33 - confessions

Amina

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"Well, well, look who decided to finally grace us with her presence." Isaiah comments as I walk in with Caleb to the living room of their home, bringing pizzas from the local shop after my shift at the diner.

"Oh shut up I spoke to you the other day." I say to him with a laugh.

When the news came out about Dominic and the photos of me and him were posted, I got an earful of opinions from my cousins. Caleb was disappointed that I was close with Dominic again while Isaiah was just surprised to find out who he really was.

"How was everyone's Valentine's Day?" I ask taking a seat on the couch.

"Uneventful. I played 2k." Noah says grumpily as he puts down his game controller to grab a slice of pizza. "How was your Valentine's Day? I'm sure you spent it with Mr. Moneybags?" He asks raising his brows.

"Yeah, how are you and Mr. Moneybags doing?" Isaiah asks grabbing two slices for himself.

"Stop calling him that." I respond in annoyance. "And for your information, I spent most of my Valentine's Day working and watching movies with Kendra."

"Oh hush you definitely went to see him afterward." Isaiah says with a chuckle.

"Shut up. What did you do Isaiah? Make out with your pillows again?" I taunt.

"That was once! I was practicing." He says in defense making us all laugh. "If you must know I was on a date." He says proudly.

I frown, recalling my conversation with Kendra. "With who? Since when do you go on dates? And on Valentine's Day?"

He chuckles, "Clarissa, remember the girl I told you about? And why do you sound so offended? Like I just slapped your grandmother."

"I'm not offended. I'm surprised. She let you take her out?" I ask in surprise.

He frowns at my tone, "Yes, I'm not a repulsive beast?"

"Sometimes you are." Caleb says as he stuffs his face with a 3rd slice of pizza. "You're not eating Ami?"

I shake my head, "Not hungry." I turn back to Isaiah, "How did it go? Are you guys dating? Is it serious? Sounds pretty serious if you're taking her out on Valentine's Day!" I question, needing to get to the bottom of this for Kendra's sake.

His eyes widen in surprise, "Ami, relax. It was just a date, I'm not getting married."

"You didn't answer any of my questions. Are you serious about her?" I repeat.

He shrugs, "I don't know yet. I thought I was, but the date was underwhelming I guess." I smile lightly, making him frown. "Why are you smiling?"

I bite back my smile, "I'm not. I'm just thinking." I turn to Caleb, "What did you do mystery man?"

"Shooting hoops with Oliver and some of the team."

"Why wasn't I invited?" Noah asks with a pout.

"You were, you just wouldn't get off the game." He replies nonchalantly. He looks up, "And at practice, I learned something interesting Ami."

"What's that?" I ask looking up at him.

"Aaron works at Acme? When were you going to tell us?" He asks, making Isaiah's eyes widen as well.

My eyes widen, "Um, how did you find that out?"

"One of my teammates told me. Why didn't you tell us?"

"How come every time I see you guys, it's always Ami is in trouble, let's interrogate Ami, or something negative. Why don't we ever just hang out and vibe?" I ask trying to lighten the mood.

"Ami." Isaiah warns, making me sigh.

"What would telling you two do besides worry you?"

"We could figure something out? Drive you to and from work? Has he talked to you?" Caleb says.

"Yes." I reply, gaining a groan from both of them. "But we work in different departments, and security is always around." I sigh, "Can't you guys just trust me to handle it?"

"Frankly no." Caleb scoffs.

I scrunch my brows in frustration, "Well you're just going to have to. I'm not a child who needs you two, or Dominic to fight my battles."

"Yeah and look how well that's gone for you." He chuckles sarcastically, "Maybe you do need people fighting your battles. Or maybe if you had better taste in men you wouldn't have these problems that we keep needing to solve." Caleb says making me gasp.

"Guys!" Isaiah interjects. "Can we please calm down? And Caleb apologized that was a low blow."

I shake my head, "No. It's fine, he's right. You are so right Caleb, as you always are. So how about I just go, and don't come back? That way you don't have to worry about my problems anymore!"

"Ami I-" Caleb starts, clearly regretting his words.

I shake my head before interrupting him. "No, Caleb I heard you loud and clear." I said packing up my things, "Isaiah, Noah, I'll see you guys later."

"Ami don't go, he didn't mean it." Noah says sadly.

"He definitely did! He's been upset with me since school started. Every decision I've made in his eyes has been a bad one and he's tired of cleaning up my messes, so now he won't have to." I say before picking up my bag and walking toward the front door. I could hear the footsteps behind me but didn't bother to look at who it was as the door shuts behind me.

