Chapter 33

"Unnie? Why are you crying?" Y/N asked when she opened the front door and was met with her crying girlfriend. The teacher looks like a mess. Nayeon didn't answer Y/N's question and pushed her aside entering the apartment.

Y/N knows that the older is here to scold her for beating up Jungkook. But why is she crying? She wasn't crying at the police station. Something else must be going on.

"Tell me it's not true." Nayeon said weakly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Tell me it's not true!" The older yelled and hit Y/N's shoulder.

"Tell you what??" Y/N is confused. What is Nayeon talking about?

"Did you run over Jungkook's dad?" Nayeon actually stopped crying for a while but now thinking about it makes her cry again. Y/N stood there speechless. How did she find out? Jungkook must've told her. There's no point at lying now, so she just kept silent. How will she admit that she did it? Ever since Jungkook reminded her of what happened she's been thinking about it non stop. She's a monster and she knows it. Jungkook reminding her knocked some sense into her. But it's too late now. The damage has already been caused.

"Answer me!" Y/N just looked away. She can't look her girlfriend in the eyes out of shame.

"I'm sorry." Were the only things that came out from the younger's mouth.

"No, no, no. You're lying right? You're joking right? This can't be true. You wouldn't do something like that right?"

"I didn't know that I did it until yesterday." Y/N sighed.

"What do you mean you didn't know? What kind of bullshit is that? Why were you fucking driving with no license and not to mention you were underage as well!"

"I used to drive around a lot. I knew I hit something but it was dark, I didn't see it. I didn't want to get in trouble so I just drove away without looking behind." Y/N explained. This is a lot worse. Yes, accidents can happen but what Y/N did, was wrong in so many ways.

"H-how couldn't you at least take a look? Are you that selfish?" Nayeon said crying harder. It breaks Y/N's heart to see her like this.

"How much more did you do that I don't know about huh? how much more are you fucking hiding from me?"

"It's all in the past. Why do you care so much about what I did in the past?"  Y/N raised her voice.

"Are you fucking serious?? This isn't about what you only did in the past but what you're doing now as well. You beat up Jungkook and ended up in a police station! Have you seen how bad he looks? You could've fucking killed him! What would've happened if you had killed him, huh?"

"I can't fucking control it! And you know that. I've said it many times. I don't want to do the things that I do, but I just can't control it!" It's the same excuse Y/N always uses whenever she does something wrong. The older is sick of hearing it.

"Then what are you planning to do with that anger of yours? Are you waiting for you to end up killing someone? Or are you waiting for you to end up in jail? You're ruining your fucking life, Y/N!" It seems like Y/N is getting worse, so it won't be a surprise anymore if she ends up doing one of the two things Nayeon mentioned.

"You're becoming a monster, can't you see it? I thought you didn't want to end up like your dad, but you're going in that exact same direction." Nayeon said weakly.

"I'm not becoming a monster. I AM a fucking monster. I've always been a monster! It's in my fucking blood to be a psychopath like that father of mine. So how can I not be a monster!?" At this point Y/N has also started crying.

"No, you're not a monster. You're just giving up because you're scared! Why are you giving up like that? Why are you accepting that you're like him, huh? Why? Why? Why? I've always defended you, I always told everyone that you weren't like that when they told me that you would hurt me. But now you're proving them right and proving me wrong!" Nayeon broke down on her knees. She can't take this anymore.

"Then why are you still with me? Why are you still with me if I've already proved you wrong, huh? "

"Because I love you! How can I leave you when I love you so fucking much?"

"Look at me." Y/N said kneeling down in front of Nayeon.

"Stop loving me. Stop it okay! Don't love me! I don't need you to love me! I need you to hate me! Please just hate me, I need you to hate me." Y/N said the last sentence weakly. She loves Nayeon so much that she needs to let her go if she wants the older girl to be happy. She will never be happy with Y/N, because Y/N is a mess. Y/N is a monster and she'll only end up hurting Nayeon more.

"I don't know if I can hate you, but I do know one thing. And that's that I can't take this anymore. I thought that I was going to make you better and that I was dealing with you well, but I was wrong. We're not good for each other Y/N. We should stop this." Nayeon said as she wiped her tears and stood up.

"You're right." Y/N nodded and stood up as well. She doesn't want to let go of Nayeon, but it's for the best.

"Just promise me that whatever you do,  you won't end up dead. I won't be able to survive that." Nayeon said as her tears kept falling. Upon hearing that, Y/N's tears fell as well. The scene really is a mess.

"I don't know If I can promise you that." Who knows what those demons in her head will do to her in the future. After Y/N said that, the room became dead silent. You could only hear them crying.

"So this is the end? We really just broke up?" Y/N asked weakly.

"Y-yes." Nayeon stuttered. She never would've thought that they would break up this way.

"Take care of yourself, Y/N." Nayeon caressed Y/N's cheek.

"You too seongsaengnim." Nayeon's heart broke at hearing that nickname knowing she probably just heard it for the last time.

"Believe me this will be for the best."

