Chapter 50

Nayeon has been worrying about Y/N ever since last night. She didn't sound that good on the phone and it was clear that Y/N wasn't okay. Nayeon really wants to go to her right now, but she doesn't want to make the same mistakes as she did in the past. Y/N told her that she wants to be alone, so Nayeon will respect that. She doesn't want to push her to tell her what happened and what's wrong. She knows Y/N will tell herself when she's ready. Just when Nayeon was thinking about Y/N, her doorbell rang.

"Who could it be?" Nayeon asked herself.

"Y/N?" Nayeon asked when she opened the door. She didn't expect for Y/N to show up at her door.

"I bought some breakfast. Mind if I share it with you?" Y/N smiled with raised eyebrows.

"Come in." Nayeon widened the door and Y/N entered.

"I know it's a bit late for breakfast, but see it as lunch."

"I hadn't eaten yet, so this is perfect." Nayeon smiled and put her arms around Y/N's neck.

"Me neither, I wanted to eat with you." Y/N smiled. Y/N sounds pretty different then she did on the phone last night. She sounds better.

"Then let's eat." Nayeon pecked her girlfriend's lips.

"You look like you want to ask me something." Y/N noticed how Nayeon was looking at her when they were eating. Y/N knows this look. It's the same look when she wants to ask something, but can't.

"Oh no, no. I have nothing to ask."

"Babe, you can ask me anything. Go ahead."

"I was just wondering what happened yesterday. You don't have to tell me though. Only tell me if you want to." The last thing Nayeon wants is for Y/N to feel pressured to talk about it.

"Why are you so hesitant about asking? You're my girlfriend, you can ask me anything. Especially things like this."

"You didn't like it in the past." Y/N always got annoyed when Nayeon asked her personal questions.

"That was back then. I don't think the same way anymore. I was going to tell you anyways, that's why I came here." Y/N informed.

"Yah! Choi Y/N! Why did you ask me when you were going to tell me anyways?"

"Just to annoy you." Y/N winked.

"Fuck you." Nayeon pouted.

"Let's just continue eating and I'll tell you after we're done eating, okay?" Y/N asked and Nayeon nodded. After they finished their breakfast they cleaned up the table and sat down on the couch.

"Don't you have work? I thought you were working today." Nayeon asked.

"I have to go to work in about an hour."

"Oh okay, that's good. Then I can finish grading the assignments while you're at work."

"So what happened? Did he hurt you?" Nayeon asked as she cuddled onto Y/N.

"No, don't worry about that. He didn't even touch me but I did found out some things that I don't know how to exactly deal with." Y/N admitted.

"What did you find out?"

"Well, I asked why he keeps bothering me and my friends even though I already knew the answer."

"He wants you to become a gangster, doesn't he?" Everyone knows what Mr. Choi's motive is by now.

"Yes." Y/N sighed.

"That's kinda expectable since you're his only child."

"That's the thing, I'm not his only child."

"Wait, what? I thought you were an only child?" Nayeon pulled herself away from Y/N, so that she could see her face.

"I'm the only child from my mom, but he has children from other women. I have never met them, but I remember my parents talking about how my dad got multiple women pregnant. Apparently my older brother is in the gang." Y/N explained

"What? Do you know him?"

"Yeah, even you know him. It's Jimin."

"Are you serious? Oh my God." Nayeon is quite shocked by this new information.

"Are you sure that's true? I mean they could be lying."

"I'm pretty sure unnie. It all makes sense now. He acted like he cared about me, but turns out he was just keeping an eye on me and telling everything about me to my dad. My dad literally knows everything about me. Remember my previous guardian? It was his doing. Apparently she's a gang member as well. He knows about Jungkook's dad, how I dated you, how I got expelled, how you got fired, how we got exposed. He knows all my friends and literally just everything. It's creepy."

"How does he even know all of that? He was in prison for God's sake." Nayeon asked.

"He kept asking people to basically stalk me around." Y/N said in frustration.

"How do you feel about Jimin being your brother?"

"I don't really care to be honest. It's just frustrating how he acted like my friend, but turns out he was a spy."

"Does Taehyung know? And Sana?" Nayeon asked.