"Let me at least drop you at home." Isaiah says softly from the steps of the front door.

I sigh before nodding softly, allowing him to lead me to the car. I get in with him as he starts the engine, but he doesn't start driving.

"Caleb loves you very much."

I scoff, "I'm not hearing this. Why isn't the car moving?"

"He's just too overprotective, you know how he is." I attempt to open the door but Isaiah quickly locks it, making me shoot him a glare. "Child lock. Now sit and listen to me." I let out a frustrated huff before sitting back in the front seat with my arms crossed. "Caleb said something insensitive, he knows that you know that, we all know that. But it comes from a frustration we have of not being able to protect you 24/7." He sighs, "The second you came to this campus it automatically became our duty to protect you. And you not letting us help you just makes it hard."

"Why is it that I need protecting? I'm always the one who needs protecting. Ever since we were kids I couldn't do anything with you guys around. I don't want to be a liability for you. Live your own lives." I urge tiredly.

He chuckles, "You're not a liability. We fight so much to protect you because we love you. That is why we want to protect you." Suddenly a knock on the window startles me, and I turn to see Caleb standing outside the door. I sigh as Isaiah unlocks the door, allowing Caleb to climb into the backseat. "I'll let you two talk."

Caleb shakes his head, "Nah stay." He looks over at me apologetically, "Ami, I'm sorry. What I said was fucked up."

I shrug, "It's the truth though isn't it?"

He sighs, "Yes and no." He begins, making me raise my brow. "This is my third year at this university, and this is only your first. I keep looking down on you for things forgetting how much of a mess I was my first year." I stare at him, confused at what he's talking about. He continues, "I'm overprotective by nature, I've always been overprotective of both you and Tyla, hell even Isaiah sometimes. So when you came to the university, I just started remembering all the mistakes I've made and wanted to prevent you from doing the same."

"What mistakes did you make?" I ask gently.

"That'll be a story for another day." He says with a soft chuckle, "My point is, there are some lessons I just can't protect you from that you have to learn on your own. I'm sorry for being so overbearing and judgmental. I want you to feel like you can come to me, well us, with problems. We're not your parents and I'm sorry for making you feel that way."

I smile softly at him, "I forgive you. I guess it's not your fault for wanting to protect me. I agree my situations have been a little more drastic than the typical college student drama."

"Definitely." Isaiah says with a laugh.

"Why don't we go back inside and start the day over? I know you want a slice of pizza." Caleb says with a smile.

I chuckle, "Okay maybe a little."

"Let's go!" Isaiah cheers.

-

I spent the majority of the day with the guys after squashing our fight. It felt better to let everything out into the open and finally come to an understanding of our relationship.

Caleb was right, it had gotten to the point where I saw them as my parents that I needed to hide things from out of fear of getting in trouble. Our dynamic wasn't healthy and I'm happy we finally recognized it, and now we are working to reconstruct it.

I walked up the steps to my apartment, feeling rather tired after the long day. I had a shift at the diner early this morning and after getting off and going home to refresh, I was picked up by Caleb.

"You look exhausted." Dominic says from his spot in front of the door of his apartment when I get to the top of the steps.

"Thank you for that." I respond sarcastically.

He chuckles, "I didn't mean it like that. Sit down." He urges, motioning to the seat beside him.

"I thought you stopped?" I ask motioning to the blunt in his hands as I take a seat beside him.

He shakes his head, "I just do it once in a while." He takes the freshly sealed blunt and hands it to me. "You want?"

I shake my head, "All I want is to sleep."

"Don't let me hold you then. Go get some rest." He says lighting the blunt.

"You tell me to sit down and now you're telling me to leave? So you hate my guts?" I accuse jokingly.

"Very funny." He chuckles sarcastically as he takes a hit of the blunt in his hands. I watch as he lets out a cloud of smoke before continuing to talk. "I just mean if you're tired you should go sleep, don't let me keep you up."

I shrug, "I don't even know if I can sleep right now. A lot on my mind."

"Tell me what's happening." He says dragging the blunt from his lips.

I sigh, "I got into a fight with Caleb. He said something mean to me and we went at it."

He narrows his eyes at me, "C'mon, I need more details than that." He says with a chuckle. "What was the fight about?"

I chuckle, "Okay fine. He found out that Aaron got a job at Acme. A teammate told him and he was mad that I didn't tell him. He yelled at me a bit and then I said they need to stop trying to fix my problems. And Caleb proceeded to say that my terrible taste in men is the reason there are problems in the first place."

"I mean he's not wrong, you're into me of all people." He says with a chuckle making me frown at him. He shakes his head, "I'm joking. Do you think there's any truth to what he said?"

