Chapter 21

Ellie

Daddy hoisted me up and carried me to the bathroom. I didn’t understand why I needed to wash my hands. I’d already taken a bath today. But I didn’t protest, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference.

Everything was so puzzling. Back across the border, I was told what to do. If I didn’t comply, there were consequences.

But here, it was different. Some things were my choice, others were not. Like the daily baths and hand washing. And then there was this party.

Meeting new people was hard for me. Mostly because it frightened me. I knew Daddy and his family wouldn’t harm me, but strangers...how could I be certain?

How could I know they wouldn’t be like the people on the human side of the border? New faces there only wanted to inflict pain. They took pleasure in it. I thought that was just how people were.

So far, all the werewolves I’d met, except for the doctor and Samuel, had been kind. But I wasn’t about to let my guard down. I knew the moment I did, something bad would happen.

Daddy might not always be there to shield me. Like earlier today on the path. I was lucky Murdoch was there. But he could have just as easily been a bad person.

If he had been, he might have hurt me. All I could do was hope that Daddy, Nana, and Grandpa would stick by me at the party. Maybe Jasmine, Jason, and ’lijah would be there too.

Perhaps even Murdoch. I liked Murdoch. Maybe when I was older he would teach me to fight. He said he would. I would ask Daddy. Then it wouldn’t matter if bad people showed up.

I would be able to defend myself.

Daddy placed me on the counter and helped me wash my hands.

“Will there really be lots of chocolate tomorrow?” I asked.

Daddy grinned, “There will, but before the party, you will have to be brave...can you do that for me?”

I frowned, and tears began to well in my eyes.

“B...but daddy...I...I don’t want to be brave. Every time you tell me that I need to be brave, something bad happens,” I whimpered.

Daddy planted a kiss on my forehead.

“Sometimes, pickle, we have to do things that aren’t very pleasant. We don’t have a choice, though. We do it because we must. Tomorrow we have to make you a part of the pack.

“That way I can always keep you safe.”

I frowned, “What’s a pack?”

Daddy scooped me up and carried me out of the bathroom.

“Werewolves live in packs. It’s like a big family. When someone new wants to live with us, we have a ceremony so they can join the pack...the family.

“Then we thank the Moon Goddess, and we have a feast, a party,” Daddy explained.

“Who’s the Moon Goddess? And why do I need to be brave?” I asked.

Daddy smiled, “The Moon Goddess is very important. She gives us our wolves and makes us strong.”

I pouted, “But she won’t give me a wolf, will she?”

Daddy set me down on the floor, and then gently tilted my chin up with his fingers.

“If you’re very brave, she may,” he concluded.

I furrowed my brow. How could I have a wolf if I wasn’t a werewolf, or could anyone be one?

“Daddy, I don’t understand,” I whined.

He rested his hand gently on the top of my head and guided me into another room.

Grandpa was already sitting down. There was a pile of cushions on a seat, so I guessed that would be where I was sitting.

Daddy lifted me up and put me on the chair, then he sat down on the chair next to me so I was sat in between him and grandpa.

“Here’s what’s going to happen, pickle. Tomorrow you and me will stand up on a stage. I’ll make a little cut in my hand, then a little cut in yours.

“Then we press our hands together and I say some words, that’s all.”

I felt tears pooling in my eyes.

“W...will it hurt?” I asked, my voice quivering.

Daddy stroked my hair.

“Maybe a little...but I’ll have a cut on my hand too, then when you get a bit older we’ll see if the Moon-Goddess has blessed you with a wolf.”

I stared at my hand. I didn’t want to do this. What did I need a wolf for anyway? That said, I doubted I would get a choice.

I was jolted out of my thoughts when Nana put a plate of food in front of me.

I just stared at it. I didn’t even care what it was.

“Say thank you, Ellie,” Daddy chided.

“Thank you,” I monotoned, staring at it blankly.

Nana frowned, but she didn’t say anything.

I wasn’t quite sure how long I stared at it. It must have been a while.

“What’s the matter, pickle, aren’t you hungry?” Daddy asked.

I just shook my head. I’d lost my appetite.