"Taehyung knows, I'm not sure about Sana unnie but she probably knows as well. They just kept it from me." Y/N sighed once again. She can literally trust no one.

"I also found out that my dad killed Minju's uncle."

"Wait, what? Why?" Nayeon knows the man is a murderer, yet she's still surprised.

"I'm not sure. I knew that Minju's dad and my dad are enemies but I never knew why. That's why I didn't want to make my relationship with Minju public, because I know her family wouldn't approve. Apparently my dad told him that the two of us dated. I think that's the reason why Minju is working in that restaurant. Her dad might have thrown her out."

"Would he really do that? Minju's dad?"

"Yeah. He hates my dad so much that he would." Y/N answered.

"That's just fucked up. Your dad is even worse than I thought."'

"You don't even know half of it." Y/N said weakly. Nayeon would just run away if she knows how many bad things her dad actually did.

"You said that you don't really care but you seem bothered." Nayeon noticed how Y/N's expression changed after a short silence, she seems to be in deep thoughts.

"He said some things to me that are true, but that I don't want to accept."

"What are those things?" Y/N always had a hard time explaining her feelings. Her answers are always short and ambiguous, so Nayeon always has to keep asking if she wants a clear answer. But luckily Y/N has improved and she's better at it now.

"That I'm evil. I know you're going to say that I'm not, but I am. It's the truth that I never wanted to accept, hell I still can't accept it, but like he said it's in my blood. No matter how much I improve there will always be a little part in me that's going to be evil, that's going to want to do bad things. I don't do bad things anymore, but that doesn't mean that I don't think about it. Sometimes I get the urge to do bad things but now I can manage to ignore that." Y/N explained.

"Y/N what are you trying to say?" Nayeon doesn't really understand where Y/N is coming from.

"I'm trying to say that you shouldn't get deceived. I might look like I have changed and that I'm a way better person now, but inside there's still that part that's never going to disappear. I'm telling you now, so that you don't get surprised in the future." Y/N looked down as she played with her fingers, which is something she does when she's nervous.

"Y/N, look at me." Nayeon cupped Y/N's face.

"Don't you think I already know that? I never expected for you to change entirely, that's just impossible. You had a traumatic childhood and grew up around gangsters, it's very normal for you to have an evil side. The important thing is just that you can manage to control it, which you're doing well right now. When I accepted to be your girlfriend, I already knew this Y/N. Don't worry about that, okay? I accept you as you are."

"I love you." Y/N smiled weakly.

"I do too, a lot." Nayeon answered and Y/N leaned forward to kiss her girlfriend. After a slow loving kiss the two pulled away.

"You know, the main reason why I want to become a cop is because I don't want to become a gangster. I thought about this all night long, I realized that the will to become a cop is actually the will of becoming a gangster." Y/N admitted.

"You want to become a gangster?" Nayeon furrowed her eyebrows. Aish why is Y/N so hard to understand sometimes?

"No, no. Of course not, never. But I do want to do the things that gangsters do. I enjoy threatening people, I enjoy being angry, I just enjoy all the adrenaline that comes with it."

"But you haven't done all of that in a long time."

"Exactly, and that's why I feel empty. I feel like I'm freaking dead inside since I haven't had any of that lately." Y/N kinda feels embarrassed to say this, but Nayeon should know the truth.

"That's why I want to become a cop. I'll still get to do those things but at least in a legal way and I promise I'll only use it for good things, such as saving people from danger. I won't abuse my power."

"I know you won't Y/N. I'm happy that you're telling me this. I didn't know you felt that way. I do think that becoming a police officer will be a good thing. As long as you're not a gangster, I'm okay with it." Nayeon assured her.

"What would you do if I said that I want to be a gangster?"

"I'm not sure. I just want you to be happy Y/N. Of course I won't be happy, but if you're happy with it then I think I'll be able to live with that." Nayeon nodded to herself.

"Then why do you look worried?" Y/N suddenly chuckled. "I'm just asking. I won't be a gangster and you know that. I promised it to my mom. There's no way I'm breaking that promise."

"I know, I know."

"You're always so nice and understanding towards me. I really don't know what I did to deserve you." Y/N smiled.

