• everybody but me •

toya pov //

I rub my eyes with one of my hands as we stand away from Akito and An.

"Okay, I just." I breathe out, trying to peice together a way of saying things from my head into words.

"I feel like it's going a little fast." I looked at her.

"I haven't really even fully processed much yet, and I think you're jumping ahead." I blink, and she smiles.

"Thank you for saying, honestly. I'll slow down." She smiled.

"I didn't realise I was, sorry. I let myself get out of hand there." She itches the back of her head, laughing.

"Oh no, no that's okay. I didn't want to hide it, and then explode and break up because it's been bottled up. I'd rather fix it sooner and stay." I smile warmly and she returns it as she jumps onto me and kisses my cheek.

Thank god I fixed it. Releif washes over me, and I have problems with Hana fixed again.

Just before I get back to the other two, I hesitate. I look at Akito, his back facing toward me. An pokes him and points at me, as he turns around and his green eyes meet mine. He smiles with the perfect smile he always has, his eyes pretty like jewels.

Fuck! Stop. What's even happening? My head is playing tennis. Hana. Akito. Hana. Akito.

I go over to him, despite feeling like caving both mine and his skulls in. I probably come off as calm but you know, thoughts stay inside I guess.

"You good with Hana?" He frowned.

"Yeah, all good, thanks." I smile.

"We have english first. I'm going to kill myself." An groaned, looking devastated as she hung her head dramatically.

"So real." Akito muttered. I laugh at them both, rolling my eyes.

I drag his ass to class, shoving him down in his chair.

"Mine after school? I don't think my parents are home so you can come." I offer to Akito.

"Huh? Oh, sure." He smiles. I write down all the questions given and answer them correctly. Akito gets a few wrong, but more right than not.

"You're getting a lot better at studying." I point out.

"Cause of you." He looked at me, and my heart pummelled as his eyes locked on my lips for less than a second.

It was nothing. It was a mistake. He didn't mean to.

I assure myself that- uhm. That it wasn't meant to happen. My focus is thrown off immeditely.

I rememeber my convorsation with KAITO. At one point, he told me that he feels like the answer could be myself, how I'm forcing myself into things to either please others, or subconsiously feel the need to always have people like me.

Am I forcing myself to like Hana?

What.

The fuck.

akito pov //

Oh my god. Wait, fuck that. I hate god.

I want to punch a wall so hard. Like slam my fist through it. I might do between now and next lesson.

I close my eyes for a second and look at Toya from the side. He's looking at the board, focused on the work. I angle my head just a little so I don't hurt my neck.

"Heyy??" He waved his hand in front of my face. I blink and shake my head off. I must've zoned out.

"You were staring at me for like two minutes straight." He laughed.

"I didn't mean to." I smile. I really did.

An turns around to our desk and steals my hand away, doodling on it. I let her, unbothered.

I've learnt how to just completely mask the searing pain in my throat. It kinda just exists now. I don't know.

I'm waiting on it to do its thing.

I can currently feel it sat just below my throat, probably three or four days away from entering it and cutting off my breathing. Maybe sooner. I hope so.

I don't really care about being here anymore. If you cancel out Toya, An, Kohane and my family, I bet my life savings nobody would realise I was gone. Maybe Tsukasa and Rui for the pure fact they always talk to Toya, and I'm always with Toya.

I don't care enough. Honestly.

I itch my neck, swallowing as I feel my body come into contact the with spikes on the flower. Apparently sunflowers have spikes. Ones that grow in your chest, at least.

I can feel it jabbing into me.

I strain as I literally feel the entire thing shift upward a little, a new spike forming. It tore through the bottom of my throat, digging it's cruel material inside.

I cough, unable to stop it, tears forming my eyes.

"You oka-" Toya stops dead when he sees the blood in my hand. My vision blurrs out, everything spinning round. I hadn't coughed up petals, but blood was coating my hands and lap.

"Akito? Akito!" Toya caught me as I passed out onto him. An looked around, realising what happened as she told the teacher.

Toya picked me up fast as fuck, running out. People whispered, wondering what happened, but they ignored it once we left. An was behind us.

toya pov //

Uh, uhm. Is it normal? To uhm. I'm panicking. Oh my god.

Blood is running from his mouth, his unconscious body in my arms. I ran into the medical room and the nurse frowned when she saw me.

"What on earth happened?!" She exclaimed when I laid him across a sofa designated for waiting students.

"I- I don't know-" I stammer.

Akito wakes up, stirring.

"I need room." She looked at me. I nodded and walked out. An was stood outside, looking terrified.

