7 | more than friends

"what the fuck tate?" i fussed to tatum as i stood in her bedroom.

"what?" she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "i told you i'd make you a damn vegan pie. just give me time."

"wha- this isnt about pie!" i expressed. "why didn't you tell me saylor got back with her ex?"

"um i didn't know that was information worth sharing to you?" she shrugged.

"ughhhh," i groaned. "no wonder she hasn't been texting me for real lately."

"billie," tatum started. "they're always off and on. i could've told you they'd be back together."

"but like," i started. "if she had to drive two hours in a storm just to get away from her, doesn't that seem concerning?"

"probably just a really bad fight that time," tate nodded.

sure.

"okay but wait. so when did this happen? how did they get back together?" i asked her.

"um to be honest," she looked up in thought. "i think it was the day after that whole incident with you two. because that next morning moony asked me to go with her to pick up the rest of her stuff from their place in palm springs but i had to work so i couldn't."

"so who ended up going with her?" i asked.

"no one," tate shook her head. "she went alone. but she said when she got there, her and paige ended up talking things out and getting back together."

"i should've went," i shook my head.

"why though?"

"cause," i paused. "i don't know."

"b," tatum stood up. "i love you, but i can't see saylor and paige leaving each other alone no time soon. plus, you have josh."

i rolled my eyes.

it all makes sense though. this is why she hasn't been hitting me up for real or been wanting to hang out.

and the other day she said she had a lot going on already, now i see what it is.

"you guys are just gonna have to be friends," tatum patted my shoulder.

"not much chance of that either the way i acted when i met her girl today," i scratched behind my neck.

"oh wait you met paige?" tate rose her eyebrows. "how did that happen?"

"i went to the ice rink and-"

"oh b," she face palmed.

"i know," i shook my head, disappointed in myself.

"was your reaction bad?" tate asked, her face cringing.

"i could barely look the girl in the face."

"oh god," tatum expressed.

"and i also said some hurtful things to saylor. so i might as well kiss our friendship goodbye," i shrugged. "she probably never wants to see me again."

"that's not true," tate shook her head with a chuckle. "she's bad at holding grudges."

i see.

"well when you see her tonight, tell her-"

"oh b she doesn't- she doesn't live her anymore," tatum said. "she moved into her new place."

"oh," i stated. "well i definitely may never see her again because im not going to the ice rink anymore and i damn sure won't just pull up to her apartment complex."

tate chuckled. "you're so dramatic."

-

it's been a few days and finneas and i are still uninspired as fuck for music. it's actually killing me and making me lose hope for my future.

"you wanna try one more time?" fin asked me as he played different melodies on the piano/ keyboard.

"um-" i started before my phone pinged with a text.

it was from tatum.

"billie," finneas said again. "wanna try again or no?"

"uh," i paused. "no."

i then stood up. "i have somewhere to be, let's try again tomorrow."

on my way out, i paused in my tracks. do i really wanna go up there? cause honestly, just as much as saylor may be mad at me, im mad at her too.

because how dare she get back with that girl whose name i refuse to say.

i could slap them both.

-

i arrived to tatum's and took a deep breath before getting out my car. i went up to the door and entered the code into the keypad.

i walked in and looked around to see if saylor was in the kitchen, living room, or back patio. but she wasn't.

i then looked towards the guest bedroom and saw that the door was closed.

i instantly tensed up because we all remember what happened last time i showed up and the bedroom door was closed.

nervous as hell, i went and softly knocked on the door and took a few steps back, putting my hands behind my back. i feel like im someone's prom date, about to meet the family.

a couple seconds later, the door opened, revealing saylor. she saw me, immediately rolled her eyes, and turned around before walking away.

"well hello to you too," i rolled my eyes before walking behind her.

but as mad as i wanted to be, i couldn't be. i was so happy to see her, yet nervous for some reason.

"what are you doing here, billie?" she asked as she resumed looking through the closet, not looking my direction.

"i came to apologize for my outburst the other day," i sat on the bed. "i shouldn't have brought up your bruises, i know it hurt your feelings. and im sorry."

she sighed. "thanks."

"now can we please just be happy regular friends like we started?" i asked her.

"i told you to stop pissing me off," she chuckled.

i laughed. "shut up."

then it got silent for a second.

"so how's the new place?" i asked.

"cool," she nodded. "it's really nice and im almost done picking out all the furniture i want so im excited. it's been keeping me busy."

"well i told you i would've helped you move in," i told her.

"i know but paige has been helping me so," she said kinda lowly.

"oh right," i rolled my eyes. "um let's just talk about something else."

then there was silence again.

"hey, not gonna lie," i started. "when i first got here and saw the bedroom door closed, i thought you were masturbating again."

saylor just paused, still not looking at me.

hmph, that sounded funnier in my head.

"well would you have listened again?" saylor replied.

shocked, i went silent.

she then turned around with her eyebrows raised. "hmm?" she asked, tryna get an answer out of me.

still, i said nothing as i was so caught off guard.

saylor playfully sighed. "sorry not today eilish," she said. "next time i'll let you know."

"let me know?" i furrowed my eyebrows.

