18 Apricity

People of wattpad. This chapter hasn't been edited. You...have been warned.

And also I sprained my ankle and is put on three weeks rest. So be kind and vote for this chapter :)

In early morning, when sun is shy of day and the wind rises by east- I sit by the log of a dead oak in the wake of a sleepless night. 'The snow will melt once the sun is up' I would believe. I would dream. My teeth bites at the chill, and my pale, sickly fingers squeeze the fur cape and any layers one must wear to keep them alive at the hour. My heart is faint against the snickers of Ivyaki. It laughs at my hope as I stare at the horizon.

The Glaze is a dead land. And the people living in its heart- are dead than the death itself.

But not me.

Not me, never me as I thaw with desires. Frost nibbles at my skin. Cheek and lip are the most sensitive. I dip my hand in a gorge of water, a sheet of ice warns me- but I slit past it- at first, the water hesitates, but then it stabs. There is no wound and no blood, but the pain is worse than what a fissure would inflict. My lips parts at the horror and my throat would parch like a drought. Not that I ever knew what drought is like.

The numbness that approaches later isn't a relief. If left, the blood my veins carry will freeze. My lips tremble when I remove my arm, my nails are blue my skin is red with fury. My gasp is weak as I fold my fingers, my eyes dry without tears.

But my hope rages when I look at the Glaze.

And past it, I see my future.

The ferocity that encloses me is atrocious. Refusing to abide by the Ezdans induced slumber I nod my head, waking the impassive state of my body i stirred in his arms. We were out of the brothel's bath into a private passage. Perhaps it's anterior of the building where none bothers to stroll along or some forgotten space, lost with time and life. Something like Ivyaki. Or they merely evacuated at the abrupt anxiety from the attacks. After all, they are not warriors.

A shiver lights through me, not from the water that has me drenched- but from the cold Ezdans stare was.

But mine burns through him.

"You bastard"

The shock of my words is evident in the stiffness of his clutch and the pause of his steps. His face acquires a slight surprise that is absent from his seamless voice.

"Pardon?"

"I know you heard me the first wise, stop the act of a fool and the use of your sheath to ridicule my consciousness" my tongue is filled with turmoil, but my voice- a sleepy pup that's dozing off "Put me down"

His brows shot the lightest, but he does what's commanded. Peels his hand away as the sole of my feet is set by the floor. The tranquillity vanishes immediately and my vision spurs into clearance. My fingers lock against each other as I mapped how tall he stood. The air is picky this dusk as it keeps filling my lungs- causing my breaths to harden- displaying my weakness like a fabric to him. Reminding him that despite my anger, it's fear of him that would win.

That's - a delusion of him.

"It's you" I feel significant under his scrutiny, as if nothing else could be there he would listen more intently to than me. So I speak "It is your arrival in my life after which nothing seems to fare right. You are beginning to understand, aren't you? I hate you Ezdan. I just detest you so much that it's becoming horrible to live with"

He looks at me as if he is drinking me in. The venom that I offend him with- he seems to embrace the hostility of it because for once a pained emotion gathers in his eyes. I have no remorse for it.

"You need to know" I yell my whimper, the lights from the hallway hue by his features lavishly. The distress in his eyes has now morphed into a fresh concern as I wreck in frustration. My weak body withers at his emphasis. "You need to know how long I have chanted for your downfall, if all you remember was feeling my emotions- you should also be made aware that all I ever remember Is resenting you"

One of his hands take my chin faster than my utterance could reach him, his thumb and fingers pressed by my cheek as he forces me to stay still and watch him. I meet his stare with my glare as his other hand weaves through the back of my damp hair. His hold is different than the tale of trouble his eyes bore.

"I would advice you to seal your lips, but I see you have surpassed those boundaries where you would listen to me," he says "I -yet give you a chance, Don't"

I go quiet, not to consider his unpretentious offer. But to seek the right statement to reject it. Then I find them.

"You deserve hell"

It muddled. My thoughts as his chaos vanished. perhaps this was the madness of his he hid so well. Maybe his leather-clad hands would be the sole thing I would take with me while he would choke me to death. But even they go soft, his touch. he caressed the back of my head and ran a sluggish thumb through my lower lip, his gaze dropping at what he did so.

