𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 34

First of all I want to address something important.

Let me be clear! I am not among those writers who write what their audience demands or wants. No, that's not gonna happen here. I always write what I want to regardless of how much dislike or hate I am going to get for that.

Kindly don't leave messages like

we want this or we only want that otherwise it's going to be disappointing, or I am not gonna read this book if that happens. It should be only that and so on...

Just to respectfully remind you this is my book and I am the author, I better know what to do with my characters. If you are reading the book, just trust the author.

Some of you are going to be happy and the end and some are going to be unhappy or disappointed. That's how it works!!!

p.s to know the ending you have to wait for the last chapter obviously

Thank you🫶🏻✨

The earth was moving around the sun and moon around the earth at the same pace. Days were changing into night like usual. The moon and the sun were illuminating the night and day sky respectively.

Everything in the universe was moving but my world had stopped. I couldn't move forward in time. I was standing at the place, where she had left me.

It had been so many days since she left me, two weeks precisely. I have gone to her many times. I have tried to talk to her but she pushed me away every time. Slowly, I was realizing the extent of that I caused to her throughout our marriage.

These two weeks were the hardest days of my life. I was trying to survive alone but it's suffocating. I don't understand how she tolerated my arrogance and ignorance for two long years when I was on my knees in just two weeks.

Mehr is so strong unlike me.

She is strong to tolerate me for so long and now when her patience level crossed it's limit she left me. Now, I am realizing what she had gone through in our messy relationship.

My heart breaks and fills with guilt on the pain and agony I brought to her already messed up life.

Why? Why? Why I chose to be like that!!!

Why I chose to be a man I wasn't. I wasn't the man to hurt another person in the past. I always tried to be considerate to other people then why the hell I went wrong in my own damn life.

Why I chose to remain at a distance from her when she was the only one nearest to me. She was my wife, my other half. She was supposed to be held closer. She deserved the warmth I never provided her. Money and other necessities of life can never replace warmth. I thought I was responsible only for the first two.

Why I never talked to her about what was in my heart. I could never open my heart to her till date. It was always difficult for me to show my emotions and discuss my feelings but I never thought this thing would cost me a lot in later life.

Why I never cherished her. That sweet and innocent woman deserved to be loved only. And I hid my loving self deep in my heart and only showed my worst side to her.

Why I never considered her comfort before getting intimate with her. If she didn't stop my hands, I too never bothered to ask if she even wants it at the moment. I never bothered to communicate with her. And she ended up thinking that I was using her. I remember how painfully she described how much hurt she was on our wedding night when I showed her my back after having her. I hate myself for doing this to her. I made her think that she was nothing but..my bed warmer. I could never think like that. She was always dear to me. I never had bad intentions but still I ended up hurting her every other day.

What the hell did I get out of any of it...

Pain and agony.

I am not happy nor relaxed. I can't stop thinking about her. I can't get out of her mind. I can't stop thinking about the past where I abused her. I didn't want to do that. I never had intensions to hurt her but I fucked up everything. I am solely responsible for her and my misery.

I am breathing, eating and doing work like everyone else that made me alive but inside me I am dead. My heart was still beating but there was no life in it.

I am lost somewhere I couldn't find my own self. There was just one hope in this darkness. Mehr was my ray of light in this utter darkness but with each step she was moving away, leaving me alone in the wilderness.

"Ehan!" My colleague called me and I got out of the trance. I looked at her absentmindedly. He was calling me for some time but I didn't hear him.

"Y-Yeah" I mumbled, watching his face blankly.

"Are you alright?" He asked with concern.

I just nodded at him.

"I don't think you are. In fact some people from the department have shown concern for you. You are being different. I just want you to know that you can share with me anything that's bothering you" He asked me, friendly at the end.

"Thank you" I tried to smile at him but failed miserably.

"If not me then find someone else and pour out what's in your heart. If you don't vent it out, it will keep disturbing you"

He said rightly. What we don't share keeps disturbing us. It happened to me already and I know the consequences but does it matters now. Definitely not!

"Take care!" He told me the matter he wanted to discuss and patted my shoulder before leaving.

After he left, instead of doing my work I rested my head on the back of chair and closed my eyes.

Her beautiful face appeared in front of my closed eyes.

•

"Did Mehr talk to you?" My mother asked on the phone call.

"No. She doesn't receive my calls" I mumbled to her.

"What the hell have you done Ehan! I can't believe you kept hurting her all this time" She asked me angrily.