"You literally changed yourself for me, Y/N. You deserve me more than anyone." Nayeon caressed Y/N's arm.

"I need to go to work now though." Y/N stood up.

"Call me later?" Nayeon asked cutely.

"Of course." Y/N hugged her girlfriend tightly and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you." Y/N said once again.

"I know, I love myself too. Now go." Nayeon joked and pushed Y/N towards the door.

"Yah! You love yourself more than you love me!" Y/N yelled.

"Yes, but you're coming pretty close." Nayeon put her arms around Y/N's neck.

"Does that mean that maybe in the future you'll love me more than you love yourself?"

"I don't think that's possible, but we shall see." Y/N just laughed upon hearing that.

"Anyways, see you later babe." Y/N pecked her lips and with that she left. Nayeon just smiled to herself after Y/N left. Y/N provided her some new information about herself, but these were things that Nayeon already knew, except for the Jimin and Minju thing.

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Dahyun gathered the courage to go and talk to Sana today. She knows this won't end well, but they need to talk one day anyways. The sooner the better.

"Dahyun-ie?" Sana asked when she opened the front door. She wasn't expecting Dahyun.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course." Sana widened the door.

"I'm here to talk. You already know that I know everything but I want to hear the truth from you." Dahyun said.

"Let's sit down." Sana suggested.

"Everything they told you is true. It's true that I'm a gangster. My parents were both gangsters. When I was a kid, I didn't have much to do with the gang but as I got older, I started to get curious about my parent's jobs. My dad started to teach me how to defend myself and things like that. Unfortunately my dad got killed a couple of years ago. When he was dying he asked me to do one thing and that thing was for me to become like him and to get revenge for his death."

"Is that the only reason that you're doing this? Because he asked you to?"

"No. I probably still would have been a gangster even if he didn't ask me." Sana admitted.

"Where's your mom?"

"She's hiding.  They want to kill her as well, so she's hiding somewhere."

"Until when is she going to hide? From what I know, that gang is not going to stop looking for her." Dahyun asked.

"I don't know. She might have to hide for the rest of her life. The guy that shot me is also from that gang. Most of them don't know that I'm the daughter of the Minatozaki, that's why I'm not hiding, but I think they already found out." Sana sighed.

"Does that mean you're in danger?"

"Yeah. I'm in a lot of danger."

"Why didn't you tell me? How could you lie to me about this for so long?" Dahyun's eyes got teary.

"It was to protect you, Dahyun-ah. I don't want you to get in danger because of me."

"How is lying going to solve that? I asked you that day if there was anything else that I needed to know and you said no. You said that I knew everything, but turns out you have a huge secret."

"I know. I'm really sorry." Sana doesn't know what to say. The only thing she can do is apologize.

"You made the same mistake twice. You lied to me multiple times. You had a whole other life going on behind my back. I don't think I can trust you anymore..." Dahyun's tears started to fall.

"Dahyun-ie please listen to me. I didn't mean any bad by hiding this. It was really just to protect you, because I love you so freaking much, you have no idea. Normally I wouldn't even have dated you because of the danger, but you made me fall for you so bad that the only thing I wanted to do was be with you." Sana's eyes are also getting teary at this point, she knows what's coming.

"You know if you had told me the truth, I would have been able to forgive you. But now I don't even feel like I know you. You're not the Sana that I used to know. You're someone else."

"No, no, no. I'm still the Sana that you know. I showed you the real me, Dahyun-ah. Yes I did hide some things but I never pretended to be someone else. The person that you love is really me." Sana got closer to her girlfriend.

"I'm not so sure about that. I thought you were a good person, but you're a gangster. You do bad things and you hurt people. You're bad, unnie."

"Please, don't do this." Sana started to cry. Sana isn't the type of person to cry since she's pretty coldhearted, but she does love Dahyun a lot. She doesn't want to lose her.

"Do you like being a gangster? Do you enjoy it?" Dahyun asked and Sana just nodded weakly.

"I'm really sorry unnie, but I don't think I can keep doing this. I'm gonna need some time to accept this." Dahyun wiped her tears.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"Yes. I think we need to be apart from each other for some time." Dahyun suggested.

"Does that mean that maybe in the future I still have a chance with you?" Sana asked with hope in her eyes.