"I know Iris," he says, I must hate my name when he mentions it. I must. I must. I must. I can't "I Think of it a lot. the kind of hell I deserve"

His gaze lifts, I hold my breath.

"Then I found you. I know I deserve you. I know it because you are my hell and mine alone"

His lashes flutter down in the most vulnerable act of his until this day. Then it disappears. So quick as his grasp on me isn't the same. He leaves me, to stand alone on my feet- his smile a smug reminder of the kind of manipulator he is made to be. He is born to be.

A prince by blood. A predator by choice. A strategist by means.

"Why did you give me up?" I ask, if he is a tormentor of truth- I have lived a life of lies. Rehearsed to lie my emotion my chin juts out to play my role. I false my bones in a show of weak, to make him feel his victory over me.

I control my heart to help me guard my honest emotions. To stop it from reaching him.

"Why are you not my mentor?" each question gives rise to my lie that he learns to believe in, his eyes are a glass- mirroring the naked fibs of my words he was eating up. I near him, a step in the count "Why did you tell him everything that is me? If I am your prisoner to mould then why is he between us to discipline what's yours?"

I see his breath differ, deeper than before.

he looks away, his jaw tight "He has power that I don't"

"You are a prince"

"A cursed one"

"Still a royal"

"Just a man who desires to change his fate"

"What power is his that you lack Ezdan?" my voice is barely a whisper, it chases the shadow in his eyes that creates in the wake of my words.

"The power to end what he can't have" he says.

Tension bakes in my face and this wise it's real.

"you think he will kill me?" I ask, deeply interested.

"I know" I should be scared. I should. I am not. I swallow the pain in my chest.

"So you gave him what he yearned for like a puppet to a master?"

His brows pinched in what I deem is contempt. Like he tasted a candy that's sour.

"I gave him an illusion of what he seeks. He reckons that I am expending you to build Antar into a strong kingdom. Something that he abides by" The arch of his confidant brow must cost my ego to lurch, but many pieces of his puzzle lay scattered yet- and he wasn't winning this time.

"What now that he knows what I am? I reckon that he will figure my Helian reality soon if he hasn't already- what's to happen then?" I demand. Sounding abruptly confused to my own ears.

His lips curve into a chuckle, a glow of mirth crept up his skin and he Is suddenly young. A boy who he is supposed to be. A cunningly handsome boy.

"Sure that he would lock us up in a cell and bet on you to kill me so he can have an easy way to the throne" he says.

I could laugh at the sensibility behind it, I chose to ignore him and tell him what I thought of him for once.

"I hate you"

Silence.

"And I hate my nature for failing to feel the same" he nears, descending the distance between us. The click of his boots, an echo in the lifeless chamber and I- a cowardly lamb coiling from him only for my back to meet a wall. His arms come up engaging me, his lips curving as if he is satisfied by my sheer spinelessness.

"What is this?" I ask, sounding timid rather than irked. It entertains him.

"What is what?" he tilts, his hair falling upon his eyes. He is too occupied with me to propel it and that gesture makes me uneasy, but surprisingly not in a bad way.

"Stay away from me"

"Then make it happen" he incites, playing with a lock of my drying hair and then framing them behind my ears "I saw you fight those men, I know you are capable"

Despite my incoherent thoughts a flaring, face is what I manage, by the heat that blooms in my cheeks I know my facade is a waste of time. He feels my thoughts.

"I don't even what to touch you for the sake of inflicting pain"

"But I do"

"You disgust me"

"More than Erix?"

"What?"

His shoulder is suddenly stiff, anybody could read the change in his mind. A shift so stark that could be seen by a blind bat.

"Cease answering my questions with another question" and there was the order from a man who never saw denial in his life. None dared to. but I try.

"How did you know of the attack on us?" I bring the dead thought to life defying him immensely, the curiosity stings by the tip of my tongue when his actions faze to deliver a quick dislike. He doesn't want to tell. of course, he wouldn't. he is born to be a bearer of secrets- he might even keep his breakfast schedule a secret if he could, despite it not being dimes worth.

