: Chapter 24

My finger hovers over the New Tab button on my laptop. “Don’t do it, Cammie. Do not open your fic. You do not have time to mess around.” I roll my eyes at myself. I should not need a pep talk to finish this freaking creative writing submission. I slump forward and rest my forehead on my desk. “What is wrong with me?”

If I finish this, I have to hand it in. Which is the whole freaking point of writing it. I decide to call my sister, because if anyone can give me a Come to Jesus talk, it’s her.

Her face appears on my screen almost immediately. She’s in the middle of one of her special masks meant to cleanse her pores. Essie takes skincare very seriously.

“Hey, sorry to video call without warning.”

“It’s no problem.” Her smile turns into a frown. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

She purses her lips. “Don’t lie. It’s bad for your health.”

I sigh. “I don’t know. I think I’m having an existential crisis.” I don’t even know what that means, but it feels accurate.

“How about you break that down for me.”

I word vomit all my woes, including dragging my ass on the story that’s due soon and also the nonsense at the hockey game, and how I’m pretty sure I’m falling for Chase.

Essie claps, her grin so wide it cracks the mask and a few chunks fall off around her smile line. “This is so exciting!”

“I’m over here feeling like I don’t have control over anything and you’re acting like I’ve just been crowned prom queen.”

“You would never have accepted the title of prom queen,” Essie points out.

“That’s accurate.” I wore a completely black, floor-length, lacy, somewhat gothic-inspired dress to prom. It was a real statement piece. I went with my LotR friends as a group. None of us brought dates.

“Okay, I’m going to give it to you straight, no sugarcoating, unless you’re feeling too much like a marshmallow, then I’ll sugarcoat.”

“I can handle straight.” I don’t really have time for sugarcoating.

“You’re scared.”

I frown.

“If you finish the submission, you’ll have to hand it in. It’s your ticket to the creative writing class, but if it doesn’t pass their test, you don’t get into that course and it’s a huge dream for you, so you’ve spent the past few months writing something else because you’re getting the feedback you want.”

“Please tell me you’re not reading my fanfic.”

“I can’t do that because that would be me lying, and I don’t lie to you.” Essie smiles softly. More chunks of mask fall off. “It’s amazing by the way. Super well written and very, very hot. And I don’t want to know what you’ve been reading-slash-watching-slash-doing to write such spicy flutter-inducing stuff, but it’s awesome. And I can totally understand why you keep posting, because people love it, and you get this wonderful instant feedback.”

“Most of the time that’s true.”

“But this other project will be judged by professors, and that’s scary.”

I blow out a breath and feel like a deflated balloon. “You’re right.”

“And it’s not much different with Chase. He’s the popular jock and you’re the adorable elf-loving, quiet girl who doesn’t try to fit in with the cool crowd.” She makes air quotes around the words. “Here’s the thing, though, Cam, it takes real guts to go against the grain.”

“What if I can never fit in with Chase’s friends, though?” It would be so much easier if I were more like Essie and less like me.

“What if you can?” she counters.

“What if they don’t like me?” Those girls hit where it hurts every time, and as much as I don’t want it to, the sting lingers.

“I’m too high energy for some people and for others I’m a mood lifter. You’re not going to be for everyone, Cammie. But if Chase likes you just the way you are, then his close friends probably will, too.”

Brody’s always been nice to me, and he’s Chase’s best friend. So there’s hope yet. “I think I’m falling for him,” I admit. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

Essie’s smile turns empathetic. “Of course you don’t. No one does. But falling in love is part of life. And it’s amazing and scary and all the best things. Maybe Chase is it for you. Maybe you’ve found your one. But the only way to know for sure is to jump in with both feet.”

“It’s kind of terrifying.”

“Of course it is. But it can be so amazing, too. Sometimes we have to choose to live life scared, or we’re not really living it at all.”

“You’re right.”

“I know.”

“Thanks, Essie.”

“Anytime, little sis. Can I tell you how excited I am to finally come see you this weekend?” She sets the phone in a holder and turns on the sink.

“Mom and Dad have been messaging relentlessly. I seriously hope they don’t embarrass me,” I grumble. It’s parents’ weekend and there is no way Essie will miss out on this opportunity.

“They will one hundred percent embarrass you. But everyone’s parents will, so you won’t be alone. Will I meet Chase?” She wipes the mask off her face with a wet washcloth.

“Maybe. Probably?” I pull my hood up as realization hits me. “Oh my God, I have to meet his parents.”

“I can show up early and perform magic.” She flutters her fingers in front of her face.

“But you’re coming with Mom and Dad, right? We can just pick an outfit now and I’ll do my best with your tutorials for this.” I point to my face.

“Sounds good. Take me to your closet.”

Half an hour later, my meet-Chase’s-parents outfit is chosen, and I have four makeup tutorials to watch.

I sit my ass in my chair and finally, finally finish the short story for submission for the creative writing course next fall. The next step is to have it edited, but at least it’s drafted. You can’t fail if you don’t try, but you can’t succeed either.

Since I’m on a roll, I tackle an English assignment before I finally hop into my newest chapter. I have new messages from my fic bestie.

There’s a knock on my door.

I hop up from my desk and check the peephole before I throw it open. “Hi, sexy boyfriend.”

Chase grins and bends down to kiss me. “Hi, sexy girlfriend. You ready to grab dinner?”

“Oh crap. It’s that time already? Just give me a second.” I rush back to my computer.

“Who’s The Real Ophelia?” Chase asks as I exit the chat and close my computer.

“She’s my online bestie. We’re both obsessed with LotR,” I explain.

Chase frowns. “How did you two meet?”

“Through fanfic. We read the same fics, and she beta reads my chapters most of the time before I post them. She’s a senior in high school.”

“How do you know that? Have you met in real life?” Chase presses.

“No, but we talk about school all the time and she’s currently reading all the same books I did in my senior year of high school.” I slide my feet into my Docs and pull the laces tight.

“What if he’s a forty-year-old dude? He could be a high school teacher who’s catfishing you.” Chase’s eyes go wide.

“That’s all kinds of problematic for so many reasons. And she’s not a forty-year-old dude. She talks like a teenager, not like a forty-year-old trying to talk like a teenager.” I pat his chest. “You’re being paranoid. It’s cute, but also unnecessary.”

“Just promise if you decide to meet in person that I can come with you.”

“So you can be my bodyguard?” I shrug into my bomber jacket.

“Yes. Exactly.”

“Sure thing.” I push up on my toes and kiss the bottom of his chin. “You’re cute when you’re being all protective.”

“You mean fierce and alpha, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

Chase checks his phone. “Brody and a few of the guys have a table already. They can save us a couple of seats if you want to join them? Or would you rather it be just us?”

The only way to fit in with his friends is to give them the chance to get to know me and for me to get to know them. “We can join them.”

His smile widens and his thumbs fly across the keyboard. “Cool.”

We leave my room and he laces our fingers together. We pass Barbie and Annabelle who give us tight smiles. They’re still banned from the hockey parties at Mac’s and they’re definitely not happy about that.

I remind myself that they don’t matter. It’s better to live life scared than not live it at all.