Chapter 71: Betrayal

Noah released Moxie, rolling to the side and rising to his feet.

“You’re smart, Moxie. But how do you know that the information you have on demons is correct? Has Lee ever given you a reason to doubt her?”

Moxie didn’t stand.

“I don’t know. But what if you’re wrong?”

“Then Lee kills us. I’d rather be wrong and be the idiot that trusted my friends than the monster that turned against them because they were told to. When you die, it won’t matter anymore. You’ll have to live with your decisions, not your fears. And, if you live on fear, that’s all that you’ll have left to keep you company.”

Moxie didn’t respond immediately. She slowly sat up, still looking at where Lee had been.

“We weren’t friends. Co-workers, at best.”

Noah shrugged. “If that’s what lets you sleep at night.”

“We only knew each other for a little while!”

“Time is such a weird thing,” Noah said with a frown. “I don’t see the obsession with it. Short, long, whatever. What matters is how you spend it, not how long you have. And, in the long run, you don’t have all that long anyway.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Moxie asked, finally looking up at Noah. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Forget it,” Noah said with a sigh. “If you try to attack me again, I don’t think I’m going to be able to win.”

Not without using Sunder, and that means one of us isn’t walking out of here alive.

“You’re saying you won’t try to stop me if I go after her?”

“I’m saying you’ll win. I’ve already told you my stance.”

“Why do you care so much?” Moxie asked. “Why go through the risk? It doesn’t make sense. You’re putting yourself on the line for someone you aren’t even responsible for.”

“Is it responsibility, or is it avoiding the responsibility by just assuming the worst to skirt the problem?” Noah asked. “I’m not saying you should blindly trust every demon. That would be stupid. But you haven’t even tried talking to Lee to find out more. You’re just jumping to conclusions.”

Moxie sat upright. She flicked some flecks of ash from her shoulder, then rose to her feet, pulling her gaze away from Noah and toward the direction that Lee had gone. Her hands clenched.

Noah remained silent as Moxie stood there. He’d already said his piece. There wasn’t anything else he could say that would change her mind.

“How do you know you’re right?” Moxie finally asked. “What if you trust the wrong person?”

Noah shrugged. “Then you die. I already told you. But… dying is one moment. Living is every single other one. Focus on all the moments you actually live through, not the single one at the end. If you decide that trusting Lee is the wrong decision, then decide that. But make sure you actually believe it.”

Moxie swallowed. “I need to think.”

“Then think. I’m sure Lee didn’t value your opinion of her at all. She definitely didn’t care that one of the few people she’s met thought she was a bloodthirsty monster that was just trying to manipulate them for their own selfish gains.”

“Damn it, Vermil. What do you want from me? I have a duty.”

“I never said you didn’t,” Noah said. “I’m a terrible professor. We’ve established this already. Why do you care about what some evil monster like me thinks anyway? Seems odd. I’m sure some people would think your trust of me is nearly as bad as trusting Lee.”

Moxie’s fists clenched and she looked away. Vines slithered at her feet, whipping in anger as she withdrew them and pushed the rest of the garden back to its original state. Some of the plants had been burnt and damaged from the fight, but she shifted those parts farther away from the path to hide them.

“I’ll hear her out,” Moxie said. “Take me to her.”

“Nope.”

“What?”

“I don’t know where she is, Moxie. There’s no conspiracy or grand plan here. She just ran off because you hurt her feelings. If you want to do something about that, then go find her yourself. I don’t belong in that conversation. If you think she’s just some monster, then go find those other professors and hunt her down. I’ll be sitting here.”

“Doing what?”

“Waiting,” Noah replied. “To see if you’re an idiot or not.”

Moxie sent one last look at Noah, then turned and strode off. Noah lowered to the ground, crossing his legs as he sat and pressing his palms against his knees. A minute passed. He let out a heavy sigh and massaged his forehead.

“Damn. That could have gone better.”

“She hates me.”

Lee stepped out of the bush behind Noah. He looked over his shoulder at her, but didn’t say anything.

“See? That’s how people are supposed to respond,” Lee said, nodding in Moxie’s direction and flopping down beside him. “She’s probably going to go find professors to hunt me.”

“Maybe,” Noah allowed. “Do you think they could catch you?”

“Depends. Not if they’re Rank 3. But if there are Rank 4 professors… probably.”

“I see. I think Moxie was just scared. She’s trying to protect her student and isn’t thinking rationally. Or maybe she’s trying to think too rationally and isn’t considering her own experiences in comparison to what she’s been told.”

“Does it matter?” Lee asked. “She’s still going to try to kill me. I’m going to leave, and now you might as well.”

Noah shrugged. “What I told her about you goes for me as well. We’ve already established that I’m an idiot.”

Lee snorted, then sniffled again. Noah didn’t look back at her. There wasn’t much privacy outside, but it was better than nothing.

