seventeen: Is this a date?

I called Finn.

I know, I know...stupid.

I'm all for starving the trolls under the bridge but, for real, I couldn't handle the scenes anymore. So I went through my phone bills and found his number. I sat with it for a while and then decided it was time.

I set up a meeting for Thursday afternoon.

We met at Cracker Barrel. A place where he normally wouldn't be caught dead. When I arrived, he was already seated and ripping apart a biscuit with his hands and eating bits of it.

I sat down across from him and ordered a sweet tea.

Finn rolled his head from side to side as though considering all my parts. "You came."

"I said I would and that I would pay."

"Which is bullshit because there's nothing edible."

"Chicken caesar salad, dressing on the side. And a small vanilla milkshake."

"They aren't any milkshakes on the menu."

"They'll make one for you," I promised.

30 minutes later he was slurping the milkshake happily. I clinked glasses with my tea. Realizing this was as good as it would get, I poked the bear...

"Finn, my dad was never going to help you. I don't know who gave you the idea that he would but it was a lie."

"You're just saying that because you were petty and now you want to act all Gwyneth taking the high road. We all know that isn't true."

I exhaled slowly, counting to ten. "My father has never, ever hired anyone because of an association with one of his family members."

He shook his head, completely unbelieving.

Luckily, I had prepared.

I pulled up my phone: "This is my half-brother, Miko. He dated Ruby Lindsey, the actress from the zombie movie..."

"Hey, I know her! She's in Taylor Swift's squad!"

"Yes. And here is the announcement that she was being considered for a lead in Milk Run - two months before they started dating, see that? Ok and here's the TMZ of them dating. And here's the announcement that she's been dropped from consideration. And here is the Just Jared of them breaking up."

He pulled my phone close and stared at the screen. Then he handed it back. "But..."

"Finn, I want you to forgive me."

"What?" He looked startled.

"I grew up really sheltered. My mom hates my dad and everything he stands for. She really worked hard to keep me far away from Hollywood. So I didn't understand your Hollywood-style dating."

His puzzled expression was almost silly but I kept a straight face.

"I should have told you upfront about Dad's policy. He absolutely will never hire personal connections. End of story. Not his wives, not his kids, not people he knows through his kids. He got burned early in his career hiring some relatives."

I flipped over to an old interview where Dad had said that very thing to Rolling Stone. As he read it off my phone, Finn almost looked like he wanted to cry.

"If I'd been raised in Hollywood, then I would have known to tell you this right at the start..."

"Damn right... I mean, all that work!" he groaned. "I walked you to your car how many times? And I cleaned out a cabinet for you!! I would have married you!! You would have been my first wife! Right there on my Wikipedia page forever!"

I winced, feeling a dozen pinpricks all over my body as I realized how little he'd cared for me as a person. Taking a deep breath, I met his eyes again. "I didn't know my value to you was through my dad, Finn. And I didn't know that you didn't do monogamy."

"I'm an ACTOR, Alice. How could you not know?"

"Yeah, how could I have missed it?"

"Wow, you and Naomi really DID play me, huh?"

"I didn't play you, Finn."

"Really? You didn't want a guy with these looks to show off to your family?" He indicated his smile and body. "Because you sure acted like you did."

"OK, I'm sorry. Whatever our motivations, though...we had fun, right?"

Finn shrugged. "Maybe you had fun, but I wasted 4 months. There was NEVER any payoff, was there? And I'm in peak form and I'm not getting younger..."

I leaned back, hurt.

He noticed and nibbled his lip.

Maybe he remembered that my father sure could hurt him. Or maybe it was kindness. But Finn leaned across the table and squeezed my hand. "It was nice having you there at closing, like my own groupie. You made me laugh, too. A word of advice, though? Get your shit straight with Naomi. And maybe lose some weight. I always wanted to tell you that. You'd be banging if you lost maybe 15 pounds. An asset to your dad's image, you know? Remember that juice cleanse I was on?"

I opened my mouth and then closed it. Before I kicked him in the balls, I took the bill and pulled out my wallet. "So, we good?"

"Yeah, we good," Finn nodded. "I really appreciate you apologizing to me like this."

I rolled my eyes and turned. Right into Naomi, who was obviously filming me on her phone. "Finn?"

"You two play nice," Finn instructed. He pocketed the money I'd left as a tip and walked out, tossing a quick smile at Naomi as he passed.

I pushed out my bottom lip and blew the hair out of my face. "What do you want, Naomi?"

"Oh, you're talking to me now?"

"You filming me is super intrusive. Stop."

"You just don't want anyone to know what you're really like. Man-stealing cheap bitch."

"Finn thought he could get something from me."

"Finn is Finn. Takes two to tango and you wanted to dance with MY guy."

"I don't know your damage, but it's severe. Get help." I marched off to the cashier to pay the bill. Naomi followed. I leaned over the counter and said, "this woman is harassing me and filming me without my consent. I may need to call the police. Is she a customer?"

"Ma'am, please put down your phone," the clerk called to Naomi.

She huffed and marched off to the exit.

