Ryan Reign: Chapter 11

After we’ve finished our tea and eaten some of Em’s homemade ginger biscuits, Aoife and I go into the garden. It is a truly beautiful place. Em has so many wildflowers growing. The wild jasmine smells incredible and she has promised to make me some soaps with it and send them out to New York. Seeing her and Shane together has been so lovely. I see a completely different side of him with her. He is sweet and helpful and gracious, and he rarely curses in front of her.

“How long have you known Shane?” Aoife asks.

“Umm. About nine months now.”

“How did you meet?” she asks with a smile.

Hmm. He blew up my old boss’s house and then threatened to kill me too, but I persuaded him and his brothers to kidnap me instead. “Through work,” I say.

“Oh. Have you always lived in New York?”

“Umm. No. I’ve moved around a lot.”

“Really? I’ve never left Ireland. Your life sounds so exciting.”

Too exciting.

“It just sounds wonderful,” she says with a soft sigh.

“Yet your life seems so wonderful to me,” I smile at her.

I hadn’t heard Shane walking up behind us and he startles me as he slips a hand around my waist. “We should get going soon, sweetheart.”

“Oh, let me get you that recipe for Irish stew before you go,” Aoife says. “My mammy makes the best, I swear.”

“Thank you,” I say with a smile as I watch her disappear back into the house.

“Did you mean that?” Shane asks when we are alone.

“What?” I frown in confusion.

“That Aoife’s life seems wonderful?”

“Well, yes. Imagine living here and never having to worry about some psychopath trying to murder you. She’s in love with Noel. They’re getting married. They have a lovely baby on the way. Of course it seems wonderful. For someone else, anyway,” I sigh and tears unexpectedly prick my eyes.

Shane slides his other arm around my waist and pulls me closer him. “I can see you living in a house like this. With a huge garden and six kids running around your feet.”

“You can?” I smile at him.

“Yes.” He brushes a strand of hair from my face. “In another life, maybe I could have been standing right beside you.”

“But not this life?” I ask as my heart feels like it’s about to break. I had never realized how good a normal life could be, and now that I’ve had a glimpse of it, I wonder if it will always make me wonder what if. He knows it too and I sense something shifting between us.

“If this is the life you want, Jessie, I would give that to you,” he swallows.

I blink at him. “You would?”

“If you wanted marriage and babies, you could have that,” he breathes. “With Conor.”

“With Conor?” I frown at him. What the hell is he on about?

“I told you I’ll never get married or have kids.”

“What about the twins?”

“They would never leave each other. They would get over it eventually, if they knew you were happy.”

“And what about Conor? Does he get any say in you marrying us off and becoming a dad to six kids?”

“Are you kidding?” he laughs softly. “He would fucking love it.”

“Are you being serious, Shane? You really think that’s what I want?”

“I’m just saying that you don’t have to give up on that life if that’s what you really want.”

“You think I don’t want to be with you?” I blink a tear away because he is breaking my heart here. “Don’t you want this any more?”

“Of course I do. I love you, sweetheart. More than anything in the world, and that’s why I would never stand in the way of your happiness. I want you to at least think about it.”

“There’s nothing to think about, Shane!” I snap at him but then Aoife and Em are walking over to us and the conversation is over, at least for now.