"I don't know. I can't promise you that."

"I don't want to let you go..." Sana cupped Dahyun's face.

"Unnie, please. Don't make this harder than it is. If you really do love me then please just let me go."

"Is that really what you want?" The Japanese woman asked and Dahyun nodded weakly. It's not what she wants, but she has no choice right now. Sana needs to understand that what she did is wrong. She can't forgive her. At least not yet.

"Okay, then I'll respect your decision. It's the least I can do." Sana turned away from Dahyun and more tears fell. They're both a crying mess right now.

"I should go now." Dahyun stood up and walked to the door. But before she could open the door Sana walked to her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I know I didn't treat you like you should be treated but please just know that I love you and that I will never stop loving you." Sana said weakly.

"Bye unnie." Dahyun pulled away and left Sana's place. The moment Dahyun left, Sana broke down on her knees. She knew this was going to happen, but she really hoped it wouldn't have. What is she going to do now? She lost the love of her life and it might never return again. Sana fucked up.

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"Why are you still here?" Irene asked when she saw that Y/N is still in her office.

"I'm working?"

"Work finished 10 minutes ago. You can go now." Irene chuckled.

"Oh really? I didn't realize that."

"Yah, Choi Y/N, your head is really in the clouds lately. Is it because you have a girlfriend now?" Irene smirked.

"No, it has nothing to do with that."

"Do you want me to drop you off at home?"

"I'm not going home." Y/N answered as she stood up and started gathering her things.

"Then where are you going? It's late." Irene asked.

"I'm going to Minju. I need to talk to her."

"Isn't that your ex-girlfriend? Why are you going to her?" Irene furrowed her eyebrows.

"I need to talk to her about something."

"Does Nayeon know that you're going to her?"

"No. I'll tell her later."

"Yah Y/N! You just got back together, don't ruin it. You know how jealous of a person Nayeon is. She'll kill both you and Minju." Irene warned.

"Don't exaggerate. Nayeon unnie isn't like that."

"Don't you remember how she looked at me because she was jealous?"

"That's because you kept on flirting with me in front of her." Y/N reminded her.

"But it worked. Didn't it? You should be thankful, you asshole."

"Thank you, but I need to go now. See you later unnie!" Y/N winked and left the office.

"Aish, she's so annoying." Irene said to herself.

After Y/N left the office she went to the restaurant where Minju works at. She wants to talk to her about what she found out yesterday.

"Hi, how can I help you?" An employee asked.

"Is KIm Minju working today?"

"Oh yeah, she's right there. Minju-yah! Someone is asking for you." The employee yelled and Minju's eyes widened at the sight of Y/N.

"What are you doing here?" Minju approached Y/N.

"Can we talk?"

"I'm working, unnie."

"Then when are you done?" Y/N asked.

"In about 40 minutes." Minju sighed.

"Okay, then I'll wait." Y/N sat down at a table.

"B-but..."

"I'm hungry anyways. So I'll eat while I wait." Y/N smiled weakly.

"Fine." Minju said and continued to do her work. It's risky for her to be talking to Y/N, but she knows Y/N won't leave until they have talked. After about 40 minutes, Minju finished working and went to Y/N.

"I'm done working."

"Okay, do you want to talk here or outside?" Y/N asked.

"Let's go to the park nearby." Minju suggested and Y/N nodded.

"When did he throw you out?" Y/N asked as soon as they sat down on a bench.

"H-how do you know?"

"I saw my dad yesterday. He told me what he did and since I saw you working in a restaurant I could guess what happened."

"I'm really sorry, Minju-yah. This is all my fault. I'm really sorry." Y/N apologized.

"It's not your fault, unnie. I know you hate your dad as much as my family does."

"When did you find out that my dad killed your uncle?"

"I found out before we started dating. I already knew who you were when we started dating."

"Wait, what?? You knew? Then why didn't you ask me anything about it?" This is some new information that Y/N had no idea about.

"Because I knew that you don't have to do anything with him."

"How could you still date me knowing that my father killed your uncle?" It doesn't make sense to Y/N.

"I loved you, unnie. I knew the risks, but I still chose you." Y/N became sad upon hearing that. Why is it that everyone who dates her has to take some kind of risk?

