Chapter 39 - First Crack

Zadkiel headed straight home after this. His legs were thinking with their own brain because the one in his skull didn’t even know what was happening, the one in his skull was numb to everything. He wasn’t crying. He wasn’t feeling any kind of emotion. He was just numb.

He was sitting on the bed, gripping the sheets as his mind was playing the same picture on a slideshow in his brain. He didn’t want to see her face but that’s all he could see.

“Zadkiel…” He heard Irvin’s voice as he entered the room but he didn’t look up because somehow the floor was more fascinating than any reality he was in.

“Zadkiel, I’m talking to you, baby.” Irvin stood before him. He lifted his gaze from the floor and stared at his mate’s face.

“Yeah?”

Irvin gave him a soft smile and sat beside him. He caressed the balled fist of Zadkiel that was gripping the sheets, tightly. Zadkiel released the sheets and sighed, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured.

“Why are you sorry?” Irvin questioned, placing his hand on Zadkiel’s lower back to rub.

“I feel like I’m overreacting but I just don’t know how to feel. They left me when I was 7 months old. I don’t know how to react.” He sighed.

“Don’t be sorry. I won’t be the one telling you how to feel or treat your mother.” Irvin told him. He knew he wasn’t experienced in that department. He had no idea what Zadkiel could be feeling so, he wasn’t going to tell him that he should forget and forgive his mother. He would just support him in his every decision.

“My mother… Hearing this makes me sick.” A tear finally rolled down from the corner of his eye.

“I’m so sorry.” Irvin gave him an apologetic look. Zadkiel smiled, shaking his head.

“Don’t be. I’m fine.” He stood up, extending his hand for Irvin to take. Irvin gladly entwined their hands and rose to his feet, towering Zadkiel.

“We are not discussing this topic ever again. Distract me.” He spoke, making Irvin rise to his own feet.

“I have a weird way to distract. If you’re okay with it.” Irvin smirked at Zadkiel who chuckled.

“I’m yours, Alpha. Do whatever you want.” He winked at Irvin who couldn’t be more proud that he brought out this side of shy and quiet Zadkiel.

Irvin sandwiched Zadkiel’s hand between his and stroked it so tenderly that Zadkiel shivered at this sensation. Irvin pulled Zadkiel closer and rested his hand on the lower back of Zadkiel, making Zadkiel gasp at the sudden closeness. There was no air between them as their bodies were closer than the fingers on a hand. Zadkiel’s breaths picked up in the anticipation of Irvin’s next movement as Irvin dipped down his head, staring at Zadkiel’s hazel orbs intimately, making him blush without even doing anything.

As Irvin’s head moved closer to Zadkiel’s face, his breath hitched and he started feeling thousands of emotions at once but as Zadkiel was waiting for Irvin’s lips to attach against his, it never happened. Irvin leaned further as his lips brushed against Zadkiel’s ear, making him shudder.

“I want to sleep,” Irvin whispered in Zadkiel’s ear before letting him go and stepping back. The hot breath against Zadkiel’s ear was enough to melt him but then his mind comprehended Irvin’s word and he frowned.

“Wh-What?” Zadkiel was so overwhelmed with emotions that he couldn’t even understand what happened. Irvin was very much aware of the state of Zadkiel and he couldn’t help but press his lips together to hold back his smile.

“You said ‘do whatever you want’ and I want to sleep.” Irvin made it clear to a dishevelled Zadkiel whose frown turned into a scowl in seconds.

“You’re very rude. Get out.” Zadkiel pouted though he wasn’t serious about kicking Irvin out, when Irvin laughed, Zadkiel pushed him away.

“That’s really cruel!” Zadkiel whined, stomping his feet like a kid.

“What?!” The curly-haired played it innocent, chuckling and blinking at him.

“Don’t ever touch me again,” Zadkiel stated with a serious face, pointing a finger at Irvin who pressed his lips together because he knew that wouldn’t last long.

“I’m going to bed and I want you to sleep on the couch. You’re not going to be on the same bed as me.” Zadkiel angrily spat, jumping on the bed and lying in the starfish position so Irvin wouldn’t lie next to him.

A warm smile appeared on Irvin’s face as he watched his mate act like a 6 years old kid. Irvin’s stomach fluttered when Zadkiel placed a pillow on his face so he couldn’t stare at him. He swore Zadkiel looked like a kid at that point.

“Go away and don’t look at me like that.” Zadkiel’s voice was muffled against the pillow.

