03 | Longing for you

~~~~~~~~~~Mahadevan~~~~~~~~~~

Today is the engagement for Anjana and Krishnan. I am busy with the function and other things as I had to look for caterers and photographers , invite the guests.

Its a big responsibility being an elder brother. uff. I am tired, still it is all for my only sweet talkative sister.

The engagement got over in a good manner and the guests were all talking. It would take some time for the caterers to arrive.

I distributed some juice to everyone. Going near Sandhya I stretched the plate containing juice cups,  "juice?"

She turned around to face me. Taking a cup she mouthed thanks.

"Why can't you take one?"  she asked me. I nodded my head in agreement and took a juice.

There was a comfortable silence between us. She swirled her head to me to say something, but was interrupted by the voice of my Father.

"Devan.. check if the caterers have come with the Lunch"

"yes paa.." I went out finishing my juice. If we both talk when everyone are present, mainly my parents and her parents, most importantly Krishna, they might form scenarios.

I don't want to give space to that and left. Thankfully, Sandhya too followed me. I was waiting at the entrance gate for the caterers to arrive. Just a minute before I dialed them and came to know that they are near by in the next street.

Sandhya came near me and cleared her throat to gain my attention. Although I knew her following me and standing beside  for half a minute, I did not spare her a look.

It actually brought a smile on my lips but I controlled really hard. This feeling is also good and enjoyable.

A person trying so hard and doing lot of things to gain your attention. It made me feel superior and happy to see her antics.

I casually turned around to look at our house and back to the street, just to take a glimpse of her face reaction. She frowned as I did not give my attention her.

She cleared her throat again and this time I looked at her. " Sorry.. for that day.. in..in the beach" she  apologized genuinely and hesitatingly.

"Its ok" I replied.

She still had a frown thinking I was avoiding her with my reply. I smiled at her to make her understand I am not angry on her nor take her words seriously.

Before she could talk further, the caterers arrived and I got busy with guiding them.

~~~~~~~~~~Sandhya~~~~~~~~~~

Days and weeks passed.  After the engagement of Krishnan, I did not get chance to meet Deva. Today is the reception for Anjana and Krishnan. The celebrations were happening in a grand manner.

The guests and relatives took photos with the couples. Devan too joined them and took some photos. Him, Krishna and Anjana stood on the stage posing for the photo. Suddenly, I too rushed to the stage and joined them.

I was wearing a dark blue saree matching his dark blue shirt. Morning for the vrdaham too I was wearing a sandal colored half saree matching his shirt color.

I am sounding very childish with all my acts. What to do.. all because of Deva . He is the one making me do all this. If he atleast looks at me and talk sometime , I might get some sense.

I have a liking towards him. But he does not seem to notice me. I did not get proper time to talk with him in general and share things. But at least can't he catch the clue that I am exhibiting?

Or is he thinking that I am just time passing with my crush on him? sss.shoba.. Sandhya ennadi idhu.. nachunu mandayla adicha maari elartayum pesuva ivanta pesa ivlo thadumatram, padhatam ... yen??

(Sandhya, you are always bold and confident while talking to others. Then why do you feel so shy to converse with him?)

I tried to bring up some or the other excuse to talk with him. But did not get a chance.

I heard him say he is going to the dining hall for dinner. I thought to utilize this chance and sit beside him somehow, or atleast travel together in the same lift to the dining hall.

When I started walking behind him, someone tapped on my shoulders. They made me look at the stage where Krishnan was signaling me to come.

"enna da?" I asked him with action, trying to hide my irritation. I did not know if I should go there to the stage. I might miss Deva. But my fate never leaves me. He was continuously pestering me to come on the stage.

I went to the stage and said I will be back in few minutes. I gave him a hint about Deva and rushed to the dining hall without waiting for his reply. I saw Deva and his friend talking jovially and sitting on the chair side by side.

I looked around. All the tables are full.

"Come in the next round ma" said the server.

I sighed in disappointment. While talking Deva looked at me once but did not give any reaction and continued his talks with his so called friend.

His simple look at me, gives butterflies on my stomach. My heart races faster when I see him look at me. But it fades away the next moment when he averts his gaze and behaves normally.

Deva was talking with that guy. I guess he is his best friend. The way they behave shows he must be his close friend. And his name is Vicky, I heard Deva call him like that once. Whatever, but my thought is, I feel like Deva is becoming more rough guy because of his friendship with this Vicky.

