If witches were half as good as they thought they were, one of them wouldâve figured out how to bottle a perfect May afternoon so I wouldnât have to wait around for nature to dole them out.
Maybe they didnât bother because they knew it could never beat the real thing.
I was sitting on the fresh grass, feeling the coolness of the ground through my jeans and the sun on my bare arms. The soft breeze carried the lush smell of the mountains over the short gray stone wall that divided the civilized part of the Noctis yard from the wilderness beyond. I could hear the green leaves of the trees rustling. The evergreens were silent, but the way their branches swayed made it look like they were waving to each other. A few birds swooped through the blue sky while, high above them, puffy white clouds lazed their way across it.
Then, into this peaceful scene, a brutal murder intruded.
The dragonfly was hovering about six feet over the yard. Sensing that its life was in danger, it rose by an inch. The cage of Kappaâs fangs snapped closed over nothing but air.
âEww!â I cried. âKappa, no! Donâtâdonât eat it!â
But the pint-sized butcher was too intent on his prey to listen to me. He launched himself from the ground to the short stone wall, then used it as a springboard to take another flying leap toward the dragonfly.
âKappa!â
The small bog-monster landed in front of me. His evil smile revealed the dragonflyâs long bright-blue butt and the two wings that had escaped the Great Munch. He opened and closed his teeth a few more times, until only flecks escaped.
I threw my hands up over my eyes. âThatâs disgusting,â I said to my palms.
âHow is it any more disgusting than what he normally eats?â Conrad asked.
The wolfman was bent over the newly planted vegetable garden, doing whatever it is gardeners have to do to coax food out of the dirt.
âBecause I donât usually have to watch,â I said.
âYou should be praising him,â Conrad said. âHeâs supposed to eat bugs.â
âYou brought him out here to eat snails and caterpillarsâgarden pests.â
Conrad paused to extend his fluffy fist toward Kappa. The bog-monster hopped over and bumped his own tiny fist against it.
âNumber one garden partner,â Conrad said.
Kappa grinned and padded at the dark soil beneath his webbed hands.
âWhat did that dragonfly do to deserve an end like that?â I huffed. âThe poor little thing probably wandered away from the koi pond and got lost!â
âYou call that thing little?â Conrad said as he went back to work.
I hesitated. The dragonfly had looked small compared to the yawning abyss of Kappaâs mouth, but that wasnât saying much.
Conrad added, âIt was damn near the size of a bird.â
That was an exaggeration, but I wasnât going to correct him if, instead, I could use it as part of my Crusade Against Senseless Slaughter In Front Of MeâCASSIFOM.
âExactly!â I said. âWhatâs next on the menu? The sparrows? The robins?â
Kappa tilted his head. The smooth area between his two big black eyes crinkled in confusion.
Conrad stopped what he was doing and looked at me. âMera, he already eats birds.â
A full second passed before I spoke.
âYou meanâ¦â
Conrad nodded.
I motioned to the trees. âLike, the littleâ¦â
The edge of his black lips lifted in a smile.
My head rolled back in disgust. âOh noâoh, geez! Thatâsâ¦ugh! Barf!â I stuck my tongue out in an effort to eject a bunch of imaginary feathers.
Kappa grinned at me, shamelessly, and patted the ground. Conrad indulged in a quiet chuckle before bending back over his work.
He raised his voice so Iâd be sure to hear him: âYou didnât seem to mind the idea of eating birds last night.â
âThat was chicken!â I said.
âChick-chick-chick-chicken,â Kappa chanted as he hopped in a circle.
âLast I checked, chickens are birds,â Conrad said.
âChick-chick,â Kappa muttered.
I hated to even think it, but Conrad had a point. Despite my wailing and retching, the only difference between me and Kappa was that he had enough integrity to catch the food himself. And I ate fewer bugs.
Conrad went on, âYouâre not allowed to give Kappa a hard time about what he eats. Anything he can catch is fair game, and he knows the rules.â
âThere are rules?â I said.
âKappa, what did Igor tell you about what you catch?â
Kappa didnât stop hopping to answer. âCatch it outside, eat it outside!â
The edges of my mouth quirked up in an unwilling smile. âOkay. Yeah. Thatâs a good rule.â
âHeâs a predator,â Conrad said. âEven if he gets enough to eat from Igor, heâs happier when he can hunt.â
This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
I uncrossed my legs, brought my knees up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around them. I rested my chin on my knees while gazing at the wolfman who was using his claws to pick through his garden. His long nose was pointed toward the ground, and his ears swiveled to follow the sounds of the world around him.
