10

I'VE YAWNED ABOUT five times in the last hour.

I'm trying really hard not to make it obvious how bored I am right now, but I think Lila can tell by the sixth yawn of the hour.

She slams the textbook close and twists in her chair to face me, "You could at least pretend you're listening," she mutters, narrowing her eyes.

I place my chin into the palm of my hand and stare up at her. Her brown hair is pulled back into a low bun at the nape of her neck, only a few strands framing her face. For some odd reason, I want to touch a stray piece.

I remember Saturday night, when it had been down and flowing freely. She looked like an actual teenager at Jack Hyde's party. Lemonade spill and all.

Now she looks every bit the uptight person she is.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but history is very boring," I drawl, yawning for a seventh time. This yawn isn't due to boredom, though. This one is lack of sleep.

I had a four hour practice yesterday, then I had to pick up Grace—my little sister—from her friends' house which was an hour away, and after that I got approximately two hours of sleep. It's safe to say I'm exhausted.

She sighs, placing the textbook in front of me. "You look like a truck ran you over this morning," she says, tilting her head.

"Wow. You really know the words to make me blush," I say flatly. She smiles a little, copying my position and placing her own chin into the palm of her hand.

"Is it the quiet? Do you want to go somewhere else?" she suggests, an earnest look in her eyes.

When she had asked to meet in the library after school today, I knew I was setting myself up for failure. I don't dwell in the silence of this place—or the silence of any place, for that matter—which is why I'm hardly ever here. But I didn't want to turn her down, so I agreed.

Bad mistake on my part.

I shake my head, "No, I have to be somewhere in a little," it's not a complete lie. I do have to be somewhere, just not for a while.

"Fine," she says. "But can you try and follow along for the next twenty minutes at least?" She challenges and I nod.

It's not like I have much of a choice.

"Only if you say please," I taunt, watching her eyes roll again. "I know it's not in your vocabulary but—"

"Shut up." she smacks me with her pencil and points it down to the open page, beckoning me to read.

My eyes squint as I take in each word, glancing up at Lila a couple of times to see her scribbling away in her own notebook.

I forget all about the passage I'm supposed to be reading up until she catches me staring at her and groans in frustration.

"Oops?" I offer, wincing as she slams her notebook closed.

"You know, when you asked me to tutor you—I thought there would be more studying and less staring."

I scoff, "Why have that when you can have both?"

Apparently that's the wrong thing to say because her eyes narrow further and she closes my textbook too.

"You're wasting my time, Rhodes," she informs me. "I have a college essay I could be doing right now."

My brows raise and I make a gesture with my hand. "No one's stopping you."

"Would you stop being a smart-ass? It's pissing me off."

"That's the goal, Matthews."

She ignores this and continues on. "Instead of doing said college essay I'm here in a library wasting away yet another hour only for you to be doing nothing."

I'm genuinely offended by this.

My lips form a harsh frown. "It isn't like I'm not trying. History is possibly the worst subject to exist but I still want to pass so I got a tutor. But now I'm thinking that maybe wasn't such a good idea."

My words are harsh—I know—and definitely not worth the small satisfaction when I see Lila flinch back.

I run a hand through my hair, "I have places to be—we'll meet up another time."

She doesn't answer, just keeps her firm glare on me as I pack up my things.

I wonder briefly if I went too far—but my pride won't let me ask. I bite down on my tongue and walk past her, though I can feel her gaze on me until I'm out of the library.

I debate going back, maybe even apologizing, but by the time I reach my car—I realize I really do have places to be.

I was supposed to pick up Grace twenty minutes ago.

I check the time on my phone and curse, Lilian will have been expecting me by now.

I jump into my car, not looking back, and speed to the main road, swearing the entire time.

Grace's daycare isn't too far from here, but I know Lilian is sick of having to watch her later than she should have to.

I know I would be.

After a while, I make a turn and see the building on my right, driving into the parking lot and swiftly stopping the car before hopping out.

I'm practically sprinting to the door when I see Lilian and Grace sitting on the curb, chatting softly to each other.

I rub the back of my neck, taking hesitant steps toward them.

Grace sees me first, a smile taking over her face as she shoots from her spot and races to me.

