Chapter 229: Old people and health scams!

Translator: imperfectluck Editor: Kurisu

When Zhang Fan saw this, he didn’t touch it. Instead, he told Old Yu, “Sir, try to use some strength and see if you can retract it back inside of you.” Old Yu did his best to use some strength upon hearing this. Zhang Fan could see the muscles around his anus contracting visibly. The portion of the rectum which dangled outside slowly retracted itself back into his body. Old Yu’s wife covered her mouth when she witnessed such a strange sight. She wanted to laugh, but also felt that it would be inappropriate to do so. Still, the scene she just saw really made her want to laugh!

“Sir, it went back in. Since you’ve taken your pants off already, allow me to give you an examination,” Zhang Fan said as he stepped forward. He was going to give Old Yu a digital rectal exam.

What exactly did a digital rectal exam feel like? To use medical vocabulary, it wouldn’t sound like much. The doctor would wear gloves, apply lubricant, and gently insert their finger into the anus and rectum. That was it. It could be described in just this one sentence.

As for the doctor’s own sensation? That would truly be wondrous. The anus would have significant sphincter strength. The rectum’s internal temperature would also be higher than the skin’s temperature.

When Zhang Fan gently stuck his lubricated finger into Old Yu’s anus, the latter became nervous. This caused Old Yu to reflexively tighten his sphincter muscles.

“Sir, relax. The more nervous you are, the worse it will feel! This will be over soon.”

“Okay!” Although Old Yu agreed, he was unable to relax his muscles. With the sphincter muscles all tensed up, Zhang Fan felt as if his finger was being tightly clenched by an old toothless lady, and as the sphincter muscles retracted, there was even a force sucking Zhang Fan’s finger deeper in! The soft intestinal walls gently caressed Zhang Fan’s finger. He felt that this was strangely comfortable!

Zhang Fan gently retracted his finger. He then used his other hand that hadn’t entered the anus to pat Old Yu on the waist. “Alright, sir, you can slowly get up and put on your pants now.”

Zhang Fan threw away the glove, washed his hands, and sat down to wait for Old Yu to finish putting on his pants. “Sir, it looks like your current condition can still be treated by a conservative method. If that still doesn’t work, surgery will be required.”

“I won’t do any surgery!” Old Yu didn’t even understand what a conservative method was referring to, but he instantly glared and refused any thought of surgery.

“Let the doctor finish speaking first! Why are you in such a rush!” Old Yu’s wife pushed her own husband.

“Do you often have constipation?” Zhang Fan inquired while beginning to write the medical report.

“Yeah. I’ve often had constipation since I was young. Sigh, sometimes I have to stay on the toilet for more than half an hour. My legs always go so numb that I can’t even stand.”

“Have you ever had treatment for your constipation?”

“Why would I go see a doctor just for some constipation? Never!”

“Sir, your current condition is likely related to your constipation. The fact that you’re constantly constipated means that you will have abnormal abdominal pressure which has caused your rectum to prolapse. Let me prescribe you some medication to treat constipation. Try taking this at home.”

“Even his intestines are coming out. Will taking medicine really be enough? If not, just go ahead with the surgery. It’s really scary how his intestines are falling out with a single sneeze or cough!” Old Yu’s wife exclaimed rather worriedly.

“If you want a surgery, then you have one done on yourself. I refuse to get a surgery!” Old Yu glared angrily. He couldn’t see for himself what was happening, so he didn’t think that it was a big deal. However, his wife had seen for herself just what rectal prolapse looked like.

“There’s no rush. First try the constipation medicine. If it’s ineffective, then we can talk about surgery.” Zhang Fan chuckled. He felt that the old patient was just like a young child in some ways.

People shouldn’t laugh at rectal prolapse. Back when people ate more coarser grains and performed more physical work, rectal prolapse was far rarer as it was usually caused by too much physical pressure on the anus. But, just look at how people were today in the current age.

It might be common for someone to smoke a cigarette and play on their cell phone while in the bathroom in the morning for quite a long while, especially if it was the weekend. Maybe this would feel really comfortable, but this was actually quite damaging to the anus. Doing this for long periods of time would often cause hemorrhoids and rectal prolapse. If you needed to poop, it would be best for you to simply finish within three to five minutes.

The increase in finer grains in our diet was also an important factor in causing constipation. It would be important for our health to continue eating an appropriate amount of coarser grains. Fiber was something that most people should understand was important already.

Zhang Fan finished the examination and medical report. Old Yu seemed all hesitant as he held on to his copy of the medical report.

“What’s the matter, sir? Please feel free to tell me,” Zhang Fan asked as he saw Old Yu’s expression.

“Um, Doctor Zhang, please don’t tell your father-in-law about this matter. Otherwise, I won’t be able to face him!”

“Okay, okay, okay, rest assured. I’ll definitely keep this a secret.”

Old Yu and his wife finally left. Zhang Fan and the nurse couldn’t help but finally break out into laughter.

For Zhang Fan’s morning outpatient services for proctology, the majority of patients had hemorrhoids. Most of the patients were similar in that they were in jobs that required either long periods of sitting or long periods of standing, such as driver, teacher, government employee, and so on. Some patients had only come because they were in significant pain, while others had come because they had noticed fecal bleeding. Zhang Fan received several patients this morning who required surgery.