“Too many cookies, I expect,” grandpa smirked, as he looked at Nana.

I didn’t say anything. There wasn’t any point. Even if I’d said I’d lost my appetite because I was scared about tomorrow, it wouldn’t change anything.

It’s always the same...You never get a choice unless you make it yourself.

The voice inside my head concluded. It was always there when bad things were about to happen. Usually I ignored it. Now I was beginning to realize it was right.

Daddy, Nana, and Grandpa finished their dinner. I didn’t touch mine.

“I guess you won’t want dessert then?” Nana questioned.

I didn’t look up, I just shook my head.

I felt Daddy’s hand on my forehead.

“She always wants dessert, I hope she’s not ill. She’s not hot though,” he concluded.

Nana was humming softly, “Maybe she’s just worn out. You should take her home, tuck her in. She’s got a big day ahead.”

Dad pulled out my chair and scooped me up.

“Let’s head home, pumpkin,” he said.

I nestled my head on his shoulder.

“Sleep tight, sweetheart,” Grandpa murmured, planting a kiss on my forehead.

Nana kissed my cheek.

“Everything will be fine, darling,” she whispered.

But I knew it wouldn’t. It just wouldn’t.

Once we were home, Dad took me to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Then he carried me to my bedroom. He helped me out of my clothes and tossed them into a hamper, just like the one in the bathroom.

He slipped a clean nightgown over my head and tucked me into bed.

I felt the mattress sink as I closed my eyes. He sat there, waiting for me to drift off, just like he did last night.

But tonight was different. I focused on the rhythm of my heartbeat and the steady rise and fall of my breath.

When he thought I was asleep, I felt the bed shift as he stood. I felt his lips press a kiss to my forehead.

I felt a pang of guilt for what I was about to do, but I didn’t see any other option.

I heard the door click shut. I waited a few beats before I opened my eyes.

He’d left the lamp on, just like before.

I would miss my Dad the most, but Nana and Grandpa too. And ’lijah, even though I hadn’t seen him in a few days.

Whenever someone said those words to me, I knew something bad was about to happen.

I need you to be brave

Those words were like a warning sign to me.

Erik had said them twice. Once when he put me to sleep in the hospital. Then again when he saw what the guards had done.

Now Dad had said it.

Mom had said it once. She thought I hadn’t heard when the man took me away while Dad was sick. Then Jackson had said it, when the guards took me away for punishment.

Every time, the same thing happened. Every time, I ended up getting hurt. Not this time. I thought things might be different here, but they weren’t.

I quietly pushed the covers off and swung my legs over the side of the bed, careful not to make a sound.

I stood on my tiptoes and managed to reach the door handle. I turned the knob slowly and opened the door.

The house was dark. I guessed Dad had gone to bed too.

I tiptoed down the hallway, heading for the living room and the front door.

My feet barely made a sound as I padded across the floor towards the front door.

“Going somewhere, Ellie?”

I gasped and froze at the sound of Dad’s voice.

I looked into the living room. He was sitting in a chair, the moonlight streaming through the window illuminating the room.

He didn’t look mad or even upset. He looked... disappointed.

Seeing his face, I realized he knew. He knew what Erik knew. My secret that no one was supposed to know.

He motioned for me to come to him. I’d never really been scared of him, except for the first time he yelled at me. But now, I was terrified.

I took a step back, my eyes darting between him and the front door.

Even if I ran, I wouldn’t make it. He would catch me easily.

“Come here, Ellie,” he ordered, his voice stern.

Part of me wanted to obey, as if he was pulling me towards him. But a stronger part of me resisted.

I took another step back and shook my head.

He stood up.

“Well, that’s a surprise. You can resist an Alpha command.”

I tried to step back again, but my back was already against the wall.

“P...please...I...I’m sorry,” I stammered.

I slid down the wall, pulling my knees to my chest. I covered my head with my arms.

I started to shake.

“I...I know I’ve been bad,” I whimpered. “I...won’t tell anyone...I promise.”

I heard Dad’s footsteps as he walked towards me.

I held my breath, waiting for the punishment I knew was coming.