6 | stay away

she glanced back and forth from my lips to my eyes. and then, she began to lean in slowly.

don't do it, billie.

but i really want to.

but i shouldn't.

but i am.

i gently slid my hand behind her head and brought her closer, having our lips crash. hers were so soft, i wanted to melt.

no time was wasted as we both inserted our tongues into each other's mouth, making out. saylor slid her soft hands up my shirt, rubbing my side and back ever so lightly.

i ran my fingers through her hair before dragging my hand down her back and to her ass, pulling her more up against me.

our bodies were now touching. i placed my hand on saylor's thigh and rubbed it, eventually pulling her leg on top of me.

she then just got fully on top of me, straddling me, and still kissing me. i placed my hands on her ass and started guiding her hips in a grinding motion against me.

and we did that for a good minute.

but then, saylor slightly moaned into my mouth.

and that.. that made me snap out of it.

"oh my god," i said as i broke the kiss.

saylor just blinked in shock, as well did i.

"um," i paused. "im so sorry i- um we shouldn't-"

"oh," she got off of me. "um i- im sorry. i shouldn't have-"

"no no," i cut her off. "dont- dont apologize, please. it's fine."

"o- okay," she said as she laid down awkwardly.

fuck, i feel bad.. but i just can't.

i literally didn't know what to do. so i just grabbed my tv remote and put on The Office. i basically had to force myself to face forward and not look saylor's way.

but i could see her kind of glancing at me from my peripheral. i know she's confused. i just hope she's not hurt.

after about 2 minutes, saylor turned over with her back facing me and pulled the covers more up her body.

i waited about 5 minutes before i got fully under too. i didn't know if she was sleep or not, but i didn't care.

i reached my arm over her and pulled her into my body, so that we were now spooning. i kept my arm around her with my hand placed on her stomach.

she then put her hand over mine, rubbing it with her thumb.

guess she's not sleep.

the butterflies i have right now are insane. i dont know, this just feels so right.

but it's not.

-  saylor's pov  -

i woke up in billie's arms. my head buried under her neck. my arm wrapped around her body. it felt so good, i wanted to stay there forever.

the annoying ass siren alarm started blaring aloud from her phone, waking her up and causing her to groan.

"ugh fuck," she complained as she picked her phone up and turned the alarm off.

i smiled. "well good morning sunshine."

"good morning love," billie rasped as she wiped her crusty eyes.

"you sleep good?" i chuckled in a tease at her appearance.

"can you tell?" she laughed. "oh god my breath stinks."

i rose up. "im sure we're in the same boat with that."

she then got out of bed and began texting on her phone. "i have to leave soon so i texted carl to come get you and take you home."

"k cool. you have a lot to do today?" i asked.

"yeah fin and i are supposed to meet greta gerwig today so we can watch the new barbie movie she's created," she told me.

"oh my god i saw the trailer for that," i said with a smile. "wait why is she having you guys come watch it?"

"she wants us to write a song for it," b nodded to me.

"but... doesn't the movie come out in a couple months?" i squinted.

"yup," she nodded. "we're super behind on the writing process but it's because we're so uninspired," she shook her head.

"oh damn," i said as i got out of bed. "well i hope it all works out."

"yeah," she scoffed. "me too."

"well i'll get out of your hair," i said as i grabbed my phone. "um ill give you your clothes back next time i see you."

"it's okay," billie chuckled. "dont worry about it."

"oh good cause i was lying," i said, trying not to laugh.

billie walked over to me and we hugged. and it was kind of a long one. but not too long, just longer than usual. ya know?

as we broke the hug, billie looked me in my eyes. "um look saylor, about last night-"

"oh stop," i shook my head. "it's all good."

she blinked and cracked a grin. "okay."

as i began to walk out of her bedroom, i got really really nervous.

don't do it, saylor.

i gotta.

"um, but billie?" i turned around to face her.

"yeah?" she rose her eyebrows as she looked at me.

"uh would you maybe wanna go on a date with me?" i hesitantly asked.

billie's eyes got slightly wide. she began blinking in thought. that was definitely the last thing she expected to hear.

"uh," she started. "saylor," she paused. "i- i would absolutely love to but i-"

"babe!" a voice called.

i quickly furrowed my eyebrows and turned around in confusion.

soon, the bedroom door opened and there stood this boy. "hey babygirl," he said to billie. "i brought breakfast."

i looked at billie who just seemed to be frozen.

