Chapter 509: What is love?

Violet squinted at Yoru in search of any derision or sarcasm. There was none. As far as she could tell, the masked demon was being completely honest with her — and if anything, that only made it odder.

“What do you mean, what is a friend?” Violet asked, baffled as she sat back against her desk, using it for the first time as she scooted back to get a better seat and stained the back of her pants with dust in the process.

“Exactly what I said.” Yoru went to sit down on the bedroll at her feet. Violet’s eyes narrowed. They’d just been walking around all day, and the demon was hardly clean. Even though her bedroll was far from a paramount of cleanliness, it was hers. Violet didn’t get a chance to say anything. Even as her lips parted, Yoru paused.

“I am not dirty.”

“You did it again,” Violet snapped, her eyes going narrow. “Stop reading my damn mind, you creep. No wonder you’re asking what a friend is if this is how you act. Doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.”

Yoru’s head tiled to the side, a movement that Violet was quickly starting to associate with when the masked demon was doing… whatever it was that she did.

“You would have been displeased if I sat down.”

“Yeah, well I’m even more displeased that you’re digging through my damn head,” Violet snapped.

“Less displeased than if I sat down.”

Violet considered that for a second and was annoyed to find that Yoru was right. If anything, that just annoyed her even more.

“Forget it,” Violet said with a sigh. “Just stay away from Aylin. Torrick and Edda too. I don’t want you anywhere near them.”

“I do not have any intention to harm any of them at the current point in time.” Yoru bundled her long, white hair up and lowered herself to the ground and crossing her legs beneath herself. She plopped the ball of hair down in her lap.

That’s an odd way to phrase it. Anyone else would say ‘I’m not any threat to them’, not ‘I don’t plan on being a problem right now, but who knows about later. We’ll see, teehee’. What is wrong with this girl?

“What—”

“There is nothing wrong with me.”

“Gods damn it,” Violet snapped, thrusting a finger at Yoru. “I told you to fucking stop. What is your problem? If you can predict the future, then why do you keep doing this?”

“Because it is the path in which you tell me what a friend is.”

Violet’s eye twitched. “Did you consider that I could just stand up here and now? I could walk out of this tent and tell Spider that you’ve got something seriously wrong with your head. Why would I tell you anything, much less waste time on such a stupid question?”

“You won’t,” Yoru said. “You are too interested in learning about my goals to pass up the chance. I will tell you what you wish to know if you answer my questions.”

“You’re a right bitch, you know that?” Violet asked, jaw clenched in irritation. “How do I know you’re going to tell the truth? Nobody would just reveal the exact details of their plan if it was nefarious.”

“Because you will not ask any questions I need to avoid answering and the offer is too tempting for you to refuse.”

It was a battle to keep Violet’s true thoughts from showing on her face. A battle she won, but she was pretty sure it didn’t even matter. Yoru probably knew what she was thinking anyway. A huge part of her just wanted to spin and leave the room just to spite the other demon, but Yoru was right.

The chance to find out more about Yoru was just too important to pass up. Violet pushed away from her table and sat down across from Yoru, slapping her palms down on her knees.

“Fine,” Violet said. “What’s the point of this in the first place? Can’t you just read the answer from my mind?”

“I know what your answer is, but the meaning of it evades me. I do not understand.”

“That makes absolutely no sense, but I’ll humor you. A friend is someone you love.”

“I do not understand.”

“Yeah, I figured that much. What part of that do you understand?”

“I understand that you do not understand me. I do not understand what a friend is. I do not understand what love is, either. Because I do not understand love, I do not understand what a friend is.”

“You could have just said you didn’t get what love was, but I probably should have guessed,” Violet muttered. “You—”

Yoru tilted her head to the side.

“I told you to stop,” Violet exclaimed, giving up on her previous sentence. “I am answering your stupid questions. Why are you trying to read my mind?”

“It is not mind reading. I am predicting your answers.”

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“Why? I am answering them now. Literally right now. As we speak. What is the point of figuring out what I’m going to say before I say it when I’ve already agreed to say it?”

“To know what you are going to say. I am not going to do that.”

“Stop doing — wait.” Violet’s mouth dropped open. “Did you just answer my question before I asked it?”

“Yes.” Yoru’s head tilted to the other side and her back stiffened. “No.”

“You need to stop — oh, damn it all. I hate you. Seriously, stop answering my questions before I ask them. You need to stop reading my mind. If you want me to answer your questions, turn that shit off. Speak to me like a normal demon. In fact, I can promise you that you’re never going to understand what friendship or love or any of that is if you don’t stop all of this.”

Nearly three seconds passed in silence. For a moment, Violet thought that Yoru was contemplating her words. Then she realized that the other demon’s head was tilted to the side.

Is she…

“You do not budge on this,” Yoru said, a note of surprise entering her voice. “We argue for nearly an hour before you give up and leave if I do not do this.”

“You can see the future that far out?” Violet tried to keep the disbelief from her voice and failed completely. “How? Although I will admit that’s actually kind of useful. We’re going to get nowhere if you don’t meet me on even ground.”

