Chapter 12

Ellie

I’d never fallen asleep so quickly or slept so soundly as I did when Gabriel tucked me in.

I couldn’t figure out why, when everything here kept triggering panic attacks and flashbacks of something I wanted to forget.

I tried to block it out, but sometimes nightmares would creep in or something would happen that would spark a memory. I’d tried so hard not to cry, and mostly it worked.

But since coming here, I’d cried a lot. I’d had more memories and panic attacks than ever before.

When I woke up, I almost had another one. It took me a moment to realize where I was. That wasn’t the problem. When I opened my eyes, I saw a stranger in the room.

I never had to worry about that before. Jackson was always there when I woke. I avoided any other male inhabitants of the camp, especially the guards.

One wrong move and I knew they would send me back to the punishment block. I had already been labeled as a troublemaker.

This reminded me of when I was small. When my parents were still alive. If someone strange would come into the house, I usually hid behind my mom or dad. Until I knew it was safe.

I had no one here to hide behind. Especially now as no one else was here except for the strange boy.

I gasped and pulled the covers up around me, like some protective shield. He must have heard me as he turned around.

He was about the same height as Jackson. Jackson had begun to get stubble on his chin. He said it was the sign he was becoming a man. I knew that because he would leave to become a guard soon.

This stranger was no way a man. He had a boyish face, he was just bigger than a normal boy should be.

“Oh hi,” he began, “did I wake you? Mom said I should be quiet and not disturb you. My name’s Elijah. You’re Ellie, aren’t you?”

I just stared at him, as he talked. He hardly took a breath between sentences.

“You don’t talk much, do you? Can you talk? I talk lots, so if you don’t talk it doesn’t matter, I can talk for both of us!”

He smiled again and reached into a bag that was sitting on a chair.

“Do you like chocolate? The teacher gave me some today for being good. I’m not really bad, but I talk too much in class sometimes. Do you go to school? How old are you?

“You’re very small,” he concluded.

I carried on staring at him, I’d never met anyone that talked like he did. Not even the younger kids in the camp. Most of us hardly said a word.

I pulled the covers tighter around me, I wasn’t sure what to make of him.

He looked at me and pouted a little.

“Don’t be scared, Ellie. I won’t hurt you. Here, you want some chocolate?”

Elijah walked towards the bed, breaking the chocolate bar in half, and offering me some.

I slowly sat up and held out my hand, still half too scared to talk.

It looked exactly like the chocolate that Jackson had given me, so I started to eat it.

“You should say thank you, it’s not polite to take something and not say thank you,” Elijah concluded.

“Thank you,” I whispered with my mouth half full.

“You shouldn’t talk with food in your mouth either,” he warned, “it’s rude, that’s what my mom says.”

I frowned at him. One minute he was telling me to say thank you, then he was telling me to be quiet. I wished he would make up his mind.

I finished eating the chocolate.

“I’m twelve,” I stated.

He narrowed his eyes and glared at me.

“You shouldn’t lie. Uncle Gabriel doesn’t like liars. You’re too small to be twelve, I’m twelve, and you're even smaller than my brother, and he’s only just eight.”

Tears began to pool in my eyes.

“I’m not, I am twelve,” I sniffled.

Elijah put his hands on his hips, he was about to say something else, but he was interrupted by the door opening.

“Elijah, I told you not to wake her,” Jasmine scolded, “and why is she crying?”

I was and I hadn’t even realized. I wiped the stray tear from my cheek with the back of my hand.

“I didn’t mean to,” Elijah began, “and she’s been lying. I told her Uncle Gabriel doesn’t like liars!”

Jasmine frowned, “what exactly did she lie about, Elijah?”

Elijah looked at Jasmine and folded his arms, “she said she was twelve. She can't be, I’m almost twice the size she is, she’s even smaller than Samuel and he’s only just eight.”

Jasmine rolled her eyes, “Ellie isn’t lying. She is twelve, but she’s human so she’s smaller. Also, she’s been sick.”

Elijah made an ‘o’ with his lips, then he walked over to me.

Before I knew what was happening, he had grabbed me in a hug.

“I’m sorry, Ellie.”

