Chapter Four

Ellie

This whole mates business was starting to mess with my head.

When Livvy was nearing eighteen, it was all she could chatter about. She was constantly sizing up every unmated wolf as a potential mate. I’d just laughed and teased her back then, not understanding what the big deal was.

But now, with my own eighteenth birthday looming, I found myself wishing I was just a regular human. I couldn’t ignore the way boys my age, and even some of the older wolves, were looking at me.

Especially Seth. I couldn’t deny it. Today, when he had me pinned to the ground, I felt a little thrill.

When Livvy suggested he might be my mate, I brushed it off with a laugh. But what if he was?

Seth was the first wolf I’d become friends with when I crossed the border with Sammy. He was older than me—quite a bit older, though he didn’t look it.

When I was up in the mountain with my grandfather, it was Seth I missed the most. Back then, the idea of mates hadn’t even crossed my mind. Now, it was all I could think about.

What if Sammy had been my mate? I know I felt his loss when he died. How could you tell if your mate was still alive?

What good would I be as an Alpha Queen without a mate? The line would end with me.

Maybe it would be better if Jackson was the king. Being human, he wouldn’t have to worry about finding his mate. He could just find someone he cared about.

They could have children. Only werewolves needed to conceive with their mate.

Everyone seemed sure that war was on the horizon. What if my mate was killed? What then? Or maybe, because I was half human, I wouldn’t need a fated mate. Maybe I could choose a human.

I didn’t think that would go over well, especially with my grandfather—if he was still alive. That man could hold a grudge.

He’d stormed off when my dad showed up. Sure, he wasn’t my biological father, but he’d been more of a dad to me than anyone else.

When my grandfather left three years ago, I thought he might come back. Even just for a visit. But no. He stayed up in the mountains and never came back down.

I’m sure if he had died, Clayton would have felt it. Maybe I would have, too.

With all these thoughts swirling in my head, I found myself back at our house before I knew it.

The day with Livvy had been fun, especially the chocolate chip ice cream. Now I needed to talk to Dad, try to convince him he didn’t need to rise with the sun. He still would, even if I promised him I’d eat a proper breakfast.

When I walked through the door, he was already starting on dinner.

“I wish you’d let me cook for you,” I complained, plopping down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

He glanced over his shoulder and smirked.

“I’d rather live to see another day.”

I pouted. My cooking skills weren’t the best, but they’d never improve if I didn’t practice.

“Dad?” I started.

He turned to face me.

“Ah, is this one of those conversations where you need my full attention?”

I managed a smile.

“How do you know if your mate is dead? I mean, do you feel an emptiness?”

He frowned at me, then smiled.

“What’s brought this on? Why do you think your mate is dead?”

I shrugged.

“What if my mate was Sammy? Would I feel it?”

Dad shook his head.

“No, pickle. It doesn’t work like that. You only feel the loss once you know who your mate is. If they die, or if they reject you.”

I frowned.

“What about your mate...Do you...Do you miss her?”

He narrowed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Sorry,” I blurted, “I shouldn’t have...”

He shook his head, cutting off my apology.

“No,” he forced a smile, “you’re curious, and that’s okay. I haven’t talked to you about a lot of things. Things that happened while we were apart.”

I nodded, staying silent, waiting for him to continue.

“I found my mate while I was looking for you,” he began.

“My parents wanted me to commit to my mate. My father,” he sneered, “told me I should forget about you and move on...”

I stared at my dad, a little shocked. I shouldn’t have been, especially knowing what I now knew about his father.

Dad smiled.

“That was never going to happen, pickle.”

I knew that now, but back then...but I wouldn’t dwell on the past. I knew now that my dad would never abandon me, not willingly.

He continued.

“My mate went back to her own pack, to wait until I was ready. Until I found you, or until...well, everyone kept telling me you couldn’t have survived.”

He shook his head. I guess he still struggled with the betrayal. They were his family, after all.

“Anyway, my father had me locked up, as you know. During that time, I felt the bond with my mate break.”

He swallowed hard. The memory must have been painful.

“Dad...you don’t have to...” I started.

He touched my arm.

“It’s okay, Ellie. I want to.”

I put my hand on his, waiting for him to continue.

“I never marked her,” he added. “My father told everyone I had crossed the border. I guess she figured I was dead when her wolf couldn’t sense mine. She must have found another mate. When he marked her, the bond broke.”

I frowned.

“I don’t understand. If you were her mate, how could she choose another?”

Dad looked at me and smiled.

“It’s not something that’s generally talked about, but sometimes mates will reject each other. When that happens, or if their fated mate dies, they sometimes take a chosen mate. Once they mark each other, the bond grows. It’s a bit like when a werewolf marks a human.”

I nodded.

“But they can’t have children...pups?” I asked.

Dad gave his head a shake.

“No, a she-wolf can only conceive with her destined mate.”

I scrunched my eyebrows together.

“What about me? Can I only have pups with my destined mate?”

Dad glanced at me, his shoulders lifting in a shrug.

“That’s a solid question, Ellie, and I honestly don’t know the answer.”

He leaned against the counter, studying me.

“Why all the sudden interest in mates, Ellie? Got your sights set on someone?” His smirk was teasing.

I pouted, shaking my head with a bit too much force.

“No...It’s just...I’ve been noticing how some of the unmated wolves look at me.”

Dad’s grin widened.

“You have? And how exactly are they looking at you?”

I nibbled on my lower lip.

“Like they want to devour me.”

Dad let out a chuckle.

“You’re a stunning she-wolf, but if they’re making you uneasy, I could always play the protective wolf and scare them off for you.”

I let out a small laugh.

“I think I can handle that myself.”

Dad hummed, turning his attention back to the stove.

“You didn’t do such a hot job of that this morning, did you?”

I crossed my arms over my chest.

“You were spying, weren’t you?” I shot back.

Dad snickered.

“When the young Beta had you pinned to the floor?”

He glanced over his shoulder.

“You weren’t really focused, were you?”

I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t you start too,” I huffed.

He spun around, saucepan in hand, and began to dish out the food onto two plates.

He slid one towards me and handed me a spoon.

“Dig in. I hear you have an early day tomorrow, so you should hit the sack early.”

He circled the counter and took a seat on the stool next to mine.

“You know Ellie, you could do a lot worse than having Seth as your mate,” he mused.

I could feel my cheeks heating up.

Maybe discussing mates with my dad hadn’t been the best idea.