Chapter 65

The sky was still spitting in the morning when Abby woke Sarra early, worrying about Justice, oblivious to the fact that the previous night had held a cruel combination of bliss and despair.

How many more people would die before Brandon James was satisfied?

"Mommy," Abby whined. "You aren't even trying."

Sarra glanced up. She looked around at the toys Nancy had delivered to the station for Abby, and her vision misted. Nancy's kindness had saved her own life , and the lives of her children. Apparently Lieutenant Mead hadn't known that.

Abby gave a dramatic huff, and Sarra forced herself back to the racetrack in her hands. A degree in engineering was needed to put this thing together, a second degree in electronics to make it work. Abby had given up about thirty minutes earlier and now was coloring with scented magic markers, while Sarra sat on the floor trying to figure out where the tab should be inserted so wire b13 made contact with the steel rod c17.

"There he is!" Abby cried, charging across the room. Brian appeared, unshaven, with griminess on his face that hadn't been there the day before. A sad smile for Sarra.

"How are you doing, Sweet pea?" He asked Abby catching her in a bear hug so fierce Sarra could almost feel it.

"I am great." Abby replied. "But Mommy is having a bad day."

Brian caught Sarra's eyes.

"It is just like Christmas when Santa brings toys that still have to be put together. Mommy hates that. She says elves are lazy. Right now she can't get the track together or make the cars work."

"I can too." Sarra said. Smothering the pain. "I just haven't finished yet."

Brian sat on the arm on the sofa with Abby on his thigh. "Think I should help her?"

Abby lit up. "Do you know how?"

"Sure. Planes, trains, and automobiles. They are guy things."

Sarra would have argued but for a startling truth, she'd be over joyed to have Brian around to assemble the toys for Abby. And practice T-ball with her, and mow the lawn, and handle dozens of other things Sarra handled alone for 7 years.

She left the race track in Brian's hands, astounded by the direction her thoughts, and went to pour some coffee. She worked so hard not to need anyone, not to want anyone, and she prided herself on her ability to carry her own burdens. But suddenly after sharing both love and grief they'd experienced last night, self reliance seemed highly overrated.

Brian strode in the kitchen and slid his arms around her. "Abby went into the den to play a computer game." he said nuzzling her jaw.

Sarra turned and a hand on his rugged cheek. "Phil___"

"Don't." He said, squeezing her hand. " Not now, he would just want me to stay focused and catch the bastard."

Sarra nodded, knowing what she had to do. "You want to hear about the rape now don't you?"

He tipped his forehead against hers. "No." He said tiredly, "It is the last thing I want to hear. But it might help, if you think you can do it."

The story leaked out. She told Brian everything she could remember, at the first with detachment, then with tears as the details siphoned in. Brian gripped her hand as if he could keep her present, and Sarra told him everything she had refused to let herself remember for 7 years.

___________Authors Note!!! Please Read!!!

The next few paragraph have strong abuse in them so if you do not want to read skip..________

Amy dropped, and Brandon fell to his knees beside her. He looked inside the gym bag on the ground, and in that moment, sheer madness took over. No more taunting and teasing, as he had done with Amy. No more control. Just insane, unbridled rage.

"Nooooo! Bitch!" He stumbled to Sarra. "Look at what you done."

Grit your teeth don't make a sound. That is what he wants.

Smack. Sarra stumbled to the ground, choking on the urge to cry out. The bag hung over his shoulder, and he pulled it up higher, cradling it with one hand. Then he flinched, as if he heard something.

"NOOOO!" He covered his ear, trying to block something out, the other hand holding the gun toward Sarra. "Stop it Bitch." He snarled, but he wasn't talking to Sarra. He looked like a animal with no where to go. "Who killed the cock?" He sang into the air, then growled from his throat. "You did Bitch!"

He shook his head like a dog spraying water, then snatched Sarra's arm and pulled her to her feet. He shoved the gun into her chest. "Don't you hear that? Mother's singing. She does that so she can't hear Christie cry. But she will stop if you scream." He glanced wildly around. "This is just like home. Mother can hear you here. Scream, so she will stop singing."

Sarra twisted from his grasp. She went two strides, but she was wearing heels and stumbled. He grabbed her, baring his teeth, and the gun wheeled into her cheek.

She fell to the ground. Pain flared, tiny chunks of dirt and stone grinding in her open wound. Darkness swirled around her, and everything faded but the white hot shards of pain in her face.

Good. She needed her cheek to hurt. Then maybe she wouldn't feel the ripping between her thighs. Quiet now. Don't make a sound. It is what he wants.

And then finally he was gone.

Sarra Blinked. Brian's face was only inches away, his frown etched in stone. "He just left." she said, puzzled. "He finished and climbed off. He picked up the bag and___" She squinted in confusion__"He was crying, I Think. And just left me there."

Brian brushed her bangs from her forehead. "You weren't doing what he needed you to do. You weren't screaming."

Sarra blinked, feeling oddly calm. "That is all I can remember. Do you know anything more than  we did before?"

"Just it sounds like Brandon hears voices__His mother singing. He wanted your screams to stop her."

"You know whatever was in that bag was precious to him." Sarra said sifting through memories. "No matter what else was happening he always kept it close."

"He took something from your house in a duffel bag. I wonder if it is the same thing." Brian stood pacing."Who killed cock Robin? What was that about?"

"It is what he heard in his mind, I think." Sarra said. "There is a nursery rhyme that starts like that. Who killed Cock Robin? It is one of Abby's books. I remember reading it and thinking it was kinda sick." she pointed at Brian's laptop, and he nodded and brought it to her. She typed in the title. At home she knew where the book was, but certainly she can find it on the Internet. "I think it was a folk song about the death of robin hood and some other famous English man.

Brian bent over her shoulder when the site came up.

"I will be damned there it is.' He said. "Who killed Cock Robin. I, said the sparrow, with my bow and arrow, I killed cock robin. Who saw him die? I, said the fly, with my little eye, I saw him die." Jesus . Nice little rhyme for a kid. And it goes on and on, Looks like there is about 100 verses."

Sarra rubbed her forehead. "What did Brandon say when he sang this?" He asked " Who killed cock robin? You did Bitch."

She shook her head." I don't understand?

But Brian had picked up a thick three ring binder and was thumbing through the pages,

"What is it?" Sarra asked

He stopped on a page, looked at it, and tapped it with his index finger. "Guess what Brandon's Grandfathers name was; Robin James."