Chapter 66

I knew when Ren was at some distance from the dining hall I looked at the person in front of me who was my everything, my whole world. And this very person is standing here, alive, in front of me. The tornado kept becoming big in my chest that I couldn't hear anyone who was asking us to explain.

"You are not dead. You are alive. "

"I'm so sorry squirrel......"

"Don't you dare repeat that word again if you want to stay alive this time for real." I said in a dark and dangerous tone.

"Please let me explain Haze." He stepped forward and tried to hold my arms. I immediately backed off as if I get an electric shock.

"Don't you dare touch me. DON'T....... stay away from me."

"Okay...okay... I won't..... but calm down..... otherwise you'll get the panic attack." He said with his hands in surrender.

I started laughing like a mad woman. Panic attacks..... now he cares?.????

"Haze, please let me explain." I looked dead in his eyes.

"Do it......." I wanted to know the reason badly. So, I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down by supporting my on the chair with my hands. It was still quite and my patience was running low.

"Waiting......." was the only word I said to inform him to start speaking.

He took a deep breath and spoke. "Mom and dad hired two people to adopt me for safety reasons. I was 11 or something when threats started coming from our enemies because of business and our families involvement in mafia. Soon after that I got into a car accident. Mom and dad thought it was a good idea to give me a new beginning so everything and everyone related with my past stays safe. I wanted to meet you so many time but because of threats I couldn't. I'm so sorry Haze...... I'm so sorry...... there was never a single day I didn't think of you. I missed you so much." His voice broke at the end.

I knew that he was finished with his speech. So, I opened my eyes and looked at him. His face shows all the emotions right now trying to make me weak but my anger was way stronger right now.

"Do you have threats now?" He looked at me and shook his head.

"No....."

"Does your family were also getting threatened?"

"Y....yesss...."

"Did they leave you alone?" He knew where my questions were going. When he didn't replied I asked angrily.

"ANSWER THAT GOD DAMN QUESTION."

"No...."

"Did your father leave his brothers because of those fucking threats?"

"No....." he answered looking down.

"Did you really thought I was safe?" He looked at me with confusion and concern.

"Did you really thought I was safe even when I was living in the orphanage with you? No, because my foster parents fucked me up every time I was sent to new home."

"No....."

"Yes.... and you know what is the fun part? I was tortured for 4 years even worse than an animal. Do you know how cold was that basement? Oh..... how will you know.... you were living a lavish life here." My anger was taking over my thoughts and actions so much that I didn't know what I was doing at this moment.

"I was literally living because I knew you were alive somewhere out their. The day I got out of that jail I was happy even though I was empty on the inside. I was happy that someday I will meet you. And guess what I got this stunning news after few days into the orphanage that you are fucking dead..... DEAD...... I was lost after that day. First I decided to end my life the day I ran from their but then I thought you will not be happy with my decision. So, I thought of the day you showed the picture of one of the places here and I moved here. Just because of you I did it. I thought my so called dead best friend will be happy watching from above that I'm trying to live a happy life. 8 years..... 8 stupid years I tried to patch up my broken self and here you are alive opening up those wounds again."

It was quite in the room now. No one spoke anything. Didn't asked us anything. I was getting fed up with my life now. It was getting too much for me breathe. My emotions were overwhelming me.

"I'm sorry Haze.... I know it is not enough for me to say but I'm very very very sorry."

"Please..... don't apologize Mr. Orlando......oh! My bad, you are not him. Since, the day we meet you were the one taking all the decisions. You were one who thought it is a freaking fantastic idea to declare yourself dead. It was your decision to move on with your life. So, why are you apologizing Mr. Orla..... sorry sorry...... Umberto Barone."

"Please Haze.... don't push me like this. I'm still your Orlando. Please forgive me." He got on his knees this time and started apologizing.

I was so done right now. I really wanted now that blackness to swallow me. So that I could become numb. So, I don't feel anything because right now it's hurting so much. I kept looking at him without blinking my eyes. Someone came forward and held me in their arms. Though that arms were giving me warmth and comfort but I don't want it. I don't want anything. I started wiggling around to get out of that persons arms. My eyes couldn't leave his figure. I kept mumbling leave me.... don't.... but the person was not ready to leave. So, with all my strength I started pushing him back.

