one: so I'm runaway bride

Just as I was about to open the bedroom door, I heard a giggle.

"Babe, just like that..."

I froze where I stood, my hand on the doorknob.

"You're gonna miss this, babe."

"Hmmmmm... we'll only be gone a week..."

"Don't go."

"Naomi, babe..."

"Her father is gonna be here for graduation, why do you have to...."

"I gotta look sincere. Take the initiative."

What is happening here? Naomi? Who's Naomi? My Naomi? My ROOMMATE, Naomi?

What...

I started shivering. Why am I cold? Why was someone dragging ice cubes up and down my skin?

"Oh...babe..."

Should burst in on them? Make a big noise?

"Finn, God, I love you...."

"Me too, baby..."

Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit...

I ran away. As I hit the landing, I felt the heaving at the back of my throat and turned just in time to puke in a plant.

Ew. Gross.

I flung myself down the stairs, out the building door and down the sidewalk. My sandals pinched my toes but I hardly felt it.

Had to get away. Had to get away.

I turned and began running up the ramps of the parking garage, trying to remember where I'd parked. Then I froze.

Where was my purse?

Crap. I must have dropped it along the way. I pivoted and began running back down the ramps and practically into an oncoming car. It honked and I jumped out of the way, grabbing the rail with both arms and randomly noticing the grime it left on my arms. With a long breath, I tried to steady myself and headed back down at a slower pace.

At the sidewalk, I turned and slammed into a chest.

"Hey..."

"Sorry," I mumbled, pushing past the guy and tripping on my own toes.

"Whoa..." he held out a bare arm to steady me.

"Sorry," I said again, pissed off and dizzy and confused.

"Are you..."

I ran off down the sidewalk and into the lobby of Finn's small apartment building and began hiking back up the stairs.

"Babe!"

My chest practically exploded in surprise. I looked around, half-expecting Finn to be standing there.

"Babe! Come on...you can't leave me like this."

They were a flight of stairs above me. If I had just turned the corner...I could take them, I was sure of it. I'd taken two semesters of tae kwan do. Absolutely. I lifted my foot and realized that I was missing a shoe. What the...?

A glint up on the next flight of stairs. My phone! My purse! I was saved!

I leaned out of sight again when Naomi began screeching; "MARRY her? For real?? The plan was to get engaged, Finn! The plan was to get her father to notice you and help you! This is bullshit!"

"It's for us, babe! I'm dead serious about our future. Aren't you? Aren't you willing to do anything for our careers?"

"Not anything," Naomi argued, her voice practically a hiss. "There are some things that I wouldn't do. I have standards. I thought you did, too."

"Babe, please..."

There was a long silence and I could actually hear my blood pumping through my body as I slowly reached out my hand. My fingertips – retro French manicure for the win! ­– just caught the edge. While my mind raged at what a fool I'd been, I hummed the theme from Mission Impossible in my mind as I tugged the tiny strap on my bag and flipped it into my hand.

The phone fell right into the silk lining with a quiet 'woosh'.

The only graceful moment I'd had in years.

"All right," Finn's voice was rough. "It won't be legal. Can you handle that? We've got the license but –"

"YOU GOT A LICENSE?!!"

I practically fell backward, putting a hand out to stop from falling.

"What was that?"

I started shivering again. What if they looked down the stairs? What if they saw me? Would I kick him? Would I face them? Would they face me?

"Don't change the subject! You seriously got a marriage license? Without telling me? Oh my God, how could you?"

"I had to, all right? She was relentless! It was either get married or she would have left me!"

"I can NOT believe you! You're so..."

A door slammed. The quiet told me they'd gone back into the apartment.

I'm relentless. I'm...what? A fool.

I couldn't breathe. My chest felt like a boulder had been dropped on it. Reaching out for the railing, I stumbled back down to the lobby and back out to the sidewalk. A blast of heat almost knocked me back – late spring in the South. Seemed appropriate that it felt like hell.

There, on the low sill of the window, was my missing shoe. With a sigh, I slipped it back on my foot. I could feel the pinching with every step but pushed forward up the sidewalk to the parking garage. Climbing back up the ramps was torture. At last, my old Kia came into view. It was like seeing a long-lost friend.

I collapsed against the door as I fished the keys out. I practically dropped them when the phone rang in my hand. Katie. I was already sobbing by the time I answered.

"What's wrong? Ali? Say something."

"You were right," I could barely make the words out.

"Ali! Are you all right? Where are you? I can barely understand you."

I hobbled towards the outside wall for better reception. A few clouds were starting to puff around the sky but the heat was still rising. "This better?"

"You're crying! What happened?"

I told her in as few words as possible. She repeated each phrase like it was unbelievable.

"You roommate, Naomi? The one who kept stealing your stuff?"

"Borrowing," I corrected absently.

"Is that what she was doing with Finn? Borrowing? Oh. My. God!"

I tried to take deep breaths. "I think Finn was hers first. Remember? She introduced us, and..."

"Alice! Don't do this! I hate when you do this! This is NOT your fault! No, no, no...they set you up! And then she was gonna just reveal it was all a joke? I could kill them both. Don't think I couldn't. I've got access to spear guns, you know."

"Yes, you do," I sighed. I was running out of tears and ached all over. "But they aren't worth the jail time."

"That's fair. But for sure, march back into the apartment building and get all your stuff!"

"I can't," I said miserably. "I just can't. Katie, help me."

"Fine, fine, I get it," she relented. "Your feet hurting?"

"Yeah."

