Grain of Truth

How long has he been like this - hiding who he was from me? It is clear he was committing these injustices while we were together, for his attack on Lily Maxwell occurred months before Nixon came after Zion.  I try and wrap my head around if I will approach him or not, if I will back Zion up into a corner and demand answers, and what I will do if I get those answers? Will I run? I have no where to run to. I have to think logically about this, especially when the fact that if the wrong person recognizes me, I could be hunted down.

I pace up and down the hallway, hands clasped behind my back as I try and think things over. I read more of Zion's black book last night, learning of his crimes as he went after men, woman, and children, following both the words of Lillian, but also the belief of past Priestesses. The werewolf empire still has Priestesses who devote their lives to the Moon Goddess, and though their influence is not as powerful as it once was, they still hold a sense of authority over the most traditional packs. The past Priestess came to Zion with a belief that there were children born during the eclipse who needed to be killed, for being born during an eclipse meant being born with some sort of ancient power within you. She had based this of records from the last eclipse and a group of men and women who grew to be powerful and dangerous pack leaders who committed crimes against the kingdom and started a war which lasted fifty years. She wanted these werewolf children dead and Zion agreed with her, believing some hoax as he sent his men to murder not the babies who would be born during the eclipse, but the pregnant mothers who were due to give time around the eclipse. Zion took some belief from the Priestess a step further and killed the mother and would-be child, something I could never imagine anyone but a sick individual doing.

How do you present these crimes to such a powerful man? I was his wife, I should be able to control the situation and put Zion in his place. But I know the woman I once was, for I was afraid of him back then, for he had beheaded my mate and, though it was never confirmed, could have killed my parents. I never thought he killed my parents in the end, but reading this makes me rethink everything. I have searched for if he killed my parents in his black book, reading into his misdeeds, but I could find no mention of my parent's names.

"Sybil, are you okay?"

"Just thinking," I respond, looking around to glance at Zion as he looks with concern at me at the opposite end of the hallway. I know why Elijah turned against Zion, I know the ugly truth which Zion committed against his best friend. Elijah was never Zion's best friend after what Zion did all those years ago and the fact that Elijah stuck around only lets me know that Zion's demise has been plotted since the night Zion killed Elijah's mate because he believed the right woman for Elijah was a relative. Zelda, Elijah's wife and who I thought was Elijah's mate, was an arranged marriage between two powerful families and Elijah was ordered by Zion to tell people Zelda was his mate. Who was Elijah's mate? A woman named Delilah who was murdered by Zion because her family had ties to the rogue Ring Leaders. "I was thinking about Elijah," I comment, deciding to not let the conversation end as I know I need to get my thoughts and frustrations out. "Zelda, Elijah's mate, did she ever have their child?" I remember Zelda was pregnant when things went down during my death.

Zion tilts his head to the side as he walks towards me. If I am to bring up everything I have read in the past day, I have Zion's black book on the window sill, hidden behind a plant where I hid it for if Zion was to pass by. "She did, they had a daughter. Why?"

"Do you still keep up with her? She is a relative of yours."

"Not since I renounced the throne," Zion answers, crossing his arms as I can tell he is getting uncomfortable.

Leaning against the wall, I try and calm my nerves, wondering how I will bring up these misdeeds if I am to actually do it tonight. "I once heard that Elijah and Zelda were not mates."

"Rumors are not true."

"But they hold a grain of truth," I point out. "Rumors of a darker past, murder without need, injustices against those innocent...there is a hint of truth to them. What people would whisper in the palace walls, I learned to make a note of it." I remember hearing of Zion having a darker past, for he even told me he was someone else when Lillian was around.

"What is this about?" Zion asks, his voice turning defensive as I try and hold my head high.

"Lillian was one hell of a woman," I look away from Zion, "you often described her with such a phrase. I knew she was a shadow of your past, but she was manipulative ever since she dug her claws into you."

I remember comparing myself to Lillian back in my past life, wondering if I could ever measure up to her. I now know that I will never measure up to the insane person she was, for she deserved the death which came to her, for she ordered the deaths of so many people. "I once thought you would let go to the memory of her, but love often bites you in the ass, but now I know that you will never let go of the memories of her because she is engraved into your soul."

"She was my mate, Sybil. Does Sebastian still hold a place in your heart?"

"No," I snap, my word bitter as I recall my mate who made me a rogue and didn't give two shits for who I was. "He does not deserve a moment of my time. I only recall him when I think of his head rolling on the marble floors of your palace as his body fell limp."

"You barely knew your mate," Zion defends himself, defending the woman who took control over him long ago.

"It is hard to let go of someone who used you," I point out, looking back to Zion as I begin to reach for the black book. "Someone who manipulated you and made you feel special. Lillian made you feel like the powerful Alpha King you were, but she made you a monster in the process. You still carried out her mindset even after her death."

Zion's skin pales for the first time ever, his eyes widening as fear is clearly written across his face. "Lily Maxwell came to love Nixon because he was changing as they developed their love. So how did Sybil Black come to love Zion when he hid his darkness from her? You lied to me for so long, hiding such a terrible side to you away, thinking I would never find out. Perhaps in my last life I did not find out who you really were, but I have found out now and I am not willing to hear you make excuses for these massacres."