"That's not my answer" his brows lifted, and mine sinks with worry as the length of our proximity savoured in. I catch a whiff of his scent- it settles in me like a pleasant memory. But also a fragrance of night- deep dangerous night. those aromatic oils he must wear on his cuffs and neck were mythical- I would wear them myself if could i afford them.

Momentarily distracted I flat my palms on his chest, his black velvet suit is padded but it doesn't fail my me into the insight of his raising pulse. it's significant. it's bold. when I push him away he lets me. He allows me to break the enchantment for I couldn't for the life of me be able to move a man of his built.

"It's not what I asked for either" I intend to yell, but my breath catches those words in softer tints. he doesn't reply, I give up on answers when-

"I was following"

It's low, almost ashamed. a vein ticks by his jaw at the confession.

"Stalking" I tease, a lone term escapes my mind and rolls off my tongue. my eyes go wide while at the slippery accusation. His expression dulled, going cold and arrogant like this room. I peer at the door for a second hoping for an aversion from Lord Morana- but he never comes. How could he when the Ezdan had in particular ordered him to not follow us?

But I know he wouldn't listen to a prince. It was as if his entire face was born and constructed to defy a prince. So where was he when I need him? I need a murderer to distract me from a traitor.

"In my version, it is deemed as keeping an eye, it's how I found the Anartarian Anarchists enclosing on you both while you were merry in preparation of a bath with a ghostly white man" my gaze snap to his and I regret my sentiments, but then the other half of his sentencing dawns on me and I am steaming with embarrassment.

His eyes seem to memorize my features like religion before darting up barely at the ceiling. His hands lazily insert by both of his pockets before reprising his scrutiny back at me.

"He is my tutor," I say, my voice all raspy "And I wasn't going to take a bath, I was scheming to refuse it"

"While undoing the buttons to your shirt?" the unimpressed twitch of his lips was calm, almost as if he hadn't killed a couple of men tonight with the drop of his sword.

"This is not what holds importance," I say in my defence.

"It is. Everything with you holds significance in my life" he claims edging slightly closer and I am most certain I heard wrong. The murmur of what that followed "And so in my heart"

***

The falls shimmer with spirit when we return, statues of gold and silvers, being moved across, lanterns that doesn't dry of oils for days lit over, curtains of glossy silk and flowers aligned, servants in pale peach uniforms and brown hats drift in and out of palace grounds - some fly with elevated speed than normal humans at the instruction of a senior officer who wore green. Separating them from the rest. The colour divides people in Antar and the social event tomorrow night in the celebration of Founds success this year would be proof of it.

I had in completion forgotten about it. The invitation I received three days ago- before the incident of Valutare still sat by the table on the side of my bed in the university dorms. The gossip in hallways suggested that the students were curious and under the information of Slate it was confirmed- those invitations were solely received by the Aces.

Which meant I could be seeing dorin in couple of days.

under normal circumstance, I might have planned an escape soiree for us, but as of today- my priorities has changed into a drastic need of finding my strength and meeting Arran. not to trust him- but to hear his side of the story which remained untold.

Untold like the audacity of Ezdan to confuse me with such lunacy. How do i- a nemesis of his garner a place in his heart? if so- he must be very kind to people who he intends to use or kill. Perhaps he kisses their cheeks or sends flowers to them before setting down to write their set of eulogies.

He has a book on the classification of eulogy on his book shelf. For the wonder of god, I can't think of why?

It's easier now, to turn at his isolated hallways - the paths have become familiar. he doesn't hold my hand- he knows I won't run away. Not with my hair undone and coats wet. I feel its dampness in the bandages I wrap around my torso, I shake my head like a puppy to dry my hair.

ezdan flinches and then turn to inspect the cause of the drizzle on him.

He is not impressed when I do it again, this is wise to his face. sadly the beads of weak water barely reach his chest. Let alone does any damage to his luxury. To dunk him in a pool of dead fish is my dream. wish he smelled as bad as my imaginary mire. He opens his mouth to spew something when someone cracks open the door to his chamber from inside. Though the foyer is a nightshade, concealing our identities- Ezdan shifts to eliminate my presence as a whole.

