Chapter 122: The Void

The next two days passed by in a blur to Noah. He flitted in and out of consciousness, slowly regaining energy but still largely unable to move more than a few steps. He spent most of his time checking on his mindspace, trying to see if the damage was healing, but something was different.

Unlike his previous soul wounds, the massive cracks running throughout the darkness weren’t showing any signs of patching. They were just as bad as they’d been two days ago, and something told Noah that they weren’t going to improve on their own in any reasonable amount of time.

Mercifully, he wasn’t getting hammered with any visions. That did, at least, answer one more question for him. The initial images he’d seen of the monkeys had been somehow directed and not just an effect of constant death.

He’d known that the Hellreaver had been attacking him with the visions of its eye, but this was the first confirmation that the other visions were also directly tied to it. Noah made a mental note to ask Brayden if he knew about the Hellreaver’s Runes – maybe it had something that gave more access to his soul.

Well, either that or it’s because it ate me. Hm. If I eat the smaller monsters that a Great Monster is connected to, would I be able to do the same thing? Or if I eat the Great Monster, would I get to do anything to the smaller ones? Now there’s an idea. One I can test once I actually get out of this damn bed. This very comfortable, soft, damn bed.

Noah paced around the confines of his soul, as it was the only place he could actually move his body for more than a few seconds at a time without collapsing. The more time he spent there, the more he became convinced that something about the damage to his soul felt… off.

“What’s up with this stuff?” Noah asked, sitting at the edge of one of the large cracks and bringing the back of his hand closer to the void within. It passed through the nothingness like it was – well, nothing.

Noah’s brow furrowed and he chewed his lower lip. Even though there wasn’t anything in the void, something about it felt familiar. It was like meeting an old acquaintance after years apart. Even though his subconscious felt a vague sense of remembrance toward it, he couldn’t place what it was for the life of him.

The muted sound of the door opening pulled Noah from his mindspace, and he opened his eyes as Moxie walked into the room with a plate bearing two small pies.

“Vermil,” Moxie said. “Still alive?”

“Barely,” Noah replied with a chuckle. He gritted his teeth, pushing himself upright with aching arms. “At least I can sit on my own now.”

“Among other things,” Moxie said with a shake of her head. She set the plate down on her desk. “What did you do to yourself?”

“Do you really want to know the answer to that?”

Moxie’s features turned serious and she fell silent for several seconds. “I’m surprised to say that I’m not sure. Nobody likes being kept in the dark, but the reactions everyone else gave me when I asked spoke volumes. Lee told me it was even more important than her secret, and I might not be the best person to spill your soul to.”

Noah blinked. “What? Why? Not that keeping certain things close to chest doesn’t make things safer for all of us, but why wouldn’t you be worth confiding in?”

“I’ve got my own ties,” Moxie said, her face unreadable. She turned her chair to face Noah and sat down in it with a huff. “More than enough for me to see where you’re coming from. We’ve all got secrets, and some that belong to me aren’t always mine to keep.”

Something to do with her family, based on how she reacted to the news about Father.

“That sounds ominous,” Noah said. “How bad are we talking here?”

“Nothing you can do anything about,” Moxie replied with a snort. “Especially not right now. What are you going to do, roll aggressively in their direction?”

“I’d probably be pretty scared if someone rolled at me.”

“Sure,” Moxie said, rolling her eyes. She picked up one of the pies and handed it to Noah. “Can you eat?”

He forced a hand up, taking the pie from her, and brought it to his mouth. The small motion was nearly enough to drain his arm completely of energy, but he still managed to get it down. Moxie took the rest of the pastry from him and set it back on the table.

“Thanks,” Noah said, letting his arm drop with a grimace. “I guess neither of us can quite do what we’re trying to.”

“At least you can do something,” Moxie said, raising her eyes to look out the window. “It looks like you’re recovering.”

My soul isn’t.

“Kind of,” Noah agreed. “I hope I’m better in time to help Isabel and Todd prepare for the survival exam.”

“Lee’s taken them for a trip to practice. She insisted on it,” Moxie said. “Emily went too. Don’t worry about them. If anyone knows how to survive, it’s probably Lee.”

Noah blinked. “But I thought…”

“I wouldn’t let Emily go with Lee unsupervised?” Moxie let out a huff. “Yeah. I thought about it. But Isabel gave me the rundown of the fight. Most of it, at least. I know she left parts out – it doesn’t matter for this, though. They trust her completely, and if there is a potentially dangerous Rank 5 demon roaming around Arbitage, leaving the area is safer. And I–”

Moxie cut herself off. Noah frowned.

“What?”

She grabbed the pie and stuffed it into his mouth. “No more questions.”

