𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 36.

"𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐙𝐈𝐄," 𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐇 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃 her head, and grinned.

Wheezie trotted into the kitchen wearing polka-dotted pyjamas, her glasses half-falling off of the side of her face, and her mouth wide open in a yawn. I, was sitting at the kitchen island, my head perched up on the palm of my hand while the sun cascaded through the open windows behind me. Wheezie stopped in her tracks when she fully opened her eyelids, straining them to see me sitting there in front of her.

"Did you sleep over last night?" Wheezie questioned, surprisingly sounding casual about it. She was looking at me.

"Yeah," I softly smiled, trying not to be awkward.

Sarah flipped the omelette onto it's side.

"You see dad last night," Wheezie asked her sister, while she stepped past me and climbed into the next barstool seat.

Sarah didn't glance back, "Yeah, but he was acting really weird," she answered with a confused voice. Her left arm shuffled to cook the omelette.

"I saw him sitting in the office at like one in the morning, talking with mom," Wheezie said with a casual voice, her bottom lip popping out. She folded her arms together and placed them on the kitchen island in front of us, leaning forward.

"What were you doing at one a.m. Sneezie," Sarah giggled harmlessly, using a nickname—which only earned her a dramatic eye roll, as she picked up the pan and slid the eggs onto a clean white plate.

"None of your business," Wheezie squinted her eyes.

Sarah let out a laugh as she turned her body, lunging to slide the plate of food in front of me.

"Thanks," I said with a quiet voice, my lips forcing into a tiny smile.

I couldn't get last night out of my head. The regret and guilt of telling Jj my biggest secret, was keeping a weight on my shoulders, and I had assumed it would be better by the morning, but it was not. He was only one person, one teenager, one boy that knew my secret. But yet, I was feeling like it was the end of the world. If my parents were to ever find out— found out that I told one harmless boy, my life would completely, and absolutely, be over. It sent a chill down my spine just thinking about what they would do. The day didn't just end there.

First, Jj had somehow figured out my lie, and I had accidentally let it go, which undeniably caused a whirl of future events to brew up, and the outcome I was afraid of— was already bound to happen. We were tied up together in an elastic of lies, sealed with a useless promise, that I knew he wasn't going to keep. It was only a matter of time before I was going to have to tell the rest of the Pogues.

Then, I arrive at the Cameron house, take a tour, only to later witness Ward Cameron walk out of the room uneasily, and in the middle of a conversation after the mention of my grandparents. The way he had choked on his words when hearing "Collins", had sent my mind into a whirl of curiosity, immediately making me think of when Daryl had let my mom's name slip, when we had been arguing. "All the shit he did to Cecile" kept playing in my head on the way to Sarah's room. They were hiding something from me, my grandparents, but I just couldn't figure out exactly what it was. It made my stomach turn.

Then after, Sarah had opened up about Topper. Even though it wasn't exactly my issue, Sarah— as she said it— was my new best friend, and whatever took a toll on her, was bound to take a toll on me, as well. I had almost forgotten about Ward when she started to cry, but as I hugged her and held her close, my mind was still wandering. Though, I was about to explode with confusion, I had held my tongue. The only good outcome of the night was when she had asked me to sleep over.

I had never been to a sleepover before, except for at John B's house. I had never had a "girls night" in my life. And I thought that, that kind of stuff only happened in the movies. But when Sarah had actually brought her box of nail polish down into her movie room, and made us buckets of popcorn, settled us onto the sofas with ten different blankets, my heart had almost exploded with joy. I tried not to act uneasy.

The movie we watched, "A Night In Paris", was Danny and Cecile Collins' most famous movie— as Sarah explained, when I mentioned that I had never seen it before. Apparently, it was the movie that gained my parents their stardom, back in 1997. The revolutionary start of their romance-film escapade in the world of Hollywood. After the movie exploded with popularity, my parents were casted, together, for practically every romantic or drama film after that, which undeniably gained them their title of "legends". I didn't understand.

