the windows, didnât know the source of the damage. Max had been inside the crofthouse, though halfway to being drunk. Heâd seen it all.
âShut it, Max,â I warned.
âMake me,â he jeered, enjoying himself.
âGood. Channel that.â Jackâs instructor persona dropped.
He trained the gun on me, both hands now on the barrel. âOn your knees, kid. Iâm going to put a bullet through you, then Iâm going to fuck your pretty girlfriend while you watch. What are you going to do about it?â
The last few words were his key to prompt me to take action.
Instead, my mind leapt to a different scene. One where I was protecting a woman. Elise. Iâd failed her with the photographer on the estate.
At my hesitation, Jack advanced a step. âCome the fuck on, prick.â
Right.
I snapped out my left and grabbed the gun, swerving out of the imaginary line of the bullet. But instead of following it up with my right hand taking the top of the gun, above Jackâs grip, I encircled his wrist.
A mistake.
We wrestled for a second, and he angled the gun back at me, regaining control.
Bang.
A splat of yellow powder hit my t-shirt.
Groans sounded from Lochie and Max. I dropped on my arse in the forest floor.
âDead,â Jack confirmed. âYou forgot your technique. It happens under pressure. Youâre stronger than me, Cameron. Over two decades younger. All you need is to keep your head.â
In a move fuelled by irritation and the ever-present memory of Elise, I leapt up. âAgain,â I demanded.
Jack gave an evil smile of approval then raised his gun one more time.
Late the following afternoon, my emergency radio blared with a mountain rescue alert. Lochie was away for a few days, so I was on point. My heart sped. In short order, I took the message and rallied the crew, jumping into my car to head to the hangar, my dog at my side.
Life had been restored.
My days were filled with work, call-outs took me out into the hills with regularity, and I packed my free time with training. Physio had improved the range of movement in my shoulder. Peace had been restored.
Except I was anything but chill.
That buzz of disquiet Iâd felt in the spring hadnât faded. If anything, it had worsened. I couldnât settle. At all. And I had no clue what to do about it.
Maybe another trip out with Max would help.
At the hangar, Gordain hailed me. âCameron, do ye have a minute?â
A group of mountain rescue volunteers including Maddock hustled in and passed me, into the operations room where our equipment store waited.
I pointed at them. âHad a call. After?â
The older man lifted his chin. âCome down to the castle. No matter how late, Iâll be working. Itâs important.â
âSee ye then.â I forced away the need to know his question and got on with the job.
In two Jeeps, I led a crew south through the Cairngorms. As rescues went, this could be a straightforward oneâan eighteen-year-old man had become separated from his friends while out on a hike and lost contactâbut that wasnât always the case.
The route theyâd takenâthe Three Bridges trailâmeandered over low-lying hills and across gravel rivers and a gorge. It was an easy hike on a beautiful, warm evening. In all likelihood, the missing person would walk in by themselves.
âDo we have details yet? Which path the party took?â I asked.
Alasdair, the twinsâ da, had been talking to dispatch. He removed the phone from his ear. âItâs a lad and two lasses, out for a swim. Only two made it back to the pub where a parent was picking them up. They donât know what happened to the missing lad.â
âHe just vanished? At what point?â
Alasdair stroked his bearded chin. âThey seem to be confused. Or maybe not telling the whole story. Ye know what I think? They were doing something they shouldnât and didnae want to say.â
âWhat makes ye think that?â
âI know the area. The last of the three bridges is high over the water. Kids jump off it, tombstoning into the river below.â
All six of us in the Jeep stiffened. A river rescue made this infinitely more complicated. Pelvic or spinal injuries were common, which meant a helicopter out with a vacuum stretcher. All procedures Iâd witnessed in the past, though never as the lead member of the service.
But that wasnât the only source of my discomfort.
I exchanged a glance with Max. From his position in the front passenger seat, his gaze met mine. Weâd been the idiot kids doing exactly that in the spring. My idea of going out with him again when I just needed a therapist, a run, sex, or whatever now seemed a stupid idea.
The swim in the loch with Elise had been a far better way of relieving stress. The moment alone with her in the bothyâthough ruined by the pressâhad been better still.
