Chapter Fourteen

I strode into the church wearing khakis and a navy polo shirt. My robe was neatly folded in a hidden pouch inside my backpack. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to dress for work and didn’t want to leave the robe hanging in my closet easily seen as Rosie inevitably rummaged for something to wear.

“Good morning, Lily,” Father Xavier said as he ushered me inside his office. Several laundry baskets filled to the brim with loose papers cluttered the room. Two file cabinets were on a dolly while one rested against the wall. “For today, I’m going to have you do some filing.”

I had my work cut out for me.

“This is the paperwork for people without existing files.” He pointed to a stack of four baskets. “I’ll have you start with these. You’ll label the file with their last name, first name, and their date of Rebirth. Place their contact information sheet in front, the application behind it, and then any other paperwork at the back.”

“When you said you were behind on your filing, you weren’t exaggerating,” I said to him with a smile.

“I hate clerical work, and should have hired someone sooner.” He gave a resigned smile to me. “Once you finish with that stack, I’ll have you move on to these. These are from people with existing files, but I have a feeling you won’t get to them for a few days. Sorry I’m so unorganized.” He placed the four baskets onto the dolly then wheeled it to the reception area. “You’ll work from right here. Make sure to greet anyone that comes in and write any messages in this notebook.”

As he returned to his office, I reached for the top basket. I was never going to finish this project. The temptation to read every word outweighed my desire to do the actual work. This was the equivalent of a four-year-old winning a shopping spree in a candy store. But Dad’s eyes Father Xavier was watching me closely from his office. I took a deep breath and started working.

I discovered that each file contained records of the member’s church attendance and donations, background check, and other compiled information such as the member’s income, grades, and friends. I bristled at the realization that the Order was spying on us. I immediately wanted to search through my own documents, but Father Xavier’s gaze was constant; he was testing me. It took me the entire day to whittle the tower to nothing, but I worked fast and made every point to resist the files’ calls. Now was not the time to fail.

The fire alarm pierced my ears as I walked into the apartment. The windows were wide open.  Wafts of scorched bacon puckered my face funhouse-style as the alarm quieted. Metal clattered to the ground as curse words that could make a sailor blush flew through the air. Rosie was cooking, which meant that dinner was going to be awful and cleanup would last into the night. Maybe longer.

“I hope BLT’s sound good,” Rosie said as she scraped what remained of the bacon from the bottom of the pan.

I tried to correct my grimace at what was for supper. Normally, I loved the sandwich, just not so much when the meat was burnt beyond recognition and removed by a scraper that I was certain hadn’t been washed. Typical Rosie.

She slapped the bacon onto a mayonnaise-slathered piece of bread and handed it to me to finish with the toppings. Would I be able to swap out the meat for ham without her noticing? Deciding it wasn’t worth the chance of making her mad, I layered extra tomatoes and pickles atop the lettuce.

“I’m amazed you haven’t starved by now.” I took bite and grabbed my Dr. Pepper to wash it down.

“Aren’t you the comedienne,” she said, scrunching up her face in mockery of mine as she took a bite of her sandwich. She made a choking sound and spat into a napkin. “This is awful.”

“Ham or turkey?” I asked after we stopped laughing and picked bacon bits off our sandwiches.

“Surprise me.”

I pulled the ham from the refrigerator while Rosie told me how awful her job was. She thought it beat living at home and working at the local amusement park, but it was going to be rough.

“Speaking of jobs, where exactly are you working?”

I resisted the urge to let out a sigh. Rosie was perceptive and resourceful. “I’m doing clerical work for a church.”

“Sounds even more boring than my job.” She paused to swallow her food and folded her arms. Her elbows rested on the table and she looked directly at me. She was going in for the kill and I fidgeted in my seat dreading her next words. “Okay, so now that we’ve got that out of the way, who are you dating? And don’t tell me ‘no one.’ I’m smart enough to know there’s a real reason you stayed here besides working for a church.”

