Chapter 37 - Insecurities

“Did he tell you guys about me? I mean about my short life?” Zadkiel questioned Nora as they were sitting in the living room while everyone else was off to work, including Abel who refused the job Irvin had given him and found himself a new job.

“He did,” Nora replied, turning the volume of the TV down and faced Zadkiel.

“Then why did you let him do this to himself? Who was the girl he was marrying?” Zadkiel shifted in his seat.

“Vanessa. She lost her alpha in a car accident.” Nora informed. “And Zadkiel, you need to stop speaking like you don’t matter. You’re Irvin’s mate. Even if you are dying, no one can separate you two. It’s against the law. Plus I wouldn’t do something like that ever.” Nora frowned at him.

“Irvin told me, an omega without an alpha dies really quickly. Irvin was going to marry her which gave her hope to live but then he didn’t. That’s cruel you know.” Zadkiel gave her a look.

“Do you know that omegas don’t want to live without their alpha that’s why they die? It’s because of the emptiness and complete sorrow they dwell themselves into that don’t let them live. We offered Vanessa a solution to get out of it and she straight up declined but then she agreed considering the pack needed a Luna. We always put pack before ourselves.” Nora responded.

“I want to talk to her. Just to see if she’s really okay.” Zadkiel requested.

“Yes you can talk to her but I don’t think you quite understand what I’m saying,” Nora spoke, now turning off the television.

“Tell me?”

“Zadkiel, an omega dies of depression and the constant pain he’s in after their alpha’s demise. Look at it this way, when an omega has kids with the alpha and the alpha dies then the omega has more chance at life as the physical pain is there but mentally they know their pups need them. As they say, if you’re physically ill, you can get better without help but when you’re mentally disturbed, you may need a hand of help. Omega can be saved if they can find solace in another alpha other than their mates but that’s 1 in 100 cases because omegas who have mated with their alphas, can’t forget their alpha that easily. Vanessa’s mate died in a car crash and she had mated with him. She was just ready to marry Irvin because she had to put the pack before her. There was no guarantee if they would be happy together. When we told her that Irvin found his mate, she was more than happy to call off the wedding.” Nora explained it to her.

“Same goes for rejection?” Zadkiel was really curious. Every day he was discovering something new.

“This hurts more,” Nora replied.

Zadkiel just nodded his head and tried to digest the information he was given. He always learned something new when he was with Nora and he loved spending time with her.

He was also now less concerned about Vanessa as he accepted that it’s the way Moon Goddess made everything. It was in werewolves’ nature to not accept anyone after their mate. He couldn’t do anything about Vanessa’s choice.

“All of this seems so magical. I never thought this would be like real.” Zadkiel sighed, sitting back and resting his back against the couch.

“Well, it isn’t magical. It’s just next-level natural shit. You know, super natural.” Nora chuckled.

“Does Luna really has to stay home?” Zadkiel spoke, getting bored out of his mind. There was so much he could talk about with Nora and TV never interested him. He wasn’t into video games or movies as well. So, he just needed some work in his life to not get bored.

“When Alpha of the pack is not home, the Luna is the leader of the pack. She manages everything. It’s like King and Queen. After King, Queen is the leader. So, yeah. Luna pretty much stays home.” Nora answered him, lolling her head back as well.

“What am I supposed to do at home, when Irvin isn’t home?” Zadkiel was so bored that he was getting sleepy again.

“Well, you can always go to the head office to check on whatever is going on. Involve yourself in the politics.” Nora winked at him. Zadkiel smiled, liking the idea of this.

“Okay, I’m going.” Zadkiel stood up and smoothed the creases in his clothes. Nora gave him a thumbs up before turning on the TV again. Zadkiel guided himself out of the house and straight to the head office.

When he entered the office, everyone looked at him and bowed their head to show respect. Zadkiel was surprised but his ego liked that very much. He internally smiled and nodded to respond to them.

He read the names on the doors and when he read Irvin’s name, he entered the room. He knew he shouldn’t have gone in there but something in him wanted to go inside.

He looked around the office, scanning the new furniture. He could even smell the fresh polish on it. The wall to the left had a lot of shields hanging on it. It surprised Zadkiel that Irvin had so many shields at such a young age. Some of them were for swimming, some for archery, some for combats and many more.

Zadkiel turned around and made his way to the grand revolving chair behind the desk that screamed authority and looked old compared to the other furniture. He smiled at the thought of Irvin sitting on it with a smug face knowing he was the leader of the pack because Irvin was as narcissistic as that.

He traced the chair before sitting on it. He was about to rotate the chair when he was hit with some visions.