Uncle Talha called my father and told him what Mehr wanted. Now both the families were involved in our reconciliation but Mehr was adamant to take divorce from me.

"Mama! I didn't know what I was doing" I mumbled after she was done cursing me. I had heard much from my parents in the past two weeks. They were angry and disappeared at what I had done to their dear daughter in law.

"You are a grown man Ehan! Can't you differentiate between what's wrong and right. All my life I tried to raise you as a gentleman and what the hell you have become. I failed as a mother. God knows where I went wrong" She started crying at the end.

Mama was thinking she failed as a mother that somewhere in my upbringing she went wrong. Mehr thinks I wasn't loyal to her. I have failed everyone!

"Mama it's only my fault" I wiped the lone tear rolled down on my cheeks.

"She is so sweet how could you hurt a soul like her. I can't believe you Ehan! I can't believe why I never sensed anything with you two" She kept saying sadly.

"You talked to her?" I asked.

"Yes" She said.

"What did she say?" I asked eagerly.

"That she wants divorce only" She told me worriedly.

I was silenced. Nothing was getting better. She was still holding the same stance.

"I don't think it's going to end well" She said sadly before hanging up.

No please don't say that.

I looked at my phone's screen and realized that she had blocked me that's why my messages weren't received by her. I clenched my hair in my fists. There was no way to contact her.

I drove my car to the way that leads to my hometown. I was going to her house every other day in the hope that she would talk to me. She would get angry at me but at last she would forgive me just like she had always done generously but nothing was same now. She was done with me.

Neither she was the same woman nor I was the same man.

Entering the residence, I straight away walked to the annex which belonged to my wife but it was locked.

I looked around and found a lady standing at the door of the servant quarters.

"Where is Mehr?" I asked her. It was getting late in the night. Where was Mehr at this time.

"She has gone" That woman told me.

"Where?" I asked her, walking near her.

"I don't know" She replied.

"When will she come back. It's getting late" I asked her again.

"Sahab Mehrbano bibi has left this house. She doesn't live here anymore" That woman revealed.

"What does that mean..she was here the other day" I asked her worriedly.

She didn't say anything in reply. She was just a servant she couldn't know much. I rushed into the house to see my father in law.

"Uncle" I called him loudly, entering the living room where he was sitting with his wife. They weren't shocked to see me.

His eyes found me and he shook his head.

"Where is Mehr?" I asked him directly.

"She is your wife. You better know it" He replied to me sternly.

"She is your daughter too and she lives here. You should know where she is" I asked him angrily this time.

"She doesn't live here anymore" He repeated the same words that the lady uttered before.

"Where is she then? Where else could she go?" I don't even know a single place she could go to.

"I don't know. She didn't tell me" He shrugged his shoulders as if it wasn't a big deal for him.

His wife was silently watching us.

"Tell me where is she" I growled.

"She has left my house to never come back. Your wife isn't at my home Ehan nor I know about her whereabouts. She chose not to disclose it" He snapped at me.

I was shocked. My heart was constricting in my chest. Where was my wife? I pressed my hands on my face restlessly.

"You can't be serious. You don't know where she went. She is your daughter for God sakes" I snapped at him.

"I really don't know. Find her on your own. I have no relation with her. You can leave now" He asked me shamelessly.

I looked at his wife in hope but she shook her head negative.

I walked out of the living room with shock and anger. This house was the only safe place for Mehr. How could she leave it. She can't do this to me. She can't runway from me.

"Ehan bhai!" I was trying to call Mehr through the other sim I brought today just to contact her when someone called me.

I turned around. It was a young girl  holding a piece of paper in her hands.

"Mehrbano baji gave it for you. She asked me to give it to you whenever you come" She handed me the paper.

Ehan!

I am leaving this place because it was never mine. Nobody cares where I am going. Neither should you.

There is nothing left between us. There is no point of going through the ashes of a broken bond. It just burn ourselves more. I have experienced it already.

My lawyer will contact you for divorce papers. I hope you won't take a long time to sign them. It's better for us.

Thank you for opening my eyes!

I read the letter she left for me. These words killed my already bruised heart. She was out somewhere away from my reach. She hid herself somewhere to be not found.

She has chosen to leave me.

I have truly lost her.

Mehr has left her father's house. For good or bad, you will get to know.

Next chapter would be last of Ehan's pov. Last and the most important part of the story will start afterwards.

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