Thank God our mom picked that moment to call. For once, I didn’t discourage her long-windedness and was even happier when she wanted to speak with Rosie, too.

*                                    *                                    *

Another tower of baskets awaited me when I walked into my cubicle the next day. Father Xavier greeted me with a wave, while he continued talking into the phone. He closed the door to his office, stepping out every few minutes to check on my progress.

Once I saw my file, my productivity diminished as it beckoned to me. I had to know its contents, and my fingers flicked over it with each paper stuffed into another member’s records. I would look up to see if I was being watched – sometimes I was – and chicken out on reading through it, deciding that his bathroom break would provide the perfect opportunity. I worked my way through two baskets and was annoyed that Father Xavier hadn’t left his office other than to tell me that I should take my lunch break.

When I returned to the church, he was nowhere in sight. It was now or never. My thumb went directly to the file, and I slid it out of place, accidentally removing the behind it as well. I opened the folder and flipped through the pages to see my college transcripts, and work history, along with the names of my close friends and a brief mention of a possible boyfriend named Jack. I was glad that no skeletons had been found with my background check and that my credit rating was even higher than I had thought. A sigh of relief crossed my lips as the only mention of the professor by name was next to my sociology grade.

Fastened to the back of the file were a group of papers labeled “Notes.” Their dates corresponded with the weekend of my Rebirth. Blood drained from my face as I read through the documentation of the weekend’s occurrences.

“Friday, 10PM, Has been screaming for past hour, but now asleep. – Max”

“Saturday, 2AM, Screams for past two hours. Not calming down. – Rachel”

“Saturday, 8AM, Lily has eaten a bite of bread, a little water. Recommendation is to assist. – E”

“Saturday, 11AM, Screams have resumed. – Rachel”

“Saturday, 2PM, Assistance given. Vitals being monitored. – Sigmund”

“Saturday, 8PM, Stable, asleep. Will continue monitoring. – X”

“Sunday, 6PM, Recovering well. Reborn. – X”

“3/15, Being groomed for Green Thumbs. - Sigmund”

I snapped the folder closed and stashed it in its correct spot as my wits flooded back to me. My heart raced as I tried to piece together the identities of my caretakers, Sigmund and E. Was this Sigmund the unidentifiable voice that haunted so many of my dreams? I couldn’t remember meeting any Sigmunds in the church and the only one I’d heard mentioned was its founder. He was pretty easy to rule out, unless he’d developed some secret way to come back from the dead.

As to “E’s” identity, Ericka came to mind, but she was supposed to have been going through Rebirth at the same time as me.  I was going to have to add her name to the list of files to read.

And what were these Green Thumbs? If this Sigmund was planning to trust me with a bunch of plants, disappointment would inevitably follow. I’d sent many a silk flower to its grave.

“Ahem,” Father Xavier said. I jumped about two feet into the air at the sudden interruption.

“Omigosh, you scared me.” I covered my thudding chest with a hand. How long had he been standing there?

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he said. “I think I’m catching one of those dreaded summer colds.” He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and trumpeted his nose into it. “I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

“It only took me a little over half an hour to eat, so I came back. Hopefully that was okay?” He hadn’t accused me of anything inappropriate, so my shoulders relaxed and I forced a smile onto my face.

“You’re making great progress; at this rate, you’ll be finished with this task within a week.” He blew his nose again and walked into his office.

I turned back to the files. What was Ericka’s last name? For the life of me, I couldn’t remember it, though I did remember seeing that the spelling of her first name was atypical. I didn’t see any Erickas, Sigmunds, or even Dr. Osborn in the files, but I probably ha overlooked them. Surely I would come across them at some point in the next few days.

When I returned home, Rosie stood in the kitchen stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce. A stained towel hung over her shoulders, protecting her Wonder Bread logo t-shirt from the dark brown streaks trailing down her face. The spices in the sauce masked the smells of the chemicals on her hair.