The whole time that the movie was playing, I couldn't sit right in my seat. Although it was an unexpectedly eye-opening experience for me, it was like when you listen to your voice in a video recording as a kid— your stomach turns and you can't stop cringing. The movie would have been absolutely amazing, if it were simply different actors. When Sarah had dropped the movie cover in front of me, back when we were in her bedroom, and I had looked down to see my parents, I felt like I was going to be sick.

My whole life, my parents had never let me watch a movie of theirs. I wasn't even allowed to watch them on TV for award shows or those movie ceremonies. But finally, after sixteen years, I got to see one of their films. When the movie had started playing, a small part of me felt guilty, but the other part of me was more curious than ever. When their faces came up on the screen, I felt a smile trickle up to my lips, finally seeing their faces after a long time of being apart.

I didn't quite know how to feel while watching. What Sarah saw, was her two favourite movie stars, acting in her favourite movie, playing her favourite characters. What I saw, was both of my parents, pretending to be other people. When they kissed at the end of the film— which was by far, the worst thing I think, I've ever had to witness— Sarah saw her favourite scene, even ranted to me afterwards about how she wanted love like that. What I saw, was both of my own parents making out in front of the Eiffel Tower. It took everything in me to refrain from gagging.

But despite all the cringe I couldn't stop myself from feeling, I didn't mind watching one of my parents' films. For some reason, it made me feel happy. After a while, I began to figure that was because, since my parents have never really interacted with me in their personal life, seeing them— just as slightly different people, made me feel, sort of connected, in a way. Seeing their love onscreen, and the way they portrayed qualities of themselves through the characters, gave me a different perspective on them in real life. It was hard to explain.

When Sarah had first mentioned the name of the movie, and when I saw my parents on the DVD cover, I didn't want to watch it. My first thought, was to ask Sarah if we could watch something else. But she was fixed on the idea. Also, she was already upset, and through her soaked cheeks from crying, when she picked the movie, there was a smile on her face and I didn't want to take that away. I had told myself that I was going to sit through the film of my parents, maybe just pretend to watch, just to make her happy. Her eyes were twinkling the whole time it played.

At one point, Sarah even mentioned that I coincidentally looked a lot like Florence— my mother's character in the movie. She said we almost had the exact same eyes and cheek bones, which made her laugh, and I played along with it and jokingly denied. She also found it quite hilarious that me and the actors even had the same last name. I laughed with her, pretending to be surprised by how crazy real the coincidences were getting, but denied it with an "I wish I was related to them".

When it came to an end, and the credits had rolled in, I thought about telling Sarah the truth. For only a second, I contemplated on telling her that Danny and Cecile were my real parents. For some reason, I figure she would believe me if I did tell her, but I held my tongue. One person to know was already far more than enough, and it was a wary situation— maybe, Jj was telling the Pogues right about then, behind my back. Sarah didn't need to know just yet. No one, for that matter, needed to know just yet. Not even John B.

The as I lay in bed next to Sarah, after talking for another hour straight and almost laughing too loud, she fell asleep. I, couldn't close my eyes. I was too busy thinking about what Daryl had said about my mom, our argument, Jj's arrest, dishing out my secret to him, Ward's sudden change of mood in the office, Sarah and Topper, my parents' movie, and John B. I already knew it was going to hurt to lie to him.

"What'd he say when you talked to dad," Wheezie asked, watching Sarah carefully.

Sarah cracked an egg, letting it fall into the sizzling pan, "He said he was too busy to talk," she shrugged, with a tone of voice that indicated she didn't believe it.

I hadn't seen Ward since he walked out of the office. He didn't come and check up on us in the movie room, nor was he even in the house when we woke up.

As both sisters talked, I shoved my fork into the omelette and took a bite.

___

Sarah had driven me home late in the afternoon.