âWhatâs that word that means when you put two things side-by-side because they shouldnât make sense together but they kinda do?â I said.
Conrad chuffed. It was the wolfman version of a short, huff-style laugh. âWhat?â
âDarius uses it. Something about contrasting elements.â
âI have no idea. Why?â
âNo reason,â I said with a grin. âWhat about you, wolf-boy? You like steak, right? Have you hunted any wild cows lately?â
Conrad grunted. âCanât get the permit. But I do know how to hunt if I have to.â
I tilted my head. âHow does thatâ¦work?â
âHuh?â
âDo you, like, run them down on two legs, then go for the jugular?â
I could imagine a poor moose, chomping down on some greens, casually glancing over his shoulder to see a fully dressed, two-legged wolf booking it toward him. It was kind of funny, but it was also, in a much more gritty and stark way, absolutely terrifying.
âI usually use a thirty-oh-six,â Conrad said.
âA thirty-ohâ¦? Oh! A rifle! Right, right. A rifle. That makes more sense.â
âWhat about you, zombie-girl?â Conradâs smile expanded until I could see the long curve of his canines. âHave you ever gone hunting?â
Heâd only asked the question to tease me. He might as well have called me âcity-girlâ instead of âzombie-girlââit wouldâve been equally accurate.
That rankled. But he was right. Iâd never been hunting. Iâd never had to pluck a chicken or eat bugs. I had gone hungry beforeâmore than onceâbut thatâs not the same thing as ripping the hide off a deer.
Iâd never thought of that as a weakness before.
I wanted to say something to wipe the smirk off his face, but I had to avoid lying. Conrad tended to call me out whenever I did that.
I mustered some unwarranted confidence. âI think I couldâyou know, if I had to.â I looked up at the trees beyond the stone wall. âHunger is really motivating.â
When I looked back down, Conrad was watching me. He was still smiling, but all the smirkiness was gone.
Crap. He was taking me seriously again. There had to be a way to get him to stop doing that.
I felt a change of subject was in order.
âAnyway,â I said, âIâd rather eat whatever you're growing.â I nodded to the garden. âIâd chop up all the vegetables myself. No mercy.â
Conrad gazed over the neat rows of plants with an air of fondness. âYeah. I hope some of them make it.â
âI thought you said they were looking good.â
Kappa got bored of hopping and wandered over to sit in my lap.
âThey are right now,â Conrad said, âbut this is my first vegetable garden, and theyâve got a lot going against them. Iâm not sure if the soil chemistry is right. Weâve got all kinds of animals out hereârabbits, deer, mice. Then thereâs the cold snap.â
âWhat cold snap?â I asked.
âThisâll be my fifth year down here. Each May, for a day or two, and for no reason I can figure out, the temperature drops below freezing at night.â
âWhat! No! It barely started warming up!â
Conrad shrugged. âItâs only for a night or two.â
âThatâs easy for you to say! Youâve got a fur coat! Iâm going to have to get out that quilt I put away.â
âGet two,â Conrad said. âDarius has already turned off the furnace for the season.â
I groaned and let my head drop.
Never let a vampire set the thermostat. They donât get cold either.
Behind me, I heard one of the French doors that led into the kitchen bang against its frame. They did that if you werenât careful as you closed them. The sound was followed by a quiet âoop!â
I glanced over my shoulder. Kappa stood on my legs so he could look over my shoulder too.
âHey, Mrs. Park,â I called.
Mrs. Park kept house for Big Jacky, but she didnât look like a housekeeper. She dressed like an aged bohemian fashionista on her way to a poetry recital: white hair swept up into an ornate jewel-toned head wrap, oversized hand-made earrings, flowy clothes.
She was wearing her typical style that day, but sheâd been working since early that morning, so it looked like sheâd made a frazzled escape from an eight-hour business meeting that sheâd walking into thinking that it would be a poetry recital.