I roll my eyes at his unfunny joke before looking out in front of me. I shrug, "I guess he's not all wrong, especially if you consider Aaron. Sometimes I just think about what if I listened to my cousins and never got involved with him. How different would things be?"

"There's no point in questioning what if. That's not your reality and you can't do anything about it. You'll just drive yourself mad thinking of possibilities. Trust me." He says softly.

"It sounds like you have experience?"

He shrugs, "Sometimes I think like that. But I have to remind myself that it's pointless."

"What are your what ifs?" I ask gently, not wanting to pry too much.

"Everything, from the small stuff to the major things. What if I had a bagel instead of a donut this morning? What if I never met Andre? What if my mom never met my dad?" He lists off.

"Where did you meet Andre?" I ask curiously.

"We grew up together, his grandmother was our housekeeper." He replies. "We would get into the craziest situations together. He made my childhood more bearable." He recalls with a chuckle.

I smile, "Maybe instead of avoiding the concept of what if, we need to accept the reality of our choices and see the bright sides of them." I reply as Dominic raises a brow. "For instance, if your mom never met your dad, you wouldn't be you."

He scoffs, "That would be a good thing."

I hit him gently making him chuckle. "I'm serious, we have to see the brighter side."

"Okay so if you never broke my speaker, we might not be sitting here together now." He says with a smirk.

I look over at him, giving him a gentle smile. "Exactly."

He chuckles, looking ahead of him as he takes another pass of his blunt. "But do you think about what if you never got involved with me in the first place? Maybe it would've saved you some heartache and drama." He says letting out a breath of smoke.

I frown at him, "What happened to think of the brighter side?" I reply, resting against the chair. "But I don't think that way when it comes to you, because I'm happy you're in my life. The positives outweigh the negatives." I admit.

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" I ask with a raised brow.

"I've done nothing but be an asshole and mess with your head." He admits.

"You're someone who cares about me. Someone who makes me feel special. Someone who cares about the little things." I admit, "I agree, you did mess with my head a bit in the beginning. But I think we have a good relationship now, and I appreciate you."

He chuckles softly, "I appreciate you putting up with me. I think you're amazing, I hope you know that."

I smile, "I could stand to hear it more often."

"Noted." He smiles back at me before looking away and sighing. "I have to be honest though. Although I'm happy having you in my life, I don't know if this is working out for me." He admits suddenly.

My brows furrow, "What do you mean?"

He motions between us, "This."

My eyes widen as I feel my heart sink. "Oh." That is all I can muster out.

His eyes widen as he realizes the situation, quickly shakes his head. "No, I meant our friendship." He clarifies making me sigh in relief. "I really like you, Amina." He admits making my eyes widen in surprise again, "I know we talked about taking it slow but I don't like just being your friend."

"Oh?"

"And after Valentine's Day, I just can't get you out of my head."

I smile sadly, "I really like you too Dominic." I say before looking down, "But I have to admit I'm scared to go down this road with you again." He nods in understanding as I continue, letting my true emotions out. "I guess I've been downplaying my feelings on the situation. Thanksgiving hurt and I don't want to go through that again." I admit softly.

He sighs, looking down as well. "I'm sorry." He says gently. "It was never my intention to hurt you. I was scared of what I was feeling and I panicked." He admits. "This time is different though." He says looking up at me. "I want to be with you." I look up at him in surprise as he takes one of my hands. "I don't deserve it, but give me a second chance to do this the right way. We'll take it as slow as you'd like."

I sighed, looking up at him as his pleading eyes stared back at me. Do I do it? Was I ready to give him another chance? Could I trust him to be all in it this time? I wasn't sure, the real question was am I willing to take the risk?

I nod gently as he smiles, reaching his hand out for me to take. "Let's go inside." He offers as he stands up from his seat.

I take his hand as he leads me inside the apartment. As the door shuts behind me, suddenly his arm wraps around my waist pulling me closer to him. His lips captivate mine as he takes me for a kiss. Through the kiss I could feel his longing and desire for me as he held me securely against him.

Suddenly he pulled away, leaving me longing for more as I stared at him wide eyed. "If my words weren't enough, I hope that kiss told you how I feel about you." He says before picking up the remote on his coffee table. "Let's watch a movie." He suggests, once again leaving me confused.

But regardless I oblige, taking a seat beside him on the couch where we spent a majority of the night.

———

Is Caleb too hard on Ami?

Should she trust Dominic with her heart?

Sorry guys I've been away. With vacation, graduation, and moving back home there has just been too much going on. But I'll continue updating regularly soon!

- AuggiePooh_