She throws her arms around my waist and I tug her closer before looking at Lilian who has an unimpressed look on her face.

"Twenty minutes, Chase. Twenty minutes," she says, disappointment in her eyes.

I bow my head, shaking it slightly. "I know—and I'm so sorry, I really am. I lost track of time. It wont happen again. I swear," lies, lies, and more lies.

We both know it will. Especially if I don't get my shit together soon.

She releases a breath, her braided hair swinging to the back and shakes her head. "This is your last chance, hun. You promise me it won't happen again?"

I nod my head vigorously. "Promise," I breathe.

She nods, closing her eyes. "Take her home, Chase."

She rubs my arm encouragingly before walking past me and to her car. I look down at Grace and frown.

"I'm sorry, Gracie," I say, hoping I can convey how much I mean it.

She shrugs, hiking her backpack up higher. "I like Ms. Lilian," she assures me, then she says, "Can we get ice cream?"

I give her a look. "Nice try."

I open the car door for her, and she slides in, buckling her seatbelt before I close the door. It's our little routine. She knows I won't start the car unless she has it on.

"Is Maya home already?" She asks, and I glance at her from the rear view mirror.

I nod my head, Maya goes to a public school not too far from where we live. The bus usually drops her off before I'm even out of school.

Grace is quiet for a moment. "What about...Marley?" she's hesitant when she asks, and I wish she didn't have to be.

But with the way I tense up at my mother's name, I know she only does it for my sake.

I swallow, shaking my head. "She won't be home till tomorrow."

If that's even true. Marley lives on her own terms and doesn't care about anything or anyone else, for that matter.

Not unless she needs money.

Grace hums, drumming her fingers on the seat. "Do you think whales really have a million babies?"

My brows furrow at the question because—what? But I just shake my head, going along with it. "That's a lot of babies, don't you think?"

She shrugs, "I heard a lady once had twenty kids."

I don't know where she gets this information from. It's definitely not from Maya—she doesn't have the kind of imagination Grace does.

I swear this girl asks the weirdest questions.

"That's...interesting?" I offer, watching as she smiles pleasantly.

"Imagine how many times they had to cut open her stomach!" She exclaims.

I guess child birth isn't in her imagination quite yet.

"That's a least a bazillion time, Chase! She probably has a huge scar," she rattles on as I make a right into our neighborhood.

Our neighborhood is nice. Nothing fancy, of course, but it's homey. I've grown up here so I definitely don't know much else.

Our red-bricked house comes into view, and I park the car. It's as dead as the bushes on our lawn. I'm pretty sure if it weren't for my car, people would think this place was deserted.

I slip out of the car, rounding it to open Grace's door and begin to pace up the steps, Grace trailing behind me.

She hands me the key from her backpack and I unlock the door, welcoming the familiar quiet of the house.

The banister is slowly chipping of its color—and I keep telling myself I'll repaint it soon. But it's been months and I haven't touched it.

I'm afraid if I do, this house will look more like a home. Something it's never been for me.

Maya enters the living room with her headphones on. She glances at us, but doesn't say anything.

I'm pretty used to it by now. It's been months since I've had a conversation with her where she didn't answer in one-word sentences.

She's mad. For good reason, I have to say. But sometimes it's overwhelming, and I think I've subconsciously given up on trying to make her less angry at me.

I throw myself onto the couch, barely listening as Grace asks what's for dinner.

I throw an arm over my eyes, trying to absorb what's happened today when my phone buzzes.

I ignore it at first, thinking it's Lucas inviting me to a party I can't attend. But then it buzzes again and I reach for it in frustration.

Unknown: We can meet at your place next time.

Unknown: I'll even have a movie to distract yourself with.

My brows furrow, about to ask who this is and where they got my number, but then another message rolls in: Make sure to bring the less smart-ass Chase.

I snort, shaking my head slightly.

Me: How'd you get my number, Matthews?

Unknown: How'd you know it was me?

I smirk. Only one person would use smart-ass and Chase in the same sentence.

She doesn't answer for a moment, and I nod along to whatever Grace is rambling about, my mind fully distracted. My phone dings finally and I gaze down at it.

Unknown: And only one person deserves it.

Despite myself, and this day, and our stupid argument, I smile.