"yeah. so you can watch," saylor smirked with a chuckle.

and i honestly can't tell if she's joking or not.

she just giggled as she went and continued going through the closet.

i honestly don't wanna make shit awkward right now, but i'd be a bad friend if i didn't voice my concerns.

right?

"uh saylor," i scratched the back of my neck. "can i just ask you something without you possibly getting mad at me?"

she paused and sighed. "this is about paige, right?" she asked, already having an attitude.

"im just kinda thrown off to how you could get back together with her after she um," i stopped.

"it's okay," saylor turned around to me, shrugging with sarcasm. "say it.. after she's thrown me on the floor, punched me til i was purple-"

"i wasn't going to say all that-"

"why not?" she tilted her head.

"because i didn't know!" i rose my voice.

she just rolled her eyes.

i shook my head in confusion. "so then- then why-"

"because billie," she sighed. "we talked it out. and- and she said she's done some self reflection."

"in 3 weeks?" i rose my eyebrows at how dumb of a statement that was. "she changed that fast?"

saylor shook her head. "you don't get it."

"you're absolutely right," i nodded. "i don't."

she bit her top lip in annoyance. but i could see in her face that she knew i was coming from the right place.

she walked up to me while i was still sitting on the edge of the bed. saylor stood in between my legs and grabbed my hands, intertwining our fingers.

she looked me in my eyes and said "can you just trust me? please?"

i sighed. "i just don't want you to get hurt mama," i said softly as i caressed her waist.

"im not," she told me as she ran her fingers through my hair. "do you not trust me?"

"of course i do," i said as i lowered my hand placement. "but i don't trust her."

"but i know what im doing," saylor stated.

"do you?" i asked as i looked up in her eyes.

"you think i don't?" she furrowed her eyebrows.

"well.. i mean-"

"ugh," she rolled her eyes as she removed her hands and started walking away.

"saylor wait," i grabbed her wrist but she quickly snatched away and continued walking.

i then got up. "saylor," i said again as i turned her around by her shoulder and put her up against the wall.

we were face to face, just staring in each other's eyes. it was clear we were both thinking the same thing right now.

but i looked down. "just.. just be careful, okay?"

she just nodded, her eyes still locked with mine.

i nodded back. "okay," i told her before kissing her forehead and walking out of the room.

-    saylor's pov    -

i finally went back to my apartment after sitting and spending some time with billie. we just talked more but idk.

i really be having to keep my composure around her cause she gives me hella butterflies. like i honestly hate how much she cares about me sometimes cause i just wish- nvm.

but before we parted ways, billie invited me to the barbie movie premiere which im so excited about! but if im being honest, im sure she would genuinely like for me to be her plus one but i honestly think she's just tryna give us reasons to hang out because she sees how distant i am.

it is kinda hard to do other things with paige staying at my apartment with me now. she's always wondering what im doing and where im at so its easier to just hang with her most days.

funny cause i initially got the apartment to get away from her and start anew.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

but anyways, i can appreciate billie doing what she can to make sure our friendship doesn't fall apart. i just wish we could've been more than friends.

but she's happy in her relationship and im happy in mine...

anyway, i was just at my place, doing the dishes, jamming my infamous playlist that was mostly frank ocean. but then my front door opened and in came paige.

"sup babe," she said as she came over and kissed the top of my head.

"hi love," i smiled.

"water heater fixed?" she asked as she took her jacket off.

"yup," i said. "thank god. now i can shower," i chuckled.

"yeah sorry that you had to spend the whole day at tatum's," paige told me. "if i didn't work i would've spent the day with you."

"oh it's fine," i shrugged. "i didn't mind being over there. i just went ahead and brought some more stuff that i had left over there anyway so it was cool."

i then dried my hands off and went and sat on the couch, getting on pinterest.

"i thought you were cooking?" paige chuckled as she sat next to me.

"now i never said that," i laughed. "nice try though. let's just order out baby."

"hmm, asian?" she looked at me.

"mmm, yeah," i grinned. "no wait wait, no yeah we can. i could go for some sushi."

"cool you order?" she rose her eyebrows.

"why do i always have to call it innnn?" i whined. "i hate talking to people."

"because you're already on your pho-" she laughed as she leaned over to look at my phone. "oh god, not pinterest again."

i giggled. "stop, you know im obsessed."

"what are you making a board for now? why is it all pink?"

"um," i looked down. "movie premiere."

"movie premiere?" paige furrowed her eyebrows.

"yeah i was invited to the barbie movie premiere," i said lowly.

she squinted. "im guessing billie invited you."

i just nodded slowly.

"what, is she acting in the shit?" she suddenly asked with an attitude.

"no she's supposed to be writing a song for the mov-"

"oh im glad you know all things billie," she cut me off.

"paige can we not right now?" i tilted my head. "im very excited about it and im going."

she squinted her eyes with a nod. "didn't you go with her to some gucci shit-"

"yeah. look she's just a good friend who likes to share her experiences," i shrugged. "and im grateful."

paige rolled her eyes. "but when did you guys get so close?"

"when i was living with tatum," i said as i stared at my fingernails that i was fiddling with. "i'd hang with her while tatum was at work so that my mind would be off of you."

she just rose her eyebrows.

and i took a breath.