Chapter Nineteen

Part Three

“You sure you don’t want to go with us to West Virginia?” Luc pulled me into an awkward embrace. “I don’t like the idea of leaving you alone.”

“I’ll be fine here, and it will give me a chance to do some shopping.” And search for my backpack that had been hidden inside a box since that fateful day fifteen years ago. As bad as it sounded, going to the cottage ranked somewhere between Rebirth and all hell breaking loose.

“If you need anything, call me. I’ll tell Edgar you said hello.” His eyes twinkled as he said it, knowing full well that it would get a rise out of me.

“I love you, too, Luc.” I waggled my eyebrows at him. He bent to kiss me before he walked to the van, asking me once again if I wanted to join them.

As the van wheeled away, Rosabel and Maggie blew kisses to me while Jessa sat in the front seat with her bottom lip protruding. She didn’t want to go and would probably make life difficult for Luc this weekend. But at least I would have a much-needed reprieve from her antics.

I waddled to the garage and unlocked it. Packed boxes lined the walls and cluttered the walkway. My shoulders sank and my head bowed as I let out a sigh. He’d barely unpacked a single box. This was going to be much harder than I’d anticipated.

I started with the stack closest to me, trying to read the magic marker labeling for the boxes’ contents. Of course, some of the labels were on the other side and required turning the behemoths around in their spot. After an hour of sliding and lifting the heavy boxes, and coming up empty-handed, a sharp pain brought my hand to my abdomen. I plopped myself onto a box marked “Beach Toys” and winced as the baby’s stabbing kicks retaliated against my overexertion. From my perch, I looked around the garage wondering if I’d missed a box, and fretted that the backpack had been lost in one of the moves.

I’d have to open each one individually. My stomach rumbled and I knew that combing through the garage would have to wait until tomorrow.

Green tea with ginger warmed my lips as I hovered over the stove waiting for the water to boil. I set the teacup onto the counter and poured noodles into the pot, not caring that the bubbles had just begun to rise from the bottom. So what if they came out clumped together. With the way I was feeling, they probably wouldn't reside in my stomach for long.

As I waited for my dinner to cook, I wondered if the backpack be inside the house, It was a possibility, but I’d finished my portion of the work over a month ago. Perhaps he’d brought it in from the garage.

When the last plain noodle was being chewed, I walked downstairs to the utility closet. There were about seven boxes in here and they were taped. I repeated the process of turning them to look at their labels until the phone interrupted me.

“Hey, Carrie,” I said, continuing my foolhardy search.

“I’m so glad you answered.” Her voice cracked and she sounded like she’d been crying. “Is there any way you can come to Norfolk? I…I think I’m miscarrying the baby.”

“Omigod! Are you okay?” Where was Mike? And then it dawned on me. He was still overseas and she had no one to help her. “Have you been able to contact Mike?”

“The soonest he can get back is Monday morning. I’m in the hospital and afraid they’re going to put my kids in foster care until I’m discharged or he arrives.”

“I am so sorry, Carrie. Give me half an hour to make arrangements, and I’ll be on my way.”

What a nightmare. Deployment was difficult enough on a family, but the thought of the kids going into foster care while she was going through this made me tremble. And my sweet baby was fine. I couldn't imagine how traumatic this was for Carrie. I did know that she was going to be devastated if she actually lost her baby.

I jotted down the name of the hospital and programmed it into the cell phone then called Luc to inform him about Carrie. He didn’t like the idea of me driving by myself so late at night, but was supportive of my decision to help our friend.

My head was bobbing in front of the wheel as the car pulled into the hospital’s parking garage. I entered the hospital, seeking help at the unattended front desk. I started to walk away and a silver-haired woman peered around the partition, asking if she could help me.

“I need the maternity ward.”

“You’re in labor? You should have gone through the E.R. This always happens.” She sounded frustrated, and picked up a phone, punching in numbers as she took in my pregnant appearance.

“I’m not in labor,” I said. “My friend, Carrie Parrish, is in the maternity ward.”

She slammed the phone into its cradle. “Why didn’t you say that to begin with?”

Really? Her mistake was my fault? I forced myself to breathe deeply. There was no need for Pregnant Lily to unhinge. “Can you just tell me where I need to go so I can help my friend?”

I rode three flights up, the nurse’s station for the maternity ward directly to the right of the elevator when I exited it. A nurse with Melanie written on her nametag sat at the desk, sipping coffee as I told her Carrie’s name. She directed me to sign the visitor’s log and gave me permission to see Carrie though visiting hours were over. She then pointed me to the waiting room.

Lumped together on a loveseat slept the three Parrish children. A hospital-issue blanket was thrown over them. Two recliners and a couch filled the room, but they were unoccupied.

Of course it was empty. Family was almost always far away when it came to the military.

Tara whimpered as I tucked a corner of the cover beneath her. I wanted to throw my arms around them, but their slumber made it easy to walk away.