"You shouldn't have done that. Look at you now, you're working at a restaurant and you got thrown out all because of me."

"The problem isn't just that I dated you, but also that I dated a girl. I would have gotten thrown out one day anyways." Minju answered.

"Maybe they would have accepted you dating a girl, but they will never accept you dating the daughter of the murderer of your uncle. Didn't you just tell them that you didn't know who I was?"

"My dad had warned me about you when I didn't even know who you were. So he knows that I knew from the very beginning who you were."

"Where are you staying now? Do you have a place to stay?" Y/N worried.

"I'm staying with a friend. Don't worry about me."

"Unnie, stop looking at me like that. It's not your fault." Minju assured Y/N who just feels like she's the cause of everything.

"I'm managing well. I have some money and I have a place to stay. I don't need anything else." Minju added.

"You're rich yet you have to live in circumstances like these because you dated an asshole like me."

"Correction, my parents are rich, I'm not. Besides do you know how hard it is mentally to be their daughter? All they fucking care about is their reputation. I had to act like someone I am not just to fit into their standards. I had to do things that I didn't want just so that I wouldn't cause any harm to their reputation. Hell, they don't even care that much about my uncle, all they care about is their reputation. That's why they threw me out. If people find out that I dated you, it will harm their name and reputation." Minju explained.

"I know you always had a hard time with them, but do you think it's better this way?" Y/N asked out of curiosity.

"Yes. I feel better now that I'm out of that house. There's no one that's telling me what to do, what to say or how to act. I can be myself now. It's all I ever wanted." Minju smiled weakly.

"If you ever need anything, I don't care what it is, please call me, okay? I'm always here to help you out." Y/N caressed Minju's arm.

"I know, unnie. I'm really happy for you by the way. You look much better than when you left."

"Yeah. I really did improve, didn't I?" Y/N laughed.

"Yes, you really did." Minju smiled.

"I should go now. Thank you for coming to talk to me." Minju stood up.

"Thank you for hearing me out. And remember to call me when you're having a hard time, okay? If you don't want to ask me, then at least ask Chaeyoung or Tzuyu, I know they will definitely help you out."

"Thank you, I will."

"Do you live closeby?" Y/N asked.

"Yeah, it's just five minutes away."

"Let me walk you there. It's late so you shouldn't walk by yourself."

"Okay." Minju said and they walked towards the place where Minju stays.

"You're staying here?" Y/N looked around. It looks like a pretty big apartment.

"Yeah. For now at least."

"Ah, Minju-yah, you're finally here." A girl opened the front door.

"Hi, my name is Chaewon. Nice to meet you." The girl extended her hand for a handshake which Y/N accepted.

"I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you too. You're a friend of Minju's?"

"Yeah, you can say that. Thanks for bringing her home."

"No problem, I should go now. See you guys later?" Y/N asked.

"Yeah, see you later unnie." Minju said and both the girls waved. Minju's parents might have thrown her out, but Y/N forgot how Minju has a lot of rich friends. Chaewon seems to be one of them.

"Isn't your ex-girlfriend's name Y/N?" Chaewon questioned.

"Shut up." Minju walked in.

"Oh my God, wait, it's really your ex?" Chaewon widened her mouth.

"I'm tired, I'm going to sleep. Byeee." Minju avoided the question.

"Aish, why do you always do this?" Chaewon yelled after Minju, but with no answer.

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Dahyun is feeling like shit today. She just broke up with her girlfriend and she doesn't know how to feel. She just can't stop crying. She really wants to talk to someone and the first person that comes to mind is Y/N. She doesn't really know if talking to Y/N will be a good idea, since Y/N is Sana's ex, but she doesn't know anyone else who might understand her, so she just went to Y/N's place.

"Dahyun?" Y/N opened the front door and was surprised to see Dahyun.

"C-can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Is Tiffany unnie home?" Dahyun asked.

"She's in her room."

"I'm sorry for disturbing you this late." Dahyun apologized.

"No problem. What happened? Did you cry?" Y/N noticed how red Dahyun's eyes look.

"I broke up with Sana unnie."

"Oh. Let's sit down." Y/N suggested and they sat at the couch.

