The Coronavirus Blues

From the Blonde Moments file

(Conversations with my daughter)

Leaving the grocery store:

Lauren- Why did we have to pay for this stuff?

Me- What? Why wouldn't we?

Lauren- Uh...World War Z, Contagion, I Am Legend, Zombieland. No one pays for their stuff during a pandemic. Everyone knows this. We were cheated.

Me- Yeah, I am with you on this one.

A bit later...

Lauren- Okay, we need to find an island to go to in case people turn into zombies.

Me- How will that help?

Lauren-Everyone knows zombies can't swim.

Me- Okay, Good point. But how will we get there.

Lauren- The judge has a boat (our neighbor is a justice of the peace). We could take his boat.

Me- And him and his wife?

Lauren- I don't understand.

Me- What if they don't want to give us the boat?

Lauren- Take 'em out. We have to make the hard choices dad.

Me- The boat fits 5. I'm sure the island can handle a lot of people.

Lauren- IT'S A VIRUS! NOBODY IS ALLOWED ON OUR ISLAND! MAKE THE HARD CHOICES DAD!

One minute later...

Lauren- I think I have a fever.

Me- Oh Shut up.