"Then why is it so hard to let you go?" Y/N held Nayeon's hand that was caressing her cheek.

"It will be hard in the short term, but we need to heal. Both of us."

"Can I kiss you? One last time?" Y/N asked hesitantly but Nayeon just nodded. Y/N leaned in slowly and captured Nayeon's lips. She could feel the taste of her tears on her lips. The kiss was so slow, you could really tell that this was a goodbye kiss. Both of them enjoyed their last kiss together. Savoring every second of it.

"I need to go now." Nayeon said pulling away and with that she left the apartment. As soon as Nayeon left, Y/N broke down on her knees. She has never cried like this ever since her mom died.

After a couple of minutes Y/N stood up wiping her tears. She saw a couple of glasses and hit them all with her bare hand which made the glasses fall and shatter on the floor. She's so angry with herself. She lost everything and it's all her fault. How can she not be angry? Her hand started bleeding but she didn't care at all. It's what she deserves.

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"What the hell happened here?" Tiffany asked as she walked in and saw Y/N on the floor with shattered glasses around her. Y/N didn't answer. Se just started crying again when she saw her guardian.

"Y/N are you okay? What happened?" The older approached her carefully touching her shoulder.

"Nayeon and I broke up."

"Come here." Tiffany said and pulled Y/N into a hug. She can see how much the teenager is hurting right now.

"It's all my fucking fault! Why am I like this? Why can't I change? Will I always be like this?"

"No, you won't be. You'll get better, Y/N. I promise. And why is your hand bleeding? Did you do this?" The guardian asked as she gestured to the shattered glasses around the floor. Y/N just nodded.

"Come on, stand up. We need to take care of your hand." Y/N just obeyed. She has no energy to protest.

Tiffany took care of Y/N's hand and Y/N just went to her room. The guardian isn't sure what to do. She's never seen Y/N like this. Maybe she should call her friends? They will be much more of help than her. Her friends have been here for a couple of times, so she's met them. After thinking for a while she decided to call Chaeyoung.

"Hey Chaeyoung, it's me Tiffany."

"Oh hi, is Y/N with you? We've been calling her all day but no one can reach her." Chaeyoung informed.

"She's home but she's not okay. Could you maybe come over?"

"Yeah, of course. I'll take Momo and Mina with me." Chaeyoung said and with that she hung up.

After like 20 minutes the three girls arrived at the apartment and when they entered they could see Tiffany cleaning up glasses.

"What happened?" Momo asked worriedly.

"Apparently Nayeon and Y/N broke up so she made a mess here."

"They broke up?" Mina asked in shock. Well, she isn't that shocked since Y/N's attitude has been very out of place lately, but she still didn't expect them to have broken up so soon.

"Yeah, Y/N's not okay. You guys should check up on her." With that the three girls went to Y/N's room, entering very carefully.

"What are you doing here?" Y/N asked when she saw Mina behind her door.

"We're here to check up on you." Mina answered.

"We?" The only one Y/N sees is Mina, what does she mean with "we"?

"Yes, we." Mina said and opened the door widely so Y/N could see Momo and Chaeyoung as well. The three glanced at each other when they saw Y/N's condition.

"I want to be alone." Y/N sighed and laid on her bed.

"Yeah, we're not leaving you alone." Chaeyoung said as the three of them entered and sat on Y/N's bed.

"Why? Do you think I'm going to do something bad?"

"No. We're here because you need a friend." Momo answered. Yes, Y/N might cause a mess but that's not the main reason why they're here. They're here because Y/N needs to know that there are people who care about her.

"Tiffany unnie probably told you what happened, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did. We also heard about what happened with Jungkook." Mina informed.

"Don't tell me that the entire school heard it." Y/N hasn't even thought about that.

"Unfortunately, everyone heard it. They're even more scared of you now." Chaeyoung sighed. They thought Nayeon coming into her life was a good thing, but the student has actually been getting way more into trouble than she did before.

"Great. Fucking great." Normally Y/N would get angry and hit something but she's been crying so much for the past few hours that she has no energy left.

"How are you feeling? You kinda look like a mess." Momo said hesitantly.

"I don't know. I've never felt like this before. There's this feeling in my chest, this weird feeling. It's not anger, it's something else. Something that I haven't felt in a long time." Y/N explained.

"It's called heartbreak, Y/N. Your heart is breaking. That's what you feel here." Mina said gesturing to Y/N's chest.

"Will it go away?"

"It will take time and it depends on how you deal with it."

"How can I deal with it? I love her so much but I messed up. How am I going to be able to face her everyday and act like she's just my teacher while that fucking Ms. Yoo tries to win her back?" Y/N sat straight and held her head between her hands as she started crying.

"It'll be okay. I don't really know what the reason is for you guys breaking up but if you love her and she loves you then I think it will all fall into place in the future." Chaeyoung patted Y/N's back.

"Yeah, you can always try winning her back." Momo added while Y/N shook her head.

