14

AFTER THE THIRD cup of ice cream, Lila shakes her head.

"Nope, no more. I can't do it," she shoves the cup of ice cream away, glaring at me. "It tastes like cement."

I blink, "Cement? God, I feel sorry for you," I scoop the last of the cookie dough ice cream out of the cup and shovel it into my mouth, groaning in ecstasy.

"Can't help that my taste buds are superior," Lila hums, gathering the used spoons and cups into a pile.

"You clearly don't know the meaning of superior if that's your usage of it," I retort, snorting slightly.

She glances away for a moment, and begins to carry our stuff to the trash. I inhale sharply, cringing when I remember yesterday.

That was a train wreck. And I'm only lucky that Lila hasn't said anything about it. Yet.

I know this pattern by now though, it's only a matter of time.

I hope she continues not to, though. I don't want to drag her into my messes, if I can help it. There are already too many people involved, carrying around some of my weight. Weight that I should be carrying alone. No one else.

So even if my life depends on it, I will not let Lila carry any of that weight. No matter how heavy.

I sigh, watching as she returns to our table, clearing my thoughts away.

I realize that the second half of school would begin in about five minutes, I don't know if Lila knows of this or not. I know for a fact the girl is obsessed with her track record. And I also know that she does everything in her power to make sure it's perfect (minus her almost daily arguments with Mr. Wilson).

I must admit, that's the only thing I look forward to in that class. She always has some sort of comeback ready, to fire at will.

I'm surprised Mr. Wilson hasn't failed her out of spite.

I lean forward in my seat and say, "You ready to head back?"

For a moment, she hesitates, and my brows dip down, waiting for her response. "Yeah," she sighs. "Let's go."

Whatever else she had been about to say, I'll never know. I wave goodbye to Marcus, the owner of this small ice cream parlor. Also the guy that lets me have two cups of ice cream for free each time I come here. Grace always enjoys that.

I feel the rain droplets hit the crown of my head, dampening my hair. Lila looks skeptically around and I quickly shrug my jacket off, tossing it to her.

"Use that," I whisper.

She looks down at it for a moment, "Thanks," she murmurs, then, "But remind me to give it back. I still have your jersey too."

I shake my head as we round the corner to my car. "Keep the jersey. That one's old anyway."

She looks thoughtful for a moment, opening the passenger door before pausing. "What would I do with your jersey?"

What would she do with my jersey? The last time she was on that field I had the idiocy to throw the ball directly at her face—which I can't forget due to the bruise still on her face—so there isn't really a reason for her to keep it.

Except..."Still. You should keep it."

"Only because you offered so nicely," she shoots me a small smile and climbs into the car, leaving me to admire the fact that she hadn't tried to hide it.

After school, Lucas tosses my water bottle to me, snickering at something Blake has said.

Michigan is surprising us all with its heat today, proof of that being the sweat beading along my eyebrows.

I promised Blake and Lucas that I would practice with them after school, but I'm already regretting that decision only thirty minutes into our training.

I set my water bottle down, standing up from my spot on the grassy field. "Where are you going?"

I wipe at my eyes, looking at Lucas. Thankfully, I have a valid excuse for leaving early. "I need to pick up Gracie," I answer shortly. I don't like talking about my schedule with them, they always repeat the same exact things.

You deserve a life too.

You shouldn't be doing all this on your own.

You're going to snap one day.

That last one being from Lucas, of course. At least when Blake lectures me he has the decency to sugar coat it.

"Already? Damn. Who knew daycare was so needy," he whistled, pouring the rest of his water bottle over his head.

It reminds me of his house, the night we watched The Conjuring in his living room. How good it felt to just relax and hang out with people I could call my friends. Even when the whole dumping liquids fiasco happened.

But I shake my thoughts away, gathering my gear and rolling my eyes when I see Lucas trying to empty the last drop of water from his bottle.

Blake claps me on the back and gives me a reassuring smile, "Don't worry, I'll watch after this one," he jerks his head in Lucas' direction, though Lucas doesn't even seem to notice.

"Good, someone has to," I mutter. "I'll see you guys tomorrow!" I wave goodbye to them both, exiting the field and practically racing to my car. I made a promise to Lillian. And I need to keep my promise.

I swing my keys between my fingers, about to unlock my car when I see a familiar face sitting on the curb.

"Matthews?" I ask, tilting my head—and sure enough, her long brown hair swings around and her eyes land on me.

"The one and only," she mutters, scuffing her beat up converse against the pavement.

"What are you doing out here?" I ask, changing direction and walking towards her.

"I could ask you the same question," she huffs.

"I asked first."

She rolls her eyes, "Sometimes after school I swing by the library to help organize shelves," she shrugs. "I forgot to tell my mom to pick me up, and she's stuck at work."

My nod my head in understanding. "I could drop you off, if you want?"

She looks up at me, silent for a moment, before saying, "You don't have to. Don't want you thinking I'm only using you for your car."