When I walked in the house, Caroline and Daryl were in their usual spots on the futon, looking up to me as I trudged in. With a simple smile, we greeted one another, Caroline hugged me, an Daryl lightly waved. The anger from our argument was slowly going away, but I wasn't complete sure. I immediately told them I was going to hang out with the Pogues. Daryl had stood up, about to protest again, but Caroline stopped him with a what-did-we-talk-about look. I went to change.

While I had been picking a new outfit, Daryl was angrily mumbling to his wife in the living room. He had been going on about the fact that she had let me go to the Cameron's house again, after "what happened last night", and I had assumed he meant, after what he accidentally said about my mom. Either way, I had packed a bag, tried not to think about it, and said goodbye. I had driven my bike all the way to the Chateau, my mind occupied.

"Are you sure they don't know anything." I lowered my eyes at Jj.

We were now standing in front of one another, in the middle of John B's room, while the rest of the Pogues were sitting on the porch. I pulled him into the room upon placing my backpack inside, the moment I saw him.

"Yes, Charlie," Jj lightly rolled his eyes.

"And they don't suspect anything?" I asked seriously, for clarification.

"No." he said, firmly.

"Good. We need to keep it that way," I huffed out a stressful breath, crossing my arms over my chest. I bit down onto my lip, looking to the side.

"Look— how long are you gonna keep this shit from everyone," Jj lowered his voice, speaking sternly.

My leg bobbed with nervousness, "Until I find a way to tell them," I answered, calmly.

"You're gonna have to tell them eventually," he warned.

"I know that," I looked up at Jj uncertainly, "Just— maybe not right now, okay?"

"Charlie, you can't keep that kind of thing from John B—"

"I know, Jj," I cut him off, "It's just that, like I said, nobody in the world fucking knows," my eyes were sad, drooping slightly, "hell— I don't even know what could happen if people find out!"

Jj sat down on the edge of John B's bed, his hand covering over his mouth.

"Do you know what John B— what Kie and Pope will think if you tell them I've been lying this whole time?" I looked at him.

"Well, fuck, I don't know," Jj rambled with anxiousness.

My eyes rolled. "You're great at giving advice, Jj."

"Jesus, Charlie, I- I don't know what to say!" He whisper-shouted, "I feel extremely pressured in this moment," he rubbed his forehead out of stress, "it's not everyday that you find out one of your friends has famous parents—"

"Just please," I spat, my eyes closed in a hard blink, "Please, stop saying the p-word."

He looked up at me with squinted eyes, "...The p-word?"

"Parents!" I spat, "Stop mentioning parents and we'll be fine!"

Jj looked off, as if searching for something to protest with. "What if someone asks."

"What do you mean, if someone asks," I narrowed my eyes at him stupidly.

"What if," he used his hands for motions, "someone happens to ask about your parents, Charlie." He shrugged.

"Why would they ask about my parents?" I squinted.

"God, I don't know!" Jj threw his hands up in the air.

"We have bigger things to worry about, no one is gonna have time to ask about my parents," I told him, "Okay? So promise me you won't tell anyone."

"I'm not good with promises," Jj shook his head violently from side to side. "And that is a big promise."

"Let's go, Jj," I said to him with a stern tone, side-eyeing him. "Everyone is waiting," my voice was low as I pulled on the doorknob, ripping the door open.

When I stepped out of the room, I could hear Pope talking on the porch. With a long and hard blink, I shoved my hair behind my ears, and breathed out calmly, walking out the back door. Kie, Pope, and John B looked up to me casually walking towards them. John B's face lit up with a smile when he saw me.

"Okay so—" Pope continued with what he was saying before, not minding my presence, "We're gonna use this rope, and then wrapped around one of the pipes on the ceiling,"

"Hey," John B grabbed my hand, a cheeky smile on his lips. He pulled me to sit with him. Pope continued to talk about the plan, Kiara pretending to listen on the couch across from us.

