Tiny Dark Deeds: Chapter 12

To:

From:

Subject: Wolf

Ares Mallick is one of the smartest people I know. He’s the one I go to when I don’t know something. He’s the one all of us go to. He’s top of our class and probably could have gone to any STEM school in the goddamn country if he’d have chosen to. In fact, had he not been such a modest shit, he might have taken up one of their offers I know he’s gotten in the past. He’s brilliant, beyond it.

And even he couldn’t find you.

You know, your brother used to look for you? When we were kids, he drove himself crazy trying to find his twin. It was his days, his nights, his weekends, and his life, and it went on so long I’m not even sure of when the searches began.

I just know how they ended.

I wished you knew the person Ares was before he realized he couldn’t find you. He was still dark. I mean, how couldn’t he be? He’d lost a piece of himself in never having known you, but he’s always known about you. Your parents, Ramses and Brielle, were very open about those few days in the hospital they got to be with you before you were selfishly taken from them, but no amount of recollection from his parents could ever really let him know you. I mean, even they didn’t.

Like I said, I wish you knew the person Wolf was before. He wasn’t the wolf. He was still Ares, and your brother. He had hope, but I’m afraid he’ll never get that now.

Things are so much worse now.

I found out something today. It’s something about you, and I’m not sure how I’ll be able to tell your brother. It would hurt him so much worse, and I can’t fucking do that to my friend. He’s my brother, and he doesn’t deserve that truth. Your truth. He doesn’t and nor do his parents who are some of the most wonderful people I’ve ever had the pleasure of having in my life. I love them like I love my own goddamn folks.

I just don’t understand.

I’m trying to get it, Noa. I’m trying to be patient, but things are getting deep here, and now, I’m spiraling worse than my best friend. I’ve left a lot of things out in these emails. I’ve left out us and ignored things. I ignored what I told you before you left. I made myself. No matter how bad it cut, I did, but I can’t ignore it now. Please help me understand you and what you’re doing. I mean, a few words from you can keep my world from leveling completely.

Because that’s how much you mean to it.