“You can’t just sit here if you want to find out,” Noah said. “She did go looking, you know.”

“So what?”

“So nothing. It’s up to you in the end. You’re the person that Moxie needs to apologize to, and if you don’t want an apology, that’s up to you. But if you want an apology, you’re going to need to let her give it to you.”

“And if she’s just going to find professors to kill me?”

“Maybe she is. I don’t know,” Noah replied, rubbing his chin. “I suppose the logical thing to do would be to get out of here just in case. Avoid the risk. Maybe you could rejoin the kids and I if we end up deciding to leave the school. Or you could be an idiot. I’m always partial to the latter option.”

Lee shifted behind Noah. He waited a few moments, then turned around. She was gone. He let out a thoughtful grunt and turned back around to rest his chin in his palm. He just hoped that he’d read Moxie correctly.

***

Moxie found Lee sitting in the shade of a gnarled tree. She could have sworn she’d just passed the tree a minute ago and seen nothing there, but it was a moot point now. The two stared at each other for several seconds.

With slow, deliberate steps, Moxie walked up until she was a few body length’s away from Lee. Then she sat down.

Neither of them spoke. They just sat there, silently watching one another. Finally, Moxie let out a slow breath, adding to the gentle rustle of the garden plants around them.

“How do I know?”

“Know what?” Lee asked. “That I’m not going to try to kill everyone?”

“Yes.”

“How am I supposed to prove it?”

Moxie looked to the side. “I don’t know.”

They fell silent again. The breeze rustled Moxie’s hair and chilled her skin as the sun dipped below a heavy cover of grey clouds, removing its light from the day.

“How long does it take to become friends with someone?” Lee asked abruptly.

Moxie blinked. “What? I don’t know. It’s not like there’s a timer on it. It just… happens.”

“Would you hurt your friends?”

“I don’t have friends,” Moxie said promptly. “They’re not appropriate for me. I can’t afford them yet.”

“You need to buy friends?”

Moxie frowned. “No. But you need to be able to provide for them. Friends are people you protect, and I’m not strong enough to protect anyone yet. If I was, I wouldn’t be worried about you. Why are you asking this?”

“Because I’m curious. If there isn’t a limit on how long you have to know someone, then Vermil is my friend. Isabel and Todd are my friends. I thought you were one too.”

Moxie pressed her lips together. “Can demons have friends? I thought you valued suffering and power more than anything else.”

“I don’t think so,” Lee said softly. “I haven’t had any before. The Damned Plains aren’t very good for caring about people. I just wanted to leave. Helping people feels good. I didn’t think anyone would ever care about learning from me.”

That’s the reason I teach – no, damn it. I’m not agreeing with a demon. I know what they are. I’ve read about them. They’re manipulative. This is just a trick.

But… what if it isn’t?

“Why didn’t you tell anybody earlier?” Moxie asked. “If we’d known instead of me suddenly finding out–”

“You would have tried to kill me then as well. That’s what all humans do. I know. I wouldn’t have even told Vermil if I could have. I didn’t want this to end.”

Moxie closed her mouth. Lee was right. The time when she’d learned hardly mattered. Demons were too dangerous to be left alive.

Right?

“But–”

“Humans just kill everything they don’t like,” Lee said, cutting Moxie off. Her eyes flickered with anger. “I can’t blame them, but it pisses me off to see you acting so much better than us. You’re exactly the same. How many monkeys has Vermil killed? And I saw that professor trying to cheat to make Isabel lose the exam. How is that any better than anything demons do?”

That’s not the same thing.

Moxie didn’t actually say her thoughts out loud. They sounded weak, even in her head.

“Between us, I’m the only one that hasn’t acted according to my so called nature,” Lee continued, rising to her feet. “You did exactly what the other demons that I did manage to speak to said you would. Vermil is the only one that didn’t, and that’s only because he–”

Lee cut herself off.

“He’s an idiot. Yeah,” Moxie continued, shaking her head. “If everyone was like how he is now, maybe the world would be a different place. But, more realistically, we’d just all be dead. He’s not strong enough to act the way he does. You need strength to show mercy, and I don’t have it.”

“Then maybe you aren’t stronger than he is at all.”

Moxie rose to her feet as well. “It doesn’t matter. My duty is to my student. I need to protect her. That is my duty.”

“And I’ve been teaching her how to fight. I’ve been teaching you.”

Moxie bit her inner cheek. “How am I just supposed to trust you?”

“Would this have been any different if you’d found my identity out in a year rather than now?”

“No.”

“Then it doesn’t matter. Nothing I could do would ever convince you. Even if I made a Rune Oath, you’d just think the wording was some form of trick. They’re not exhaustive. There are always workarounds.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Moxie demanded. “I can’t trust you. You can’t trust me.”

“I never said I didn’t trust you.”

Moxie faltered. “What?”

“You showed up alone. Doesn’t that mean you trust me, at least a little?”