A smile rose to my face, as I lowered my body to sit on his lap, his hand guiding me. His other arm snaked around my waist to hold me close, sending a swirl of small butterflies in my stomach, his thumb light grazing the bare skin between my jean shorts and shirt. The sun was beginning to set in the distance over the marsh.

Jj walked out the back door, his teeth biting down onto his bottom lip— which was still busted— out of stress.

"Is something wrong?" John B asked me with a soft voice, eyebrows only slightly narrowed. I didn't know how he could notice my distress already.

"No," I assured him with a believable smile, letting my fingertips play in the ends of his hair, "everything's fine," I lied, speaking quietly and with a happy tone.

I leaned forward and attached my lips with his for only a second, pulling away with a smile. He grinned, as I turned my head to Pope, now listening. John B placed a kiss on my jaw, and used his other hand to tangle his fingers with mine, while the soft wind breezed past all of us.

Jj sent me a glance, referring to my lie. I glared back at him, ignoring my stomach that was tying in knots.

"And so then we painted our nails, you know, girl stuff," I let out a laugh, "then we watched a movie."

"Seems like you had fun," John B mused happily.

We had already gone over the plan about an hour earlier, and we were about to be leaving. Pope specifically ordered that the sun should be completely down when we arrive. I didn't want to go back to that shit place, or in that musty basement with all the dolls, but I held myself back from saying anything.

Now, as the sun fully hid itself underneath the horizon, John B and I were lying in his bed, on top of the covers. I had my head on his chest, his arm wrapped around my shoulders, and our legs intertwined. When the plan had been fully discussed, and everyone agreed, John B pulled me into his bedroom, saying he wanted me to tell him about my day.

"I did have fun," I smiled widely, the side of my cheek creasing against his shirt.

"That's good," He lightly laughed, sounding genuinely happy for me.

We could hear Kie and Jj bickering in the living room. As the room became silent, comfortably silent, I bit down onto my bottom lip and thought. I suddenly sat up, but slowly.

"John B," I said quietly, "I— uh, I have to tell you something." My back was facing him.

I felt the bed rise beneath us, as he pushed himself up to sit up next to me, "Yeah, what's up," he placed a soft hand on my back.

"I, um," I felt as though the words wouldn't come out, my throat swallowing uncomfortably.

"You can talk to me, Charlie," he trailed his hand in small circles on my back.

I didn't want to lie to him, it didn't feel right. But, just as I was about to let the truth slip from my mouth, his bedroom door pushed open, as if answering my silent prayers.

"Come on guys," Pope called for us, a surprisingly enthusiastic tone to his voice, "We're leaving now."

"Okay," I smiled at Pope, before he left the room, leaving the door open. I swung my legs over the bed and placed my feet on the ground.

John B stopped me with his hand on my wrist, "What is it," he asked, referring to how I didn't finish.

"Nothing— it's not a big deal," I shrugged it off, pretending to be careless as he stood up in front of me. "Come on, let's go get the gold," I laughed, shaking his hands with excitement.

He leaned down, kissing me gently for only a moment. Despite the butterflies in my stomach, I pulled away with an excited grin, grabbed his hand, skipped towards the door, and dragged him out of the room with anticipation.

✰༄✰

𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 🥺✋🏻

𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐛 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨 𝐢 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 🥺

— and thank you SO MUCH for

over 100k reads and over 5k votes.

kinda insane and kinda crying

𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐎: even though updates are

a bit slower, i am NOT loosing

motivation. i'm just really taking

time to figure out the best way

to continue my plot, because i

really want to be proud of this book

in the end, and i want to make it

worth reading! i've never gotten

this far with writing a whole book

before.

and of course, i'm also taking

time for myself here and there,

because as i mentioned a few

chapters ago, mental health is

important, and you never know

what others are going through :)

to carry on,

𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐒𝐒𝐒 🥰

𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 !!