With a rapid communication to the team in the other car, I thanked my lucky stars we hadnât been harmed and pushed the thoughts away.
With night falling fast, we rendezvoused at the country pub, setting up a base. Inside, I located the missing personâs friends: two lasses huddled together, various adults gathered around them.
In my inner monologue, Lochieâs instruction guided me.
Family members were often a hazard on rescues. Inexperienced, they were at risk of getting hurt or injured themselves.
I pulled Alasdair aside. âTake the parents and throw a few questions at them. I need to talk to the friends.â
He did as I asked. It had been a strange transition moving from youngster in awe of my big strong uncles to being their team leader on call-outs with the mountain rescue service, but no one questioned me. Iâd stepped up, trained hard, and gained respect as a peer.
I had to nip my wilder instincts in the bud.
At the table in front of me, the two young women peered up, eyes red-rimmed and expressions bleak.
I leaned on the table and tried to gentle my expression. âIâm Cameron, and itâs my job to find your friend today.â
âWhy are ye all in here?â One of the lasses flipped a hand at the door. âItâs dark now. Tamâs out there and lost. He needs help.â
âI need ye to answer me honestly, then weâll get out and find him. Where exactly did ye last see him?â
She threw a glance at her friend, a pale woman with a pixie haircut. âWeâd been swimming in the river just down from Morr bridge. Weâd got out and dried off, but Tam stayed in by himself. I wanted to go and called for him, but he didnât answer. We searched, but heâd vanished.â
âWhat time was this?â
âAbout half seven.â
An hour ago. âWhat was he wearing?â
âOnly his boxer shorts. We left his clothes by the river in case he came back.â
âGive me his full name?â
She glowered. âYe have all this already. We told the police.â
âHumour me.â
âTam Thomson.â
âHow old?â
âEighteen,â she growled.
I switched my gaze to the other woman. âHow do ye know him?â
âFrom school,â she stammered.
âDid ye all swim or just him?â
âAll of us, but it was too cold to stay in.â
âHow many times did he jump off the bridge before ye lost sight of him?â
âIt was the third. Waitâ¦â The lass reddened, and her eyes widened.
Fuck. Alasdair had called it perfectly.
I pushed away, needing to move. âSo Tam jumped from Morr bridge, went under the water, and ye didnât see him again? Is that the full of it?â
Pixie-hair hung her head. âAye.â
My thudding heart raced.
We now knew heâd gone into the water hard and not resurfaced in sight of his friends.
We needed that helicopter. A greater number to our search party.
I had to get alongside that river. Iâd left Ellie in the car while we set up, but right now, we needed to mobilise and she, plus the heli, would be our best bet for rescuing the lost man.
Alive or otherwise.
I thanked the women for their account and strode outside. With haste, we organised into teams, planned our target areas, and left the pubâs grounds. In her harness with flashing lights, Ellie kept tight to my heels, delighted to be out and waiting for her order to search.
The bright lights of the crewâs headlamps and torches lit the riverside path. We found the bridge and Tamâs pile of clothes, right where the women had left it.
I shone a light down at the rushing water, the river full despite the season. Though the mission drove me, I pictured myself jumping like that. I couldnât blame Tam for wanting to have fun.
âHeliâs on its way,â Alasdair reported.
âGrand. Letâs do this.â
In practiced motions, my teams set out. The river branched a half mile downstream, so we divided our resources. In many rescues, Max and I acted as the advanced party, taking the quickest route to the most likely place the casualty would be. In this circumstance, Tam wouldâve almost certainly been swept downriver. It had been over an hour so heâd be stuck, or badly hurt and unable to get himself out.
I didnât dwell on the other scenario: that heâd met a worse fate. That kind of thinking sapped energy.
Now unleashed, Ellie bounded ahead. Max and I jogged, calling for Tam. Behind us, and from the right side of the water, others echoed our yells. A more methodical team would check the weeds alongside the bank, maybe even a boat team later, but we were operating under the assumption that he was alive and therefore we needed to find him fast.
âTam,â Max shouted. âCall out if ye can hear us.â
Our lights sliced over the path and the river.
Again and again, we called, keeping a steady pace over the rough ground.
The river curved then split, breaking me away from half my team. My target zone was ahead. The river narrowed here but deepened, too.