My brows rise, "Only?"

"Well, that and your driving skills," she says, repeating my words back to me. My lips twitch into a threatening smile.

"I'm glad you think my driving skills are worth using," I smirk. I pause for a moment, pointing to my car with my thumb. "I have to pick up my sister, Grace, but I'll drop you off right after. If that's okay..." I trailed off, waiting for her response.

She nods her head, chewing on her lip, "I'll just let my mom know," she pauses for moment, then says, "I'm kind of scared for when I have to pay you back for all these car drives."

I place my hand into my pocket, shooting her a glance. "You don't owe me anything at all, Matthews."

"I'm actually shocked," Lillian laughs. Or maybe wheezes. Possibly both. "You actually made it on time."

"I promised I would," I remind her, helping Grace into the car. "You would think so low of me?"

Lila watches curiously from the front seat, though she hasn't said a word since we've gotten here. I'm trying my hardest to make this the most natural thing ever, and it was going great until Lillian started muttering about how I'm usually late.

I try not to look over at Lila's reaction of that. Would she think I'm a bad brother?

Lillian rolls her eyes, "Oh don't give me that," she grumbles, and I fight off a laugh, also trying to shake my thoughts away. "Take care, hun."

"You too," I holler at her, climbing into the car. I turn to look back at Grace, who has her attention on Lila, and I muster up my best grin. "Alright, Gracie. Hit me."

Grace looks confused for a moment before she leans away from her seat and slaps my arm. My brows draw in, "I didn't mean literally," I mutter.

Lila breathes out a laugh, twisting in her seat to get a better view.

She shrugs, "How was I supposed to know that?"

I guess she's right. "Alright—let's try that again. Give me a question," I amend.

She grins at me, "Can we get ice cream?"

I tap my chin thoughtfully, "Mm, no. New question—make it interesting for our guest here," I gesture to Lila and Grace's grin widens.

"Alrighty," she hums. "What's your name?" she says, her attention towards her.

That was not what I meant by interesting, but I don't think Lila seems to mind. In fact, her lips tilt upward into a ghost of a smile.

"Lila. And I'm assuming you're Grace?"

I'd never told her about Grace until today, and part of me is oddly guilty of that. I have my reasons for keeping my family under wraps, reasons I can't really risk sharing, but Lila has already seen half of it, and I'm dying to know what she's thinking about it all.

But I'm also dying with the fact that she knows anything at all. I want to trust Lila. More than I've ever wanted to trust anyone, but will she feel the same after seeing how fucked up my family is?

How fucked up I am?

Grace suddenly nods enthusiastically and then takes on an eager expression. "Okay, okay. This is a big one! Did you know that those itty bitty—" she presses her thumb and pointer finger together, "—hamsters eat their babies?"

I make a turn, a brow raised high. Lila only nods along. "I did know that actually, but did you know snakes eat them too?"

Grace's nose crinkles, and she makes a disgusted sound. "But they're so slimy!"

"I know right?"

Grace laughs then, and begins to hum under heat breath, something that's become a habit over the years. "Do they just—swallow them up?"

"Yup," Lila confirms. "In one go."

An image of that flashes into my mind and I clear my throat. "Alright that's enough of that."

Grace giggles softly in the back seat and Lila turns to me, "Can't handle a little filial cannibalism?"

"I'm trying to decipher if that's a joke or not," I say honestly, though with the mischievous glint in her eyes, I think I already know my answer. "I didn't peg you as some National Geographic obsessed nerd."

"No? Then which nerd am I?" She inquires, looking at me expectedly.

"The regular kind. You even carry your textbooks with you everywhere," I say pointedly.

Lila opens her mouth to retort with something, I'm sure, but her phone buzzes and she looks down at it, quickly clearing her throat before shoving it away completely.

I wonder if I should ask about it, but quickly shut down the thought.

It's none of my business, I remind myself.

The familiarity of her neighborhood comes into view, and I slow the car to a stop just by her purple fence.

She unbuckles her seatbelt, "Thank you—again," Lila says almost embarrassedly, reaching under her seat for moment before pulling out my jacket.

She hands it to me, a sheepish look on her face. "Thanks for this too."

I grin at her odd show of vulnerability, "Anytime, Matthews."

She grabs her backpack and casts a quick look in Grace's direction. "It was nice meeting you Grace," she smiles softly at her before climbing out of the car and shutting the door.

I don't leave her driveway till she's closed the door to her house. Once I exit her neighborhood, Grace hums thoughtfully.

"So," Grace starts. "Is she your girlfriend?" She teases, smiling at me through the rear view mirror.

I shake my head, "Something like that." Though that doesn't quite cover whatever the hell our little agreement is.

Grace hums again, "I like her."

Something snags in my chest, something almost like—relief? That can't be right. But still, it's there, a little ball of nervous pattering right in my chest.

And I don't think it's going anywhere.