I browsed the gift shop for maybe 30 minutes before leaving, getting a few toys for Levi and some biscuit mix for the cabin.

Naomi was gone when I finally hopped in my car.

Jeb's flight was delayed and he returned late, late Friday night. I tried to wait up but couldn't. So I was shocked when he hammered on my door at 7AM. "Rise and shine!"

I rolled out of bed and into the bathroom before eventually poking my head out. He'd made eggs and bacon and Levi was eating two-fisted.

"That's what you're wearing?" He asked, eyeing the fuchsia sundress and flats.

"Um, for sightseeing? Yeah." Summer was my color season and I was going to rock the bright colors. Plus? The sundress was super flattering. I may have twirled to make the point.

"Not that kind of sightseeing. You got jeans and kicks? Comfy ones?"

"Jeans? It's like 100 degrees out!" What was going on?

"Then just pack them. Trust me?"

I surrendered and headed back in my room to pack a small bag.

"How was your first full week of work?" He called after me.

"Uh, well, I inherited a bunch of projects in mid-stream. But it seemed to go OK. The kids are great. "

I returned with my small duffel. He slipped a full plate in front of me and then sat opposite.

"What did Levi's class do?"

"Flower glass sculpture. Gonna blow your mind."

He lifted his eyebrows at me and nodded towards Levi, who had eggs in his nose. "Tell me you got him blowing glass."

"OK, I admit it - we use coffee filters instead of glass. We make a pan of different colored paints and let the kids dip and spread the paint on the coffee filters. Then I put the filters over a shape and use spray starch on them. Once they dry, I'll use fat pipe cleaners to make them into flowers. Inspired by an artist named Chihuly."

"Ah. Can't wait," he winked at me and my heart flipped. "You're having fun."

"I really am." I rinsed the plates and he rinsed Levi and we hit he road.

It was Mrs. Burgess's birthday. We swung by a grocery store and Jeb let Levi pick a bunch of flowers before grabbing some fresh fruit and a few other things. Mrs Burgess had her sister over, who was in worse shape than she was. Luckily, there were a bunch of younger people over from her church all ready to help.

We stayed for a while, sharing pictures of Levi's room at the cabin and the Montessori school. Levi contentedly sat on Mrs. Burgess' lap while she cried how big he was and how much he'd grown and how he had her daughter's smile. I took a few pictures of them and some big group shots as well.

Finally, Jeb told Mrs. Burgess we would be back after dinner and we slipped away.

"Where to?"

"You'll see," he smiled at me.

We'll pulled up at parking lot underneath a State Park sign. Jeb turned. "How do you feel about hiking?"

"You mean, walking without sidewalks?"

"Yeah!" He bounced out of the truck and pulled a loaded backpack out of the bed. "Surprise!"

I tried not to look underwhelmed while pulling on my jeans under my dress and lacing up my shoes. I smeared some sunscreen on my face and then sprayed bug repellent everywhere. It's possible I looked like I was preparing to walk the plank.

"Ready?" He had tossed on a flannel and then shouldered the backpack over it. "This is one of my favorite hiking areas. I first came here on a field trip as a kid."

"Good times?"

He nodded and led the way. I followed. It wasn't super-strenuous but I did fumble a bit. There was a cable trail over a few complicated rock mounds - I'd never done that before. There were also roots and things in the path I had to keep watch for.

Mostly we walked single file but where the terrain opened up, Jeb slowed until we were side by side. We didn't talk much, though he stopped here and there to show me things like poison ivy and hemlock. And a snake.

All very romantic, if I was a bear.

Then he stopped us in front of a narrow bridge.

"That looks dicey," I shook my head. "Is there a way around?"

A family popped out near us with two small children. They raced over the bridge like they'd done it a million times.

"Not dicey," Jeb promised. "If you're nervous, just keep your hands on the sides as you go."

"Jeb?!" I called after him.

"Come on! Great waterfalls ahead!"

Taking a deep breath, I put one foot on the bridge. It swayed, slightly. Oh, God save me. I promise never again to eat Cheetos if I can just make it over this...

"Come on!" Halfway across, Jeb had stopped and turned. "Don't be scared!"

"Excuse me? You do not get to tell me when and when not to be scared! I am an independent woman with a college degree and I know how to assess risk, OK?"

"One foot in front of the other..."

"And I've been walking since before I was a year old, I'll have you know, so just hold your horses here."

"You can do it!"

"Of course I can do it. The question is, will I? Because I'm not even..."

"Yes, you are!" He smiled at me. I hadn't realized he'd been walking the bridge backward the whole time. Asshole had tricked me into crossing the whole thing.

"I did it," I grinned. "I walked the bridge of death!!"

Another family passed us, laughing.

"Yeah, you did it," Jeb nodded. "I'm proud of you." He slipped an arm around me and gave me a quick side hug. Then he let go and began leading the way towards another path.

"Jeb?" I called, not moving. My blood was still whooshing in my ears from anxiety of crossing the bridge and I was scratching where something had bitten my neck.

"Alice?" He turned to face me.

I took a breath and released it, trying to talk myself out of asking.

But then, I had to. "Jeb? Is this a date?"