“I am strong,” Yoru replied simply. Her head returned to a normal position and there was another pause. This time, Violet couldn’t tell if Yoru was looking into the future or simply thinking. “I am… uneasy. I do not want to not know. It scares me.”

Just how strong is Yoru? Definitely stronger than me if she’s telling the truth about being able to see that far into the future. But for someone so strong, she’s surprisingly open about her thoughts and feelings. What a strange demon.

“That’s normal,” Violet said, heaving out a sigh and shaking her head. “Up to you, Yoru. But if you do that future crap one more time, we’re done. I’m leaving. Go ahead, use your future sight or whatever it is. You’ll see I’m dead serious.”

“If I use it, that would be one more time.”

“I — oh, just do it.”

“I already did. You are telling the truth.”

Violet couldn’t quite tell if she was irritated or not. Speaking to Yoru kind of felt like sticking her head into a pot and banging it with a wooden spoon until her ears rung. She ran her hands through her hair and arched an eyebrow.

“So?”

It was several more seconds before Yoru spoke again.

“I will not stop, but I will suspend my powers for the next few minutes. I am not comfortable doing it for longer.”

“I suppose that’s as good as we’re going to get,” Violet said.

You smell like day old meat. And cheese. Your hair is also stupid looking. You should cut it before you trip over it and fall on that dumb mask of yours.

“It is,” Yoru agreed. “Now tell me about what a friend is.”

Yoru didn’t say anything about Violet’s thoughts. Either she was lying or she’d actually stopped looking into Violet’s head. There was no way to know for sure.

“The answer didn’t change just because you don’t understand it,” Violet replied. “It’s someone you love, and someone that loves you. I don’t know how I’m supposed to describe love.”

“Try.”

“I don’t think any number of words could ever truly describe love. It’s something you have to experience, not hear about.”

“Try anyway.”

Violet chewed the insides of her cheeks for a second. “Love is giving someone your last piece of food when you’re starving. It’s putting your life in someone’s hands and taking theirs in your own.”

“Being willing to die for someone? That does not sound like a beneficial thing. Why would I desire to risk myself for another? All that matters is my own survival.”

There wasn’t a hint of derision or, for that matter, emotion of any kind in Yoru’s voice. It sounded like she was just stating a fact. The idea of caring for someone other than herself was completely foreign to her.

“That’s the complete wrong way to look at it,” Violet said. “Love isn’t transactional. Friendship isn’t about giving something and getting something. It’s about being with people that make you happy.”

Yoru was silent for a moment.

“What is happy?”

“Oh, fuck me,” Violet said, burying her face in her hands. “Do you know the definition of a single word?”

“I know the definition. I do not understand the word.”

“I refuse to believe you do not understand the meaning of happiness.” Violet raised her head again. “Maybe this isn’t the best example, but haven’t you ever gotten something you wanted?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s—”

“I get everything I want,” Yoru said. “The future exists as I craft it. I have never failed to achieve my desires. There have been longer and shorter routes, but every single one leads to victory.”

Of course.

“You’re telling me you haven’t failed? Not once?”

“In a complete plan? No. I have only received setbacks, but that is only because the probabilities of the future are ever-shifting. So long as I can view them, I am in control. I have felt fear. I have seen death, but a path remains in the dark.”

Violet stared at Yoru. It was difficult to comprehend what she was saying. Everyone lost. Even the most powerful demons occasionally didn’t win a fight, or they didn’t have something go exactly as planned.

It was incomprehensible to think someone could have literally just never been in a position where they’d felt defeat.

“What about before you got your magic? You weren’t born with that powerful rune, were you?” Violet pressed. “There has to be a time that you didn’t just… win.”

The other demon stiffened slightly. “I do not have many memories of my time before I got my rune. The ones I have are not pleasant. I do not wish to relive them. But, even if I did, they are so muted that I can barely recall them.”

“That’s… really sad, actually,” Violet said, surprised to find that the predominant emotion she felt was pity.

If Yoru was serious, then she’d literally never had a chance to feel anything. There was no way to feel happy if you’d never had loss to compare it to. If everything always went the exact way that Yoru wanted it to, then how could she ever celebrate a victory? Winning wasn’t possible when losing wasn’t either. It sounded so… flat. Empty.

If this is actually true… Spider might actually be right. It doesn’t matter how old Yoru is. She might as well be child if she’s literally never had a chance to live.

“Why is it sad?” Yoru asked. “I—”

“Don’t understand,” Violet finished.

Yoru’s hands tightened around her hair and she gave it a small tug. “I… do not like that.”

“Yeah, well now you know how it feels.” Violet tried not to let herself sound too smug. “But I’ve got good news for you. If you’re actually serious about wanting to know what friendship and all that other shit is, then I know how to do it.”

“How?” Yoru asked. “I want to know. I hate not knowing.”

“You’re going to hate this even more,” Violet muttered under her breath before returning to her normal volume. “You need to stop using your powers.”