I couldnât think of anything.
My mind went blank, as if I was in a dream. My mom definitely told me stories, but I didnât think they were true.
It turns out my mother made up my memories. She said my memories were fake.
âNo, Mom, come on. There must have been a dad⦠Daddy⦠Daddyâ¦!
What was my dad like?
âMy dad⦠definitely⦠loved Bebe. He loved and cared for me so much. So⦠it canât be.â
âHow did your dad love you? How did he love you?â
My mother, who looked at me with moist eyes, looked exceptionally sad, as if she had just left.
âSo⦠Soâ¦â
I couldnât say anything to my mother like that. I really didnât remember anything. I used to remember how my dad played with me and loved me, but now I couldnât think of anything.
âItâs all right. I donât remember either, baby⦠Bebeâ¦â
âNo, no⦠I-I⦠Iâm sure I was happy when I was youngâ¦â
âWe werenât happy. He⦠abused us.â
I still shook my head. In the meantime, the Grand Duke took a chair next to the bed and sat down.
âI did some research on the previous emperors, Bebe.â
The exceptionally friendly voice of the Grand Duke penetrated my ears.
âAbout Dad? Iâm sure heâsâ¦!â
âThe previous emperor had a problem in an accident when he was a child, so he could not have children. He had an empress and several other women, but not one child was born.â
Oh, my tears dropped at the sound.
âAh.. no⦠Iâm here. Does that mean Iâm not your daughter?â
My reality was falling apart.
It felt like my memories were pouring down too.
âThen⦠youâre a fake⦠Mom⦠Momâ¦â
But I didnât want to let go of my mother. As my mom said, I held my momâs hand tightly because I wanted her not to be a fake even if she was fake.
I raised my head and made eye contact with my mother. Tears kept coming out of my eyes as my vision got blurry.
âMommy isâ¦â
âMom, are you serious?â
âBebe⦠the previous emperor⦠He was worse than the current emperor, who beat and tormented us.â
But there was not a single memory about it. I tried to remember, but I didnât have any kind of memory about my dad, or someone I believed to be my dad.
âHe was⦠a woman collector. Bebe doesnât know this, but sometimes there are people who do such crazy things.â
âCollect womenâ¦?â
âYes, and the former emperor⦠liked to put everything he liked in one place. It didnât matter who had a husband. He was crazy about desire.â
I didnât quite understand what my mother was saying, but I was sure something was wrong.
âAnd there, I met a woman who was in a similar situation to me.â
âSimilar?â
âI was eight-months pregnant at that time, and she was pregnant too.â
After seeing my mom look so serious, I wiped off my tears and sat up straight. However, my mom looked at the Grand Duke with a strange gaze as he sat on the chair next to the bed.
âMom?â
âThe difference was that she was the only one forced to be dragged away, whereas I witnessed him kill my husband.â
I didnât understand, yet I urged my mother to continue.
âYes, we can talk about this later. Anyway, we became close friends since we were to be mothers. In the meantime, we both had children. I gave birth first, and then she gave birth. I had a pretty girl, and she had twins.â
Momâs eyes turned to the boy in the room. Naturally, both my eyes and the Grand Duke directed in that direction.
âThe kids⦠it was you two, Bebe and Alphius.â
ââ¦Thatâs ridiculous. I⦠I am my motherâs child. I have no memories of that.â
âMy child⦠died shortly after she was born.â
I turned my head back and forth in denial, but my motherâs eyes were firmer than ever.
âSo⦠I needed a way. I was just someone who was there because the Emperor liked me, but the twinsâ mother was different. Her⦠Her children were special and the Emperor was preparing something else for it, so we had to decide.â
None of my motherâs words reached my ears. Maybe I was tired. I couldnât believe I had such a terrible dream. This was ridiculous.
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