At that moment, deep down, I knew that Go Yohan would take my side. I was absolutely certain of it. And yet, once again, I found myself bitterly realizing why I had come to like Go Yohan in the first place.
As I turned my head, I heard the chair behind me scrape loudly against the floor. The door hadnât been closed. Typical of Go Yohan. He stood by the back door for a long time before slowly walking over and taking his seat. In the midst of this suffocating silence. Of all times? I felt like I was about to suffocate.
"â¦â¦."
For some reason, the sandwich in my left hand felt like it was burning. The only people in the classroom were me, Shin Jaehyun, and Go Yohan. A nauseating silence filled the air. I stared at my sandwich for a moment before taking a big bite. Crunch. The egg mashed between my teeth.
Without a word, Shin Jaehyun stood up and closed the back door that Go Yohan had left open. Click. The sound of the door shutting echoed through the room. And in that moment, the wind whispered to me.
Remember, Kang Jun. May isnât over yet.
****
On my way home after school, I found out my shoes had been stolen.
Iâd heard that stuff like this happened from time to time at a school where even some dirt-poor kids were mixed in, but it was my first time experiencing it firsthand. It wasnât like I had any real attachment to those shoes, so I wasnât heartbroken. Just irritated. I quietly shut my locker and looked down at my indoor slippers.
"Guess Iâll just have to wear these home today."
Great. Now Iâd have to walk around broadcasting to everyone that my shoes had been stolen. Fuck.
The only comfort I had was the saying that people donât pay as much attention to othersâ appearances as youâd think. Please, let that be true. Let them not notice. And the bastard who stole themâIâm going to fucking kill him.
"Stealing my shoes now, of all times?"
This was deliberate. So now that Iâm in this state, they think they can just walk all over me?
Maybe I was being paranoid, but considering everything that had been happening to me lately, it would be more surprising if I wasnât thinking like this. This wasnât just in my head. One of my notebooks had gone missing. Once, when I came back from the bathroom, I found my eraser and mechanical pencil rolling on the floor. And just earlier, my desk had been pushed out of place, as if someone had bumped into it. I could already picture what had happened. Someone must have hit my desk while messing around, knocking my pencil case to the floor, and yet no one had bothered to pick up my stuff.
When I stood there, staring at my deskâisolated in the middle of a loud, indifferent crowd with wet handsâI knew this wasnât just my imagination.
"They change their attitudes like flipping a damn switch. Fucking pricks."
I couldn't help but feel resentful.
Just before midterms, those very same people had been all over me, calling out, Kang Jun, Kang Jun like we were best friends. And now look at them. My anger boiled over, making my steps rough and uneven. Without realizing it, I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.
Then, in that momentâ
"Ah!"@@novelbin@@
A sharp pain shot through the bottom of my foot. It burned. When I lifted my foot to check, I saw my white sock had turned red. Underneath, a shard of green glass glinted. I had been walking in slippers without paying attention to where I was going, and now I was paying for it.
As if I wasnât already pissed off enough. As if I wasnât already going insane from this constant streak of bad luck.
"â¦â¦Fuck."
Nothing ever goes right for me. Why the fuck does nothing ever go right for me? I alwaysâ I always end upâ!
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fucking hell!"
I couldn't hold it in anymore. Fuck. What a goddamn shitty life. Was it only my fault?
If I really thought about it, Go Yohan had wronged me too. He had clearly done things he shouldnât have. So why was I the one being ignored, I the one forced to keep my head down, I the one watching my every step, I the one getting my shoes stolen, I the one stepping on some piece-of-shit glass and bleeding for it? It wasnât just my fault. I was a victim too.
By not holding Go Yohan accountable, I had, in my own way, apologized for my own mistakes. But Go Yohan? He had been selfish from the very start.
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