Noah chewed, swallowing the rest of the food. “Fair enough. Thanks for the food. And the bed. Again.”

“Just stop mentioning it. It’ll be a few days until Lee and the others are back, so try to get yourself moving before then. I know they’re going to want to see you again. Also, I might not swing by tomorrow. I’ll try to bring some food just in case.”

“You’re keeping track of how much everything costs, right? I’ll pay you back.”

Moxie snorted. “You already did. I’m taking most of the food out of your pay. I registered your advancement to Rank 2 with the school and liberated the pay.”

“You can do that?”

“Brayden backed me before he left.”

“Nice guy, Brayden.”

“Surprisingly decent for a Linwick,” Moxie agreed. She picked up the other pie and took a large bite out of it. “Or maybe it’s just the Torrins that are the problem.”

“Trust me, I think the Linwicks share at least half the blame,” Noah said, sending a pointed glance down at his body.

Moxie polished off the rest of her pie. She stood up, brushing the crumbs off her shirt. “Do you need anything? I’ve got a meeting to get to soon.”

“You’ve already got me covered. I’m all good.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hurt yourself shuffling around. I’ll be back tonight,” Moxie said, putting the chair back by her desk and waving over her shoulder as she headed out of the room. The door clicked shut behind her.

Something’s definitely up with Moxie, but I’m of no use to anybody in this state. I need to figure out what’s going on with my soul and recover from this shit already.

With that, Noah sank back into his mindspace. As the white cracks sprawled across the darkness and his runes materialized around him, Noah once again felt the familiar sensation envelop him.

“It’s odd,” Noah said to himself as he walked up to one of the cracks and knelt beside it. “I’d think there would be something uncomfortable about this. I mean, the whole bedridden bit is awful, but the void doesn’t feel… bad.”

Nobody answered him. Noah sat back and crossed his legs, leaning his chin in the palm of his hand. And there he sat.

As he relaxed, the strange sensation grew more prominent. Whenever his attention turned toward it, it vanished. But, when he relaxed and just let himself simply exist, it returned. It was a gentle embrace, with just enough chill to keep him aware.

Almost like a running river. But… kind of boring, honestly. I wish something –

Noah’s thoughts ground to a halt. He finally realized what the sensation reminded him of. He shot to his feet, his skin prickling as he turned his gaze away from the void, searching his mindspace intently.

The sensation wasn’t coming from the soul wounds at all. It was coming from his entire soul, and it was the very same feeling that one of the Goddesses of Rebirth, Renewal, had given him.

And, of course, the instant Noah actively tried to reach out for it, the energy fled from him like a school of terrified fish. He let out an exasperated huff and forced himself to sit back down, closing his eyes and slowing his breathing.

Slowly, the feeling returned. Noah kept his eyes closed and reached out to it, like he would a Rune. Now that he knew what it was, the sensation came easier. His body felt like it had been submerged in a gentle river on a summer day.

Can I use it to repair the soul wounds?

Noah let his eyes drift open. He tried to grasp the energy and direct it into the cracks riddling his soul, but it slipped out of his grasp. Sitting in it didn’t seem to do anything to the cracks either.

Noah’s brow furrowed. “I don’t understand. Why is this energy here? It’s not part of my Runes. I don’t think it’s part of my Soul either. It feels foreign, but like it belongs at the same time. I need to research.”

His eyes closed once more. There was still a good amount of time before Moxie got back, and he didn’t plan to waste it.

The next few hours passed quickly. Noah spent them all seated in the same position, trying to coax the energy into himself and direct it elsewhere. The first part of that challenge proved to be surprisingly easy.

With every attempt, Noah felt the river respond to him more easily. It was only a matter of time before it came almost instantly at his call. Unfortunately, actually doing anything with it proved to be far more difficult.

Noah tried begging. He tried suggesting. He stuck his hand into the void and hoped that just proximity would be enough – nothing worked. For all he knew, this was literally just another vision and it was just in his mind.

He refused to entertain that particular thought.

But, as the hours passed, Noah became more and more confident that, at least in its current form, the energy was completely inaccessible to him. He had absolutely no way to control it – which meant he had to change his strategy.

After a few more hours of pointless tests, Noah let himself open his eyes in the real world once more. There was only one thing he could think of that might let him actually access the energy, but he didn’t have any idea how he was possibly supposed to go about doing it – but he knew where to start.

When Moxie came back that evening, carrying a plate of fruits and cheeses for dinner, Noah was already sitting and waiting for her.

“What happened?” Moxie asked, pausing and glancing around. She set the plate down and closed the door behind her. “You look serious. Is something wrong?”

“I’ve got an important question,” Noah replied. “How do Runes form in nature?”