Why can't this Deva talk nicely with me like how he does with Vicky. See how all smiles he is. If it is me, he would count each letters while talking.

Oru vela rendu perum morattu singles ah? adhanala dhan ipdi ponnungala pathaley therika odranungala?

(may be the two guys have aversion for girls? is that the reason they avoid talking with girls?)

Heaving a disappointed sigh, I came back to the marriage Hall. My good chance to spend some time with Deva was spoiled by none other than the most cruel person in the whole world - Krishnan.

I went on to the stage near him.

"Where did you go Sandhya?"

"to have my dinner with D.. D.. " I gave hints for Krishnan as Anjana was looking at us conversing.

" eii.. ennadi nee en best friend la.. nee ennoda dhan sapdanum. nee engayum poga koodadhu "

(hey .. I am your best friend.. you should eat with me and not leave this place till I come)

I forbid myself from shouting at him on the stage. He is going to get married, why does he want to sit with me and spend time? Leave me man.. I need to look after my future.

Half an hour passed. I saw Devan come to the stage ,calling the couples for the dinner.

"you too join us" said Krishnan to Deva.

"oh.. I already had my dinner . You both come"

Krishnan looked at me with pleading look. I threw dagger look at him. Once Deva left, Krishnan turned towards me.

"I actually thought to make you sit beside Devan and have dinner" he said in a low voice.

"idha dhan da nan munnadiye panna nenachen..avan sapda poradha pathen . pathutu dhan poren nu adam pidichen..vitiya nee? nalla varuva da nee"

(I too suggested the same before, as I saw him go near the dining area.. did you ever leave me or allow me to talk?)

"eee.." krishnan smiled cheekily

"thu.. po.. nalla nanban da enaku nee. " ( what a friend I have got)

My bestie Krishnan knows about me having a thing for Deva.

For the next day muhurtham I got ready in a maroon saree. Anjana being talkative and open mouthed has its benefits.

She would spill all the required beans. She was the one who was narrating about the colors and the dresses purchased for everyone in their house. I made a note of it , of course only Deva.

Why would I care about what others wear?

Adorned in maroon saree with matching blouse and simple ornaments,  I came out of the room in search of him. To my astonishment, he was wearing a Veshti with dark green mandarin shirt.

why ?? why did he change to a different one? isn't he supposed to change to marroon shirt?

He was smiling. The way he looked at me and smiled, no it was not smile, it was kind of teasing.

Once when he walked past me, he uttered " your maroon saree is good" with a stifled laugh.

At first I thought he is complimenting me. But alas. When I realized it carefully, I face palmed myself.

Oh My god.. he knew that I am purposefully matching his outfit. That is the reason he changed his shirt color.

He was on the stage and I was standing below. I looked at him with longing and disappointment. He saw me and smiled.

Edhukuda sirikara? ipdi loosu thanama unaka dhan ellathayum pandren.. puriyudha ilaya unaku ( why do you laugh?I am doing all this silly acts for you . Can't you understand?)

Throughout the wedding, we had some glances exchanged. He too looked at me straight in my eyes. We hardly had 2 or 3 sentences of conversation in general about the marriage happenings.

That too was a conversation which I forcefully started to talk with him. He does not seem to avoid me at the same time, he does not move more with me.

He speaks straight looking in to my eyes . His eyes never wandered anywhere other than my eyes, while my eyes did  just the opposite of it.

He even noticed me once gawking at him, but did not say anything. I like him. But does he like me? Did he get my clue or not?

What is in him that is attracting me the most? Whatever he does , even if he does not do anything, I am impressed by his behavior.

Now I understand why Anjana likes Krishnan. She would always praise him, and look dreamily at him. Krishnan is an average looking guy, still Anjana would look at him as if he is the most handsome one for her eyes.

Seeing all that I laughed at her silly action. But right now I am experiencing and behaving same way like Anjana with her brother.

In this 2 days of marriage event for Krishnan, I did not notice anything other than Deva. My eyes were always on him, what he does, what he talks, how he behaves, where he goes.

pcch.. kolraney enna.. kadhal muthipocha namaku?

(argh.. he is torturing me.. I have become mad  on him)

I don't have confidence to go ask him his number or propose him. What will he think of me? what if he rejects?

Let Krishna get married first. I will resort to him to know what Deva thinks about me.

"enna irundhalum oru payan manasu oru payanuku dhaney puriyum.."

(only a guy can understand the feelings of another guy)