"oh you must be saylor," the guy said to me with a smile.

it took me a couple seconds to actually register that he was talking to me.

"oh uh um yeah that's me," i fake chuckled.

"well im josh," he held out his hand. "nice to meet you."

"you too," i said slowly as i shook his hand, not focused at all.

and for a couple seconds, we all stood there in dead silence.

"well um i guess i should go," i quickly said as i walked towards the door.

"saylor," billie said in a sad tone.

i turned my head to see her. but she couldn't even say anything. her face was pure guilt and sadness.

i gave her a slight glare and turned back around, leaving.

-

i walked inside tatum's house and shut the door.

"hey how was your-"

then i slammed my phone on the counter.

"...night?" tate finished in confusion. "you okay?"

"billie has a boyfriend?" i rose my eyebrows.

"uh yeah," she shrugged. "why?"

"that would've been very very valuable information to know tate," i fussed at her.

"did i miss something?" she furrowed her eyebrows. "you like billie or something?"

"no!" i quickly responded. "maybe. i don't know."

she just tilted her head at me.

"okay yes i like her!" i exclaimed. "she's been there for me. she's done shit for me. she's helped me. and shit, we just have fun together."

"moo-"

"and also, she's fine as shit!"

"moony!" tatum chuckled.

"what!" i exclaimed back.

but tatum found this shit funny.

"im sorry," she chuckled. "if i would've known you were interested in her, i would've gave you a heads up."

i sighed. "fuck my life," i groaned.

"what happened? you asked her out or something?"

"i wish that was the only thing that happened," i rolled my eyes.

tatum just gave me a confused look.

"we almost had sex last night," i told her.

"what?!" she coughed like she choked on air.

"we were deadass making out and dry humping in her bed," i face palmed.

tate's mouth was wide open. "no fucking way."

"way," i sighed.

"oh my god," she continued, shocked as ever. "this is crazy."

"well if you excuse me, im gonna go wither away."

"oh saylor no," tatum followed me. "come here."

- billie's pov -

i know what you're thinking.

and i don't wanna hear it.

i know, i know.

it's been a week since saylor found out i have a boyfriend. it's also been a week since i've heard from saylor at all.. and i don't like that.

I KNOW.

i've texted her with hella apologies but she's been leaving me on read. i've tried calling and she'd decline.

i even texted tatum and told her to tell saylor that im sorry. and she did it for me, but it's clear that saylor is very upset with me.

i am 100% in the wrong and i feel terrible. so i took it upon myself to go to tatum's to try and make things right.

i pulled up and smiled at the sights of saylor's silver nissan in the driveway. i walked up to the front door and entered the code. i walked in and said "hellooooo," rather loudly.

but then i looked straight out the window and noticed her sitting on the back patio.

i walked to the door and stood there nervous as fuck, not wanting to walk out there.

after about 30 seconds of being pussy, i finally opened the door, slightly scaring saylor.

her head quickly shot to me and her eyes were wide from fright. "fuck," she sighed as she put her hand over her chest/ heart.

"sorry," i said lowly as i walked out there.

i went and sat down in a chair across from her. she was in a tank top and shorts. and her bruises were finally gone. and seeing that alone, made me crack a smile.

but she, on the other hand, she was not happy. she gave me the meanest rbf one could give.

worse than mine.

"hey," i said softly.

"what do you want?" she shrugged.

"saylor please," i begged. "im so sorry for not telling you about josh."

"it's not even about that billie," she explained. "you're not obligated to tell me shit. but what you shouldn't have done is kissed me, knowing you're with someone else."

"i know and im-"

"and caressed me," she went on. "and fucking cuddled me ALL NIGHT."

"you're right-"

"do you know what that does?" she rose her voice.

i just nodded, feeling like a kid in trouble.

"i don't wanna have feelings for you billie!" she exclaimed in a hurt tone. "lord knows i have way too much going on. so please just stay away."

"moony," i said sadly. "please."

she looked at me, caught off guard by what i called her.

"im sorry," i said once more. "i truly am, i lost control and i take full responsibility. but i refuse to leave you alone."

saylor rose her eyebrows at me.