“Mr Caddel, my sources say they are jealous of our Luna’s powers. They fear us and you know when there is fear, people try to remove the cause of it.” A bald man said to a person sitting right on the chair where Zadkiel was sitting. Zadkiel couldn’t see the face of the man who was on the chair, who the bald man was referring to as Mr Caddel.

“Your sources are wrong, Victor. Ford are like our family. Silver Heart pack is no threat to us.” Zadkiel heard Mr Caddel say in his deep voice, dripping with power and trust.

“Since the death of Atlas Ford, his son Edmond Ford has gone mad. I think we can expect anything from them now.” The bald man warned.

“I’m not turning against our best friends because of your source. We are never going to attack the Silver Heart pack. That’s my final decision.” Mr Caddel said in authority.

Zadkiel was so close to seeing his face when he stood up from his chair but then the vision ended, leaving Zadkiel startled and confused. He couldn’t even guess what was happening.

He was still in his thoughts and he didn’t know how much time had passed when the door to the office flung open and Irvin stepped in. Zadkiel stood up in reflex.

“I was told you’d be here so, I directly came here,” Irvin spoke, closing the door behind. Zadkiel gave that one-second smile of nervousness.

“Do you like my office?” Irvin questioned, walking towards Zadkiel who looked around and smiled, a genuine one this time.

“Yeah… my most favourite part is that shield wall.” Zadkiel gestured towards the wall. Irvin gave it a momentary glance before looking back at Zadkiel and grabbing his hand in both.

“I just live to see you,” Irvin spoke in such a low, romantic voice that it caught Zadkiel off guard because the dialogue came out of nowhere.

A blush appeared on Zadkiel’s face as he ducked down his head to stare at the floor which he found more interesting than anything in his surroundings. He was shocked to see this side of Irvin that made an appearance in the middle of a conversation.

“You came early today?” Zadkiel tried to change the topic because he was way too shy to continue this whole romance game.

Irvin shook his head, chuckling lightly as he pulled Zadkiel closer to him and dipped down to attach his lips to Zadkiel’s which again made Zadkiel turn into a tomato but he responded properly for the kiss but no matter how much he denied it, he wanted Irvin more than Irvin wanted him and that goes for every single second.

“I’m sorry for just throwing the words around but when I’m with you, words just flow out of my mouth on their own,” Irvin murmured, looking softly at Zadkiel. Zadkiel could see the sparkle in Irvin’s eyes whenever they saw him and he always felt so loved whenever he looked at them staring at him or felt them staring at him, thinking he didn’t know what they were doing.

“Let’s have a coffee.” Irvin offered, sitting on the chair and pulling Zadkiel on his lap. Zadkiel’s shy ass couldn’t sit still on Irvin so he jumped up to sit before him on the table.

“You’re so adorable,” Irvin commented on his act. Zadkiel rolled his eyes only to hide his blush.

“This is the pack headquarter where you hold meetings and discuss the problems related to the pack, and the one in the city is the main office, like a proper business which fills your stomach, right?” Zadkiel changed the topic again.

This time Irvin let him because he didn’t want to make Zadkiel uncomfortable. He put up a finger to Zadkiel as if saying one minute before picking up the phone to order two cups of coffee and returned his attention to Zadkiel afterwards.

“Yes. In other words, this is your office. When an Alpha isn’t around, the pack leader is Luna and I’m never here so this is your office.” Irvin informed Zadkiel which he already knew. Thanks to Anne.

“I can’t make decisions related to pack. I can help you in your decisions.” Zadkiel honestly admitted. He never took control of anything in his life so he never knew how to make a decision himself.

Irvin held Zadkiel’s hand, choosing not to discuss it for now. He looked up at Zadkiel with so much of an intense stare that Zadkiel squirmed under his gaze. He was so intimidated by it.

“I swear I’ve never seen someone more beautiful than you.” Irvin complimented Zadkiel who smiled and replied “I’ve also never seen someone more beautiful than myself.” He giggled after that to add more cuteness to his words.

“I’m falling in love with this sound.” Irvin sighed.

“Don’t be such a sap, Alpha.” Zadkiel frowned at him. Irvin was about to stand up and tickle him to hear more of that giggle when someone knocked on the door.

“Yes?” Irvin answered.

A lady in a formal dress entered with two cups of coffee, having on a tray in her hands. She almost looked like Victoria’s Secret model. She was so pretty that it looked like she just walked straight out of a Disney movie. Absolutely gorgeous and delicate with her walk, as if she would hurt the feelings of the floor.

“Hey, Vanessa.”