Chapter Thirty-Five

Ellie

I had hoped that skipping training with Murdoch would buy me a few extra hours of sleep. But Seth had other plans. He was knocking on my door just as the sun was peeking over the horizon.

I knew he was eager to help me with my shifting, but at sunrise? Really?

I threw on some loose clothes and shuffled into the kitchen.

Seth slid a cup of coffee and a plate of bacon across the table to me.

“You’ll need the energy,” he said, as if that explained everything.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and blinked at him.

“And the coffee?”

Seth chuckled.

“I’ve got a full day of work ahead of me, and I seem to recall Alpha Gabriel mentioning that you’re not exactly a morning person.”

I grunted in response and started eating.

He wasn’t wrong. I would have gladly waited until after Seth’s workday to do this if it meant I could sleep in.

After breakfast, I followed Seth out of the pack-house.

Instead of heading to the training grounds, he led me towards the tree line.

He stood there with his arms crossed, waiting. When I didn’t move, he rolled his eyes.

“Unless you want to ruin your clothes, I suggest you take them off.”

I scowled at him.

“Well, turn around then. I don’t need you ogling me.”

Seth laughed.

“I forget you’re half human. What is it with humans and their discomfort with their own bodies?”

I just stared at him until he turned away.

“You’d think after spending so much time with wolves, you’d be over your embarrassment about nudity,” he said.

I knew I shouldn’t have been so bothered, but for some reason, with Seth, I was.

Training with Murdoch had been different. He wanted me to shift quickly between human and wolf, so there was no time to think about it.

And everyone else was doing the same thing. But here, alone in the woods with Seth, it felt strange.

I hesitated before slowly removing my clothes.

Once I was naked, I wrapped my arms around myself.

“Okay, what now?” I asked.

I wasn’t sure if Seth could sense my discomfort, but he didn’t turn around.

“Alright, Ellie. When you shift, what do you do?”

I thought for a moment. The truth was, I didn’t do anything. I let Nix, my wolf, control the shift.

“I let Nix take over. She starts the shift,” I explained.

Seth turned around suddenly. I gasped.

“You weren’t supposed to look!”

Seth rolled his eyes.

“I can’t talk to you with my back turned.”

I felt my face heat up.

“But...but you’re a...and I’m a...” I stammered.

Seth laughed.

“I’m a man, and you’re...a pup, Ellie. Now, let’s get back to it, shall we? You can’t let your wolf control the shift. If you do, it will always be painful.”

I didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Everyone always said that Seth liked me. I thought they meant as more than a friend. Then I remembered what Olivia had said about mates.

Seth would only be interested in another female if she was his mate. I felt stupid. I should have realized that was why werewolves didn’t care about being naked in front of each other.

I let my arms drop to my sides and looked at Seth.

“So, what should I do? That’s the only way I know how to shift.”

Seth smiled. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was no longer showing signs of discomfort or for some other reason.

“Just think about how it feels when you’re a wolf,” Seth began. “The feel of the ground beneath your paws, the wind in your fur as you run, the scents you can pick up.

“Imagine yourself as a wolf. If you initiate the shift, it will be much less painful than if your wolf takes over.”

I nodded and closed my eyes, remembering all the things I loved about running with Nix.

I crouched down on the ground. A warmth enveloped me. I didn’t hear the usual cracks or feel the pain of my bones shifting.

“How was that?” Seth asked.

I opened my eyes, about to ask him what he meant, only to see two paws in front of me.

I did it, I shifted!

I squealed through the mind-link.

Seth chuckled in response.

How about we go for a run, and then you can practice shifting back?

I watched through Nix’s eyes as Seth shed his clothes and shifted. His wolf was massive, twice the size of mine. Its coat was black, with a small white tip on his tail.

I knew from my studies that it was rare for a wolf that wasn’t an Alpha to have a pure black coat. That’s why Seth’s wolf had the white tip on its tail. I thought it was cute.