"im not leaving here til you tell me we can stay friends," i stood up and folded my arms.

she furrowed her eyebrows. "fuck you."

"that's fair," i shrugged. "but im still not leaving."

she just stared at me a for good minute before rolling her eyes. "fine, but im still mad at you."

a big smile grew across my face. "please give me a hug."

she playfully rolled her eyes and walked towards me before wrapping her arms around my neck in a hug, reminding me why i decided to risk it all in the first place.

we broke the hug and chuckled.

"i've missed you," i pushed her shoulder.

"then don't piss me off and maybe i won't ignore you," she tilted her head with attitude.

"yes ma'am," i nodded as we walked back inside the house. "so what did i miss in a week?" i joked.

"actually," she started. "you'll be happy to know that i got approved for the apartment i chose."

"what?!" i exclaimed in happiness. "saylor that's great! it was the third one we went to?"

"yup," she nodded with a smile. "i got itttt. i'll get the key very soon."

"well let me know," i nodded. "i'd love to help you move in."

"k," she smiled. "here, stay. i was about to make something to eat."

"what are you making though?" i chuckled. "remember im vegan."

she then slapped a pack of tortillas on the island. "so am i, eilish."

"what? for real?" i rose my eyebrows.

"yes," saylor laughed. "so we're about to eat burritos."

"oh," i grinned as i pulled out a stool at the island to sit in. "right up my alley."

-

it's another week later and i haven't seen saylor since the day i went to apologize and we ate lunch together.

im not saying i have to see her everyday but i do be wanting to talk to her ass. and whenever i've texted her, i'd just get these dry responses.

like she's not being rude, but she'd be very short. or like our conversations wouldn't last long at all.

and i don't wanna text tatum to ask what saylor has been doing because she already got on my ass for kissing her that night.

i don't know.

overthinking was killing me so i got my dumbass up, pranced into my challenger, and drove my dumbass to the ice rink, assuming she'd be there since it's sunday.

and she teaches ice skating every sunday now.

i pulled up and smiled as i saw her car outside. i went into the rink and sat down on the bleachers where i sat last time.

i spotted babygirl as she was helping some boy work on his turns. then after awhile, she did a double take into the crowd and noticed me.

i cracked a nervous grin and waved.

she smiled and waved back.

well that's kind of a relief, at least i know she's not mad at me for any reason.

as time went on, she and everyone else free skated for the remainder of the time, showing off their moves.

after a minute, some of them started to walk towards the exits, letting me know that they were done.

i got up from my seat and started walking down the steps so that i could greet and hug saylor as she skated to the barricade.

right as i was stepping down, she skated to the barricade with a smile on her face. and when i looked to see what she was smiling at, a girl approached her.

and they kissed.

and hugged.

and my heart sank.

i stopped in my tracks, confused as fucking ever.

this girl was taller than saylor, and masculine presenting.

"bae, what are you doing here?" saylor looked at the girl.

"i wanted to surprise my baby," the girl said.

saylor then looked at me and looked back down before saying. "oh right um, billie com'ere."

i slowly stepped down and approached the two with confusion on my face.

"b, this is paige," she started as she hooked arms with the girl. "paige, this is billie."

my eyes slightly widened as i felt like every cell in my brain just disintegrated.

"nice to meet you billie," the girl smiled. "i fuck with your music."

all i could do was smile and nod, i felt so gone.

"billie," saylor said, bringing me back to reality.

"oh um yeah preciate it," i smiled at the girl before looking back down. "good to meet you," i said without even looking at her. i couldn't do it, i immediately walked away and went into the bathroom.

there is no fucking way.

no way that she's back with that abusive bitch.

i can't believe this.

after about 1 minute, the bathroom door opened and in came saylor. her ice skates were off. and she did not look happy.

"what the hell was that?" she fussed in a whisper. "why did you do that?"

"me? what did i do?" i asked.

"the way you just acted," she started. "you were acting so off, it looked so suspicious."

"well pardon me for being caught off guard to meeting your damn ex!" i pointed out.

"i don't get why you're reacting like that!" she continued. "you and i are just friends. and you have a boyfriend so why do you even care so much?!"

"you had bruises all up your arms saylor," i gritted my teeth. "that's why."

she looked at me with hurt and anger in her eyes, knowing i was right. i just shook my head and walked out of the bathroom, leaving the building.