The Puck Secret: Chapter 37

The drive back to their house is short and familiar, and I can’t help but think about the night I drove them home after their game a couple of months ago. How things have changed. That night he wanted to kiss me and I refused him, even though I wanted to. Well, I guess things haven’t changed that much. That night his friends invited me to his birthday. There was tension then, but tonight is different. This isn’t sexual or playful, it’s silent and savage. Nobody speaks a word until I pull up outside of their house and kill the engine. It’s only when I turn around that I realize Nova is half-asleep on Alexander’s shoulder.

Archer climbs out first, slamming his door purposely behind him and making Nova startle awake fully. He looks a little dazed as he glances around the car, smiling when he sees me which causes my heart to ache. Alexander joins Archer, the two of them trying and failing to help him from the car because he shoves them away, nearly falling to the ground in the process. When he almost stumbles again and still refuses their help, I follow suit, climbing from the car and moving to help him.

I hesitate slightly before putting my arm around his waist, making him startle at the contact. When our eyes collide I feel that connection between us, one forged in anonymous texts and explored in passionate trysts. One I know could change my entire life, if only we could let it. I know he feels it too, I feel it in the weight of his stare, and I half-expect him to shove me away too. I can tell he is thinking about it, about what I’m doing here, why I’m helping him, and I wonder if he has listened to the voicemail I left earlier.

“You didn’t answer the phone,” I whisper, unable to keep the words in any longer, and not caring that both Archer and Alexander are watching us.

“You didn’t tell me the truth,” he snaps back, his words feeling like a knife in my gut, yet he slings his arm across my shoulder at the same time, pulling me closer into his side like he can’t bear for there to be any space between us.

I try to ignore the familiar weight of his body against mine, the husky scent of his cologne, and the warmth of his breath as it fans my cheek while he stares down at me. I feel suffocated for the second time today, but this time it’s welcome. I want to get lost in him, to run away with him, for it to be him and only him, but instead I put one foot in front of the other and start to lead him inside.

Archer comes up on his other side, slowly testing the waters before taking his other arm and helping me move him. Nova is too busy staring at me to even notice, and I ignore the fluttering of the butterflies inside my stomach as Alexander moves ahead of us and unlocks the door. Between the three of us we manage to get him to the sofa in the living room, dropping his huge frame onto it with a few grunts. His two friends immediately abandon us, taking a few steps back as Nova looks up at me.

His gaze is intense, burning into me like he wants to eat me whole. Then it drops down to my outfit, and his fingers pull at the hem of my shirt with a smile. Then just as I expect, it quickly fades when he turns me around and spies the number twenty-two across the back. “I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you in this jersey again,” he grumbles, letting his eyes close a little.

Lowering myself to my knees beside him and ignoring the obvious overhearing from his roommates, I brush my hand through his hair. “I didn’t think you’d want me to wear yours again,” I admit out loud, but not adding that I slept in it for two nights this week, before tossing it on my chair like he would know I was pining for him.

He leans into my touch, turning onto his side and reaching out to pull me closer to him. “My girl should always wear my jersey,” he whispers, and I have to fight back the tears now gathering in my eyes. He’s so open, so vulnerable, and I let him think he could be mine, that I could be his, all the while knowing I ultimately belonged to someone else.

I hurt him, the display in front of me is proof enough of that, and I can’t stop myself from pulling his bloody fist into my hand and entwining our fingers, using my other to keep brushing through his hair. “I thought you said I wasn’t your girl,” is the only thing I can think to say, my voice cracking with emotion as I repeat Archer’s words from earlier.

Nova laughs, like what I just said was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard, as he pulls me in close until he is practically embracing me. “You were mine the moment you knocked on the wrong door, Princess” he starts, burying his face into my hair and inhaling deeply. Goosebumps arise on my neck, my skin reacting to his proximity as I close my eyes and pretend his words are true.

“Why did you have to hurt me?” he adds, and I swear I feel my heart break inside my chest all over again, as his words obliterate me for the second time this week.

Knowing any response would be pointless, I remain silent, keeping his hand clasped in mine, and running my fingers through his hair until his eyes completely close and his breathing evens out. Archer and Alexander eventually disappear from sight, and I’m not sure how long I sit here, silently watching him sleep, but it’s enough to make my ass go numb. Yet still I linger, admiring the way his dark lashes fan the top of his cheeks, and brushing my fingers against the stubble across his jawline.

