c h a p t e r • 22

-let's crash it-

Lili's PoV

"Ryder-this isn't right. We...we can't do this to Kyle. I can't do this to him." I sigh and got back on my two feet.

"He doesn't have to know." He says with his arms still around my waist.

"I'm sorry, Ryder. It's just wrong." I say and put my hands in his chest.

"Liliana, I'm sure he'd understand." He says.

"What is this? What do we have going on? Sure we made out a couple of times, but are you sure you want this? You and I both are players. This," I motion to the both of us. "is impossible."

"Fine. Whatever, then."

He let's me go and walks out the room frustratedly.

My heart is still racing and I slowly hear it crack.

Why was I feeling like this?

He's just another guy. Right?

Why does it hurt so much?

I take a deep breath and let it out.

It's okay, Ava. You're okay.

I sat back on the bed and pretend like nothing happened.

I'll be fine. Everything will be fine.

-•-

"Happy birthday Caleb Cakesy!" I giggle at how cheesy that sounded.

He kisses my cheek. "Thanks, Silly Lili."

"Open my gift!" I say excitedly.

"It's so small." He pouts.

"Well it's bigger than your di-I'm kidding." I laugh. "Just open it."

He opens the little box and a huge smile spreads across his face.

"It's...the best present I've ever gotten..." He says.

It was a ring with our initials carved into it with a heart;

C + L

He hugs me and I hug him back.

Little did we know, hapiness was only temporary.

-•-

I was in my room, studying on my bed.

Yes, I, Liliana Ava De Ville, is actually studying.

Believe it or not, studying gets my mind off things so when I can't handle everything, I study. It's as easy as that.

My door slams open and I jump with my heart racing.

I look at the doorframe to find Sam looking at me like I have the words 'I'm pregnant' on my forehead.

"Hey, Sam. What's up?" I say.

"Are you...studying?" She says with disgust.

I fake a laugh. "Well, you don't see me pole dancing in my room, do ya?"

"You only study when your thoughts are messed up. What happened?" She says, sitting in the edge of the bed.

"I'm fine." I lie.

"Ugh, don't fûck with me, Lili. I know you're not." She says with an eyeroll.

I chuckle at her.

"I'm your main bitch and bestie. You can tell me anything." She says, putting her hand on mine.

I sigh.

"It's hard you know. Acting like everything's okay. Like I'm okay. Like I'm not dying inside. Like I don't have nightmares about seeing someone I loved covered in his own blood, because of me!" I sobbed a little.

"It hurts. It just hurts so much. I don't know what to do anymore! I feel like I'm dying but I'm still breathing and walking. Everyday is just a reminder of how my life is supposed to be miserable and the only ray of sunshine I had is gone! It's gone! He's gone! He left me alone in this world for me to suffer alone! I don't know if I could still love after him." Tears were streaming down my face and I felt stupid.

All I do now is cry and cry and cry. It's a never ending cry-fest.

Sam hugs me tightly and caresses my hair.

"Shhh...just let it all out, babygirl." She says softly as I cry into her shoulder.

"I...I...it hurts...I can't do this anymore! And then he came along...he had this facade on him. He showed affection towards me. He's so loving yet people misunderstand him. But I screwed up...we couldn't be together. It was stupid of me to think...to think..." I cut myself off my breaking down again.

"Ryder?" Sam asks and I nod.

"Oh no, sweetie what happened this time?" Sam says with worry laced in her voice.

"We...we were making out but then I...I screw up. I ended whatever we had before it got out of hand. It's just wrong, Sam. I can't do this to Kyle. I can't hurt him, too." I say sobbing.

She hugs me tighter.

"Don't worry." She caresses my hair. "I think you just found your ray of sunshine again." She mutters quietly that I almost didn't hear it.

We pull away and look at each other.

"You know what we need to do? We need to get your mind off all this. We need to crash a party." Sam smirks.

"Sam-" She cut me off.

"I understand if you don't want to go. But-" I cut her off.

"I was going to say, I'm not sure what to wear." I laugh lightly through tears.

"Oh. Great! Amazing! I'll help you!" She says, standing up and pulling me with her.

I laugh lightly at her as she pulls me to my closet.

That's wasn't meant to sound dirty...

-•-

After a short shower, and a hell lot of clothes thrown my way, being stabbed in the eye a couple times and getting burnt on the neck, I was finally done.

It was your basic badass Lili look.

Which is a black bralette tucked into my high waisted denim shorts, with a black belt. I paired them with silver loop earrings and a black choker.