"When?" Y/N asked.

"Today." Dahyun's eyes got teary again.

"Let it all out, Dahyun-ah. You don't have to keep it all in, especially not in front of me." Y/N touched Dahyun's arm and Dahyun started to cry once again. Y/N doesn't know how to comfort her. She's always been bad at understanding people's feelings and she freezes whenever someone cries in front of her. But somehow she understands Dahyun's pain. Losing someone you love is something that she has been through as well.

"Shht, it'll be okay." Y/N assured as she pulled Dahyun into a hug and Dahyun cried on her shoulder.

"I don't know if I did the right thing, Y/N." Dahyun admitted as she pulled away form the hug.

"Only time will tell. Sana unnie needs to see what she did wrong, so you did right by not forgiving her immediately."

"But wasn't breaking up with her too much?"

"In my opinion it isn't. She needs to face the consequences of hurting you." Y/N said weakly.

"H-how did you deal with it? When you broke up with her?"

"With Sana unnie?" Y/N raised her eyebrows and Dahyun nodded.

"I think my case is a bit different than yours. I was angry, like really angry because she betrayed me, but you're hurt. It's a different kind of pain."

"What can I do to ease this pain? Should I just go away like how you did with Nayeon unnie?"

"No, definitely not. I didn't leave so that I could get over Nayeon unnie or anything like that, I left to save me for myself. I left for my mental health. I see no reason on why you should leave." Y/N informed.

"Is she really a bad person? The Sana that I know, is she really different from who she really is?" Y/N knows the real Sana better than Dahyun, so that's why she's asking.

"To be honest with you, I don't really know either. The person that she's portraying to be is pretty close to who she really is, but she's just hiding the bad side's of her. She's only showing the good, but I don't think that that good side is fake. I really do believe she has some good in her, but I also believe she has some bad in her as well. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to be a gangster. You need to be coldhearted to be a gangster and that's exactly what she's good at." Y/N explained.

"Are you also like that?" Dahyun asked.

"Yes. I'm trying to be a good person and you know how much I hate gangs but still there's also some evil in me. We both enjoy doing bad things even though we know it's wrong. I think we're pretty similar on that note, but there's one big difference and that's that I don't want to enjoy these things but she does want it."

"So she is just a bad person?" Dahyun kept crying.

"We were born with it, Dahyun-ie. It's hard for her not to be evil when the people that raised her are evil. I still managed to see some good because of my mom. She was nothing like my dad, she was exactly the opposite. She taught me how to be a good person, but Sana unnie had nothing like that. Everyone around her just kept teaching her wrong things, and that's how she turned out to be this coldhearted."

"If she's so coldhearted, how did she manage to make me feel loved? It doesn't make sense." Dahyun got frustrated.

"Because you softened her. You showed her how to be happy, you showed her that there are other things in this world besides revenge and bad things. You showed her love and you warmed up her heart. You were the only one that could do that." Y/N patted Dahyun's back.

"Y-you couldn't?"

"No. I think she became even worse after me. That's why I always say that the two of us weren't compatible, but you two are. You bring out the good in her, Dahyun-ie."

"And what did she do for me?"

"That's something only you can answer." Y/N answered and Dahyun nodded.

"You know the thing that makes me sad the most is the fact that she won't give up being a gangster." Dahyun admitted.

"It's all because of that promise." Y/N reminded her.

"You managed to change, do you think she can?"

"I wanted to change and that's why I changed but I don't think she wants that..." Unlike Y/N, Sana is completely fine with the way she turned out to be.

"I should go now. I'm sorry again for disturbing you."

"Stay over. It's late and you're a mess. You shouldn't walk around alone at this time." Y/N suggested.

"Are you sure? Won't Tiffany unnie mind?"

"Don't worry about that. You can sleep in my room, I'll sleep on the couch." Y/N informed.

"B-but..."

"No but's. You need to rest. And stop crying Dahyun-ah, it will all be okay. I promise." Y/N smiled weakly and patted Dahyun's head.

"Thank you." Dahyun is really thankful for Y/N as her friend. Yes they had some complications in the past, but they will never stop being good friends. They will always be there for each other.

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A/N: Updateee, pls vote and comment. Thank youuuuu.