âEmerra, dear,â she said as she came toward us. âI have a favor to ask you.â
Kappa ran to meet her, but all he did was dance around her legs, then walk-hop beside her. I didnât know whether Kappa had been trained not to jump on certain people, or if he had some internal sense of who he was and wasnât allowed to launch himself at. Either way, Iâd been stuck on the âallowed victimâ list.
âYou arenât done working?â I asked.
âNot yet. Or, rather, I donât want to stop yet. As soon as I get into spring cleaning, I tend to find a flow.â Mrs. Park stopped a few feet away and looked down at me with an expression of profound wisdom. âAnd, you know, you should never interrupt a good flow.â
âBelieve me,â I said, âI get it.â
âI thought you might. I was wondering if youâd be willing to help me with some work. I wouldnât normally ask, but it goes so much faster when I have someone around to help with the lifting.â
I bounced a bit as I blurted out, âYeah! No, totally! Iâd love to help.â
Around the mansion, I had a bad reputation when it came to cleaning. Once upon a time, Iâd tried to explain to Conrad that picking stuff up and cleaning were two totally unrelated skills. I was good at cleaning. Picking up? Not so much. Heâd stared at me for a long time before saying, âThen you arenât good at cleaningââthus proving that you canât teach a stubborn wolfman new tricks.
Mrs. Park, however, was a professional housekeeper. She understood. She hadnât written me off as a hopeless case. My hidden talents had been seen and recognized. Why else would she be asking for my help?
âOh, thank you,â she said with a sigh. âWhat with Olivia gone and Conrad working on the garden, I really didnât have anyone else I could ask!â
My ego deflated like a balloon released without a knot. The farty whistle of escaping pride echoed through my soul.
I heard Conrad chuckle. He had probably smelled my disappointment. Or heard the farty whistle. One of the two.
âKappa,â Conrad called.
Kappa looked at him.
âYouâll stay with me.â
Kappaâs eyes slid over to me. Reflected in the giant black fishbowl of his gaze was a sense of dismay. He loved Conrad as much as he loved me, but Conrad had a bad habit of doing hard work, which was no fun at all.
âSorry, buddy,â I said. âIf weâre doing spring cleaning, itâs probably going to be dusty.â
Big Jacky didnât differentiate between Kappa and any of the other residents of the mansion; the bog monster was allowed to go anywhere he wanted as long as it wasnât a private room. Long before I had arrived, heâd explored the third floor and learned all about the rooms that were shut up most of the year. When heâd found me in one, looking for some thread, heâd let out a loud squawk, bounded inside, and tried to drag me out.
Iâd humored him because of his obvious distress.
When we were outside the room, I did my best to keep a straight face while thanking him for rescuing me.
âBut why are you so upset?â I asked.
âDust!â
âDust?â
He stuck his tongue out as far as it would go. Maximum yuk. The boy would sooner eat a whole bar of chocolate. Dust was bad. âIss sticky!â
I laughed, bent down, and scooped him into my arms. âI donât think itâs the dust thatâs stickyââ
But as I straightened up, he rose into the beam of light coming in from the window at the back of the room. Large patches of his smooth skin, normally glossy with moisture, were coated in a thin, matte muck of wet dust.
I glanced back at the room. Heâd only been in there for a few seconds!
I tried to wipe off one of the patches. The dust scooted along his skin, gathering into a thicker line of muck.
Kappa scowled at me. âIss sticky!â
âOkay, buddy. I get it. Iâll be careful. Letâs go get you cleaned up.â
While he took an indignant bath in my tub (Kappas didnât need baths, Kappas were always clean), I tried to explain to him that dust slid right off me. It was one of my superpowers. He seemed dubious. Of the two of us, I took way more baths than he did.
No matter how much he loved me, the threat of dust would probably be enough to get him to relinquish his claim on my company.
âStick with me,â Conrad said, âand you can eat all the bugs and birds you want.â
Kappaâs grin showed off his fangs, still flecked with dragonfly bits. He scuttled over and planted his butt on the ground next to Conrad while gazing up at the wolfman adoringly.
So much for loyalty.
I stretched as I got to my feet. My butt and legs tingled from sitting on the hard ground for so long.
âAll right, Mrs. Park,â I said. âLetâs go do some spring cleaning.â
Maybe I could do something about that reputation of mine.
Comments(0)
Join the discussion — sign in to leave a comment
Sign In to CommentNo comments yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!