âTam!â I bellowed. âShout out. Weâre here to help ye.â
No answer came. Nothing but the rushing of water and the light wind in the tree-heavy banks.
Ellie barked.
I caught my breath. That was her alert. Max gripped my shoulder, and the two of us closed in on her, taking care on the uneven barely there path. The bank merged with the forest, fallen trees, and washed up logs littering the riverâs edge.
âWhat have ye found?â I asked.
My dog kept up her barking, her nose pointing in the direction she wanted me to see. Max lifted the powerful flashlight heâd been carrying, and I peered into the gloom.
He swept the beam in long lines, and we clambered down to the rocks. Shadows chased over the detritus at the edge of the river.
Then it fell on a white face and a hand, clutching a log.
âGot him,â Max said on a breath.
The manâs eyes were closed, his body hidden in the water.
My pulse raced.
I turned fast to Ellie and ruffled her fur, taking the treat I had stashed in my pocket as her reward. The game for her was up, but it had only just started for us.
âTam Thomson.â I stepped into the shallows, the water rushing over my boots. Ten feet of river lay between me and him, my footing unstable. âTam, can ye hear me?â
âAye,â came a small crackle of a reply.
Thank fuck.
Alive.
âReport this in. Keep the light on him,â I ordered Max.
He made the call, and I waded in deeper. The current tugged at my legs, cold water filling my clothes. I hesitated, considering my own safety. If I could reach Tam without a rope, getting him out would be easier.
Then again, he hadnât managed it himself.
âIâm Cameron. Youâre going to be fine. Talk to me. Are ye in any pain?â
âMy hip hurts. I cannae use my leg,â Tam managed. Pain laced his voice.
âIs that from your jump into the water?â
âAye. I passed out, I think.â
Christ, he was lucky he hadnât drowned.
âHow good is your grip on that log?â
âNaw sure. Get me out.â
âHeliâs incoming in ten,â Max called. âFull medical evac, aye?â
Heâd heard Tamâs words then read my mind. The likely scenario was that Tam had damaged his pelvis, or worse, his spine. Moving him from the cold water introduced the risk of injuring him further.
âWe need more people here, and the heliâll need somewhere to land,â I replied and turned back to Tam. âYouâre going to be just fine,â I repeated.
âIâm so tired,â he moaned.
Time pressed into me. This was going to be tricky.
âHere,â called more of my team, arriving at the bank with heavy rucksacks of equipment. Maddock and Alasdair with Lennox and Brodie.
Theyâd look to me to command this, and I had to make my choices fast.
For a moment, I let the fear of fucking this up wash through me. Iâd rolled people off the hill countless times on a stretcher but never plucked a person from the water.
If I made an error, either in practice or judgementâ¦
No. That wasnât going to happen. I had experienced people here and enough strength to save this man.
The fear passed, and I refocused. âMaddock, I need ye in the water with me. Max, ye, too. Alasdair, get that heli down as close as ye can. Lennox, Brodie, be ready with the stretcher.â
Bringing equipment, the first two men joined me, wading in knee-deep without hesitation. In the past couple of months, Maddock had taken a number of advanced training courses with me. Max was my rapid responder, and I trusted his strength. Both twins would work together in the moment.
Lochie tended to separate them. As his brothers-in-law, he wanted to keep the peace. Now wasnât the time for their spat.
In quick sentences, I talked through my plan. We had to stabilise Tamâs position with a spinal board, bind him in the sheet then get him onto the mattress. Once out of the water, it was plain sailing. Weâd inflate the mattress and carry him to the heli that chopped the air overhead, lowering by the second.
But there was nothing so nerve-racking as holding someone elseâs life in your hands.
âTam, keep talking to me. Weâre going to get ye out.â
He gave a grunt of a reply, weaker now.
I had to get behind him before he let go.
Maddock held the board, and the three of us moved closer, our headlamps cutting into the murky water. Branches tangled under the surface, piled up by the current and littering our way.
âThat logâs an issue.â Under his helmet, Maddock frowned at the thick branch Tam clung to. âIf we try and pull him over it, itâll twist him. Canât go around it either, itâs too cluttered.â
âWhat are ye thinking?â
âGet him secured then move the log away. We can guide him closer to shore.â
âMax, do ye agree?â
My friendâs mouth fixed in a flat line, his expression hard, but he nodded once at Maddockâs suggestion.