I tapped on the door, waiting for Carrie to answer before I walked in. Deeply saddened that our babies would never have the opportunity to grow up as friends, I wrapped my arms around her, the woman who wasn’t my blood relation, but was my sister nevertheless.

Her eyes had dark rings around them. She gripped hair on both sides of her temple as her face twisted in agony.

“The baby was still-born,” she cried. “I don’t know what happened. I had strong cramps and then there was blood.”

“I’m so sorry, sweetie.” I reached for a tissue to blot her tears away.

“I don’t know what I did wrong. I thought I was doing everything right.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Carrie. You did all you could for this baby. I know it.”

Carrie had been so good in her pregnancy, following all the rules of what to eat and what to avoid. And she’d been excited about having this little life inside of her and the two of us being pregnant at the same time once again. We were in that pregnant woman’s clique together and it had strengthened our friendship.

And now, she’d been forced into another clique that bonded the emotionally distressed. This particular bond of ours had been severed with the last beat of her baby’s heart.

I held her in my arms, trying to comfort her as she blamed herself and wailed in disbelief that her baby was gone. Once she fell asleep, I untangled myself out of her arms, careful not to disturb her, and removed her keys from her purse so I could take her children home.

I roused them enough so they could walk to the mini-van then entered Carrie’s address into the map application. My tired eyes blurred with every oncoming headlight that we encountered on the way to the house. Fortunately, it was only about ten minutes away. When the children were tucked into bed, I took out my contacts and fell asleep, not waking until they squealed my name the next morning.

Thinking about Carrie’s strength of being able to get her family together and drive to the hospital when she was in extreme pain, I listened as Connor, Laura, and Tara slurped milk from their cereal, and talked about how baby Lucas would probably come home today. They fought over who would be the first to hold their brother and who was likely to be peed on. Every mention of the baby brought me to the verge of tears and my eyes burned from stanching their flow. I couldn’t be the one to break the news to the kids.

When breakfast was finished and the children were dressed, Laura turned on the television, while three-year-old Tara climbed onto my nearly non-existent lap.

“Aunt Lily, is Mommy at the hopsable? I had a dream we went there in the dark,” she asked as she nudged against my belly. Connor and Laura turned their attention away from the cartoon, zeroing in on me as they awaited my reply.

“You weren’t dreaming, Tara. Your mommy’s in the hospital and we’re going to see her as soon as I can gather some of her things.” She climbed off my lap and led me to her mother’s room, eager to help me along.

Uncertain when Carrie would be discharged, I pulled two sets of undergarments from a drawer and set them on the king-size bed. I placed two sweatsuits onto the pile of clothes, and reached for the novel that rested on her nightstand. A dog-ear marked a page halfway through the romance. This would give Carrie something to take her mind off the miscarriage at least.

I rummaged through the closet for a duffle bag or small suitcase and felt my color drain as two mint green robes lurked towards the back of the closet. I staggered backwards at the thought that two of my best friends had been ensnared by the Order.

How could she have kept this from me? She thought I’d disapprove, or that I was a bigot. Perhaps both.

Mike and Carrie couldn’t know how terrible the church was or they wouldn’t be a part of it. Then again, most people didn’t know the depths the church would go to keep its secrets. I had walked away when given the opportunity to expose them for the murderous thugs they were. Had I told the authorities about the church fifteen years ago, it would have ceased to exist and the Parrishes wouldn’t have robes hanging in their closet. Then again, I might have been considered a crazy bigot and seen my family and friends picked off one by one.

The what-if game was an unhealthy one to play, and I tried to force myself to stop thinking about my friends being involved with the Order.

I removed a navy duffle bag from the closet floor. It was for the best that I not acknowledge seeing the robes. To confront them about it would require explanations, and explanations might invoke excavation. I didn’t want to open up that part of my life for scrutiny by any of my loved ones. I tucked Carrie’s belongings and some toiletries into the bag and carried it out to the living room.

“Ready to go?” I asked as the three children watched their cartoons.

“Yes,” they answered in unison, leaping off the couch and racing to the door, their whoops and stampede at about the same decibel level as a herd of elephants.

“Thank you so much for coming last night,” Carrie said as the three kids snuggled on the bed next to her. “You’re a good friend.”

“I was glad to help,” I answered. “I just wish it were under better circumstances.”

Carrie was discharged a few hours later, but she was an emotional mess after telling the kids their brother would not be coming home with them. She was withdrawn for the remainder of my stay with her. Certain that my dancing belly was making it more difficult for her, I was relieved when it was time for Mike to arrive at the airport.

Connor stayed with his mother, while I took the girls to collect their dad. The scruff on his face was a couple days past a five o’clock shadow and his khakis and polo shirt had the wrinkles of being slept-in. The dark circles around his eyes showed me a man who had barely slept in two days.

Mike threw his arms around me and said, “How’s she doing?”

“She’s a wreck, and I think it’s worse having me around. She cries with every twitch of my belly and when she’s not crying, she’s numb. A little too numb. She’s going to need help to cope with this.”