“At least take off your shoes.” The curly-haired lad said, chuckling at his mate’s childish behaviour. Zadkiel lifted his foot for Irvin to take it off without saying anything.

“I thought you forbid the touching.” Irvin teased making Zadkiel whimper in the pillow.

“Touch the shoes, not me!” Zadkiel shouted in the pillow, which made him shook his head as he grabbed the right foot of Zadkiel that was in the air to remove the shoe and when done, Zadkiel lifted his left foot, chuckling silently, he removed that as well.

“Anything else?” He questioned in a soft tone.

“No,” Zadkiel spoke, turning around and lying on his stomach as his face was still pressed against the pillow.

Irvin was content to know that he succeeded in the mission of distracting Zadkiel. He knew if he had just kissed Zadkiel like he was anticipating, it wouldn’t have been enough because Zadkiel would’ve been overwhelmed with emotion and it might’ve ended up in tears for him.

“Nice arse.” Irvin complimented making Zadkiel turn around abruptly, whining but the pillow was still glued to his face, and it didn’t come off.

Irvin let out a breathy chuckle as he moved his body towards the bed and hovered over Zadkiel.

“What are you doing?” Zadkiel spoke in the pillow. Irvin gently removed the pillow off his face.

As soon as the pillow was off his face, Zadkiel’s eyes made a contact with Irvin’s emerald eyes that were gazing at him with so much adoration and warmth. Zadkiel’s cheeks flushed when Irvin’s hand made a contact with his skin as he cupped his face.

“Don’t hide from me,” Irvin whispered. Zadkiel lost all the control of his body as his head shook in affirmation involuntarily.

They stared at each other’s eyes for a while as if it wasn’t creepy to just stare and not say anything. Zadkiel squirmed under Irvin as his body wanted more than he actually thought. He pushed his hand up Irvin’s nape to his scalp and locked it with his curls.

“Kiss me.” He said with so much authority in his voice, staring deep at Irvin’s eyes that even though Irvin didn’t think of kissing in the first place, he couldn’t deny it. It wasn’t that he would’ve shut down Zadkiel after he asked for a kiss but this time it felt like a force was telling him to kiss him. He felt like he was hypnotized to kiss Zadkiel as he dipped down his head, obliging to Zadkiel’s command and kissed him. He somehow knew that Zadkiel wanted him to place his hand under his shirt and he did it.

He didn’t even enjoy the kiss as he did what exactly his mind somehow knew Zadkiel wanted. He felt like Zadkiel’s robot doing exactly what Zadkiel was somehow transferring to his mind but then it hit him and he pulled apart from Zadkiel, staring at Zadkiel’s face with a frown. Zadkiel was so lost in the moment and looked so innocent to even notice the scowl on Irvin’s face.

“What are you doing?” Irvin questioned, his tone was harsh. This made Zadkiel snap out of the trance as he opened his eyes to look at Irvin.

“What?” Zadkiel frowned, totally confused. Irvin pulled apart from him, completely detaching his body from Zadkiel.

“You are mind-controlling me!” Irvin snapped at him in anger. Zadkiel curled in a ball as he sat up and scooted away from the snappish Irvin.

“No… I… I’m not.” Zadkiel stuttered in fear. Irvin had never been so furious with him.

“Yes, you were, Zadkiel!” Irvin stood up, yelling at Zadkiel who further curled to be smaller, wishing he could vanish.

“Irvin… I… I didn’t.” Zadkiel’s voice was so low that it could pass for a whisper. His whole body was sweating and his hands were trembling with fear. This side of Irvin, he never witnessed it and it was hella scary for him.

“So, that’s how you work your way around? You mind control me, don’t you? All this ‘I hate my parents because they left me when I was 7 months old’ drama is fake and you put it up for me so, I wouldn’t know your grand plan, right?” Zadkiel had no idea what had gotten into Irvin but whatever Irvin was saying, was enough to bring tears to his eyes.

“You’re crossing your limits. Don’t say something you’d regret later.” Zadkiel warned him, he couldn’t believe Irvin brought up his parents into this. He never expected such a low blow from him.

“I’m crossing my limits? You were mind-controlling me this whole time and I thought I was just falling in love with you. You turned me against my own father and you made me give your mother a place to stay here when I know how risky that’d be.” Irvin spoke as if he had lost his mind.

“What’s gotten into you? What the fuck are you talking about? Are you even in your senses? You’re just talking out of your ass at this point.” Zadkiel was so confused and was scared as well.

“Get out of my room!”