We eased in waist-deep, and I stepped over the log barrier and edged around Tam. River water filled my jumpsuit, but the chill barely touched me, the weak state of the man weâd come to save driving adrenaline into my blood.
âIâm going to support your head and take your weight. When I say, let go of the log.â
Tam fluttered his eyelids but couldnât reply.
With care, I reached under him and slid my hands under his neck, fingers wide on both sides until I supported his head with my forearms.
The current tugged at me. I locked my muscles to hold still.
Max took position at Tamâs shoulder, providing support.
âTam, weâve got ye. Let go. Maddock, careful as ye can, get the log away.â
Tam obeyed, either by hearing me or because his strength failed. Max and I floated him away, keeping his position.
Maddock tugged at the weighty branch, strain obvious across his features. âFuck, this is a heavy bastard. Back up a couple of feet. Thereâs more underwater. I dinna want to swipe ye as I raise it.â
We did, and I swapped glances at Tamâs pale face with the sight of Maddock hauling the huge half-tree aside. Brodie and Lennox splashed in to help, but, with a roar, Maddock hefted the log out of our path.
The way was clear.
Someone handed a collar to secure a now unconscious Tamâs neck.
The spinal board and sheet were applied.
We lifted him to the waiting stretcher.
âGot him. We fucking did it.â Maddock stood straight, dripping but happy as hell. âIâll go in the heli. I want to see that side of it.â
âAye, man, go.â I sat on my arse on the gravel, relief hitting me in a wave.
From the helicopter, a highly experienced medic waited. Sheâd take it from here. Tam was still breathing. I only hoped his injuries werenât too great.
My teams moved around me, relief and joy in their conversation. Equipment returned to backpacks, and the party waiting at the pub had their report. His family and friends knew he was alive.
I should be buoyant. My fears removed. Weâd done it. Saved the man weâd come here to find. On my watch, too.
So why did I only feel worse?
At Castle Braithar, Gordain ushered me inside and, upstairs, I took a hot shower then changed. I should be exhausted, but I only needed more. Of what, I had no clue.
When I emerged, he had his grandson on his shoulder and a meal waiting for me.
âI texted your da and told him what ye did tonight,â he informed me, his voice low so as not to startle the bairn.
My parents were away for a couple of weeks on a job.
âBetter to have done that after the fact when they wouldnât worry,â I answered.
âAye, I waited until ye were heading back.â
We sat at the dining room table, Gordainâs laptop open with all manner of plans onscreen.
My uncle lifted Baby G to a more comfortable position and considered me. âIn a couple of days, we leave for the States. Leo has two days of festival gigs back to back followed by interviews and promotion shite. Viola and this little man are going, too. Come with us.â
I stalled in my mouthful.
Gordain continued. âYe told me no last time I asked, but I need another person Iâd trust with Leoâs life. Trust with my daughter and this bairnâs life. Youâve been training in the exact skill set I need. The pay is excellent, and what will ye be doing here? Lochie will be home tomorrow. Take some time out and broaden your horizons.â
In my job on the land, Iâd worked solidly through summer. No matter my reasons for staying close to home, I was due a break.
More, it could help the demons in my head that wouldnât let me settle.
Except⦠âYe know why Iâll always live on the estate.â
âThis is for a week, tops. Iâm naw asking ye to abandon your family, or take risks I wouldnât take myself. What did ye do tonight?â He changed tack.
âMy job.â
âMore. Ye took charge of an entire rescue serviceâa job ye told me ye were too young to do. Ye have no idea of your capabilities.â
I shrugged, my cheeks warm.
âMax is coming,â Gordain added. âI asked him earlier and he agreed. Say yes.â
I had no choice.
Staying here, Iâd go mad. But going there⦠Elise was booked in to perform with Leo. Neither had cancelled, though Leo had given her the option.
This time would be different. I wouldnât be there for her. Sheâd come and go, and weâd barely see each other.
I wouldnât get burned.
Slowly I inclined my head. âIâll do it,â I agreed.
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