•the space between•

akito pov //

I collapse down next to the toilet, after vomiting into it. Small, completely irrelavent side note: it was a very concerning amount of blood alongside a solid two handfuls of petals. How has everything got so much worse over a day only?

My mum came in to check on me. I have a small drip of blood running from my mouth, but wipe it away before she can see.

I cough weakly, wincing as flower stems and spikes jam into my chest. I can feel it creeping slowly into my throat, threatening to grip onto it soon. It stings like something I haven't felt before.

I cough again, on my hands and knees as crimson splashed onto my tile floor, a few stray drops sitting around the pool.

My mum ran in and looked at the mess, and immeditely rushed down to my side.

"It'll be over soon, okay? Give it a minute." She said soothingly, holding my hand as she stroked her thumb over my knuckles. She was telling the truth. It ended in just under two minutes, the agony finally easing out.

I collapse against my wall as I cover my mouth with both my hands, letting out a shaky breath as I tear up. The shit I coughed up containes a large spillage of petals. An alarming amount, if you ask me.

I felt familiar arms surround me- my mothers. They were holding me close, but managed to distance so far away. Theres only one pair of arms that'll never fail to make me feel better. Guess who.

toya pov //

After dashing up to my room, I collapse onto my bed. I groan loudly into my pillow, burying my face into it.

Father walks in and I sit up, swallowing down bile. I look at him, my legs crossed on my bed, as I fiddle with my own hands.

"So, where were you, son?" He asks me sternly.

"I-I-" Breathe in, and out. Relax.

"I was practicing singing." I say, looking at him nervously.

"Why? With who? Akito?" He narrowed his eyes at me.

"He's a bad influence if you ask me. You shouldn't be around him so much." Father rolled his eyes. He always does this. He always rants about how bad Akito is for me, but he doesn't even know half of the shit I've gone through with him.

"He's not you need to just- you need to give him a chance." I say hesitantly, my hands shaking.

"Excuse me? You don't tell me what to do." He spat viciously. I swallow. Fuck. I shouldn't have said anything. I never do, why did I today?

"Apologise." He leaned into my face. I mean, I would've done if my lips weren't glued shut with terror.

The palm of his hand collided with my face as my vision blurs. I feel the familiar ball of guilt, shame and upset form in my throat. It stings, but I can never get rid of it until father leaves.

I finally get my shit together, breathing in as I clench my jaw.

"Sorry, father." I whisper, tensing up as he squints at me skeptically, before storming out my room and slamming the door.

"Oh thank god." I murmur under my breath, rubbing my forehead stressfully. I pull out my phone, crossing my legs as I sat on my bed.

T(akito are u free rn for me to come round?)

A(uhh yeah i think)

A(yeah i am you can come)

T(alright i'll be there in 10)

I breathe out a sigh of relief, getting changed into an oversized jumper and baggy jeans, putting my

phone in my pocket. I have to get away from here.

I unlock my window, sliding it open silently as I manage to fit myself through it, climbing out. I drop down onto the floor, legging it to the end of my road before I slow down to a more even pace.

The bitter night air stung my nose and ears, a thin fog settled close to the floor. I approach Akito's door and he opens it before I get the chance to knock- was he.. waiting for me already?

I smile at him, walking in.

"Thank you so much. I just. It's very late, I didn't expect you to let me come." I mutter, looking into his olive green eyes.

"Of course. Was it your old man?" He asks, and I receive an irritated groan and eye roll when I nod.

"Okay whatever. You should stay the night." He said, nearing my face as he studied the mark I had from father's hand.

He's awfully close to me. When he steps away, I breathe out my nose, frowning, confused as to why I was tense.

I shake off my head, following Akito upstairs. I sit down next to him on his bed.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly, his gaze gently settling on my face. He speaks like this to nobody but me.

"I'm okay." I smile. I've been better, but it's alright. This is normal.

"You look really tired. Get some sleep. Do you want the floor? I can set up a mattress." He blinks at me expectantly. I don't want things to change just because of Hana. I open my mouth and close it again.

"I don't- it's up to you." Akito looked at me, his gaze exploring my expression.

"Can I stay here?" I whisper quietly.

"Sure." Akito smiles warmly, turning his LED light strips on for the night instead of his large light in the middle of the ceiling.

I blink sleepily and get into his bed when he tells me that I should make myself comfortable. He excuses himself, going into his bathroom downstairs. Why not his en suite? I frown, confused, but I don't question it.

He comes in, closing the door softly, before pulling the covers over himself behind me. I turn around and open my arms, before he hesitantly shuffled forward into them, my hands around him.

I bury my face into his shoulder.

I don't know why, but.. things are different with Hana. I'm not really- touchy, as such. Sure, she's kissed me like once or twice, but I haven't even come remotely close to sleeping with her, let alone like this.

I'm so confused. I'm not forcing myself to like her, but is there something we are missing that Akito fills in? Will it just always be like that? I'm not sure.

I can sense Akito asleep by his breath changing, and I end up drifting off myself, using Akito's body warmth to heat me up.

I don't like Akito like that. It's not that he's a boy, because I dont mind that at all. But I just don't. I cant explain it properly. We've always been touchy, but that doesn't mean anything further than best friends to me.

akito pov //

The urge to cry is fucking killing me.

It's not fair. I shouldn't be letting myself do this shit. I shouldn't be letting myself come this close to Toya. He isn't mine, he doesn't like me. When will I ever really understand that?

My chest hurts so badly I can't move my torso. Every breath is agony.

I manage to coat it, somehow falling asleep. Not too long later, Toya does too.

My alarm buzzes, before i hit my hand down on my phone to stop it, missing a few times before I irritably groan and lift my head, shoving my fist down onto it to shut it up.

I get up and stretch, poking Toya awake.

"School. Get up." I mutter.

"My bad, mum." He laughs, yawning as he gets up.

"Shut up." I smile a little but cover it, going into my bathroom to get changed. I push down the urge to cough up petals and blood, despite the ache it gives me.

I seriously just want this dumb disease to hurry up and kill me already. I don't even care anymore.

//////////////

1338 words

luna4youna i'm gonna kill you

anyways thank you so much for 200 reads i appreciate it so much

another random burst of motivation so ill write the next chapter tonight but i might finish it and post it tommorow

i got ddlc so i need to complete that as well so idk how much i'll write tn

love y'all 😊