"So, you gonna tell me the hell's up with him?" I say to her, looking into her eyes.

"I don't-" She stammered.

"But you do, because you whispered to the teacher, like you knew exactly what was up, right?" I frown.

"No. Dude I literally just told her that he coughed up blood..??" An muttered. I hear small voices.

"Don't tell Toya. Please. He can't find out." I hear Akito faintly murmur. My heart drops through the ground immeditely as my eyes widen.

"An knows, An knows. You can't tell him." I hear him plead.

"So you do know?" I turn around to her.

"Huh?" An blinked at me.

"Listen." I gently push her up close to the window, making sure I don't listen to my head and throw her ass through the glass.

"Fuck." She rested her forehead against it, breathing out.

"I can't tell you I really can't." She looked at me.

"But what? Why?!" I frown.

"Because I just can't. I feel so shit right now. You'll only know when it's too late." She wiped her eyes.

"Oh. Well shit, that's great." I laugh, rub in my forehead stressfully.

Akito walks out.

"I'm really sorry." He hugged me.

"Akito tell me what's happening to you. Tell me what the hell is happening." I say sternly, but accept his hug regardless.

"I wish I could, Toya." He says quietly, his voice croaky and raspy.

"I really want to." He held me tighter.

"Come on, let's go. We are going to my house." I take his hand and sign out from school despite receptionists having a go at us for leaving.

I breathed out shakily, and it started raining a little. Akito loves the rain. He looked up for a second, then at the small ripples the drops sent through a puddle.

I slowed down a little so he could take in the rain, and we calmly walked down my road to the end where I lived.

I opened the door with my keys and went in, Akito behind me. He licked his lips and I let go of his hand.

Oh god. I didn't realise I was holding his hand the entire way. Fuck.

I'm going to have an entire breakdown again. I'm gonna need KAITO later.

"You hungry or anything?" I ask him, receiving a shake of his head as he looked at the floor guiltily. I shove his shoulders down and sit him on the sofa.

"Akito, why can't you tell me? Why can't An, or anybody tell me?" I frown.

"Because it's about you." He answered honestly, his eyes shining over.

"Huh? What is?" I sit cross legged on the floor in front of him and rest my chin on his knees, looking up at his face.

"Just. The thing." He shrugged. I feel so frustrated that nobody is telling me anything but they all seem to know.

"Does Kohane know?" I breathe out.

"I think so." He nodded.

Oh, cool. So I'm the only one who doesn't know.

akito pov //

Fuck I feel so bad.

I made a scene and got Toya worried for good reason, and I can't give him an explanation even though the others have one.

My clock is ticking but I don't even know what time I have left, for sure not much.

The school nurse knows about it now, and she said that three more spikes to form and it'll kill me.

So far I've had a single spike grow in through around two days, but recently it's been a day or half. I don't know how long and it's scaring me.

I know how much this is hurting Toya but I can't do anything about it. No way in hell am I letting anybody including myself tell him what I have.

'So like, I know you have a girlfriend but I have a crush on you but you don't, so a flower is eating my chest and the only way to fix it is for you to love me back.'

Great, right? If somebody told me that I'd flip the fuck out.

I want to rip all of my hair out due to pure frustration. He looks really upset. He's sat in front of me, silently looking at the floor.

"Did I do something wrong?" He laughed painfully and looked up at me.

The emotion in the way he laughed shattered my heart. I'm so sorry Toya.

"No! No no you didn't." I shake my head. I cough hard into my hands, knowing I'm done for. I get up and go into his bathroom, locking the door.

His fist knocks against it.

"Akito what the hell are you hiding?!" He demanded. I collapsed onto the floor, before everything blurred out and my ears rung.

I covered my mouth as I leaned over his toilet and I threw up multiple flowers.

"Did you just-" Toya sighs. I hear him walk away from the door. I spit out remaining blood in my mouth, tears in my eyes.

It was just blood and sunflowers in the toilet. I blink and flush it.

My eyebrows and eyes rest as I feel another thorn push into my throat.

Two left.

/////////////

1815 words

bit of a longer chapter for you all 😋😋💯

got lazy w the title 😭

im planning on trying to fit 3 or 4 more chapters in, if i can 5, but i don't want to drag it on so i'll only push to 5 if i can think of a really good idea to keep the plot going probably won't happen though so expect 3/4 more i'll update on ideas in writers note

things are getting badddd

i'm gonna try make y'all cry in the last chapters it's my aim 😈😈😈😈😈

OH MY GOD BLACK FINS IS SUCH A GOOD SONG