I put my hair into its natural wavy curls and messed it up a little in a cute way.

After that, I put on some make up and applied its finishing touches.

"Sam, I feel fat in this." I sigh as I look at myself in the mirror.

"You? Shut up, you skinny bitch. You look fucking hot in that." She says putting on mascara.

I chuckle. "Look who's talking."

Sam was dressed in a black cut out bodycon dress which was stunning by the way.

Call us sluts but I prefer the term; to-hot-for-your-judgy-ass.

"I'm so stealing this, by the way." She says.

I roll my eyes. "As if I didn't know."

She grins at me and grabs her black clutch.

I put my phone into my pocket along with some money.

"Let's go crash some dumbass' party!" She says slamming my door open.

At the same time, Kyle's room door, which is across mine, opens revealing Kyle.

Kyle and Sam stares at each other-blushing- until he clears his throat.

I ship it.

"Are you guys going to Greg's party?" He asks.

Sam doesn't answer so I do.

"Mhm." I say.

"Do you have a ride?" He looks at Sam.

"Yu-" I cut her off.

"Actually, we don't." I pout. "Could you give us a ride?"

Sam looks at me with that what-the-hell look. I smirk in return.

"Sure, but I have to go uh-pick up a friend first." He says and Sam nods. "Aren't you guys gonna wear a jacket over your outfit or something?"

Do I look fat? Is my fat showing?

I give him a blank look.

"We don't dress to impress, We dress to look hot for ourselves." Sam says.

I nod.

"Right. Okay let's go." He says and we leave this awkward situation.

-•-

Turns out, Kyle's friend is Giraffie-I mean Ryder.

I made Sam sit in front with Kyle earlier but now I'm beginning to regret that.

I not kidding when I say if someone else squeezes in, I will be one with the door.

We stop in front of a house which doesn't look like there's a party going on inside.

I look at Kyle confused.

He must've sensed my confusion. "I had to pick up a friend. So, I'm sorry but you guys have to, umm, you know." He trails off.

I roll my eyes and sigh. "Whatever."

The guy came out of the house and honestly he looks cute.

I think he's a jock.

Unfortunately, he came in from my side of the car and so I had to move closer to Mr. Gira-Ryder.

I've gotta stop that.

He sees me and smirks.

Oh, God. This is going to be a long night.

"Hey," He opens the car door. "Kyle, Ryder, Sam." He nods at them and they nod back. "Lili, right?"

"Mhm." I hum.

"Will." He says, getting in and sitting a little too close to me making me scooch even more.

"Hey." I say uninterested.

Oh dear, I forgot my fuckboy repellent. No wonder, he's here.

The ride was very uncomfortable. Mostly, because Ryder was frowning the whole time and the jock kept moving closer to me, making me move closer to Ryder unintentionally.

"Hey, uh, Quill? Was it? Would you move aside a little?" I fake smile.

"Will." He says and move aside.

I let out a sigh and took out my phone.

I scrolled through Instagram to see people's faces on a screen, when I felt something warm on my thigh.

I peeled my eyes off my screen and looked at the source of it.

Could ya guess it?

Yup, it was, Dill.

I could feel Ryder tense next to me due to our closeness and I glared at that hand.

I literally slapped his hand away and crossed my legs together.

"How much further?" I ask.

"Not far." Kyle says. "We're almost there." He says and soon, I could hear the music booming.

Thank God. Finally!

Kyle parked his car somewhere quite far from the house and we all got out.

I got out the last because I was in the middle.

Sam and Kyle were ahead of us and I glared at the back of their heads.

How dare they leave me with a dumbass and mr-I-frown-a-lot?!

I walked ahead of those morons but Jill, decided to wrap his arms around me.

I immediately stopped in my tracks and look at him with a death glare.

"What do you think you're doing?" I say, calmly but I honestly was gonna explode if no one stopped me.

"Just enjoying nature's gifts." He says casually. "Shall we."

I just walked and ignored his hand. It's not like this isn't normal. I used to be a playgirl anyway.

His hands kept travelling lower and lower until stopped right above my butt.

He was suddenly ripped off of me by Mr. Giraffe.

Ryder grabs his collar and looks at him in the eye, threateningly.

"Don't fucking touch her."

-•-

A/n: honestly, this chapter is so weird I don't know what to say about it anymore...like first it's a fight then, Lili spills out her problems to Sam, then they dress up, then there's Sam and Kyle, then there's a perv, then Ryder gets possessive.....this is one hella weird chapter

Anyways, love you guys!❤️