Moxie paused. “I – well, I didn’t think you would attack me.”

“Why?”

Moxie ground her teeth together. She was losing ground so fast that it felt like it was falling out beneath her feet.

“I don’t know.”

“Is it because you still wanted to be friends?”

“I don’t have friends.”

“Why not?” Lee asked. “Friends help each other. It’s nice. Do you want to be a demon? Because that’s what I used to hear other demons say when they turned on each other, breaking their alliances for just a little more power. You sound just like them. What’s wrong with trying to trust people? Isn’t it better to be betrayed than to be alone?”

Moxie’s hands lowered to her sides. Despite herself, a quick burst of bitter laughter slipped out of her lips. “Spoken like someone who’s never been betrayed.”

Lee stared at Moxie silently.

Moxie’s heart twisted.

Damn it.

“You really thought I was your friend?” Moxie asked.

Lee didn’t respond.

Moxie’s eyes prickled. She blinked in surprise, raising a hand to her face. It was wet.

“Then you really can’t trust me,” Moxie said. “Don’t you see what I’m saying? If you feel that I betrayed you, there’s no way you could possibly–”

“I still trust you,” Lee said. “I still want to be friends.”

“How?” Moxie demanded.

A small smile flickered across Lee’s face. “Maybe I’m just a bit of an idiot.”

Moxie stared at her. She felt like her mind was trying to split itself in half. No option felt like it was the right one. No matter what she did, the alternative could come back. She could fail.

She could fail again.

Her chest tightened and her stomach flipped. Moxie’s hands clenched at her sides.

It isn’t just my life I’m betting. But she could have made a move already. I was so panicked about there being a demon. But what if –

I’m just going in circles. This is pointless.

I don’t want to live like this.

Moxie slowly raised her gaze again. “I’m sorry, Lee. I… I may have misjudged you.”

Lee blinked in surprise. “You want to be friends?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Yes, but I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

Moxie stared at Lee. “You came here fully expecting that I would betray you? Again?”

“It would technically just be once, since you’d just be sticking to the first betrayal. But, yes. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

I know what I’m supposed to do. Emily’s safety is the only priority. I shouldn’t risk it, even if I believe Lee.

But… the Torrin family doesn’t know. This is a decision I can actually make for myself, one where they don’t have a knife to my back. When was the last time I could actually do that?

“If you aren’t planning to hunt me down, I can offer you a Rune Oath,” Lee offered. “Then again, if you are planning to kill me and you make one of those, it’s not going to go too well for you when the Oath rips your runes up as I die.”

Noah’s words echoed irritatingly at the back of Moxie’s head.

Am I going to be an idiot or not? If I accept the Rune Oath, that would help ensure Emily wasn’t at risk – but it would show that I don’t actually trust Lee in the slightest. I know what the Torrins would do.

But, if I accept the oath and Lee does find a way to wiggle out of it, I won’t be able to safely fight against her because I’ll cripple my own Runes if she dies. I’m not an expert on Rune Oaths either – I couldn’t make one that was really effective on the spot.

Even if I could… maybe, just this one time, I can trust someone because I choose to, not because the family told me I had to, even if it isn’t the right move. It’s not just Lee I’m putting my faith in here. It’s Vermil.

“I don’t need a Rune Oath,” Moxie said, clenching her fists by her sides. “And that clearly goes both ways, just like you said. I want to believe you, Lee. But I need to protect Emily as well. Just promise me that you really don’t have any plans to ever hurt Emily or any of the other students. A normal promise. Not a Rune Oath.”

Lee inclined her head. “I promise.”

They were silent for a few moments. Moxie blinked a few times in rapid succession and glanced over her shoulder, clearing her throat.

“Is that it? I haven’t done this before.”

“I don’t know,” Lee muttered. “Neither have I.”

“It doesn’t feel like enough.” Moxie bit her lower lip. “Vermil was right. I didn’t actually use what I knew of you when I made the judgement. I just listened to some vague warnings in an old book without putting any thought into it. This was wrong, even if my suspicions were right.”

“It’s okay. I forgave you already.”

“That easily?” Moxie demanded. “But how do you know that I’m not–”

Lee took a step toward Moxie. Then she reared back and punched her in the face. Moxie swore, stumbling back and raising a hand to her stinging cheek. The blow hadn’t been anywhere near the strength that Lee could have used – she knew from the training session’s they’d had.

“There,” Lee said. “Is that better?”

Somehow, yes.

Moxie rubbed her cheek, working her jaw. “I suppose I deserved that.”

“Usually, demons solve their problems by trying to beat each other to death. I never really liked the idea all that much as I prefer being alive, but I suppose there’s an appeal to a good punch.”

A small smile crossed Moxie’s lips. “I suppose there is.”

“Should we head back before Vermil starts wondering if we’re killing each other?” Lee asked.

Moxie nodded. “That might be a good idea, yes.”