“Numb. That’s how I feel, too. I don’t understand how this could happen.”

“I don’t know why she lost the baby, but right now, it’s more important that you focus on her getting better. She needs a support group.”

“We’ll look into it,” he replied. “Thank you for being here for us. These past two days must have been a challenge. We’ll be forever in your debt.”

“No, you aren’t in my debt. That’s what friends are for.” I stopped the car in front of the house. “Besides, I know you two would do the same for us. We may not have been born blood, but we’ve become it.”

“You’re right, Lily. Thanks again.”

Carrie lost all semblance of composure as soon as Mike walked through the door. I took the kids to a pumpkin patch so the two could comfort each other. When we returned, Carrie had fallen asleep and Mike told me he had the situation under control; I was free to go. A small part of me was relieved as I said goodbye.

When I gave Luc the rundown three hours later, he bent down to my belly and kissed the area just above my protruded belly button. “Looks like one of those button turkeys.” He laughed, but then turned serious. “Stay put, son. We want you here safe and sound, but not too soon.”

I asked how his weekend was.

“It was great. Lots of fishing. We had Edgar and Caleb over on Saturday. Caleb and Jessa took a liking to each other. She’s already called him since we got home.”

“You’re kidding. Those two are an item?” I pshawed. “I thought we weren’t allowing her to date until she turns sixteen?”

“She’s close enough, Lily,” Luc answered. “Besides, he lives six hours away. It’s not like she’s going to be sneaking out the window to meet him in the middle of the night. I figure if we let the two of them become an item, we won’t have to worry about the boyfriends here.”

“Okay, so you were against it before you were for it, right?” I teased. “I understand your rationale, but you just caved to her. That’s going to come back and bite you in the butt.”

“Maybe it'll save us from a lot of headache. It’ll be fine. They’re both good kids.”

He had a point and I didn’t want to argue with him. “Hey, not meaning to change the subject, but I’ve been looking for a box that has my college books and papers. Is there any chance that you’ve seen it?” I asked.

I could see the wheels turning in his head. “It’s in the clubhouse. I put it there a few weeks ago. Looked like something that didn’t belong out in the garage.”

And so he put it in the girls’ play area? The clubhouse was what the girls had dubbed the closet right off the stairs between the second and third floors of the townhouse. It was the perfect size for them  and I’d promised they could play there until we needed the space.

I ducked inside the closet. Dress-up clothes lay on top the box, but there it was, thankfully, still sealed, but starting to break at the corners. Much longer and the girls would have had the papers strewn about the house. I pulled the box out of the room and carried it upstairs, smiling that finally something was going my way.

In the middle of the night, while the rest of the house slept, I read through the papers once again and did a happy dance at the thought of having the resources to bring down the Order of the Father. I wanted the journal translated before I took any sort of action, but I had someone in mind for the job. The Parrishes wouldn't want to keep their membership once they became cognizant of the church's doings.

The next morning, I called Mike to check on Carrie. They’d just left the doctor’s office and she had been prescribed Valium.

“Do you think that’s wise?” I asked, “It’s a highly addictive drug. Wasn’t there something else they could have given to her? An anti-depressant?”

“I’m not going to question the doctor’s judgment.” He inhaled a puff of his cigarette. “I do know that I can’t stand seeing her like this. I’m afraid that when I go back to work, she’s going to do something. She’s not herself right now.”

“I know she’s not.” She was the opposite of her normal self. “Have you called her mom? Maybe it would help to have her around right now.”

“I think Ella would make things worse on all of us.”

Clearly the conversation was going nowhere quickly. “Please tell Carrie that I’m thinking about her. And keep a close watch on her. If you need me, I’ll come down,” I said.

“I know you would, Lily, but right now, Carrie needs to find her bearings. She needs to work through the grief.”

The updates kept coming and were always the same until a few days later when Mike called with the information of what had happened to the baby.

“She had misoprostol in her blood. The doctor asked if she’d taken anything for arthritis. Hell, she doesn’t have arthritis. Then he accused her of trying to abort the baby. I know damn well she didn’t do that.”

“Any idea how she could have tested positive for that?”

“No, Carrie says she only took her prenatal vitamins, like she always does. She avoids all other medication when she’s pregnant,” he spoke quietly.

“That’s why it’s so strange,” I said, trailing off.

Carrie had mentioned that her doctor was a quack. Was he a greenie, too? Was the Order responsible for Lucas’ death?

“I’m so worried about her. I don’t know if she’s going to pull through this.” His voice sounded stressed.

“Has she joined any support groups?”

“She’s been attending one at our church,” Mike replied.

Ice flowed through my veins for a brief, uncontrolled moment. I took a deep breath. How could I word this in a way to keep him from hanging up on me?

“You need to take her to a support group that is led by an accredited professional. Carrie needs help and they may be able to spot trouble with her.”

“We’ll look into it, Lily. Thanks again.” His tone said otherwise and he ended the call there.