He refuses to vex a muscle of his body, his face dips to look at me for an answer. It comes in a feminine greeting from behind him.

"Where have you been this late?" the moonlight is our friend, too shy this night for us- but bold on the features of Styainne Marmoris. The young daughter of felicity and delight. The most celebrated woman in Antar for her wit and grace. Ezdan still doesn't answer- he stood tall with his back to her. How does he plan to fling me out of the vicinity is my novelty.

I wait.

Having nothing else to do.

But then the Ezdan heaves, his gaze at the empty air, his eyes hardening in displeasure. Meanwhile, he also seems to know something that undoes the knot to this little situation that has arisen. Determined he turns- I suck in a breath.

Not because I have been an enthusiast of a thrilling encounter but because I felt a band at my waist sweep me into the shadows. A force smothered my lips from producing a noise. it feels like fingers, like hands that have me embraced but all i see are shadows rising around me until I am nothing but inside pitch-hollow darkness.

"Move with me" a voice whispers by the valley of my ears. Not just any voice. But the Lords. "Come on now, It's easy. a leg ahead of others then repeat" his breath is hot, unlike his entire him that's huddled against my back as he takes my hand and guides me in the void. His other hand is still clasped by my mouth to ensure my silence. I walk, blindly counseled within the heart of this shadow quite like a kitten. Surprisingly I know what this is, veil of raven- a casting invented by ventims that camoflages the very vicinity of soldiers fighting by the frontline during night.

Dusted in the air in darkness- it borrows the silhouette from the twilight to forge a canopy around the person who had it. In this case- it serves to Lord Erix the user.

Such an incredible form of tool isn't an easy task to make. We the community of Ivyaki could only dream of witnessing such a spectacle let alone be a part of it. But as I ensure my safety from Miss Marmoris of the East, I am reminded of the stillness we stood in.

"Why are we not moving?" I whisper, the black cast flickers like dying flame, providing a flimsy view of the two by the frame of his door. Curling into Morana I turn facing him with a query, in my quest I move a little further as he pulls me into him, his hand dropping to the soft of my back. The white of his hair is grey under the tinge, it makes me wonder if it will glow silver under the fluorescence of the moon.

"I'd like to watch" he states, his eyes on them as they engage in what appears to be a rather docile conversation. In fact its morana is the one who had all his expression of discontent rolled open for me to see and dissect. "They make a very lame couple don't you think?"

I don't say anything. I have lived with a fear of offending the old man even by mere breathing of mine- I know how these highborn change colours of their askings, so a lack of answer from me could be the best for my cause.

unfortunately, I was wrong. here with Morana, my silence stirs a hot stare my way.

"I asked you something," he says, now farther from Ezdan and Styainne Marmoris- his whisper is an octave high.

I nod. Not knowing what else to do, I nod fervently. My hair falls into my face and my voice leaves me bare at the manner in which his blue eyes darkened at the sight of me. His presence is always known, he seldom does an effort to hide his intentions but at this very moment, he looked like he hid a world beneath his blue stare. so intense that the freeze from his hand reaches my skin to my spine, I shiver- arching away from the touch.

His touch.

He takes his hand away and keeps it to his side, he blinks away ,The emotion in them freezing further with time.

"I worry for your health Julian, you haven't been this distant from me as you are now" styainne Insists, I widely expected her to have a gentle voice- sweet to match her features. But she had a nature to it that could bring a stone to life. enchanting, quiet but deadly. Fit for a queen. "Ignoring me won't make you appear nice before the court"

"Pleasing the court is last of my worries" he says.

she takes a step ahead, menacing enough for me, but nothing in them for Ezdan as he stood taller "So you do worry?"

The question is left to hang in air. Her eyes thin to slits as she raises her palm to hold Ezdans face. something wakes in me but the brittle and tensing gaze of Erix on them distracts me.

"You have to ask me for the first dance at the ball," she says. my brows rise to my hairline at the intimate gestures of hers. I think we shouldn't be here, but it almost felt like the night in Keld where we had spied on Morana. Only this wise the man was different -

-and the only thing that seems to be killed is moranas mood.