When Zhang Fan returned to the proctology department, he checked the situation with accepting patients for surgery. The overall situation was alright. The proctologists were fairly cooperative in going about their jobs as they should.

Shao Hua had prepared everything necessary for her and Jingshu’s trip to Thailand already. Zhang Fan was still really worried, but he asked several friends who had visited Thailand before, and they all told him that it would be quite safe when traveling there through a travel agency.

“How many days are you going to Thailand for?” Zhang Fan asked as he watched the two women pack their things.

“10 days. What, do you want to come along as well?” Shao Hua inquired as she continued to pack.

Zhang Fan only pouted and didn’t respond. “Did you already finish preparing everything? Do you still need to buy anything?”

“This is just seasonal clothing. There’s not much else to pack and take along. Hurry and get out of my room. You’re in the way!”

Zhang Fan felt rather helpless about all this. He couldn’t do anything about Shao Hua taking his younger sister out to see the world, even though he couldn’t rest assured. It was his own fault for being a countryside hick who had never seen the world.

Zhang Fan’s parents were currently on their own trip in Beijing, having booked it through a very cheap travel agency. Zhang Fan’s parents immediately regretted coming on this trip on the very second day. Winter wasn’t peak vacation season in Beijing. The weather wasn’t very pleasant, and the smog was severe.

The worst problem was with the food. The travel agency had promised that the fee would cover all food and hotel expenses. However, the hotel they stayed at was tiny and moldy. That wasn’t even the worst problem. Shao Hua’s parents were really starving after just two days of eating the three meals offered here. Zhang Fan’s mother, who didn’t have a big appetite to begin with, now found herself starving as well.

It wasn’t that the food was bad. It was that there wasn’t enough food offered to everyone. 10 people would be seated at a single table. Although everyone in the tour group was elderly, there was still a large number of them. There was plenty of rice for everyone, but the rice was the cheapest and coarsest kind. There were also only four dishes per table, even though there were 10 seated at each table. The dishes also weren’t very large. The dishes were fried potato strips, boiled cabbage, fried tomatoes and eggs, and pickled vegetables and meat. The meat was only a tiny amount of ground meat that could barely be found.

The group of elderly people would follow the tour guide and walk for more than 10 kilometers each day. This was a large amount of exercise for them, plus they were barely getting enough food. After just two days, everyone was starving. The four dishes would disappear almost instantly. They would even finish all of the coarse rice every time.

It was common for elderly people not to be willing to spend money, especially if they were only of average financial means. As Zhang Fan’s parents lay down on the hard wood bed in the tiny hotel, Zhang Fan’s father complained, “Sigh! This is torture! Right now, all I can think about every day is meat, fatty barbequed meat, and stewed meatballs!”

“How about we go out and eat something by ourselves? Just look at you, you’re drooling. Hurry and wipe it,” Zhang Fan’s mother told him. She had eaten three entire bowls of nothing but plain coarse rice at the last meal.

“Forget it. We can just put up with this for a few more days. After we return home, we’ll have a major feast for three days! I’m never going out on vacation again. What type of vacation is this? This is nothing but torture!”

Over the seven-day Beijing vacation trip, the travel agency brought the group of elderly people to visit the Great Wall, Fragrant Hills Park, Tiananmen Square, and all of the proper tourist spots in Beijing. The travel agency intentionally made it so that the elderly group all received a great deal of exercise. The elderly people were all really fatigued each night when they returned to the hotel.

On the second to last day, the travel agency finally revealed their ultimate move and goal. The female tour guide brought out a waistband that supposedly could cure all your illnesses and improve your constitution. She spoke quite eloquently as she successfully scammed this elderly group. Most importantly of all, this waistband could improve your appetite and increase your lifespan! It would be excellent to use it for both yourself as well as gift it to friends and family!

“This waistband is excellent at relieving everyone’s fatigue and improving your appetite. All of you will receive a waistband to use for one day for free. We’ll be taking the waistbands back afterwards. Since our time together is almost over, the president of the waistband company is going to treat everyone to a meal and shower.”

This meal was much better than the meals before. At the very least, there was some meat present at the meal. After the meal was over, the travel agency personnel also had the elderly group experience the culture of Beijing with a communal bath!

On the next morning, the female tour guide began to scam talk the elderly group again. She kept saying how their fatigue had to be gone, how the food had to have tasted so delicious, and so on all due to the waistband. People would easily go along with the crowd, especially older people. They all started spending their money that they wouldn’t easily part with just for the sake of eating some better food. They all purchased these waistbands, which cost 3,300 yuan apiece!

Almost all of the elderly people in this tour group purchased a waistband. There was a mysterious atmosphere present. It was as if anyone who didn’t purchase one would be in the wrong. The travel agency personnel were truly skilled at creating such an atmosphere!

Zhang Fan’s mother also purchased a waistband. She was unwilling to spend so much money to buy two, as she figured that she and her husband could share one!n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

Sigh! It really would be easy for the elderly to fall victim to scams, so please watch out!