At first it was OK, if a little awkward being hugged by a stranger, but then it began to hurt, and he wasn’t letting go.

I cried out, as it felt like he was crushing me.

“Elijah!” Jasmine snapped, “let go, you’re hurting her.”

Elijah immediately let go. Now my tears were really falling, that really hurt.

He looked at me, quite shocked and upset.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he blurted.

Jasmine gently picked me up and started to rub my back.

“I know you didn’t Eli, but she’s a lot smaller and delicate. Even more than your brother, you have to be careful.”

Elijah looked at Jasmine and nodded.

Jasmine smiled, but her smile turned into a scowl.

“What have I told you about eating chocolate before supper, Elijah?”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a handkerchief and started to wipe my mouth.

“Sorry, Mom, I was just being friendly and sharing with Ellie.”

Jasmine hummed.

“Ellie, no chocolate before dinner in this house. I bet Gabriel will say the same.”

“Say the same about what?”

I glanced up to find Gabriel standing there.

“I’m a fan of chocolate,” I declared.

Gabriel laughed, “I can tell,” he said, picking up one of my hands.

Jasmine had wiped my face clean, but traces of melted chocolate still clung to my hands.

I lifted my hand to my mouth and licked the remaining chocolate from my palm.

Jasmine frowned.

“Ellie, we don’t do that. We wash our hands,” she corrected.

I could see both Elijah and Gabriel trying not to laugh.

Gabriel scooped me up from Jasmine.

“Alright, you two,” he smirked, glancing at Elijah, “let’s get you cleaned up before someone gets upset.”

Jasmine rolled her eyes.

“You’re as bad as they are, Gabriel,” she chided, “dinner will be ready in five minutes.”

Gabriel carried me to the bathroom, Elijah trailing behind.

He perched me on the edge of the counter, then cleaned my hands.

“So,” he started, “why the tears, Ellie?”

Before I could respond, Elijah spoke up.

“It’s my fault. I was mean...then I hugged her too tight, and hurt her a bit. I didn’t mean to.”

Gabriel lifted me up, so Elijah could reach the sink.

“You just need to be more careful, Elijah. We need to protect her, look after her,” he explained.

Elijah nodded, “I will. I’ll make sure no one hurts her. She’ll be like my little sister.”

Gabriel hummed, “more like a cousin, Elijah. Now let’s go eat dinner before it gets cold, and Ellie can meet her other cousin.”

I furrowed my brow, unsure what a cousin was, but I didn’t mind as long as they didn’t squeeze me too hard.

Dinner was different. Unlike breakfast, which we had on the couch, Gabriel led me into another room.

There was a large table surrounded by eight chairs. The other cousin, Samuel, was a bit taller than me, but much bulkier.

He was already seated in one of the chairs, on something Jasmine called a booster seat. Jason sat next to him. They found another booster seat for me.

Gabriel sat beside me while Jasmine served the food.

I frowned slightly at the unfamiliar food. It wasn’t surprising, considering I’d only ever had vegetable stew and the fruit from this morning. And that awful egg.

I hoped this food didn’t taste like that.

Everyone else’s plates were piled high. I was relieved that mine was much smaller. I could never eat as much as Jason and Gabriel had on their plates.

Jasmine’s plate wasn’t much smaller, and neither were the cousins’.

Everyone else was using a knife and fork. I’d only ever used a spoon, although I remembered my parents using something similar when I was little.

I pouted when I realized I only had a spoon, unlike everyone else.

I stared at the food as everyone else began to eat. I didn’t recognize half of it.

“Need some help, Ellie?” Gabriel asked, scooping something white and soft onto my spoon.

I shook my head. “What is it? Can’t I have apple and strawberry?”

I glanced at Samuel as he snickered at my question.

“Samuel!” Jasmine scolded. “Eat your dinner.”

Samuel pouted and started to eat, occasionally shooting me sideways glances. I knew he had laughed at me, that’s why Jasmine scolded him. I decided I didn’t like him much.

Gabriel smiled and pointed to each food. It was mashed potato, cauliflower cheese, which was a vegetable in a cheese sauce, and chicken.