"I knew those shoes were crap," she muttered. "I would almost say this is what you get for trying to elope while I'm on the other side of the planet but...All right, mom just texted me that you should go to our house. There's a spare key in a secret rock. Stay as long as you want she says, except they're home in a week and you know dad..."

Her father was a famous curmudgeon. He honestly should have been named Oscar. "Yeah, a week should be plenty of time to figure out my life, thanks."

"Are you being ironic right now?"

"No. Just...sad."

"I'm so sorry, Ali. This sucks."

"It really does," I wiped my face with my hand and took a deep breath. "But I'm gonna be all right."

"Of course you are! Call me when you get to the house, OK?"

I hung up and headed back to my car, reaching in the little purse for my keys and the parking ticket. I slipped in behind the wheel. It took a moment to realize something was wrong.

Where was the 'ding' telling me to do my seatbelt?

I turned the key and...nothing. Of course. Because this was my life now? Disaster after disaster? I let my head drop on the steering wheel in utter surrender.

Suddenly, a booming crack of thunder made me jump straight up in my seat. As it reverberated outside, a few cars flipped into a security tizzy – flashing and beeping.

No time for self-pity. I had to get to Katie's house before the heavens opened up. I had to get there before Finn showed up for our 'wedding' and started calling to find me. I had to move even though every part of my body felt weighed down.

I forced myself to gather up my stuff and then limped down to the entrance. I kept hidden behind a pillar until the ride service showed up. Steam was literally floating over the hot pavement as the first bit of rain spit.

The gray sedan stopped and I jumped in like I'd robbed a bank, sure that Finn would pop out of his building at any second. "Go!" I pleaded.

The driver didn't ask about my disastrous make-up and dirty wedding dress. I didn't offer.

She played cringe soft-rock and I stared out the window. The town faded into long stretches of green. The rain started to hit the windshield harder. I hadn't been to Katie's in years but I recognized it immediately.

You don't forget the good places from your childhood.

I jogged up the path to the front porch. And stopped.

The rock bed along the edge had grown. Tripled, maybe.

"Katie!," I shouted over the rain into my phone. "There are a million stones now! Which one is the secret key thing?"

"Uh...it's gray. And round! Close to the right bannister."

"Gray and round? That's not gonna help!" I hunched down and scanned. "OK, my right or your right?"

"Uh, your right if you're facing the door!"

I began fondling each rock like a madwoman as the water was streaming down my back. "Katie, are you sure? The front door, right?"

"Yes! The right bannister facing the front door! Like maybe one big step away!"

I tucked my little purse under my arm and got on all fours in a fast-growing puddle. None of them had a secret compartment. I started to shiver.

"Did you find it?" She asked, yelling from Australia.

"No!"

"OK, mom just texted. She said maybe it kind of rolled under the steps after she put the key in!"

With a deep breath, I began crawling into the dim. I felt a sharp point dig into my knee and yelped as I scurried around. There were about a dozen stones but none looked big enough. Then I spotted one deeper back under the porch.

I headed towards it, hopeful.

Something brushed on my foot.

I felt a pinch and began screaming. OH MY GOD THAT HURT.

I turned on the flashlight in my phone and almost threw up. Spiders. A bunch of them!

"HOLY FREAKING SHIT!!!!!!!" I scrambled back out to out to the grass at the speed of hysteria and rolled around in the wet grass, screaming for my life.

"ALI? ALICIA?!?!" Katie's voice echoed from my phone. "What's going on? Talk to me!"

"Spiders! Katie, I think I just got bit by a tarantula!!"

There was silence.

"Katie! I could be dying!" I winced as I put my left foot down began trying to stand up. A needle of pain shot up my leg. My phone dropped from my hand onto the path but was still glowing.

I grabbed it back up praying it was as waterproof as advertised. "Katie?!"

"Ali, sweetie, calm down. There are no native tarantulas by us and even if there were, they are not dangerous to humans."

"Well, I'm bit and it hurts like you wouldn't believe."

"You sure it was a spider?"

"I AM TOTALLY SURE," I limped through the rain down the path and looked to see if the gray sedan was still in sight. Stupid idea, she was long gone.

"OK, head one of the neighbors! Have them take a look and see if you need an ambulance."

In front of me was an older farmhouse, lit up and looking a little welcoming. Well, anyway, it had a front porch that looked dry and spider-free.

Gritting my teeth, I dragged myself up and rang the doorbell.

No answer. No car in the driveway.

I collapsed on one of the wooden chairs and lifted my leg up. "I'm across the street. Nobody's home."

"Then go to another house," she urged as though I was a little child.

"I will," I promised. "Just give me second."

The pain was getting worse. The bulge on the heel of my foot was swelling up like a ping pong ball. It was excruciating.

"Ali...are you there? OK, just call 911. Do it. I can't from here, sweetie. You gotta do it. Can you? Say something!"

"I will call," I promised, disconnecting with her. I took a few deep breaths and squinted at the home screen trying to focus.

9991....Wrong.

Tap.

991. Crap, I did it wrong again.

What the hell is wrong with my fingers?

Headlights bobbled through the rain as a truck pulled up the drive. The slam of a door. I peered out at the yard praying for help...

Waited, watched...

Long legs, wide shoulders, dark hair and blue eyes slowly came into focus. A second blurry person followed slowly.

"Who are you?"

"Alice." My tongue felt a little numb. I pointed to my foot. "Owie"

"Owie?"

The thick curls came nearer. Pretty, pretty curls like curly fries. I reached for them.

He shouted and pulled back, startling me and making me dizzier. "Hey! Hey, what..."

And then the world faded away.