"LEAVE ME..... I DON'T WANT ANYTHING...... LEAVE ME ALONE......." I screamed on top of my lungs. All I could see was red. First thing I saw was cutlery on the table so I took them started throwing everything on the floor. I pushed the chairs out with the force and within a minute everything was smashed on the floor. Not able to find anything I screamed again and pulled my hair.

"Cara, you are hurting yourself. Please stop." A voice said holding my hands. I couldn't recognize it because I was slowly getting myself fall into that poison which I use to hate or was afraid off.

"Squirrel..... please look at me." I stopped everything and looked at the owner of the voice.

"Don't hurt yourself please; I beg you."

I was seeing red still so I launched towards him and held his collar and looked at him with only anger.

"Why are you back? Why did you lie to me? Why did you promised about being with me my whole life? Do you think I'm a joke to you? Did you think it was fine to play with my feelings? Did you think that after this horrific lie one day you'll come in my life and I'll forgive you? Do you think it's easy for me to forget my old life? NO.......Because I can't." He looked at me with confusion.

"Oh!..... I forgot that you don't know. No one knows."

"Hazel don't." Someone said but it didn't reach my mind to process what they were saying. Angerly I removed my button up sweater and turned around to let him, let everyone see my darkness that can't leave me.

"This is why I can't forget anything. This is why I can't move on. I'm done now. I'm so done now. I feel like my life doesn't want me to live this long because look first my mother left me the day I was born. Then I met those horrible people who took me in and keft again and again. Then you met me and decided to play dead with me. Then I moved here and found my family and guess what they did? When they found out they didn't even acknowledged me. They were more focused on their anger and grief about their dead mother or wife that nobody saw me that I was also keep falling. I was also sinking in that black whole inside me that haunted me for years. And when that got fixed my fucked up life thought its good to bring you back from death. How wonderful it is, isn't it? So, why don't just finish all this. I'm tired now."

I started looking and and found a piece of broken plate and within a second I sliced my wrist. I was about to do it second time but someone took it from me.

"Leave me.... I don't want to live....... give me back...... let me gooo........ LEAVE ME........" I screamed on top of my lungs.

I felt a sting on my cheek. When I looked up I saw Santino standing there. He held my shoulders and shook me hard.

"Come to your senses Hazel." He held my face but I backed off.

"No.... stay away from me.... all of you...... stay away......"

"Hazel..... princesa, look at me.... yes look here." It was Ettore, his voice came in and entered as a command in my head.

"Good.... good hermana, now look into my eyes. Good job, let me help you. No bad thing will ever come near you. Here take my hand. I can help you."

"Will you?"

"Si"

"Promise, you will not break it?"

"I promise, mi corazon. Let me take care of you. Look your hand is bleeding. Let me fix it."

"Will you fix it?"

"Si. But only if you kept me hold you. Can I?" I nodded my head

"I'm tired. Please help me. I don't want to sleep." He slowly came in and hugged me. I was crying my heart out now with my head on his chest. I could feel someone wrapping my wrist but I couldn't resist it anymore.

I started seeing black dots in front of my eyes. But was fighting hard with them. I was keep loosing my balance now but Ettore's arms around me were keeping me on my feet.

"I didn't mean it. I'm sorry..... I didn't mean any of it....." I kept mumbling.

"I know darling, we all know." I looked around and saw what damage I have done here. It was horrible now that I look at the room.

"I'm sorry..... I didn't mean to do it......, I'm so sorry. I hurt everyone."

"Shhhhh...... everything is okay. No one is hurt, everyone is fine." I looked up at everyone and true to his words they were fine. Then I looked at the person, who was the reason behind all this mess. He was also looking at me with tears in his eyes.

"Please don't leave me alone. I'm scared. I don't want to go through that again."

Hearing my words he came forward and hugged me. This time I welcomed his hug. This time I welcomed him because I was getting very tired. And then everything was black.