“Dark brown?” I asked, walking in unannounced. Her hands shot into the air, and the sauce-filled ladle dropped, hitting the stove before clattering onto the floor.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Rosie said with a giggle as she cleaned the floor with a paper towel. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon. But yes, I decided I’d try out dark brown. I need a change.”

“I can’t believe you trust yourself to dye your hair.” Rosie had been coloring for a few years, but I didn’t trust her abilities. Her hair had gone from auburn to an accidental green to an unfortunate gray in a matter of weeks during our senior year of high school. I was afraid to self-dye for that very reason.

“Har, har, Lily. You so funnnneeee.” She scrunched her face into fish lips and beaver teeth as her arms flailed about. They brushed against her hair, and brown spotted her white sleeves. She tried to blot the mark with water and cursed her clumsiness.

“Well, at least dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. I need to go rinse this before I go bald,” she said. “Can you watch the sauce for me?”

The sauce simmered and I prepared the noodles as I waited for Rosie to return.

“What do you think?” Rosie asked, sweeping into the room with her chocolate mane.

“Pretty! It’s about the same color as Holly’s. It looks nice on you.” I scooped some sauce over the noodles and handed the plate to Rosie before I dished some out for myself.

“Would you mind if I go out tonight?” I asked after the table was cleared.

“Are you meeting your boyfriend?” She wasn’t going to let this go.

“Yes, I’m going to meet Jack. Are you happy now?”

“I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me! Tell me about this Jack guy. How long have you been dating?” She leaned forward in her chair, ready for the latest scoop.

“Well, I met him in my sociology class,” I replied, “but we didn’t start dating until second semester. He’s smart, successful, gorgeous, and he treats me like a queen. He’s everything I could ever want.” Hopefully that would satisfy her curiosity.

“Have you said the L-word yet?” Rosie asked.

“Yeah, we have, and he gave me this ring.” I’d been dying to show it to her, so I slid my hand under the chain around my neck and pulled it out of my shirt.

She scrutinized the ring, her eyes widening as she noted the size of the diamond. “That cost some money. You forgot to add rich to that list of qualifications for winning your heart,” she said. “Engagement ring?”

“No, it’s just a promise ring and something to remember him by when we’re apart. I shouldn’t feel this way, but our relationship seems too perfect. I feel like the rug is going to be pulled from under me.”

Her lips creased into a frown. “Why would you say that? If he’s all these things and you’re as happy as you say you are, what’s the problem?”

“He’s so out of my league.”

“Out of your league?” She snorted and sprayed a stream of cola out of her mouth. “Brad Pitt isn’t out of your league. If this guy is making you feel this way, he’s not right for you.”

“You’re biased when it comes to whose league I’m in, but Jack isn’t like that. He’s been very good to me. But if you recall, the only date I had first semester was that stupid Ryan guy. No one was lining up.”

“Big fuckin’ deal. You don’t need a hundred dates to have self worth or any date for that matter.”

“Look who’s talking,” I snorted. “You’ve been moping for the past two months. Maybe you should take your own advice.” Rosie needed a swift kick when it came to that.

“We both know that’s true, but I’ve been the one living in your shadow. I’m supposed to have the self-esteem issues. You’re the perfect one.”

“Aw, Rosie. You’re perfect, too.” I gave her a much-needed hug. “So do you mind if I go out?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. I might call one of the girls from work to see if she wants to go clubbing. You have fun,” she answered. “Will you be back tonight?”

“I don’t think so. Thanks for being so cool.”

And with that, I packed an overnight bag, made myself pretty, and headed to Jack’s.

His arms pulled me close and he bristled as I told him about the contents of my file. Apologies for embroiling me into this mess followed a single tear that rolled solemnly down his cheek. The sadness turned to resolve, and resolve eventually to passion as the night progressed. But he didn’t stop urging me to walk away from the Order before it was too late.