"Sybil-"

"Your throne was built from the bodies of your victims, each one stacking it higher and higher as the gems on your crown represented each life you had taken," I spit, anger flooding my body as I throw the black book at Zion.

As he catches the book, I face him with my blood boiling, awaiting his words as the king without a crown is speechless. For the first time ever, Zion is scared to speak, afraid of his own words he used to twist around.

"Do you not feel remorse for what you did?" Zion remains silent as he tries to figure out his words. "I used to give up and give into your ways, to hold my tongue in fear one day it may be stepped on for saying the wrong thing, and felt like my words could not compare to your own because I was not someone of royal blood. I was called Queen of the Rogues, the only title I could say I hold with pride in this new life because I earned the respect of the rogues. Yet I did not know that my own husband had murdered their own Ring Leaders years ago."

"Kings have to make decisions which could be seen as harsh to those who do not understand the dangers of being a leader."

I scoff, taking a step towards the once powerful king. "That is bullshit, for anyone who heard of these misdeeds, royal or not, would want you put on trial. Just because I was not born into royalty does not mean I do not have morals. Do you not remember I was your Queen? I knew the hard decisions which had to be made. There is a reason why these misdeeds were kept secret."

"What do you want me to say, Sybil? To just throw around words which make you happy?"

"I want the truth."

"Of what?" Zion asks, eyes lost in emotions of sadness and anger.

"Why did you do these things? Was it because you wanted to feel powerful, thought they were guilty, felt like a higher power was calling you towards them? What?"

Silence fills the hallway as Zion flips to a center page in the book, one with the sketch of a woman with great beauty. I know he sketched Lillian, for who else could be there? "Lillian gave Nixon and me these books to document our deeds. She told us they were to document the deeds which could not be documented in royal records without causing an uproar. Overtime, it became a competition between Nixon and myself, comparing our own missions...and when Nixon married Lillian...well, I noticed how often the stories in this book were prompted by Lillian." Zion flips to a few pages before the end of the book, "Much of what I did, I believed I was doing it for the good of my kingdom, for a king must protect his kingdom."

"These killings are sick. You murdered children, babies, and unborn children before their births," I snap, Zion slightly nodding to my words. "How could I love someone that twisted?" I pose the question, trying to keep myself calm as Zion instantly looks hurt by my words.

"You saw the good in me."

"Because you kept another part of yourself hidden," I explain.

"We all have a darkness, demons in our soul which we try and keep from others."

"But my demons were not those which murdered innocent people. My demons were inner battles with myself. Normal people do not do what you did and may continue to do," I speak up, knowing I am right as Zion closes the black book. "You should have paid for what you did."

"You really believe that?" Zion asks, taking a step closer to me as I move away from him. "You really think I should have gone on trial for what I did? Maybe you think Nixon should have killed me instead of you?"

"You once said that you wish it was you who was killed rather than me. I was innocent and had a child in me. Do you really believe that?"

"You would have not tried to bring me back if I had died."

"Because it is not natural," I hiss, "it is not normal to bring someone back from the dead and expect them to be the same. The same Sybil would never have argued like I am now, for she would have backed down and let her demons battle within her and let her push what you did to the back of her mind."

"What do you think the outcome of all of this will be, Sybil? Did you think you would get some happy answer which would make all of my actions make sense?"

I bite my cheek, anger flowing through me as I take in a deep breath. "No. I did not expect you to give me an answer which would make me happy."

"Then why confront me?"

"Excuse me?!" I remark. "I confronted you because I learned the man I married held a dark side in which he killed innocent people. I wanted to find out why not because I believed there was some cheerful reason, but because I need the truth. You kept so many truths from me in the past that I am ashamed of myself. I can play the bitch now, I can confront you and demand answers as I snap back at you. Perhaps you preferred the past Sybil because she was weak and non-confrontation," I snap, seeing red, "well, welcome to the new Sybil who will no longer take your shit, Zion, welcome to the bitch who will get her answers. Just remember you don't always get what you ask for, especially when you resurrect someone.

"I know I cannot just leave because I have no where to go, I have no shelter, no friends, and if people learned of my existence they would hunt me. I know we owe Keva and her kin a child. I know reality and I am not going to forget that. I am not the weak woman I once was and you need to remember that from now on."

I push past the past king, furious as I rush towards the back door, the forest calling to me as I wish I could shift into my wolf and dig my paws into the mud as I run off my frustrations. My heart aches in my chest as I rush for the forest, my feet almost stomping against the ground as I enter the treeline. I see red all around me as I yell out in frustration, angry of just how many lies I had been living for so long.

I begin to run, pushing off of my feet and into the forest as the wind rushes through my hair and I breathe in the fresh air. Just as I jump over a small stream, my bones begin to pop, hair sprouting out of my skin as I push harder. My legs begin to ache and feel a sudden burst of pain as I collapse onto the forest floor. Yelling out in agony, I look to my leg, seeing the bones begin to take form as my other leg gives out as well. My face meets the ground as my arms can no longer hold me up, my claws digging into the dirt as I look up to the floor of the forest, my sense of smell heightened as I get back up on my legs.

Throwing my head back, I let out an ear-piercing howl into the night sky, the wind running through my fur as I look ahead to the trail before me. I smile seems to form on my lips, my canines revealed as I snap my powerful jaws. I push off my paws, running once more as the wind blows through my coat of fur, and my wolf runs free for the first time in years.