Volume 1, Chapter 19: Meimei wasnât happy already
TL: flarewk
Time, 4.30 am early dawn.
Location, my room.
I used my most serious expression to stare at my blood-related sister, An Xin Ran.
Currently, I had already put on a piece of T-shirt, while Xin Ran also under my strong request placed on her sleeping gown.
She sat on my bed while hugging my pillow as she had a rare expression of unease on her face, while I was sitting on the chair, with my expression like dead water.
Just earlier, my dearest meimei created for me an uniquely permanent black history in my entire lifetime.
âI didnât think that a manâs there could even urinate out pee after becoming hardened.â
You still had the gall to say it!! If itâs not because my personality was rather composed, and my face rather more thick-skinned, I couldnât possibly be facing you like that, alright! If itâs some other people, they might even have the thoughts onto suiciding already!
Siiâ¦â¦â¦.Huuâ¦â¦â¦..
Calm down, be composed, I mustnât start yelling.
An unplanned loud argument would be completely meaningless, and as long as we converse properly, Iâm sure Iâll be able to understand Xin Ranâs inner thoughts.
I changed my usually meek attitude, and used a slightly harsher tone, a punishment-speaking way to begin this talk.
âYouâd better sit properly, did you know what youâve done?â
ââ¦â¦â¦..I know.â
Of course she knew what she was doing. Rather than that, itâs because she had already knew about it, which was why she would do such things at all.
My meimeiâs a bro-con.
Plus sheâs an especially severe bro-con.
That status that was shining out pink-colored radiancy was the most direct proof already.
Accepting her would be impossible, be it from a moral logicâs, ethical logicâs, and lawâs impossibility. Sheâs different from Ke Ling who became my meimei thereafter. Xin Ranâs my blood meimei, and we have blood relations with each other.
And so, there was completely no need for any worry at all, and by right I should just resolutely tell her that it was impossibleâ¦â¦â¦â¦but right now itâs already been far too late.
If it was when Xin Ran just started to develop special feelings for me and I had extinguished it, there wouldnât be that much things happening already then. But the dense me had always never noticed about itâ¦â¦â¦.even five days back I still thought that Xin Ran had hated me.
With the result of it becoming into this state now, of my blood meimei seizing the moment while I was sleeping and did every single thing of what she wasnât supposed to do at all.
Afterwards, if I was to suddenly say out right now âItâs impossible between blood-related siblings, and there wonât be an ending for the both of us.â these sort of words, Xin Ran would probably, no, definitely enter a dark and sinisterous state then.
For the sake of a healthy meimeiâs feelings as well as my personal safetyâs considerations, this path of âdirectly rejectingâ would be deemed to be not traversable already.
I must avoid a dangerous route, as I donât want to welcome my lifeâs BAD ENDING at all.
Communication was a thing that could solve a huge majority of problems. Sweet talking could help to get girls, soft gentle words could comfort other people, grandiloquence speaking could aid in bolstering courage, self-mumbling could help to tidy up your thoughts!
And what I needed now, was direct yet quick words!
âFrom when did it started?â
âFive years agoâ¦â¦â¦â¦â
Pu!
Five years!
The time gap was a little too overboard already!
Then that means, in this nearly one thousand eight hundred plus days of time-span, every night I would be like a dead corpse being unaware?
âEveryday always coming over?â
Xin Ran suddenly lowered her head and kept silent.
What should I do now?
Was it time to use that method alreadyâ¦â¦â¦..
âHaaaâ¦â¦â¦â¦I get it, you had a nightmare, right?â
I lied, even though I knew Xin Ran completely wasnât looking for me because of having nightmares, but I made up an excuse of my own will instead. Although the act of lying would make me feel the rebuking of my conscience, with my entirety feeling extremely discomforted thereafter, but there wasnât any choice left at this point of time.
âDo you still remember when the both of us were still living in the same room, there was once when you had a nightmare too, and ended up crawling into my blanket.â
That was also false too, as there wasnât any of that sort of thing at all, but since itâs such a long time ago already, Iâll just falsify up some memories.
It was extremely far fetched, and itâs possible that she had already saw that I was lying.
But as long as I choose to compromise at this moment, the both of us would be able to temporarily obtain some retreating paths, and weâll both be slightly better off a little.
Xin Ran silently nodded her head, as her aloof expression became way much more relaxed; sheâs probably slightly more assured already.
Iâll temporarily let it be like this first then, I canât pressurize her any further.
I gave off a sigh as I stood up from the chair, and was just wanting to tell her âGo back to sleep then.â , when she opened her mouth first to ask me.
âGege, youâ¦â¦â¦.were awake from the very beginning?â
âNo, I just awakened not too long ago.â
âYou also didnât sleep yesterday, right?â
âYou knew?â
How did she know about that?
âCoffee, you poured it into the trash can.â
So itâs been discovered already huhâ¦â¦â¦..tch, if I had known about this I should have just poured it into the toilet bowl instead.
âAnd so you deduced out from the coffee in the trash can that I wasnât sleeping last night, and that itâs very possible that I had already known about youâ¦â¦â¦..even though you knew it, you still came over today.â
âMm, yesterday I was already mentally ready for itâ¦â¦â¦..â
I see, no wonder just now Xin Ran didnât have any sort of hyper-panicky expression at all, and was able to be that composed, itâs all because that she was already mentally prepared long ago.
âI finally can tell you already, Gegeâ¦â¦â¦..I love you, itâs not the love between family members, I really love gege, Xin Ran loves you the most.â
The expression on her face became incomparably serious, and I could feel that Xin Ran wasnât speaking falsely at all.
Itâs different from the joke made by Ji Lian Bing, itâs a confession that encompasses determination.