We ran together through the woods and towards the lake. Nix was fast, but not as fast as Seth. I think he slowed down so we wouldn’t get left behind.

When we reached the lake, I looked out at the horizon. I wondered when we would cross the lake, to the human side of the border.

We were supposed to go after my training with Murdoch was finished. But it hadn’t actually finished because of my trouble with shifting. Even though the shift was painless today, it wasn’t quick.

Not like Murdoch wanted it to be.

When will we go to the other side of the border?

I asked Seth through the mind-link.

Soon. Come on, we need to get back, and you need to practice shifting back.

He replied.

It wasn’t really an answer, but I guessed it was the best I was going to get.

Race you.

I laughed through the link and darted back towards the woods to get my clothes.

Seth gave me a head start, but he still beat me, overtaking me at the last second. I thought I might actually win. I’m pretty sure he planned it that way. Making me think I could win.

I’ve never been very competitive. For most of my life, it was all about survival. But today wasn’t just about learning. For the first time in a long time, I actually had fun.

A sense of dread washed over me, a feeling that this might be my last opportunity before we crossed the border.

Transforming back had always been less painful for me, probably because I was the one in control. Today was no different, except for the fact that I felt more at ease being naked.

Despite all the lessons my grandfather had given me, he never really explained the concept of mates. I had a vague understanding, but not enough to fully grasp how the whole mate thing worked.

Once we were both dressed, we made our way back to the pack-house. I knew Seth had Beta duties to attend to, but I felt at ease with him. Maybe he could shed some light on it.

“Seth,” I started, my voice wavering slightly.

He turned to me and smiled.

“What’s on your mind, Ellie?”

I nervously bit the inside of my cheek.

“Can you tell me about mates?”

Seth smirked at my question.

“What exactly do you want to know?”

I shrugged.

“I don’t know...Everything, I guess. Is that why werewolves don’t mind being naked around the opposite sex? Don’t they feel anything...unless it’s their mate?”

Seth burst into laughter.

I frowned at him.

“What’s so funny?” I huffed, “It’s not nice to make fun of people just because they don’t know.”

Seth nodded.

“You’re right Ellie, I’m sorry...but I think this might be a conversation you need to have with Alpha Gabriel. He’s the closest thing to a father you have.

“It’s not the sort of conversation you should be having with,” he paused for a moment, his expression turning serious, “with an unmated male.”

Seth left to attend to his Beta duties, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Did I really want to know about mates? Olivia seemed to think it was important, but she was almost eighteen.

With a looming war, I figured my dad would have more pressing matters to worry about.

After my shift, I headed into the pack-house. I was suddenly famished. I made my way to the main kitchen to see if I could find some food.

As I walked in, I saw my dad standing there, talking to Murdoch. I hoped they hadn’t changed their mind about my training.

Today’s shift had been easier, but I wanted more practice before attempting quick transformations during combat.

Dad looked at me and smiled.

“Hey pickle, how did it go?”

I returned his smile.

“Good, I’m just really hungry now,” I grumbled, opening the fridge in search of leftovers.

Both men chuckled at my comment.

I pouted before stuffing some bacon into my mouth.

“I can’t help it,” I mumbled with my mouth full.

Dad frowned at me.

“Manners, Ellie. Either eat or talk, not both at the same time,” he reprimanded.

I quickly swallowed.

“Sorry, it’s just if I need to shift again today, I need to refuel.”

Dad shook his head.

“No more training, pickle. There’s been a change of plan.”

I looked between dad and Murdoch, waiting for one of them to explain.

Dad glanced at Murdoch, who nodded before exiting the kitchen.

I frowned.

“What’s going on?”

Dad walked over and put his arm around my shoulder.

“We’ve decided to postpone any more training for you. We have to move forward with the plan. We’ll be crossing the border first thing in the morning.

“We’ll see if we can come to an agreement with the humans.”