"I can't. Not when I'm a monster like this. She doesn't deserve someone as horrible as me." Y/N continued to cry and the three girls just tried to support her as her friends.

"Hey girls, it's pretty late how about you stay over?" Tiffany interrupted opening the door to Y/N's room. The three looked at each other and eventually nodded. They're not staying because it's late, they're staying because Y/N needs them.

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A week has passed and both Y/N and Nayeon are pretty miserable. The fact that they have to see each other everyday and act like nothing's happened isn't really helping either. Y/N is in Ms. Im's class right now and it's very awkward and uncomfortable for Y/N. She tries to ignore the teacher and she just looks down at the book on her desk. Nayeon sees how Y/N isn't really participating and how she doesn't even look up, so she decided to say something about it.

"Choi Y/N." Y/N didn't even hear that Nayeon said her name because she wasn't expecting it at all.

"I said Choi Y/N." Nayeon repeated and Momo hit Y/N's arm.

"Me?" Y/N said looking up weakly as they locked eyes.

"Please pay attention to my class." Nayeon said after a whole minute. Honestly everyone could sense the tension.

After class Y/N immediately left and Nayeon just watched the younger girl run away. Ms. Minatozaki was about to enter Nayeon's classroom but Y/N suddenly passed her by almost bumping into her.

"Yah Choi Y/N, watch where you're going!" Sana yelled but the student didn't even look back.

"Ms. Im?" Sana approached Nayeon but Nayeon didn't even response and just left as well.

"What's going on with these two?" Sana asked as Dahyun approached her.

"You didn't hear? They broke up."

"Yeah, right." Sana laughed.  "Wait? What? When?"

"Like a week ago." Dahyun informed. Everyone already left the classroom so it was just the two of them talking.

"Oh my God. That explains why Nayeon unnie is in a bad mood lately. Actually Y/N is also in a bad mood, but I couldn't tell since she's like that most of the time."

"Yeah, I've never seen Y/N like this. She's miserable. This break up is really getting to her." Dahyun sighed.

"They love each other a lot, so it's normal for them to be like that, Dahyunie." Sana smiled.

"I just wish they would sort it out. Do you think there's a chance of them getting back together?"

"I don't know. I think it all depends on Y/N. If Y/N changes and gets her shit together, I do think it's possible. But it takes a lot for Nayeon unnie to break up with someone. And whenever she breaks up with them, she doesn't let them back in. So it will probably take a lot of time." Sana shared her thoughts.

"I really hope Y/N gets better. I'm worried about her."

"She'll get better, Dahyunie. You should go to class now, you'll be late." Sana advised as she caressed Dahyun's arm. And with that the student left.

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After school Sana decided to go to Nayeon's apartment to check up on her. Ever since Nayeon found out about Sana being a gangster and her having a past with Y/N, they haven't really talked. Nayeon still can't believe how Sana can be a gangster.

"Can I come in?" Sana asked when Nayeon opened the door.

"Yeah." Nayeon said weakly and widened the door for the Japanese to enter.

"I heard what happened. Are you okay?"

"How do you know? Did Y/N tell you?" Nayeon asked as she furrowed her eyebrows. She didn't tell anyone. She really wanted to share this with someone but she couldn't. No one even knew about her relationship. It's not like she has many friends either. She just has Jihyo and Sana. She can't tell Jihyo since she's the principal and she didn't want to tell Sana because of what she found out about her.

"No. Dahyun told me." Nayeon didn't know that Y/N's friends knew about them.

"What happened? Why did you break up?" Sana asked as they both sat down on the couch in the older's living room.

"If you're here to convince me to go back to her, it's not happening."

"Yah, unnie. I wouldn't do that."

"Just go home, Sana." Nayeon sighed.

"Why are you so distant to me lately?" Sana has been wanting to ask this for a while now.

"Why do you think? You're a criminal, Sana. Why is it that everyone around me  is somehow related to a gang huh?"

"Being a gangster is not as bad as you think, unnie. You know very well that I'm not a bad person."

"So what are you? A good person who does bad things?" Nayeon raised her eyebrows and Sana nodded with a lot of energy.

"You're unbelievable." Nayeon sighed.

"Please don't push me away because of this. I'm still the Sana you know." Sana pleaded.

"I'm gonna need some time to accept it." Sana nodded. It's a good thing that Nayeon didn't reject her. After what Nayeon said there was an awkward silence in the room but Sana suddenly heard Nayeon crying.

"Omo why are you crying?" Sana asked worriedly.

"You just remind me of Y/N." Nayeon cried and Sana pulled her into a hug.

"I fucking hate her so much!" Nayeon yelled crying into Sana's shoulder.

"Shhht, no you don't. You love her a lot, that's why it hurts so much. It will get better, unnie. You managed to get over a relationship that lasted 3 years. You sure can get over this as well." Sana assured her. The evening continued with them talking and they decided to drink a bit as well to take their minds off of things. They both ended up drunk and passed out on Nayeon's couch.

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A/N: Updaaaateee. Sad chapter, I know. Please vote and comment.