So being mentally ready wasnât referring to being mentally prepared onto being discovered by me, but itâs regarding about the confession towards me, huh?
To be honest, Iâm really a little touched by it.
But being touched is one thing, and accepting it or not was another. The morality rule within my heart disallowed me to accept this set of confession.
âXin Ran, Iâ¦â¦â¦â
âYou donât need to reply me, Iâve never anticipated before for your answer. I already understood about it from the start, but I just couldnât resist it inside me. Even though I know youâre my gege, I still want to hug you, be closer to youâ¦â¦â¦..so, please allow me to temporarily stay by your side, okay? I promise that I wonât interfere onto your lifeâ¦â¦â¦..â
Shock.
So everything was just only my wild imagination, and there wasnât a need at all to even start enlightening her, as she had from a long time ago thought clearly about it. She must had been more confused than me, thought out more of this than me, was more troubled than me, beginning from the start of five years ago, all the way, all the way being conflictedâ¦â¦â¦..
Facing onto this sort of meimei, how could I go on to reject her final plea?
âI got itâ¦â¦â¦but, we must properly define out the borderlines first.â
âMm.â
Well, next should be finally asking that no-choice-but-to-ask-out sort of question already, huhâ¦â¦â¦..
I shut my eyes, engrossing myself into a few seconds of deep thought before I raised her a question that I was most concerned with.
âThen be honest with me, while I was sleeping, till what point have you gone to already?â
ââ¦â¦â¦..Hugging and sleeping only.â
âYou just now even kissed me, heeh, now tell me the truth, what have you done to me already? If not Iâll go tell LaomÄâ¦â¦â¦.â
The corner of her lipâs curvature slightly curled downwards, Xin Ran seemingly looked to be rather displeased, or maybe unhappy?
If itâs the usual me, Iâll definitely be succumbed to her already.
Being afraid of meimei hating me even more made me choose to take several retreating steps in my actionsâ¦â¦â¦..but! Todayâs initiativeâs control was at my side! I must ask her clearly, if not every night when my blood-related meimei crawled onto my bed, being naked as she sneaked underneath my blanket, I wouldnât be able to live out my days any more!
Although still displaying a look of unhappy expression on her face, she still described continuously and pleasantly out all her deeds, and I heard it on and on till the point that I actually dripped cold sweat.
âHug, grope, kiss, lickâ¦â¦â¦..parts are cheeks, lips, neck, bodyâ¦â¦â¦..when your in deep sleep, french kissâ¦â¦â¦â¦saliva drinking.â
It was said that men were creatures that only used their lower half to think, but right now it seemed that women werenât that much rational as wellâ¦â¦â¦â¦
But just these alone shouldnât still be all of it, she definitely didnât say out everything.
âAnd?â
âNo more already.â
âIf you donât say the truth, then donât think of coming to my room ever again.â
ââ¦â¦â¦â¦Used gegeâs hands to rub against my breasts and private partsâ¦â¦â¦â¦.placing that thing into my mouthâ¦â¦â¦..â
A pervert!!
My meimeiâs a pervert!
Although this alone was too over-the-edge already, I still had a nagging suspicion that thereâs still something deceiving about it.
âNothing already?â
âNothing already.â
âReally nothing already?â
âReally nothing already.â
âGood, since LaomÄâs at home today, Iâll go suggest to her to hold a family meeting thenâ¦â¦â¦.â
I pretended to stand up and leave the room, and I hadnât left my bed when Xin Ran grabbed onto my wrists.
ââ¦â¦â¦..Only once, seizing the opportunity when gege had an erection, I rubbed it against my crotchâ¦â¦â¦..definitely didnât insert it in at all. If you donât believe me, I can open it up and show you my hymen.â
âOnly once?â
ââ¦â¦â¦â¦Three times.â
âThree times?â
ââ¦â¦â¦â¦Thirteen times.â
âHow many times exactly?â
ââ¦â¦â¦â¦Sixty-two times.â
ââ¦â¦â¦â¦â
âItâs sixty-two times, I remembered very clearly the times I climaxed.â
Itâs so dangerous!
Cold sweat had been frightened out of me!
Itâs nearly to the point of being hopeless already!
Iâm almost standing at the very doorstep of German orthopedics alreadyâ¦â¦â¦â¦no, wait, Laobà âs a surgeon, so after he broke my leg he wouldnât even need to send me to Germany at all, as he could just fix it for me himselfâ¦â¦â¦â¦and afterwards break it again? Then fix it again? Repeating this onwards continuously, letting me lie on the hospital bed for my entire life?
Itâs sho shcary!
Xin Ran was playing with her tips of her fingers restlessly while observing my expression, like a small child who had done something wrong as she timidly asked: ââ¦â¦â¦.Next time can I still sleep together with you?â
If I was to say no, she probably would start crying thenâ¦â¦â¦..if itâs just sleeping then there shouldnât be any problems at all, but I must first set some regulations on place.
âYou can, but you must put on your pajamas.â
âHow about hugging?â
âIf itâs about arms-level then you can.â
âHow about kissing?â
âIf itâs about forehead or cheeks then you can.â
âUuuâ¦â¦â¦..in western countries, between relatives they would kiss each other using lips, thatâs a form of etiquette.â
âNo, Iâm not a westerner, and you arenât too. Plus a kissing action thatâs mixed in with a personâs emotions werenât considered to be etiquette already.â
âI guarantee that I wonât stretch my tongue inside.â
âNo to that either.â
âHumphâ¦â¦â¦.â
Xin Ran coldly snorted, and displayed that icy cold expression like her usual self, afterwhich turning her head aside.
The edge of her lips once again curled downwards a few degrees.
She became even more unhappy already.
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