It sours as styainne brings another one of her hands up lovingly to fix Ezdans hair. He lets her. He is not decapitating her arms but letting himself be prepped with kindne-

"I am not dancing" he grunts, peeling her hand off of him with nothing but pure nothingness. she laughs lightly at him. she looks ethereal in the aqua gown that's wrapped against her brown skin. Thin strands of her ebony hair were braided with beads that decorated it, it frames her face beautifully, shaking and glistening as she shook her head.

"Not I am either, but its a show we must put forward for the sake of our families," she says, not retreating an inch back."You know what happens if my dad knows if this expectation of our alliance is false-

"Your house pledges allegiance to Erix?" Ezdan tips his head with a surprising laugh "And you'll be betrothed to him for the sake of reputation?"

"If that happens so, crown is only one of the many things you lose" she bares her teeth with a sneer, like a restless siren. Her patience thinning with time "Right now we are the only ones in power that favor the king and you"

"Tell me something recent"

"You are insufferable. I detest you"

"No styainne. You don't" Ezdan held her stare in a vice so strong that I'd be scared of sustaining the reason beneath them and yet styainne sparsely reacts with a flinch or frown."You should hate me, for all I can ever bring you is misery," he says already stalking towards the door. before closing the door behind he says-

"My room isn't your playground to sneak into- I won't be such ignorant of your mistakes again"

***

Erix Morana is aware of my secret that the Ezdan had sworn to protect. I want to blame him pettily for the flib, but it is me whose spine gave up the second I traced back my ability from the elements of time- I had plunged to a base of water. It's all I remember before I had yelled at Ezdan for everything that was wrong with my life.

Young and immature might I be, but the tension that housed in Moranas face after the short encounter between Ezdan and Styainne is something I wish would have stayed before he realized that I had vanished from his vicinity. But sooner the departure of Marmoris took place he raised his hand and snapped his fingers. The dark blanket of flames dims and dies at the sound. we stood there watching each other with keen eyes.

"I guess his highness left you to fend for yourself" his smile is no way near cunning, but pleasantly mischievous.

"He had a situation" I defend. for the secrets of the world unknown I defend the Ezdan foolishly. May be I wanted morana to know and be intimidated by the kind of protection and trust I had with Ezdan. Which in reality was none.

"what if I count till tens and he won't return for you?" he mused, his lips quirked. I swivel, walking stray from him in a decline of his strange offers. he-odd man himself. But his footsteps falls beside me soon, his gaze strings towards me every now and then. The corridor lits lighter than before as I hurry on my feet to remain hidden by him.

Impossible was it when I spot my hair toupe and my cloak slung by his arms.

Has he been carrying it all the way here?

I stop. he does too. one of his brows rise.

"Go on. Your passion for resisting me is adorable snowflake" the heat that crept up my cheeks as he wraps me back in my cloak and knots the string down to my chin is unfortunate. But I hold my ground, reminding my heart that he is not our enemy. Any man who wishes ill upon the Ezdanian prince is not my enemy. He will do me no harm.

"You are a Helian aren't you?"

An ache throbs by a nerve of my head, and I frown deeper at the rhetorical statement. My features must be enough without a stimulate for him to write my race off. He flicked his sleeve, his hand cased in a white sheath. His fingers clam on my shoulders as he turns my back to him.

"What are you do-

They reach my hair, fingers gathering them together- tingles spread by my scalp when he braids them into a bun. I could see his reflection in the glass wall, his eyes down in concentration, his work- a perfection like him as he pins my disarrayed hair in place- finally completing his work with my false blonde wig. I turn expecting him to question my entire existence- but all he does is slip a vial into my pocket.

"Use it for your blistering hands and don't be late for tomorrow's class"

My dorm room is empty when I get there, slate and the other boy must be out for their usual night class of swordsmanship. I think of what Erix has said

Left you to fend for yourself.

If only was it as simple to be separated from him. I think of it as I toss and turn in bed the whole time as his emotional unrest kept me awake.

If only I'd get to know what had angered him so passionately tonight.

It's going to be ride from now. :)