All of it was tasty, although the chicken required some effort to chew. I preferred the fruit I had at breakfast though.

“What do you think?” Gabriel asked as I tried each thing.

I nodded, careful not to talk with food in my mouth. Elijah glanced at me and smiled, so I smiled back.

“It's OK, but I like strawberries best,” I replied.

Gabriel chuckled and ruffled my hair.

“I think my little pup has a sweet tooth.”

Jason and Jasmine chuckled too. Samuel just glared at me. I don’t think he liked me much either.

Elijah smiled and looked over at me.

“I think you like chocolate best,” he added.

I smiled at him and nodded. “Chocolate for dinner would be best,” I added.

Everyone laughed at that, except for Samuel. I even managed a giggle. I was happy. I hadn’t been this happy since I was little, when both Mom and Dad were alive.

I stopped laughing almost immediately and looked down at my lap. I suddenly felt guilty. How could I be as happy now as I was when they were alive?

I felt Gabriel’s finger under my chin, gently lifting it.

“What’s wrong, pickle?”

I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. “I miss my mom and dad,” I whispered.

Gabriel gently rested his hand on top of my head, holding it so I looked at him.

“I know you do, but they wouldn’t want you to be sad, would they? They’d want you to be happy, right?”

“Yes,” I sniffled.

“And you are happy, aren’t you?”

I nodded.

He removed his hand from my head and gave my cheek a gentle pinch.

“How about a smile then?” he urged.

I forced a smile.

Gabriel grinned. “I think you can do better than that.”

His fingers went to my sides. I shrieked as he started to tickle me. My shrieks turned into giggles as I squirmed, trying to escape him.

“Gabriel!” Jasmine scolded. “How can I expect the children to behave if you don’t?”

Gabriel halted in his tracks, shot me a glance, and winked. I couldn’t help but let out a final giggle, which earned me a stern look from Jasmine.

“Seems like we’re both in hot water now,” he murmured in my ear.

I clapped a hand over my mouth to stifle another giggle.

Jasmine shook her head, but I noticed the corners of her mouth twitching upwards, fighting a smile.

“Who’s up for dessert? We’ve got strawberries and cream,” Jasmine proposed.

I removed my hand from my mouth and beamed.

“You prefer Jasmine over me, just because she serves you strawberries?” Gabriel pouted, his grin lopsided.

I shook my head at Gabriel.

“No, you’re my favorite,” I whispered.

He stretched out his arms. “Then how about a hug?”

I reached out to him and he swept me off the chair, enveloping me in a warm hug.

I felt cozy and safe in Gabriel’s arms.

But it only intensified my longing for Jackson…

^~FLASHBACK~^

I recoiled as the guard overturned our table, the decaying wood splintering on impact.

“Where is it?” he bellowed.

“We don’t have what you’re after,” Jackson asserted, positioning himself protectively in front of me.

“Don’t play games with me, boy,” the guard threatened. “Your sister had a book. Hand it over and we’ll go easy on you.”

Tears streamed down my face as I watched the guard wreak havoc in our tiny room.

It wasn’t much, but it was ours. It felt even emptier now that Mom and Dad were gone...but it was home.

“Hush, El, it’s okay,” Jackson comforted. He wrapped me in a tight embrace, and I sobbed into his chest.

I tried to block out the sounds of crashing and banging as the guard ransacked our room for the picture book.

“It’s okay,” Jackson reassured. “It’s okay.”

And in the safety of his embrace, I believed him.

The guard ceased his destruction. He couldn’t find the book.

I didn’t have it anymore...but he wouldn’t believe me.

“If you’re going to be a nuisance, then I’ll have to teach you a lesson,” he roared.

He yanked Jackson away from me, dragging him out the door.

“No!” I wailed. “Please, no!”

“It’s okay, Ellie,” he tried to reassure. “I’ll be back—”

But the guard slammed our door shut behind him as he hauled Jackson away.

I crumpled to the floor in the midst of our devastated room. Splinters and shards of glass were scattered everywhere.

Piece by piece, everything was being stripped away.

I curled up into a ball and cried until I was all out of tears.

^~END OF FLASHBACK~^