Nova Darkmore is truly beautiful. I have always known that, even when I thought he was an arrogant, cocky asshole parading around in his manwhore ways. He has always been easy on the eye, but now when I look at him I don’t just see that. I don’t just see the Captain of FU who has a puck bunny reputation, I see everything underneath. His commitment to hockey, his love for his team, the friendships he has cultivated for himself, and the way he always goes after what he wants, no matter what stands in his way.

If he was my impending fate, the one I was intended for, I’m not sure I would have fought my father quite as hard as I did. I’d have still fought of course, the whole notion of arranged marriage is total archaic bullshit to me, but if I knew I was getting a good man, an honest man, maybe things would be different. It’s that thought that finally pulls me away from him, that has me gently dropping his hand, even as he tries to hold onto it in his sleep, and leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, wishing he was conscious enough to hear me, but knowing this is the only way I could truly admit it to his face. “For everything.”

With one last longing look at the future I want, I rise to my feet and leave him behind. I hope to slip out of the house quietly, but as I move towards the front door, I find Archer sitting at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. He’s close enough to hear anything that was said between Nova and I, and from the weight of his stare I know he has a million questions, but he only settles on one. “Was it real?”

I don’t think Nova will have told him what truly happened between us, and I don’t know Archer all that well, but I can tell he loves his best friend and hates to see him like this. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t,” is all I say, which is the truth. I didn’t think twice about coming to his aid when Archer called me a couple of hours ago. I didn’t think about my father or Brad, I just knew Nova needed me and I was there.

That’s what love is right? Whether I want to admit that to myself or not. It’s being there for someone no matter what. It’s easing their pain even if it increases your own, and it’s walking away from them even when your heart is breaking, because you know it’s what is best.

“If I had a choice, there would be no choice, it would be him.” My admission lingers in the silence between us, and whether he knows or not, he nods knowingly, rising to his feet and walking me to the door.

“Will you be okay getting home?” he asks, so like his best friend that it makes me smile, Hallie did say he was a good person, and I nod in response.

“My guard followed me here, I’ll be fine,” I tell him, stepping out into the late night, letting the cold air wrap around me in an attempt to cool the heat left behind by his captain. Before he can say anything else, or worse, ask me to stay until Nova wakes up, I quickly add on, “Goodbye, Archer.”

I’m sure it isn’t lost on him that I said goodbye and not goodnight, I imagine we won’t cross paths much after this, and as I spin on my heels and head back to my car, I pretend that the person I have come to care about most isn’t inside the house behind me as I walk away.

I barely remember getting home and falling asleep, Nova’s lingering touch and warm breath as he called me his girl assaulting my every thought, and when Hallie bursts into my room the next morning like she is doing an FBI raid, I burrow deeper into my covers as I curse her out.

“Knocking is a societal norm, Hals,” I tell her, my voice muffled through my duvet, but it’s not enough to deter her.

“So is showering,” she says, wrinkling her nose in disgust as she whips off my covers. “You smell like a brewery.”

Scoffing at her assessment, I rip my covers back from her hand as I snap, “Yeah, well I had an interesting night.”

Not deterred by my apparent smell, she jumps up to sit on my bed with a knowing smirk on her face. “Well, you’re about to have an even more interesting morning.” She tosses a newspaper into my lap, and I glance down in confusion, noting it’s actually two; one from FU, and one from the local news company. Both with similar headlines.

I read them once, twice, three times. No, that can’t be right, but as my eyes read them for a fourth time, I feel a beacon of hope flutter inside my chest. Hope is a dangerous thing, it can make people think things they never thought possible, want things they didn’t think they could have, and need things to be so true that they’d rather die than have them not be.

The article is about my fiancé, and it isn’t just about him, it’s tearing him apart piece by piece, explaining his exploits for the game he apparently loves. My eyes can’t stop scanning, word after word, that hope inside me growing with every one as they detail every aspect of his scandal from an inside source.

Has my father seen this? He can’t have known about this, he wouldn’t have made the deal with Brad’s father if he did, because if it’s one thing the Mayor of Fairfield hates, it’s bad press, and my intended just got the worst bit I can imagine.

Could this be the thing that finally sets me free?